disclipine for early toddlers

**mammyluty** · 10-04-2010

asalam alaikum
i have a 16months old son who starting to show some acting out and tantrums.hes been a good boy mashallah for the past months since he was born.but now its a bit diffrent he throws himself on the floor if i take something away from him,he cries and gags to vomit.during meal times its war.i know its a normal process of growing up but i dont want it to become a habbit cos i fear it might.hes brother is just three weeks old.could these be jeaolasy or seeking attention,or feeling left out?

any ideas as to how i can control those tantrums or how to deal with them?

**forevermm** · 10-13-2010

Salamu alaikum Sister,

I know your son is young but there are two methods which I have observed to be very effective. The first is to ignore the tantrum and let the child cry until he stops. He learns quickly that you will not pander to him. The second I have never tried but often thought to be a good idea for older kids 3 and up which is time out...I don't think this would work for you son at this age.

I know its hard to see the little one cry I always turn my back because my eyes fill with tears to see a little one cry but sometimes we have to do things that are hard to make sure they grow up right.

**nousername** · 10-13-2010

this is totally normal behavior for a child his age. just please don't resort to slapping or hitting him because he does not have a sense of cause and effect and won't understand why you are disciplining him.

**forevermm** · 10-13-2010

Originally Posted by nousername

this is totally normal behavior for a child his age. just please don't resort to slapping or hitting him because he does not have a sense of cause and effect and won't understand why you are disciplining him.

I second what sister nousername says...hitting is not an answer to anything. Children are quite intelligent and if you discipline from a young age appropriately you can talk to them in a manner which they will understand what is and is not appropriate...When children are young they go through a phase which some refer to as the terrible 2s and 3s (not necessarily started at this age) this is when they learn to say no or that depending on how they behave they will get there way. My friend who has an older children never rewarded temper tantrums and she has the most well behaved boy and girl Mash'allah that I have ever seen. I'm modeling my up bringing of my kids after her. At 3 her son when she tells him no more than once he knows he has to go to his time out chair and sit for a while until he can apologize for misbehaving.

**أحمد** · 10-19-2010

Disciplinary action is only taken against someone who understands its purpose.

**julie sarri** · 10-22-2010

I am in the same situation with my 14 month of twins my son will scream and cry until he turns blue lol so the best thing i have found is to ignore him and he stops sooner the trouble is he fights with his sister over every toy even if they both have the same one

**mammyluty** · 10-22-2010

i think am panicking the fact that am scared of him being out of control and not knowing wat to do makes me anxious!now i just ignore him wen he starts his tantrums n when i say NO or DONT DO IT i say it with a firm voice not like before i used to say with a bit of anger.i have to say it though without his tantrums i find the house boring.so am enjoying it too.

**mwaraitch** · 01-14-2011

One just needs to approach the issue in as simplistic manner as possible. One would tend to be very sensitive with first child and learn / adjust with next children. You cannot and should not be changing yourself and thinking too much of child psychology etc. Its fun and blessing to have children, so try to enjoy having them. Normal response of any one having simple sense are good enough to decide what to do. Do not try to go much beyond that.
Have fun and enjoy, the days will pass very quick, so try to extract maximum happiness out of it.

**Ummu Sufyaan** · 01-15-2011

i find that eye contact really helps in calming children down. so stare him straight in the eye and in a firm but kind tone, tell him to clam down. it may not work at first with all the kicking and screaming, but be persistent and inshallah he should come around.

when you see him respond, just explain to him that that behavior is a no-no just so that he knows what he is actually in trouble for and inshallah he wont repeat it in future. or ask him what the matter actually is.

ignoring him could work. when children are throwing unnecessary tantrums (as opposed to them crying, etc because they hurt themselves), sometimes they should be ignored because the more attention you give them (even if its just trying to discipline them) they get worse. so i guess you have to find out hte reason why he is throwing the tantrum to begin in in order to come up with the most effective solution.

another thing i can think of to calm him down is to make a "deal" with him. what i mean is, is that him throwing a tantrum he is expecting that someone is going to listen to him and so what you could do here is tell him that you arent going to talk to him until he clams down.

**MartyrX** · 02-24-2011

I always found that ignoring them at that age was best. When my son starts to throw fits, I just walk way from him and ignore him. He comes out of it and is fine after a few minutes.