Welcome guest, is this your first visit? Click the "Create Account" button now to join.

Results 1 to 4 of 4
  1. #1
    Limited Member leena_muslimah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    11
    Threads
    2
    Reputation
    6
    Rep Power
    0
    Likes (Given)
    0
    Likes (Received)
    1

    Women living on her own?


    I want to first start out with I have done my research and have not yet come across a hadith or ayah from the quran the forbids a women from living on her own before marriage. This post is just to tell people that and to ask how to approach my parents in allowing me to dorm for college . I also would like to say whatever college I do choose to attend is ranked in the top 25 meaning most students are very serious about their education especially me which means that partying and all that stuff is kept at minimum. I'm still a virgin I have never touched drugs and I have been present with oppurtunity too. My parents are very close-minded about this particular subject. I don't understand why they are so okay with their son moving out but not their daughter. We are no different in fact men are more prone to fitnah and drugs according to science and even Islam. So why embedd trust within him but not me? That's quite sexist and it mainly comes from the backward mentality of our culture. I don't know how to talk to them but I find it quite selfish that they would allow me to turn down to attending an ivy league school because of worries and our culture. They should be proud of their daughter not embarrassed because I am 'rebellious' and not following tradition. I don't follow a tradition that degrades me. They've made me hate Islam because everything they say was haram is because im a girl. But then I realized it Is not islam. Islam gives women and men equal rights therefore if he can move out I can too. Ive always felt as if i was born with a curse because of my gender. So sad.

  2. Report bad ads?
  3. #2
    #AlwaysInMyDuas *charisma*'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    I am a traveler, May Jannah be my home ameen
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    3,269
    Threads
    156
    Reputation
    42426
    Rep Power
    97
    Likes (Given)
    773
    Likes (Received)
    1624

    Re: Women living on her own?


    Quote Originally Posted by leena_muslimah View Post
    I also would like to say whatever college I do choose to attend is ranked in the top 25 meaning most students are very serious about their education especially me which means that partying and all that stuff is kept at minimum.
    This is not true. I had the opportunity to attend one of the top 8 universities in the US. It's notorious for being a "party school" and alcoholic drinking. But I digress..

    I think mashallah it's great that you have not done anything morally wrong and it's sad that your parents are treating you differently than your brother, but just as you said, its not due to Islam but rather culture. Many of us come from cultures where parents are overprotective of their daughters but give more freedom to the sons.

    However, I don't think you should move away from Islam just because your parents have been using it to control you. If anything, you should learn the proper teachings and teach them about it because what they told you is probably what they grew up getting told too. It also could just be that they are simply not ready to let you live on your own, and that is completely understandable, and you may not understand it at all right now. Whatever the reason may be, you have to stop thinking so negatively of your parents and instead be patient with them and help them. That's the best course of action. You will butt heads, and argue, and some times you may even hate them but they will always be there for you and I wouldn't hesitate for a second in thinking that they would die for you too. So with all of their love and affection it may come out as something you don't like such as over-protectiveness or close mindedness. But be patient with them and find ways to compromise. Also never hesitate to pray and make du'a...These are tools at your leisure and they are so powerful in changing your situation.
    1 | Likes Zeal liked this post
    Women living on her own?

    :شيئان يعرفان بشخصيتك
    مدى صبرك عندما لا تملك شيئا
    و سلوكك عندما تملك كل شئ


    Two things define you:
    Your patience when you have nothing,
    and your attitude when you have everything.

  4. #3
    IB Oldtimer piXie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    2,401
    Threads
    41
    Reputation
    33340
    Rep Power
    85
    Likes (Given)
    307
    Likes (Received)
    451

    Re: Women living on her own?


    Quote Originally Posted by leena_muslimah View Post
    I want to first start out with I have done my research and have not yet come across a hadith or ayah from the quran the forbids a women from living on her own before marriage. This post is just to tell people that and to ask how to approach my parents in allowing me to dorm for college . I also would like to say whatever college I do choose to attend is ranked in the top 25 meaning most students are very serious about their education especially me which means that partying and all that stuff is kept at minimum. I'm still a virgin I have never touched drugs and I have been present with oppurtunity too. My parents are very close-minded about this particular subject. I don't understand why they are so okay with their son moving out but not their daughter. We are no different in fact men are more prone to fitnah and drugs according to science and even Islam. So why embedd trust within him but not me? That's quite sexist and it mainly comes from the backward mentality of our culture. I don't know how to talk to them but I find it quite selfish that they would allow me to turn down to attending an ivy league school because of worries and our culture. They should be proud of their daughter not embarrassed because I am 'rebellious' and not following tradition. I don't follow a tradition that degrades me. They've made me hate Islam because everything they say was haram is because im a girl. But then I realized it Is not islam. Islam gives women and men equal rights therefore if he can move out I can too. Ive always felt as if i was born with a curse because of my gender. So sad.


    Islam doesn't give men and women equal rights - if your brother is given a 50 kg bag to carry, you will not be given an equally heavy 50 kg bag to carry too - because this wouldn't be fair and Islam is fair to both. You need to stop comparing yourself to your brother. A man is not protected the way a woman is. Man and women have biological and psychological differences and depending upon their roles and responsibilities, one will be more protected than the other and this is something very understandable.
    1 | Likes noraina liked this post

  5. #4
    Limited Member leena_muslimah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    11
    Threads
    2
    Reputation
    6
    Rep Power
    0
    Likes (Given)
    0
    Likes (Received)
    1

    Re: Women living on her own?


    Quote Originally Posted by piXie View Post


    Islam doesn't give men and women equal rights - if your brother is given a 50 kg bag to carry, you will not be given an equally heavy 50 kg bag to carry too - because this wouldn't be fair and Islam is fair to both. You need to stop comparing yourself to your brother. A man is not protected the way a woman is. Man and women have biological and psychological differences and depending upon their roles and responsibilities, one will be more protected than the other and this is something very understandable.
    You're wrong when it comes to living on our own its the Same for both

 

 
Hey there! Women living on her own? Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Women living on her own?
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. Women living in dorms?
    By leena_muslimah in forum Education Issues
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 12-26-2016, 11:32 PM
  2. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 04-12-2007, 09:37 AM
  3. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 09-18-2006, 10:53 PM
  4. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 05-23-2006, 09:04 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •