Love before marriage can be complicated to say the least. Most of us will have someone we like for marriage. We often notice that person and the little things they do, and we say to ourselves” Hey, I’d like to marry that person”. The problem is that we’ve been too influenced by our society. TV., movies cause us to feel a void in our lives. So we create this imaginary “Romeo and Juliet” –type scenario to fill it. One will find themselves in a flux between reality and fiction. Surprisingly, even we macho brothers do it sometimes (Though we’ll never dare tell anyone). Often times one will think that they’re in love with someone, but in reality, they’re just in love with the idea of loving someone. TV. and movies are all make-believe. The scenarios they portray about love can’t be plugged into real-life situations. So as Muslims we should remain pragmatic and not let our emotions get the best of us. I’m not saying that it’s wrong to like or even love someone before marriage; Marriages don’t have to be 100% arranged. It’s good to like a person before you marry them, granted you don’t transcend the limits set by Allah (SWT). The Prophet (SAW) acknowledged that two people who aren’t married can fall in love. He (SAW) once said: “The best thing to do for two people who are in love, is to get married.”
Just don’t get too attached to the idea of a particular person because a lot of times it doesn’t work out, and could lead to heartache. And it’s usually for naught, considering that you wouldn’t really know that person unless you were married to them; and, also considering that marriage is predestined anyway. Remember, the goal is marriage, not the person. If you find that you’re constantly thinking about someone- and just absolutely have to marry them- you‘re probably in the area of extreme love.
Since haraam types of love can be out of our control, they won’t necessarily earn us a sin; we earn a sin if we act on those feelings. But the matter can get more serious than just earning a sin. Loving haraam things can eventually lead to us negating our emaan.
Loving haraam things can eventually lead to us negating our emaan.
so true sis
jazakallah..very beneficial
''Let the days do as they please,
And be optimistic when destiny decrees,
Do not despair due to the events of nights past
For the events of this world were not meant to last.”
lol so true sister! and most of the time "love" before marriage doesnt work out! u jus get urself into this delusional state which in most cases just leads to heartache! so best 2 stay away from all this inshAllah! another thing ive realised is that if u trully love somebody, surely u wouldnt want them 2 burn in the hellfire would u? so if u trully love them stay away from the haraam things! u should always want to marry some1 who is God-fearing
love before marriage is nothing more then a fitnah
From Abū Hurayrah that Prophet (sallallahu ‘alaihay wa sallam) said,
“When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes to any of you, then marry him. If you do not do such there will be fitnah and great fasād (discord, or what could be meant is zinā - fornication) on earth!”
^ Sometimes you're pushed and you can't take control.
I didnt ever think you'd say something like that...(I dont mean that in a bad way)
But its true, things do sometimes get out of our control, but I feel that there will always without a doubt come a point where you take a step back and think about what you're doing. And its from there we either try to back off or take halal steps.
I didnt ever think you'd say something like that...(I dont mean that in a bad way)
But its true, things do sometimes get out of our control, but I feel that there will always without a doubt come a point where you take a step back and think about what you're doing. And its from there we either try to back off or take halal steps.
I didn't take it in a bad way.
I meant that you can't control who you like, it's not in our hands, it's in the Hands of Allaah. The heart keeps changing, it flips back and forth, which is why the Messenger used to make the dua', 'Oh Turner of hearts..." So if you end up liking/loving someone, then that is beyond you. You're responsible for how you go from there, i.e. whether you take the halal or haraam.
“Do not argue with your Lord on behalf of your soul, rather argue with your soul on behalf of your Lord.” - Dhul-Nun
"It is the very pursuit of happiness that thwarts happiness." - Victor Frankl
What I meant by my first comment is that I expected you to be criticising the ones who fall into that trap rather than what you actually said. masha'Allah
the idea of love has become the only way to happiness for many people and unfotunately many muslims follow the same example ,it's because of that void in people life and the remotness from god that they started to seek happiness because they know they are not happy but they don't know in the right place and will never find what they are looking for.
when we know that marriage is predistined and that everything is in god's hand we will not focus on who we maarry but as you said on marriage itself but that doesn't mean there should not be love and our prophet prayer of god upon him gave us the best example of love in marriage.We can not control our hearts and who we love but we can be clear sighted and decide what kind of person we will love by deciding what kind of people we want to be as god said '' attayibuna li tayibat''
and just to anwser the one who asked how one can marry if they don't go out with together i will say that love is a ni'ma from allah and what is in god's hand will never be obtained through disobeying him and there people who go out together for years and when they marry they fail in living together and make each other miserable.
baraka allahu fikom wa jazakom allaho khayran
salaam
What happens to people , like for eg men who are married and looking for love so that they can marry? I mean i have seen men who r actively seeking to fall in love and although they r married. I know one of my friend whose husband is always on internet and trying to find somebody. of course he wants to get married.
weird world:enough!:
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love before marriage is nothing more then a fitnah
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