How should he tell her that he wants to marry her? (OP)
I thought this fatwa was cute, so i figured i should post it!
I was recently informed of this site, ma'shallah. What is the correct way to approach a sister whom you intend to marry ? I've known this sister my entire life, in the same regard as my own blood sister and recently it was brought to my attention that she would be a perfect candidate for marriage. I believe she respects me, but I am unsure if she can accept me as her spouse. How can I know ? And what is the correct, halal way to approach ? I have nothing but the best intentions, yet my entire life I always felt I would marry her, yet out of respect I have never approached. My father and aunt (my mother has passed, allah yarham ha) are very fond of her and encourage me to pursue her, since they know her and her family extremly well.
Praise be to Allaah.
If a man feels that his heart is inclined towards a particular woman, he should follow the way that is permitted in Islam, which is marriage. If a person intends to marry a woman, he has to propose marriage to her through her wali (guardian), who is her father if he is alive, or one of her other close relatives. It is not permissible for a man to propose marriage to a woman who is not his mahram through ways that are not permissible according to sharee’ah, such as getting to know her or meeting her frequently or getting in touch with her often and speaking on the phone; these are means through which Iblees causes people to sin and which lead to regrettable consequences. It is not permissible for a person to justify his relationship with a girl by saying that she is like his sister and other silly excuses. You have to follow the proper channels as prescribed in Islam to marry this woman. When you propose marriage, it is o.k. if you try to win her over by giving her a gift through her wali. We ask Allaah to give us and you strength and to keep us away from haraam things. And Allaah is the Source of strength.
JazakhAllah, I never said I was getting married well not any time soon anyway, lol the biggest step for me is to first convince my mum about it - which could take a few years
And Jesus who In the world would need 250 grand to survive a month oh:, a woman like that would need a slap
it is an exaggeration of course, but when I say she needs, I really mean it as management of the entire household not merely on her vanity (also assuming your wife isn't financially independent herself) nonetheless, It is a man's duty and obligation to cover, groceries, rent, private schools for the kids, Islamic classes, car insurance, trips to the doctor, clothing for everyone, a percentage to charity etc..
Also depending on the city or state where you live, what requires only $200 a week in one town can require $400 in another.. you see it isn't etched in stone.. there really is no baseline.. the $2500 sounds more realistic but my feelings are that at least double that is needed to support a family with all the needs given above plus whatever problems arise, and God knows do they ever arise on weekly basis-- that is why more often than not, you find two parties working instead of one.. although it is still the man's responsibility to secure all these for his family...
and Allah swt knows best
Text without context is pretext If your opponent is of choleric temperament, seek to irritate him
Re: How should he tell her that he wants to marry her?
format_quote Originally Posted by convert
More money, more problems. I'm happy with what I've got (its a better than average salary too). Besides, if a woman needs that type of money thats kinda a telltale sign of a materialistic woman... and she wouldn't make it past the q&a portion of the courtship phase.
most divorces indeed occur an issue over finances.. I think people mismanage or have an unrealistic idea of expenses needed in a marriage and today's age.. and I am not even talking luxury, but just the bare minimum..
Consider you my friend whose aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer, she didn't have insurance and her family spent $37,000 out of pocket and I promise you, those were only to cover the bear minimum..
You just never know what curves life might throw your way.. indeed I meant the above as an exaggeration but they can be a very realistic financial burden to someone unprepared and not necessarily because your spouse is a greedy woman either...
So may Allah swt save us the ills of this world and grant us all righteous partners in marriage.. those of us who are married and those who are not
ameen
Text without context is pretext If your opponent is of choleric temperament, seek to irritate him
Re: How should he tell her that he wants to marry her?
format_quote Originally Posted by Gossamer skye
it is an exaggeration of course, but when I say she needs, I really mean it as management of the entire household not merely on her vanity
phew.
i thought u meant 250k for only her wardrobe and makeup lol. (indeed a woman like that would need more than one slap to put her straight!..im all for domesic violence here ) jokinggg..
My heart, so precious,
I won't trade for a hundred thousand souls.
Your one smile takes it for free.Rumi
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I never said I was getting married well not any time soon anyway, lol the biggest step for me is to first convince my mum about it - which could take a few years
oh:, a woman like that would need a slap
aboard.. love your name 
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