sister problems

**tchentoali** · 10-27-2008

Assalam Aleikum brothers and sisters, my problem is that a sister of mine has strayed from faith completely and is being a hypocrite, today i got rare opportunity of going through her inbox and being born into a strong muslim family, the information shocked me, she drinks alcohol, smokes marijuana, and commits zina. i am currently printitng out the evidence to confront her but i am so angry i dont think i can look her in the eye. please help with some suggestions. maasalam

**tchentoali** · 10-30-2008

Thanks to all of you for helping me out in the darkest hour of my life, not even past issues have tied me down like this one im currently facing, InshAllah Allah guide me in what i will do. Maasalam

**Ansariyah** · 10-30-2008

Originally Posted by Yanoorah

u shudnt have spied. Now that u know, u have to tell ur sister the truth.
You can start by telling her that you love her and dont like to see her die upon the path she's walking upon. If you are practisin, try to get your sister to spend more time with you.

Avoid to humiliate her, or in anyway degrade her. Allah can forgive her, but if you are mean to her, its worse. Imagine, maybe u are her only hope, and if u do something to her that hurts she will distance herself from you. And fall deeper and deeper into the gutter.

Truth is no one wants to stay in darkness, we just need someone kind enuff to pull us out of the dirt and remind us that yes we failed, but we are human and we can change. Allah is the judge. We have to help each other, thas our duty towards one another.

I jst wnted 2 add this to my post!

(Al Imran 3:159)

And by the Mercy of Allah, you dealt with them gently. And had you been severe and harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about you; so pass over (their faults), and ask (Allah's) Forgiveness for them; and consult them in the affair. Then when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him).

**Ayesha Rana** · 10-30-2008

if ur her big bro then i'd say it's ur right to keep n ey on her though u cant expose her sin to someone ele without a good reason unless she openly committed it.

Julie Sarri's suggestion sounds good Masha'llah. Try taking her to places were she will be in good company. iman comes first...then the rules. that's how Allah revealed the qur'an so it's the best method Insha'Allah. if the arabs were told to stop drinking from the start the streets of Makkah would never have flowed witht the wine they threw away. May Allah help u and He is with those hu are patient.

**The Khan** · 10-30-2008

Originally Posted by Mz

or maybe they were in denial, and didnt want to admit it.

either way, its sad that this has been able to stay undercover for so long, shows the family isnt working well together...

Actually, by family, I meant "my mother's family". My father didn't mind... I told him immediately. My parents are divorced, and I keep switching where I live according to my mood.

However, my mother didn't realise until one day I forgot to use perfume and a mouth freshner after smoking a cigarette and going over to her place. Then, the usual family bombardment - uncles and aunts living from Saudi, UAE, etc calling up and shouting at me, etc etc. It had the opposite effect, made me go into drinking. When they discovered that as well, I went into marijuana. Then tried LSD. Then I developed Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder and my life went haywire. Alhamdulilah, this curse ended up turning my way around and ended up guiding me towards Islam. I realised that Allah (SWT) always has his way of guiding us misguided ones back to him. It was such a torture initially...reading Salat and seeing the textures of your prayer mat change into skulls and monsters...

From what's happened to me, I can confirm that confronting a delinquent family member will have the opposite effect of what you desire.