The Marriage Thread

[Getoffmyback]

how much are you planning to spend on your wedding?


Edit by Rashad: Important Note! Excuse my intrusion upon your post, Getoffmyback. Just wanted to make a quick announcement lol. This thread is for anything related to marriage. I will personally strictly moderate this thread to ensure that nothing un-Halaal is being discussed. Keep jokes the minimum and restrict them to the gender appropriate sections. Depending on the results of this thread, we MAY open a MARRIAGE FORUM! *drumroll* ... or shall I say *duff-roll* ?

[CosmicPathos]

$500? Nothing more. Excluding the mahr.

[Getoffmyback]

$500? Nothing more. Excluding the mahr.

u gonna need a verry good sister then.

[CosmicPathos]

u gonna need a verry good sister then.

lol i know. Also good in-laws who are not cultural minded with love for Hindu traditions. I can avoid that though if I can get a non-desi wife . And I do deserve that may Allah make it easy for all unmarried religious brothers and sisters who have a desire. A brother was worried that he need to collect up $50,000 if he wants to be married and I was just in shock.

[Life_Is_Short]

£100?

[Getoffmyback]

£100?

What ! You never attended a wedding . The sheikh costs more than 100 Quid

[جوري]

weddings are so overrated and I suspect if you ask some sister separately they'll tell you that the wedding is more for the family and friends than the bride..
my sister showed up two hours late to her own wedding because she was working that day.. my brother didn't have a wedding at all.. and I personally don't like the idea of feeding a bunch of gawkers for what is supposed to be a special day for two..
The ideas of weddings appalls me were it not for the remote religious factor associated with them I'd think that having the contract in front of the needed witnesses should be all there is.. I give you the assurance that if women are asked, they'd prefer the money go toward a nice honeymoon or something in the house than a 4-6 hour gathering..

of course I am not familiar with all cultures here .. I was surprised enough to learn that indian/paki brides have to live with their in laws.. in such a case I can understand their desire for a large wedding, for what else is there to look forward to I am being mean but anyhow surveying the women that I know the majority if not in totality none care for large ceremonies..

spend it on a nice ring and a honeymoon and be good to your women..

[Italianguy]

Well...my wedding was huge. But keep in mind It was an Italian and Indian wedding. I had 170 family members and friends (Italian side) my wife had 440 family memebers and friends (Indian side) the wedding lasted 3 days. We had guests come in from Italy and India.....we couldn't just do a 6 hour wedding.

The wedding party had 26 people. 13 brides mades and 13 groomesmen. We had 4 flower girls and 2 ring bearers, 10 ushers.

The actuall wedding took two hours (ceremony) We had an organist, two violinists and some one playing a harp....I know ,the harp was a little weird, i thought it was weird too.

The Mehndi, wich took place the night before took 6 hours, the reception....2.5 days.... My wife changed into 14 diffrerent saris and i changed into 5 different Sherwani's.

We had 7 diferent entertainers, and my wife and I put on a boolywood type show for her family

Mehndi=$ 5,880.00

Ceremony= $ 10,290.00

Reception (Includes all clothing, her sari's ect.ect everythng)= $29,112.20

Rings= $ 28,000.00 (in a security box at bank) She wears a smal one for day to day stuff.

Total= $ 73,282.20 ( good thing her dad is a doctor)

Being married to the most beautiful and awesome woman in the world.= PRICELESS


Honey moon= Havent taken one yet! We are supposed to go to India for 3 weeks, then Italy for 3 weeks.....When, we don't know?

[Malaikah]

$500? Nothing more. Excluding the mahr.

Unless you have a tiny family, that will hardly cover the cost of the food.

[Beardo]

Interesting question.

Minimal as possible for the extravagances. But otherwise, I want to invite everyone I know.

You guys mentioned 100 pounds etc, but to feed a meal per person here in America, MINIMUM is $11 a head. Room rent is an additional cost.

I don't want centerpieces and what have you. I just want an occasion which is comfortable with food, tables, and chairs for all. Nobody shall be left out, and especially, no "Mr & Mrs" business. What's fair for one is fair for all.

Realistically speaking, it'll probably be a few thousand dollars.

And it being a once in a lifetime experience (for the most of us), I don't want any regrets from my beautiful/smart/intelligent/pious/all-rounded, good, all praiseworthy traits... future wife (insha'Allah), my family, or anyone to have any regrets.

[Beardo]

I'm not sure if this is allowed to be posted according to IB rules and regulations, but here's my observations of the topic of marriage in this day and age.

It's definitely a hot topic. Marriage Seminars attract a lot of people. You'll notice on IB alone how thriving those threads regarding marriage are.

Yet, people take it lightly.

I may be a bit young, but that shouldn't mean I shouldn't talk about marriage.

Like my teacher was asking me my plan of my life. So I mentioned a few goals I have in mind, and then I mentioned "And then I also want to get married." That's when my teacher and the students around started laughing. I mean, really, it's something that should be kept in mind. You don't want to be stepping into the wrong path.

At any rate, I also think it's important to get married young. Not too young. You should have a degree or some financial and educational background first. Whether you admit it or not, marriage may pull you down.

My teacher, Mufti Ridwan Ahmed, said that marriage is like an anchor. ... And a child is another anchor.

So yeah. That's all I got to say.

[Italianguy]

Unless you have a tiny family, that will hardly cover the cost of the food.

That won't even cover the table cloths....for the food to sit on

But if he can pull it off, he will be the next great weding planner

[Beardo]

You have to think realistically. It's impressive to see so many people on here who understand the value of a simple wedding though. But 100 pounds, $500... Won't cut it lol. Good luck finding a spouse with that budget. ...Wait. I take that back. That sounded like an old unkil joke.

Speaking of weddings... My friend told me his neighbor had a wedding... They spent like $350,000.

I Was like. WHAT?! Give me that money in cash and I could live years off of it.

[Italianguy]

You have to think realistically. It's impressive to see so many people on here who understand the value of a simple wedding though. But 100 pounds, $500... Won't cut it lol. Good luck finding a spouse with that budget. ...Wait. I take that back. That sounded like an old unkil joke.

Speaking of weddings... My friend told me his neighbor had a wedding... They spent like $350,000.

I Was like. WHAT?! Give me that money in cash and I could live years off of it.

$350,000.00 !!!!!!!!!!! I thought mine was expensive at just over $73,000.00......their cake probably cost that much

[CosmicPathos]

The nikah ceremony should not cost much. You basically contact the masjid imam and ask him to arrange for you a time at which he can read the nikah. You invite friends and close family to nikah. It should not cost that much.

Waleema, you invite friends to your favorite restaurant and you can be done under $500 with good food. Buffet plans

lol.

@ skye: Regarding paki/indian brides living with parents, yes, its sort of a culture and the tradition is called Rukhsati. Of course I disagree with all these traditions as they have been borrowed from India.

I discussed this out with my mom. She does not care if her sons' wives live with her or not but she expects her sons to live with her and her husband. And that is the right thing to do. They looked after me 24/7 when I was a weakling. I have to look after them when they are old.

[Beardo]

The nikah ceremony should not cost much. You basically contact the masjid imam and ask him to arrange for you a time at which he can read the nikah. You invite friends and close family to nikah. It should not cost that much.

Waleema, you invite friends to your favorite restaurant and you can be done under $500 with good food. Buffet plans

lol.

The Nikkah ceremony could be within $100. Just make some goody bags with your family and done.

Waleemah... $500? That's not realistic, unless you're inviting like 50 people, that's without the room. You'll be having your waleemah in a public setting...

I personally want my Waleemah in a community center or some decent area. Women in one room, men in one room. Have it organized, fun, Halaal, and so forth.

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Point of the thread is....

"It's OK to talk about marriage."

Correct? lol

Indeed it is! Whether I'm right or not Yeaa but I dunno why people think it's so darn funny when one mentions it or in my case by my MOM saying..."shameful."

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

I don't know :S But it should be as simple as POSSIBLE lol inshaAllah...

500 bucks will barely cover....lol.

[Vito]

I don't plan on spending much or even having a party to be honest. I'd rather use that money we would of spent, on a trip for the two of us for a week or two. If anything, I'd rather just have a family get together and have dinner or something at my place. Keep it old fashion. I'll make sure that is the first thing I mention to her so that way I don't waste any of her time. Either she will stay or she will go

[CosmicPathos]

The Nikkah ceremony could be within $100. Just make some goody bags with your family and done.

Waleemah... $500? That's not realistic, unless you're inviting like 50 people, that's without the room. You'll be having your waleemah in a public setting...

I personally want my Waleemah in a community center or some decent area. Women in one room, men in one room. Have it organized, fun, Halaal, and so forth.

of course then it will cost more than just $500. More fun needs more money.