Honestly, for what reasons would you reject a potential spouse?

**Frijj** · 06-11-2009

For me, having no interest in Islam would be a real off-putting aspect in a wife, as would, naturally, me having no attraction to her.

So, what are your main off-putting factors?

**Faye** · 07-24-2009

Originally Posted by Layla454

I can understand interfering but if his family is non-practising, its not really his fault so I think thats a bit unfair

I'm not talking about fault. But you have to live with them, raise your children around them. Once they're your family you don't get to break off connections with them. You can't choose your birth family, but you can try to choose your marriage family.

**Faye** · 07-24-2009

Originally Posted by OxygenHacker

asalam u alikum wa rehmatulahi wa berkathu

how is the family creepy??

what is a mongrel??

if your in pakistan you either speak urdu or english or do you know othe languages like pushto,sindhi etcc???

Jazak ALLAH

Illegal/Political connections = extremely creepy (to me)
A mongrel is a person of mixed racial background.
I heard of a Pakistani girl (classmate of a friend) who married a man from some South American country, and went to live in his country. They didn't have any common languages = communicated in sign language for the first couple of months. Scary.
I can speak three languages and understand two more (if spoken slowly).

**Beardo** · 07-24-2009

I know how to speak a language from where I come from, but whenever I speak it, my relatives laugh because I have an English accent. That's why I don't even want to go back home anymore... It's hard to communicate.

At the same time, those subcontinental countries get very amazed when you say you come from America. And the businessmen are very smart, despite them having no education. I remember I went into a store, and right away the guy asked me if I'm from out of country. I said yes, and then of course he over charged me.

**Clover** · 07-24-2009

Um, not a lot, but some of them would be:

If she is a *****, like she sleeps around then obviously not.
If she is a porn star.
If she does drugs, other then marijuana, which I am ok with, even though I wouldn't let her do near the kids, or me.
If she is going to kill me once Life Insurance is good.
If she doesn't believe in herself.

Their are others, but them are all I can think of at first.

**Salahudeen** · 07-24-2009

1. If she had male friends

2. If I found out that she takes her hijaab off for special occassions like weddings and poses in pictures without hijaab on the special occassions.

3. If she didn't cover up and dress modestly e.g no hijaab, loose clothing

4. If she wasn't interested in learning about Islam and going to seminars and lectures

5. if she wasn't hardcore into the deen, lol I need some 1 who loves to talk about Islam 24/7 lol

6. If I didn't find her physically attractive

7. If she was materialisitc and had to have all the latest hand bags lol

8. If she was self centered and had the "It's all about me, me and me attitude".

9. If she only thought about herself and lived in a fairy world and compares her life to bollywood films lol

10. If she was one of those people who crave attention 24/7 and when they don't get it they get in a strop and mood.

11. If she thought it was ok to have a harmless conversations with guys

12. If she had bad manners and talked disrespectfully to her elders

**Sizzlerjimer** · 07-24-2009

asalam u alikum wa rehamtulahi wa berkathu

squiggle ur on the same wave length as me brother these are the exacttttttttttttttttttttttttt reasons for me saying no especialy no8 thats like a big no no for me

faye are your three languages that you CAN speak are URDU,PUNJABI & ENGLISH

and the two more languages might be PUSHTO or SINDHI.
There are mixed race people in pakistan i had no idea but good to know there are but where do they all live??probably lahore or islamabad or perhaps karachi.

Jazak ALLAH

**Clover** · 07-24-2009

I have to say on the male friends thing, I am ok with that, as long as they remain friends, but a lot of girls I know, have a hard time keeping guy friends, just friends. I personally, am a jealous kinda guy, and if I caught my girl with another guy, I'd probably get very upset, and leave her, tell her the truth about herself. The guy, well, I don't know, it wouldn't be pretty to say the least.

**Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн** · 07-24-2009

There are mixed race people in pakistan i had no idea but good to know there are but where do they all live??probably lahore or islamabad or perhaps karachi.

Jazak ALLAH

yea there are, but its the same everywhere

Being kashmiri runs in ma blood but i don't even speak the language.

**Salahudeen** · 07-25-2009

Originally Posted by OxygenHacker

asalam u alikum wa rehamtulahi wa berkathu

squiggle ur on the same wave length as me brother these are the exacttttttttttttttttttttttttt reasons for me saying no especialy no8 thats like a big no no for me

Jazak ALLAH

I know, I can't stand people like that so big headed, I need a humble women

**Sizzlerjimer** · 07-25-2009

Originally Posted by Light of Heaven

yea there are, but its the same everywhere

Being kashmiri runs in ma blood but i don't even speak the language.

asalam u alikum wa rehamtualhi wa berkathu

aha jee aha kashmiri do you know what they are famous for??dnt hit me well you cant hit me but dnt hit the pc screen they are famous for EATINGGGGGG loadzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

let me tell you a joke about kashmiris

a kashmiri, an arayien and a rajput were sitting have a dinner, there host was a jutt. they all started eating and ate loads and loads.they had been eating for an hour.arayein,rajput and jutt stopped eating but the kashmiri said to the jutt the host, Man i had enough of the starters bring on the main dish

LOH do you know what payeys are?lamb payey yummmyyyyy its basically lambs brain and legs sounds disgusting but i cant explain it in english ufff pata hoo gaa payey kya hootay hein

you being kashmiri is not mixed race what i meant was mixed race as in i havent seen a pakistani married to black person etc etc in pakistan but seen them here in UK.

brother sqiugle a friend of mine made an observation about westeren girls, he was mainly talking about asian clan he said asian girls in west especialy UK are sooooooo big headed and ego centric(its a word ryt?)they donot say me and you they say ME ME ME.

May ALLAH give all of us single people a practicing and pious spouse and may ALLAH help us in bringing up a family full of islamic values. AMEEN

Jazak Allah

**GuestFellow** · 07-26-2009

Originally Posted by squiggle

I know, I can't stand people like that so big headed, I need a humble women

And if they have an attitude problem. Some girls have a serious problem with their attitude and I can't tolerate that.

I don't like girls who put makeup on and use those things that they put on their eyes. They look demonic

Oh I don't like girls who like shopping too much. I don't want to spend hours with my wife window shopping or looking at clothes that your not even going to buy. >__>

Oh and I don't like girls who watch too much Bollywood movies... >_<

**Clover** · 07-26-2009

Hey Hey Hey, a lot of girls are cute when they put that stuff on. Just saying, but I know I can't stand girls who spend 50$ on it a week. I need a wife who is just honorable, loyal, and honest. Other then that, I don't care. Unless she tries to kill me in my sleep, then I might have a problem.

**Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн** · 07-26-2009

I was just thinking. I'm hoping that people here are also the way they expect their future wife/husband to be, otherwise it's kinda hypocritical. Let's examine ourselves

**GuestFellow** · 07-26-2009

Originally Posted by Light of Heaven

Let's examine ourselves

Hmmm

I can be quite boring and moody. I got an awful memory and awful listening skills. Yeah I need to work on that.

:/

Originally Posted by Clover

Hey Hey Hey, a lot of girls are cute when they put that stuff on.

Not when they paint their face with red and blue or put glitter on their eyes and face..... O.o

**Clover** · 07-26-2009

Originally Posted by Guestfellow

Not when they paint their face with red and blue or put glitter on their eyes and face..... O.o

Lack of taste

**Muhaba** · 07-27-2009

I don't want a guy who doesn't have or won't grow a beard, who isn't practicing, who isn't educated, who has a haraam job and isn't willing to change it, who doesn't want children, who yells a lot (I can't stand yelling), who isn't good-looking or at least average-looking.

i forgot to add: who gets angry fast, who starts hitting ppl, etc.

**Salahudeen** · 07-27-2009

I forgot to add

9. If she smoked cigarettes
10. If she smoked sheesha
11. If she knew more about bollywood than Islam (very much the case now days)

12. If she talked in a fake stuck up posh voice that wasn't her real voice

12 really anoys me there's this girl in my class and whenever she talks in her fake posh (stuck up voice) I get soo anoyed I don't know why I feel like hitting something out of anoyance :S lol it's jus so irritating comes across all arroganty

**KiWi** · 07-27-2009

i wouldnt want a guy who...
~doesnt practice islam
~is rude to his parents/family (especially to his mother)
~is disloyal
~is a liar
~is a cheater
~is disrespectful
~uses violence to get his point across (I CANNOT STAND GUYS WHO ACT LIKE THEY ARE MACHO MAN!!

)
~doesnt have beard (this doesnt apply if he's unable to grow it..there're actually brothers out there who wants to grow beard but cant)
~likes free mixing
~smokes
~drinks
~eats pork (yuk!!

)

so basically the main one is not practicing islam
i think if he was a good practicing muslim...he wouldnt fall into the rest of the categories on the list
he'd know wats rite n wrong
n he would keep himself from haram

that's all for now