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How can single women get the same rewards as those married ??

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    Question How can single women get the same rewards as those married ?? (OP)


    How can single women get the same rewards as those married ??


    A while ago a sister mentioned reading a hadith which stated a married woman who even quenches her husband's thirst earns so much reward, I know theres great reward in *looking after a husband* etc so how can singletons get equal rewards apart from the obvious salah, charity etc. Also has anyone else heard of this hadith ? Im unable to locate it or find any reference to its authenticity ? as is the sister that mentioned it to me.




    For the more *mature single sisters* out there or those sisters whom marriage is no longer an option or not happening as soon as they would like, i would like to ask how do you plan to fill your life and the time you have ?? Married sisters after weddings, usually look forward to the new home, starting a family, travelling etc, and their lifes are mapped out as soon as they've done the nikkah but what about the rest of the singletons ? how can we earn equal rewards firstly and secondly how can you have a life, esp if you've no mehram ? as it seems to be the only way women can have one is to have a husband hanging off their arms, be it either to raise a family, (even if adopting) go travelling or even doing pilgrimage ??

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    Re: How can single women get the same rewards as those married ??

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    Wa iyaki. (:

    I always believe there will be a struggle in everything, and the reason for that is so that we don't get too attached to dunyaa. I also believe happiness is temporary and is a blessing from allah when you feel it, but contentment is by our choice depending on what we choose to do in life.

    There are some nice, pious brothers who want to get married and they work hard to preserve their chastity and busy themselves with good, and same for the sisters too, and still it is difficult for them to find a good spouse. I think this in itself will bring a great reward from Allah for their patience and perseverance. Just the same, those who are kindest to their spouse after a few years of marriage and knowing each other's routines are also tested by how they continue to treat each other after some feelings may change (due to whatever reason). In regards to the youth, young pious mu'mineen will be rewarded with the shade of allah on the day of judgement for taking advantage of their youth instead of messing around, which is very difficult to do! I pray that everyone who seeks to perfect their iman while they are healthy and young will be protected with Allah's shade on the day of qiyama and be rewarded with much more ameen. In regards to the married couples, Allah says:

    “and live with them (wives) honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allaah brings through it a great deal of good” [al-Nisa’ 4:19]

    and the prophet muhammed (sallahu alahi wasalaam) said: “The best of you are those who are the best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.(I heard in a lecture that the reason he said wives is because it is very easy to get mistreat the person you live with and constantly see every single day, you may even fall out of love with them, so if you can treat this person well, then you are one of the best).

    May allah increase the kindess and love between married couples, and increase His mercy upon them ameen

    Sorry I feel I posted to much lol.

    fi aman allah
    w'salaam
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    Re: How can single women get the same rewards as those married ??



    First of all jzk for all the replies, but ive not really got an answer for my question. ? Having intention is all good and well but sometimes a person needs to be realistic as well but anyway, but apart from the obvious things that we all as muslims shud do charity/learning/worship etc, how does an unmarried woman lead a normal life ?? If i want to go on holiday i need a mehram ? what do other women do in that situation still go ?? or tie themselves to their homes ?? Same thing if you wana go to a lecture thats only a bus ride away, but cos its finishing late, and you dont have a bloke tied to your arm, its dangerous ?? If a woman wants to adopt a child, in most muslim countries single people cant ? why ?? Im asking the sisters this question. How do you lead a normal life & have the same things a married woman can have minus the husband ?? i.e. adopt a child etc.
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    Re: How can single women get the same rewards as those married ??

    format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim View Post
    I recall reading a saying of a sahabi who said that even if he was to die the next day he would marry.

    I think the sahabi is Abdullah Ibn Masud but my memory may not be correct.
    "If I had ten days left to live and I knew I would die by the end of them, and I had enough time to get married, I would get married for fear of temptation (Fitnah)"

    'Abdullah bin Mas'ud
    How can single women get the same rewards as those married ??

    فبايالاءربكماتكزبن
    "Then which of the favours of Your Lord will ye deny?"
    Al-Qur'aan; Surah Ar-Rahman


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    Re: How can single women get the same rewards as those married ??

    Assalamu Alaikum


    Sorry I guess many misunderstood your question in the beginning.

    format_quote Originally Posted by nature View Post
    how does an unmarried woman lead a normal life ?? If i want to go on holiday i need a mehram ? what do other women do in that situation still go ?? or tie themselves to their homes ??
    Go with your family, brother, father, a group of trusted girlfriends or female cousins. Why feel tied to your home? You still have a lot of options. If you can't find a halal way then home is better than travelling alone and you should be content with that because that is what pleases Allah most.


    format_quote Originally Posted by nature View Post
    Same thing if you wana go to a lecture thats only a bus ride away, but cos its finishing late, and you dont have a bloke tied to your arm, its dangerous ??
    There's many cases where women go out alone and that's the last time their family sees them. You can find ways to watch or listen to lectures online, or like I mentioned before, go with a group of girls or a close family member.

    format_quote Originally Posted by nature View Post
    If a woman wants to adopt a child, in most muslim countries single people cant ? why ??
    I don't know about other muslim countries' rulings in regards to adoption, but adoption itself is something you should read more into as there are Islamic rulings to this regardless of what a country allows or disallows.

    Why do you feel you have to do everything alone, especially unsafe things like coming home really late at night, or travelling on a holiday? This is unsafe for women generally, not only because you are a muslim.

    fi aman allah
    w'salaam
    How can single women get the same rewards as those married ??

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    Re: How can single women get the same rewards as those married ??

    How can single women get the same rewards as those married
    Marriage has its own rewards, just like hajj, salah, fasting etc. have their own.

    To my knowledge there isn't anything mentioned in the hadith or Qur'aan about unmarried people being able to gain the same reward as married ones (e.g. as in the same way certain actions are worth the reward of Hajj).

    However, actions are by intention. If you intend to get married and never lose hope, trust in Allah and try your best to achieve it then inshaAllah there will be some level of reward gained.

    If you feel you will never get married then you need to trust in Allah more.

    If i want to go on holiday i need a mehram ? what do other women do in that situation still go ?? or tie themselves to their homes ?? Same thing if you wana go to a lecture thats only a bus ride away, but cos its finishing late, and you dont have a bloke tied to your arm, its dangerous ?? If a woman wants to adopt a child, in most muslim countries single people cant ?
    Not going on holiday if you don't have a mahram, not going to a lecture even though it's an Islamic one due to absence of mahram, situations like these are a chance for you to gain reward as you'd be following the Islamic law. If you went anyway, you'd be earning sin (regardless of whether it's an Islamic lecture etc.). It's kind of like the rule of women not being able to pray during their time of the month. If you follow that rule, regardless of how much you desire to pray, you'd be gaining reward (and sin, if you do the reverse).
    Last edited by Alpha Dude; 03-03-2013 at 08:59 PM.
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    Re: How can single women get the same rewards as those married ??

    format_quote Originally Posted by nature View Post


    First of all jzk for all the replies, but ive not really got an answer for my question. ? Having intention is all good and well but sometimes a person needs to be realistic as well but anyway, but apart from the obvious things that we all as muslims shud do charity/learning/worship etc, how does an unmarried woman lead a normal life ?? If i want to go on holiday i need a mehram ? what do other women do in that situation still go ?? or tie themselves to their homes ?? Same thing if you wana go to a lecture thats only a bus ride away, but cos its finishing late, and you dont have a bloke tied to your arm, its dangerous ?? If a woman wants to adopt a child, in most muslim countries single people cant ? why ?? Im asking the sisters this question. How do you lead a normal life & have the same things a married woman can have minus the husband ?? i.e. adopt a child etc.
    Wa-aalikumsalam,

    Sister, Allah (subhanawat'aala) has created us, having to face different trials in our lives. Some are tested in their health, some in wealth, others in loss of freedom, lives and many other types of difficulties.

    If, for whatever reason, you are unable to marry (despite your desire to do so), then my sister, view this as a test from Allah Taa'la.
    As well as the challenges you may face, whilst journeying on alone....

    It may be, that you will not be able to travel beyond the permissible distances (without a mahram).
    Perhaps it may not be possible for you to undertake hajj/ umrah as a result.
    It may also be such, that it is not possible for you to adopt a child (depending on where you reside - based on the rules of that country).

    Sister, these are all means of Allah azza wajjal testing you - he places certain hardships/ difficulties in our lives, to try us and see who from among his servants will bear these trials with patience and implicit trust in Him.

    Allah Taa'la ONLY desires good for His creation.
    If we believe and internalise this completely, then we will never doubt that His plan for our lives is ALWAYS the best plan.

    And if we intend to live our lives, solely for the pleasure of Allah, then the 'sacrifices' (which are truly, not really sacrifices) that we make in this temporary abode become so much easier to endure.

    When we realise that travelling for certain distances, will be going against the commands of our Rabb, and will be causing His displeasure......then we will not even consider embarking on such a trip, no matter the reason or our own desires.

    For most muslims, abstaining from alcohol/ pork, etc is very easy.
    Because we realise that these actions are haraam and will encur the displeasure of Allah (subhana wata'ala).

    In the same way, we should treat all other commands of Allah and His messenger (sallalahu alaihi wasalam).

    Because, His pleasure should precede our own desires and nafs.
    His pleasure should be OUR pleasure.
    And His displeasure should be OUR displeasure.


    May Allah azza wajjal make this period in your life, easy on you. And may it be the means of you turning to Him, seeking from His endless treasures.
    Ameen

    How can single women get the same rewards as those married ??




    يَا مُقَلِّبَ الْقُلُوبِ ثَبِّتْ قَلْبِى عَلَى دِينِكَ

    Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, Thabbit Qalbi Ala Deenik
    "Oh Turner of Hearts, keep my heart firm on Your Deen."



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    Re: How can single women get the same rewards as those married ??

    format_quote Originally Posted by *charisma* View Post
    Assalamu Alaikum


    There's many cases where women go out alone and that's the last time their family sees them. You can find ways to watch or listen to lectures online, or like I mentioned before, go with a group of girls or a close family member.
    Why do you feel you have to do everything alone, especially unsafe things like coming home really late at night, or travelling on a holiday? This is unsafe for women generally, not only because you are a muslim.
    My sister, Im sorry, living in fear isnt a feasible option either! If you lived life like that, you wouldnt do anything. Fearing you might not come back home one day, isnt a way to live your life. Im just asking a general question, back in the day, women werent allowed to travel however its not the same these days. Women have to work, if you feared going out how would you provide for yourself ? Why is going on holiday unsafe ? yes you can do everything from the comforts of your own home, but does that mean you have to stay chained to your home ? I dont think so, thats why women have hijab. Suffocating yourself within your home, for fear of "something bad happening " Im sorry i just dont get.
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    Re: How can single women get the same rewards as those married ??

    format_quote Originally Posted by ~Zaria~ View Post
    Wa-aalikumsalam,

    When we realise that travelling for certain distances, will be going against the commands of our Rabb, and will be causing His displeasure......then we will not even consider embarking on such a trip, no matter the reason or our own desires.
    For most muslims, abstaining from alcohol/ pork, etc is very easy.
    Because we realise that these actions are haraam and will encur the displeasure of Allah (subhana wata'ala).
    Im aware of all this, but it seems "being chained to your home " is the only option for single sisters. Im not talking about following desires, more having the same as what married folk have but within halal means. Going to a lecture, where you can assocaite with other sisters, going on a bus to get there i honestly cant see anything wrong with it, esp as travelling alone isnt like it was back in the day. Just cos a person doesnt have a butch bloke attached to their arm, doesnt mean they cant " have a life " also within halal means.
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    Re: How can single women get the same rewards as those married ??

    Assalamu Alaikum

    format_quote Originally Posted by nature View Post
    My sister, Im sorry, living in fear isnt a feasible option either! If you lived life like that, you wouldnt do anything. Fearing you might not come back home one day, isnt a way to live your life. Im just asking a general question, back in the day, women werent allowed to travel however its not the same these days. Women have to work, if you feared going out how would you provide for yourself ? Why is going on holiday unsafe ? yes you can do everything from the comforts of your own home, but does that mean you have to stay chained to your home ? I dont think so, thats why women have hijab. Suffocating yourself within your home, for fear of "something bad happening " Im sorry i just dont get.
    It's not about living in fear, it's about being cautious and protecting yourself. It's possible to go out alone and not have anything bad happen to you, but it's not Islamic to do so. You don't have to do everything late at night or alone. I don't even know how you can see this as being "chained" when there are more things you can do when you're not alone and during the day or evening lol. Even if you're married, there's going to be times where your husband is not going to be available to take you wherever/whenever you want to go or be with you 24/7. If he says you can't go somewhere or do something, you have to obey him. So the reality doesn't differ either way, it's your mentality and attitude towards this that you need to reflect more upon. Instead of looking at the one option that would displease Allah, why not look at the options where you will reach your goal in a halal manner?

    I hardly ever felt like I was "chained" before marriage. If I was out late or went far, I always had someone with me, always had my phone on me, always made sure my parents knew where I was going and when they should expect me back home, and would call them before I left and on my way home. And I preferred it this way because it was more fun to be out with someone, made my parents trust me and not worry if I was out too late, and no one ever bothered me, but maybe my personal circumstances differed from yours. I could have went out and did whatever I wanted alone and my parents wouldn't have minded, but I didn't because I never felt the need to, and if they told me I couldn't go out and do something, I was ok with it. It was never a big deal to me.

    fi aman Allah
    w'salaam
    How can single women get the same rewards as those married ??

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    Re: How can single women get the same rewards as those married ??

    most married people don't see it this way, to most marriage is a burden
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    Re: How can single women get the same rewards as those married ??

    format_quote Originally Posted by Paprika View Post
    most married people don't see it this way, to most marriage is a burden
    I wouldn't use the word "burden" :P but good point.

    Marriage has more responsibilities, especially on the woman because she becomes a wife and has to take care of her husband, and then a mother if she has children. She might not even have time for herself and most definitely won't always be able to travel far or stay out late and enjoy it.

    fi aman Allah
    w'salaam
    How can single women get the same rewards as those married ??

    D e a t h

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    Re: How can single women get the same rewards as those married ??

    format_quote Originally Posted by *charisma* View Post
    I wouldn't use the word "burden" :P but good point.

    Marriage has more responsibilities, especially on the woman because she becomes a wife and has to take care of her husband, and then a mother if she has children. She might not even have time for herself and most definitely won't always be able to travel far or stay out late and enjoy it.

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    Prolly, but if I was not married I would have been a beach bum....:awesome:
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    Re: How can single women get the same rewards as those married ??

    single women have more time to do other good deeds such as da'wah work, community service, even earning rizq halal. they can fast a lot and pray all night. or they can learn the deen and teach others. they can study the Quran and do hifz. there are lots of ways for single sisters to earn rewards. even patience for not being married will earn us rewards.
    on the other hand, married sisters' hands are tied caring for the husband and children, doing housework, not being to do much during pregnancy, etc. ahadith such as the one quoted show the rewards we can earn in each stage in life. Every good deed we do will earn us rewards and refraining from bad deeds also earn us rewards. These ahadith keep us from feeling left out at any stage in our life since each stage is very precious and important. for example, the married sister and mothers may not be able to pray or fast as much, may not be able to go to the masjid as much, may not be able to do da'wah work as much. Part of her time is occupied caring for her husband, taking care of her children, pregnancy, in-laws, etc. Such a sister may feel that she is deprived of rewards while the single sister can earn so much more rewards. For the married sister there are then ahadith such as (a woman getting up in the middle of the night to take care of her baby gets the reward of freeing 70 slaves) etc. So upon hearing such ahadith, the married sister won't feel left out. nor will the unmarried / single sister feel left out because she has time to do so much islamic work and community work, earn halal rizq, care for her parents, etc. All these earn her rewards.

    The important thing is to use your time and abilities in righteous deeds and refrain from wasting time. if a sister (or brother) married or unmarried spends time watching TV and listening to music instead of learning and teach the religion, raise their children secular or nonpracticing instead of practicing muslims, they earn sins instead of rewards. So try to fill your time with good deeds and there are plenty of ways whether you are married or not.
    Last edited by Muhaba; 03-05-2013 at 04:15 PM.
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