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Marrying

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    anonymous's Avatar Restricted Member
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    Marrying

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    Asaalamalaykum, would a sister marry a man who isnt attractive yet has good qualities and characters of a muslim in him?

    honest replys sisters
    Marrying

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    Ar-RaYYan's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Marrying

    i will give you an honest answer brother!
    If the brother is practising, have a good qualities such as sense of humour, mature , reliable , honest etc definetly I would marry him! but obviously that have to be mutual attraction between the couple!
    looks are not that important to women as its to men! Women value more the security marriage brings. Some of the sisters actually value inner beauty than physical appearance. I think majority of the sisters would rather marry some one who might not be good-looking but has a good character than someone who is attractive but is arrogant, unreliable and not practising his deen properly.
    Brother, do not despair inshallah there will be a sister who will inshallah find you attractive and would marry you. when evaluating ourselve we are our worst enemy so you might think you are 'unattractive' but there will be inshallah a sister that will find you attractive will glady and gratefully marry you.

    Do not give up

    inshallah i will make a du'a for you
    Last edited by Ar-RaYYan; 04-03-2009 at 11:28 AM.
    Marrying

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    IbnAbdulHakim's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Marrying

    my sisters always say they dont care about looks.



    besides, no ones totally ugly - everyone can be decent lookin if they tried

    if your fat - go slim
    if you got acne - go on a diet
    if your super skinny - go fat

    i honestly think everyone can be decent looking if they tried you dont have to be drop dead stunning
    Marrying

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    Re: Marrying

    format_quote Originally Posted by Fighting4Iman View Post
    if your fat - go slim
    if you got acne - go on a diet
    if your super skinny - go fat
    ^^ Easier said than done.

    Well in my experience with the sisters that I know, most sisters would be perfectly fine with marrying an average looking brother who's deen is exceptional 'cause the general consensus is that looks fade lol and the family that prays together, stays together!
    Marrying

    *Acausal synchronicity*

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    Re: Marrying

    I will tell you my 100% honest opinion on the matter;

    Some sisters say yes, but when it comes right down to it(marriage) they'll refuse him if they don't think he is good looking.
    It happens.
    Some sisters say it matters, but when her naseeb comes along,even though in the eyes of the entire world he is "not good looking",she will see him as the most beautiful man in the world.
    It happens frequently,trust me, I've seen it in NUMEROUS occasions.


    Personally, and I really mean this, I would.Definetly. I don't care what people think of him,as someone else had mentioned,there has to be attraction, and attraction does not always necessarily come from looks. It can come from personality,actions,etc...If a sister sees a bro for the first time and goes...hm..yeah,he's not all that good looking,then gets to know him, her opinion might change 110% percent,and she might be completly committed to him.Even if someone "great looking" comes along, she wouldn't care.

    I've seen this situation too

    Women are not as shallow as most men think...but sometimes...if you're considered a "beautiful" girl/guy...and you marry an unattractive guy/girl, in the eyes of many(sometimes your close ones,which is really sad..) they will make distastful comments. It's horrible, unjust and condemnable (and very annoying)...but both of you have to learn to live with it and not pay it any mind.

    In the end, if you ask me, no one is "ugly"...truth said,beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

    Hope it helped;best of luck
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    Re: Marrying

    There's a hadith that says you shouldn't dislike something about your spouse because if one quality in them does not suit you some other quality will be.

    I would gladly marry a Muslim brother if he was not attractive to me but was a great Muslim. You should marry someone because of their iman not because of their looks.
    Last edited by kwolney01; 04-03-2009 at 12:14 AM. Reason: typo
    Marrying

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    Re: Marrying

    wa alaykum us-Salaam
    format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous View Post
    Asaalamalaykum, would a sister marry a man who isnt attractive yet has good qualities and characters of a muslim in him?

    honest replys sisters
    honesty? looks arent the hugest issue to most sisters...having said that though she would probably find that she needs to marry someone she finds attractive.. if she does reject you for your looks, she probably doesn't think you're ugly or anything, but just not her type good looking...get me?
    also, a sis might marry a brother she finds unattractive yet only marry him because she feels he'll be a good father...

    most sisters would marry someone they thought was physically unattractive and yet be totally attracted to his character, manners, etc and that alone to her would make him physically attractive...also most sisters would marry someone they thought was physically unattractive with the expectation that his looks would grow on her once they get to know each other properly...so time and friendship is important here...as i said, his character manners etc will make him physically attractive to her.
    and thats with most girls i think because girls are more attracted to character and manners in a guy then looks, but with guys its usually the other way around, innit.
    you know how they say that someone can be super duper unattractive yet have the best manners and that would totally shine through and make them physcailly attractive...and then theres the opposite of that where someone is super duper attractive and yet have the worst attitude and that would completely make them super duper physically unattractive get me?
    Last edited by Ummu Sufyaan; 04-18-2009 at 01:09 PM.
    Marrying

    ...desperate for husnul-khitaam...


    please make dua that Allah grants me a good end (to my life). please make dua that Allah guides me.

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  10. #8
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    Re: Marrying

    hrmmm.......... Beauty is within the eyes of the beholder..... You may like something that another dislikes, if there is something maybe even one thing about a person that you dislike look for the 100 things that you can find and like!!!!!!

    Looks don't really matter as long as you get on and have respect and love for each other..................

    As bro above said everyone can be beautiful!!
    Marrying

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    Re: Marrying

    unanimous posts from the sisters....i hope no1 is lieing
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    Re: Marrying

    No. Because being handsome (like Ren-sama) is crucial. But that's my opinion.
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  14. #11
    Ar-RaYYan's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Marrying

    format_quote Originally Posted by Abdullahii View Post
    unanimous posts from the sisters....i hope no1 is lieing
    the brother wanted an honest answer so we gave him a one!
    Why bother writing all that if we are not truthful?!
    Marrying

    Dear Allah. I pray that whoever reads this message shall have your comfort, joy, peace, love, & guidance. I may not know their troubles, but you do. Please keep protecting us. Ameen.
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    S_87's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Marrying

    he would have to be what I find attractive. and attractiveness to everyone is different. so if you dont 'fit' a certain catergory then dont lose hope.
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    Re: Marrying

    Brother

    If she is a smart and pious muslimah , then I don't think she will look towards the physical beauty, but the inner beauty. I will suggest you that you should follow the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and try to be like him the Prophet Muhammad (SAW). Then you will see the noor in your personality better than that of physical beauty, InshaAllaah.

    .
    Marrying


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    Re: Marrying

    I think that the characters of a muslim is the most attractive thing in the man,characters of a muslim means that he is kind, faithful to his wife, romantic with his wife , a good father ,I think thats enough to be a very attractive man.
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    Re: Marrying



    I agree with the sisters... a man may not be conventionally 'good looking' but beauty comes from inside. And, although on first looks a brother may not make you go wow... when you start to know his personality, his character, insha'Allah then you go wow... and his beauty shines through. This is my experience of my fiance... not unattractive, but not instantly wow.. but masha'Allah, alhamdulillah, now walahi he is the most handsomest of men in my eyes because I adore his personality, his character traits.. and he does have lovely eyes!

    So brothers don't despair.. some of us all have these looks insecurities but Allah alim... it's the person who loves us for who we are inside that counts. As long as you are have a great deen, are good to yourself, keep clean and tidy, you will find your muslimah.

    Fi aman Allah
    :smile:
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    SouljahOfAllah's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Marrying

    Hey no worries, one man could be the most digustinging ugliest thing to one women, but the most sttractive thing to another.
    the inner beauty is like water, where as the outer beauty is fire. if there is a spark of inner beauty it will extinguish the fire.
    Marrying

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  21. #17
    Zahida's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Marrying

    Wow! MashaAllah did you think that up or did you read it from somewhere?? Beautifully said.............
    format_quote Originally Posted by SouljahOfAllah View Post
    Hey no worries, one man could be the most digustinging ugliest thing to one women, but the most sttractive thing to another.
    the inner beauty is like water, where as the outer beauty is fire. if there is a spark of inner beauty it will extinguish the fire.
    Marrying

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    Re: Marrying

    ^^^^
    well said made me smile
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    Re: Marrying

    format_quote Originally Posted by Zahida View Post
    Wow! MashaAllah did you think that up or did you read it from somewhere?? Beautifully said.............
    hey i aint a copy i like to make things up
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    convert's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Marrying

    As long as hes from back home, all is gravy right sisters?
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