it would be sad if in say, america or london a brother cant scrounge up at least 3-5 thousand pounds for his wifes protection and benefit.
But I dont want him to give me money for my protection. He's supposed to be my protector....he's supposed to be the one who will take care of me and provide for me insha'Allah, what am I gonna do with the K's? he'll need it more than me....plus he can buy stuff for me with it instead
But I dont want him to give me money for my protection. He's supposed to be my protector....he's supposed to be the one who will take care of me and provide for me insha'Allah, what am I gonna do with the K's? he'll need it more than me....plus he can buy stuff for me with it instead
hey be happy, its just paper we're talking about here. my mum got a huge huge amount of land lol
no wifes ever gnna get anything like that
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My tears testify that i have a heart
yet i feel me and shaytan never part
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In general, because I'm sure it's not right to ask for specifics..
And non married sisters, what would you ask for?
Brothers, what are you planning on giving?
i would image it would depend on what he had. seriously, if i lived in a society where the mahr was payed in animals (it can be payed in animals, right?), i would ask for a Hud Hud (a hoope). i would ask for abit more than that though...
but if he was way loaded, i would ask to spend Ramadan in mecca (if my mum doesn't kill me that is)
i think it'll be best for the sisters to take into consideration what he's able to pay...
and also for the bothers not to be stingy. i mean that in the sense where some brothers-even though they are able to pay it- act as if they have no money, etc and don't pay it as it were originally stipulated... :rolleyes:
Last edited by Ummu Sufyaan; 02-02-2009 at 08:33 AM.
...desperate for husnul-khitaam...
please make dua that Allah grants me a good end (to my life). please make dua that Allah guides me.
I think in bengali culture , we have to give gold, i think just enough so Zakat isnt charged on it, bit stingy i know. wheter this is dowry or mahr i dont know, is there a difference, so the its around 3000-4000 nowadays and a saree , any thing up to 700
Then we have to give her some land , from back home, just making sure its in her name and all that. that part is easy because you dont even know what land you have got, so its not like your missing something.
Hmm, I actually have no idea, never thought about it much before.
I think some new camera equipment would be nice...
And perhaps an amazing honeymoon full of lots of traveling.
Gold? Meh, I'm not a fan of gold.. Some sort of ring though, platinum or silver maybe, so that something (besides the actual husband, lol) remains after the honeymoon is over and the camera stuff gets old.
I once heard of a woman, who the only thing she asked from her future husband as a dowry, was his memorization of the Quran. I thought that was so beautiful subhanallah, inshallah I will ask any future husband of mine for that. Imagine all the hasanat! It's like a dowry that's saved for you until the day of judgement, when you most need it.
It's sad I've seen people spending almost 100k on a wedding night and the next day they can't even afford to pay their bills. What's the point? I really don't understand.
I heard of a man got married and made his wedding a legendary one, very very expensive part, and after that going in a honeymoon....according to the wife request, but what was the result?
all the money he got was from bank and he got his first child after 1 and a half year of his marriage while he still pay back for his debt to bank. The child needed money as well for his care a well as the wife. problems start raised between the couples because of the money and the husband blamed the wife for her hard requests before the marriage........finally they ended up getting divorced
format_quote Originally Posted by crayon
I think some new camera equipment would be nice...
lol, I think for me a professional computer with its accessories and full peripherals is better than gold ...gold is an old fashioned lol
I think in bengali culture , we have to give gold, i think just enough so Zakat isnt charged on it, bit stingy i know. wheter this is dowry or mahr i dont know, is there a difference, so the its around 3000-4000 nowadays and a saree , any thing up to 700
i thought dowy is the trans. of mahr. no?
...desperate for husnul-khitaam...
please make dua that Allah grants me a good end (to my life). please make dua that Allah guides me.
I think in bengali culture , we have to give gold, i think just enough so Zakat isnt charged on it, bit stingy i know. wheter this is dowry or mahr i dont know, is there a difference, so the its around 3000-4000 nowadays and a saree , any thing up to 700
Then we have to give her some land , from back home, just making sure its in her name and all that. that part is easy because you dont even know what land you have got, so its not like your missing something.
Interesting replies. Please keep them coming. I'm taking notes.
format_quote Originally Posted by alcurad
a kiss & a happy life, atm, I'm broke working on it though.
but usually people where I come from ask for something like $20k-$25k. atleast..well not atleast, but it's not uncommon. it really depends whether the two families are marrying or only the bride and groom, get my drift..
bro Abu Sayyad, don't worry, it's all worth it, when's the happy news?
Not yet.... Make Dua' for me though
“Do not argue with your Lord on behalf of your soul, rather argue with your soul on behalf of your Lord.” - Dhul-Nun
"It is the very pursuit of happiness that thwarts happiness." - Victor Frankl
the equivalent in money to what the mahr of Fatima radhiallahu anha was.
Last edited by S_87; 02-02-2009 at 07:11 PM.
Our Lord! Verily, we have heard the call of one calling to Faith: 'Believe in your Lord,' and we have believed.
Our Lord! Forgive us our sins and expiate from us our evil deeds, and make us die (in the state of righteousness) along with Al-Abrar
i do know that Ali radhiallahu anhu sold armor to get money and donate that as mahr?
right?
...
i dont know the exact amount to that as it changes but around £300 im guessing
Our Lord! Verily, we have heard the call of one calling to Faith: 'Believe in your Lord,' and we have believed.
Our Lord! Forgive us our sins and expiate from us our evil deeds, and make us die (in the state of righteousness) along with Al-Abrar
If I was forced to ask for something, I'd ask for the sunnah amount....is it like £200 or something? Other than that, whats yours is mine and whats mine is yours dude, and thats all there is to it for me.
WassalamuAlaykum
format_quote Originally Posted by amani
the equivalent in money to what the mahr of Fatima radhiallahu anha was.
^
I think its around £200-£300.....somebody told me it was £233 or summin? Wallahu A'lam. I think they call it mahr fatimi. Well this was Ummah forum so....lol
Then we have to give her some land , from back home, just making sure its in her name and all that. that part is easy because you dont even know what land you have got, so its not like your missing something.
thats abit of a worry. and a little deceitful
format_quote Originally Posted by Saifur-Rahmaan
MashaAllaah, if the majority of sisters hold the same outlook, then maybe the brothers dont have to spend the first couple of years just paying off the Mahr!!
but then, i really don't get why you brothers put yourselves through all these unnecessary conditions. why don't you just go find yourselves a simple family okay, im know they're hard to find, but seriously, surely they still exist...seriously, i just don't get it...
the way i look at it: if he/she dont like you the way you are, then just go find someone else, no?
Last edited by Ummu Sufyaan; 02-07-2009 at 09:46 AM.
...desperate for husnul-khitaam...
please make dua that Allah grants me a good end (to my life). please make dua that Allah guides me.
I think its around £200-£300.....somebody told me it was £233 or summin? Wallahu A'lam. I think they call it mahr fatimi. Well this was Ummah forum so....lol
yeh the exact amount changes all the time with silver prices changing or something
Our Lord! Verily, we have heard the call of one calling to Faith: 'Believe in your Lord,' and we have believed.
Our Lord! Forgive us our sins and expiate from us our evil deeds, and make us die (in the state of righteousness) along with Al-Abrar
A reasonable mahr is simply one that is reasonably affordable for the groom, i.e. one that will not burden him, or put him in to debt.
I remember reading the book of marriage, particularly the chapter on mahr, in al-Mulakhkhas al-fiqhi, by shaykh Fawzaan helped me a lot when I had to make such a decision. I remember this quote by Ibn Taymiyyah in that chapter:
"If the dowry given is much, it is not deemed detestable as long as the groom is able to afford it, unless the large amount is offered for detestable purposes, such as boastfulness, showing off, and the like. However, if the groom is unable to afford such a large dowry, it is detestable for him to present it.
[...]
If the amount of dowry is much and it is deferred to be paid later, it should be deemed detestable also due to the difficulty caused to the groom by the burden."
An interesting point that the shaykh expalined, was that whatever the girl's father/guardian requests from the groom, such as clothes or jewellery, this counts as the mahr. So yes sisters, be reasonable in this matter too. I know in the Somali culture, the groom has to present the wife with suitcases full of duroo3 (a type of dress, typically worn by Somali women), which are normally bought from the Emirates nowadays, and loads of gold, as well as the mahr. Obviously, that puts a lot of strain and burden on young brothers who are struggling to get married.
Shaykh 'Uthaymeen (rahimahullaah) stated:
"Extravagance in dowry payments and wedding celebrations are all in conflict with the Islamic Law, because the most blessed marriage is the least expensive one; and the more the expenses are decreased, the more the blessing are increased."
- Fatawa Islamiyah - ;The book of Marriage; Volume 5, pg.300
And as for all those sisters who are whining about making hijrah, or going abroad to study the deen. If you're really sincere, then you won't place your husband in to endless debt, for this dunya, or status etc. I say status, because a lot of the time it's all social status, and israaf. Really, do you think any amount of money can cover what you're worth? The mahr is a gift, not a price tag.
I'll just end with the speech of our Messenger (salAllaahu 'alayhi wa 'ala aalihi wa sallam) on this matter:
Uqbar bin Amir (radiyAllaahu 'anhu) narrated that the Messenger of Allaah (salAllaahu alayhi wa sallam) said, "The best dower is the easiest one." {Related by Aboo Dawood. Al Haakim graded it as saheeh}
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, meh you can always ask..
.
It's sad I've seen people spending almost 100k on a wedding night and the next day they can't even afford to pay their bills. What's the point? I really don't understand.
...gold is an old fashioned lol
okay, im know they're hard to find, but seriously, surely they still exist...seriously, i just don't get it...
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