adopted / illegitimate child

Hi pipay & back.. did you give your baby up for adoption?
did you convert to Islam?

i didnt give my baby for adoption. i was just curious. bec in my country, some couples who was not given a chance to become parents sue to some medical reason are adopting babies. just wondering if it is happening to muslim people.

i didnt convert to islam yet, i want to be mentally, emotionally and spiritually prepared for it.

Pipay I am really glad you didn't give your baby up - it breaks my heart to see anyone give up their child. It isn't natural and any society that forces a mother to do so is a guilty and ugly as sin. I am not quite sure I understand what you meant by the comment above with regards to adoption I want to tell you that Islam prohibits adoption but encourages foster ship - we are not allowed to take away other people's children erase their memories of their parents and claim them as our own No! But we're allowed to foster them and treat them like our own children!

Pipay Islam erases what happened before and you'd start fresh may I suggest you visit a mosques and ask what your rights would be in Islam and forget about the man who's neglecting you and his child. His judgment and punishment lies with Allah but pipay as bad as your situation is you were truly gifted with a child and may he grow up pious and a strong shoulder to you.
See if you can move away from the place where you're ask Allah for true guidance from your heart and to open for you doors from his mercy. People only ever close the doors in our face and hurt us I don't quite understand why myself - they're far removed from the qualities of mercy and from being human that they wouldn't recognize good if it dropped on them like a ton of bricks. And they waste life and youth and sever contacts with their loved ones I am not quite sure I understand why myself or what they deem more important.
Prioritize yourself pipay what's more important to you and I think you already know.
Walk in the light of God and take your child by the hand and close the chapter on a very bad book and start a new one!

Wishing you all the best,

format_quote Originally Posted by شَادِنُ

Pipay I am really glad you didn't give your baby up - it breaks my heart to see anyone give up their child.

I'm sorry, so you are saying people who give their baby up for adoption are wrong? They shouldn't help people who cannot have kids?

That's the most disgusting statement I've heard all day. May Allaah guide your heart.

format_quote Originally Posted by Muj4h1d4~

I'm sorry, so you are saying people who give their baby up for adoption are wrong? They shouldn't help people who cannot have kids?

That's the most disgusting statement I've heard all day. May Allaah guide your heart.

Yes there's no adoption in Islam, that's correct however you're able to have foster children in Islam. If that is disgusting to you then you're directly objecting to the laws of Allah not the laws of me and for that indeed may he guide your heart!

best,

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) once said that a person who cares for an orphaned child will be in Paradise with him, and motioned to show that they would be as close as two fingers of a single hand. An orphan himself, Muhammad paid special attention to the care of children. He himself adopted a former slave and raised him with the same care as if he were his own son.
However, the Qur'an gives specific rules about the legal relationship between a child and his/her adoptive family. The child's biological family is never hidden; their ties to the child are never severed. The Qur'an specifically reminds adoptive parents that they are not the child's biological parents:
"...Nor has He made your adopted sons your (biological) sons. Such is (only) your (manner of) speech by your mouths. But Allah tells (you) the Truth, and He shows the (right) Way. Call them by (the names of) their fathers; that is juster in the sight of Allah. But if you know not their father's (names, call them) your brothers in faith, or your trustees. But there is no blame on you if you make a mistake therein. (What counts is) the intention of your hearts. And Allah is Oft-Returning, Most Merciful."
(Qur'an 33:4-5)
The guardian/child relationship has specific rules under Islamic law, which render the relationship a bit different than what is common adoption practice today. The Islamic term for what is commonly called adoption is kafala, which comes from a word that means "to feed." In essence, it describes more of a foster-parent relationship. Some of the rules in Islam surrounding this relationship:

• An adopted child retains his or her own biological family name (surname) and does not change his or her name to match that of the adoptive family.
• An adopted child inherits from his or her biological parents, not automatically from the adoptive parents.
• When the child is grown, members of the adoptive family are not considered blood relatives, and are therefore not muhrim to him or her. "Muhrim" refers to a specific legal relationship that regulates marriage and other aspects of life. Essentially, members of the adoptive family would be permissible as possible marriage partners, and rules of modesty exist between the grown child and adoptive family members of the opposite sex.
• If the child is provided with property/wealth from the biological family, adoptive parents are commanded to take care and not intermingle that property/wealth with their own. They serve merely as trustees.

These Islamic rules emphasize to the adoptive family that they are not taking the place of the biological family -- they are trustees and caretakers of someone else's child. Their role is very clearly defined, but nevertheless very valued and important.
It is also important to note that in Islam, the extended family network is vast and very strong. It is rare for a child to be completely orphaned, without a single family member to care for him or her. Islam places a great emphasis on the ties of kinship -- a completely abandoned child is practically unheard of. Islamic law would place an emphasis on locating a relative to care for the child, before allowing someone outside of the family, much less the community or country, to adopt and remove the child from his or her familial, cultural, and religious roots. This is especially important during times of war, famine, or economic crisis -- when families may be temporarily uprooted or divided.
"Did He not find you an orphan and give you shelter? And He found you wandering, and He gave you guidance. And He found you in need, and made you independent. Therefore, treat not the orphan with harshness, nor drive away a petitioner (unheard). But the bounty of the Lord - rehearse and proclaim!"
(Qur'an 93:6-11)

http://islam.about.com/cs/parenting/a/adoption.htm

I don't know where you got from that in Islam Adoption isn't allowed. Clearly you are misguided and are misguiding other people! Please do not make such statements, have fear of Allaah in your heart. So many people adopt nowadays because they can't have children. Please don't take their hope away by making such silly statements. Thank you.

format_quote Originally Posted by Muj4h1d4~

I don't know where you got from that in Islam Adoption isn't allowed. Clearly you are misguided and are misguiding other people! Please do not make such statements, have fear of Allaah in your heart. So many people adopt nowadays because they can't have children. Please don't take their hope away by making such silly statements. Thank you.

You're welcome to show me where in Islam 'adoption' is allowed not merely assail with terms like misguided and silly have fear and may Allah guide your heart. Indeed may Allah guide all our hearts, but if you wish to speak then speak from facts not from emotions and if you don't understand the difference between adoption and fostership then there's no shame in asking!
So many people doing something isn't a logical argument.
So many people deal in usury even in the so-called Muslim world if that's the argument you wish to have before God on the day of judgement than that's is a thing to be pitied indeed.. and yes I know many sisters, many many sisters who weren't blessed with children or whose only child died and they couldn't have anymore and many others who never married all together, what is your point?

The kind which is prescribed and may be mustahabb means being kind towards the child and giving him a righteous religious upbringing and sound direction, teaching him that which will benefit him in this world and the next. But it is not permitted to hand a child over except to one who is known to be trustworthy, religiously-committed and of good character, who will take care of the child’s interests. He should also be a local resident, so that he will not take the child away to a country where his presence may be a cause for his religious commitment being lost in the future. If these conditions are met in the case of both the child and the adopting parent, then it is OK to hand over a foundling whose parentage is not known. May Allaah preserve you.

Source: http:// http://islamqa.info/en/ref/10010

format_quote Originally Posted by Muj4h1d4~

The kind which is prescribed and may be mustahabb means being kind towards the child and giving him a righteous religious upbringing and sound direction, teaching him that which will benefit him in this world and the next. But it is not permitted to hand a child over except to one who is known to be trustworthy, religiously-committed and of good character, who will take care of the child’s interests. He should also be a local resident, so that he will not take the child away to a country where his presence may be a cause for his religious commitment being lost in the future. If these conditions are met in the case of both the child and the adopting parent, then it is OK to hand over a foundling whose parentage is not known. May Allaah preserve you.

Source: http:// http://islamqa.info/en/ref/10010


So watch your mouth. Seriously.

Again, if you don't understand the difference between foster-ship & adoption then there's no shame in asking. I have already covered that fostering a child is wonderful thing in Islam and maybe a gateway to paradise here:
http://www.islamicboard.com/family-s...ml#post1562066

You're not allowed to take a child from its mother simply because you deem her a wh0re and 'selfish' or 'career minded' and deserves what she had coming and then in the same breath tell people to watch their mouth or what they're writing is disgusting or whatever. I'd look the other way if you weren't directly abusing the laws of Allah for your personal agenda and then negative rep 'Astghfor Allah' all over people's CP. How much of a hypocrite can one be if you get your views across by verbal abuse & attacks and completely unrelated excerpts that have been already covered in one form or another and merely to save face on a matter you're clearly ignorant of!
As for orphan children or those whose parents are not known, you're still not allowed to name them after you and there are other parts in that average in in terms of inheritance and being a mahram!

best,

Asalaamu Alaikum,

Even though it looks like you're debating, it could be done without the aggressiveness or the insults within posts. Please try to be more respectful to one another when replying.

@OP http://www.islamweb.net/emainpage/in...cles&id=135420
And - http://islamqa.info/en/ref/102037

I haven't been disrespectful & you're welcome to point to me where I've been - one who ridicules the laws of Allah shouldn't be made akin to one who is championing them if we wanted to deal with 'all fairness'!

Allaahu Akbar. Astagfirullah hil Azeem.

being stuck on words ang arguing over it is a wrong thing. It makes no difference whether you call it adoption or fostering. Even in the West lots of non-muslims who adopt kids tell the child from the beginning that he/she is adopted. In Britain, the child even may maintain contact with his/her birth family either through direct contact or letter-box contact (which hides the birth parent/s identity - this is done in case the birth parents were abusive or negligent). It is written in one of their guides that it is best for the child's well-being to let the child know he/she was adopted and even to allow him/her to have some sort of contact with the birth family if possible. So adoption doesnt mean that you taken the child as your own biological child and given him/her your own family name.

The main principles of Islam are that the child doesn't take another's family name. Allah said in Surah Al-Ahzab that the child should be called by his/her father's name and if that is unknown then the child is your brother in Islam (but doesn't become your son/daughter). Another thing is that the child doesn't inherit like one's own children. Other than that, taking orphan or neglected children and caring for them and raising them is a very rewardning thing, as long as you fear Allah and don't mistreat the child or take his/her property, etc. Taking an orphan's property unjustly is a terrible sin.

format_quote Originally Posted by WRITER

being stuck on words ang arguing over it is a wrong thing.

It isn't words when it is a contract we're discussing.
Here's the dictionary definition:
adoption:
(law) a legal proceeding that creates a parent-child relation between persons not related by blood; the adopted child is entitled to all privileges belonging to a natural child of the adoptive parents (including the right to inherit)

____________
if you feel that is in concert with the laws of Islam then I humbly apologize for making the distinction mere word play.

format_quote Originally Posted by ardianto

This law is not universal, sis. In Indonesia, adoption is legal. But special for Muslims, in matters that related to inheritance and guardianship in nikah, they should follow Sharia.

I understand perfectly what you're saying however in Islam it is quite specific, takafful is different than tabbani.

كيف التوفيق بين قوله تعالى ما كان محمد أبا أحد من رجالكم وحديث إن ابني هذا سيد

ar

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السؤال:يقول الله تعالى : (مَا كَانَ مُحَمَّدٌ أَبَا أَحَدٍ مِنْ رِجَالِكُمْ وَلَكِنْ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ وَخَاتَمَ النَّبِيِّينَ وَكَانَ اللَّهُ بِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ عَلِيمًا ) وعند البخاري وغيره يقول صلى الله عليه وسلم في حق الإمام الحسن رضي الله عنه : ( ‏ابني هذا سيد ، ولعل الله أن يصلح به بين فئتين من المسلمين ) سؤالي رعاك الله : هل يصح أن نقول إن الإمام الحسن أو الحسين أبناء النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم لما سبق من قوله صلى الله عليه وسلم ؟ أم إنهم يدخلون في عموم قوله تعالى : ( ما كان محمد أبا أحد من رجالكم . . الآية ) فيما يخص النهي عن التبني بشكل عام ، ويدخل فيه تبني رجل أحدا ليس من صلبه مباشرة ، وإن كان من سلالته وإن نزلت ؟ وهل منزلة البنوة التي أثبتها صلى الله عليه وسلم في الحديث المذكور آنفاً حقيقية أم مجازية؟ وفقكم الله ، وفتح عليكم من واسع فضله وعلمه .


الجواب:
الحمد لله
ليس بين الآية والحديث تعارض والحمد لله ، وإنما يقوم التعارض في ذهن بعض السامعين بسبب عدم تمكنهم من تصور مقصود السياق تصوراً تاما .
فالآية الكريمة إنما تتحدث عن شأن زواج النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم من زينب بعد أن طلقها زيد بن حارثة الذي كان قد تبناه النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قبل تحريم التبني ، فأنزل الله تعالى هذه الآيات الكريمات ليزيل ما قد يقع في قلوب بعض الناس من إنكار زواج النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم من زوجة ابنه بالتبني سابقا ، فذكر عز وجل أن التبني باطل ، وأنه لا تنبني عليه أحكام أبوة النسب الحقيقي ، فقال عز وجل :
(وَإِذْ تَقُولُ لِلَّذِي أَنْعَمَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَأَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيْهِ أَمْسِكْ عَلَيْكَ زَوْجَكَ وَاتَّقِ اللَّهَ وَتُخْفِي فِي نَفْسِكَ مَا اللَّهُ مُبْدِيهِ وَتَخْشَى النَّاسَ وَاللَّهُ أَحَقُّ أَنْ تَخْشَاهُ فَلَمَّا قَضَى زَيْدٌ مِنْهَا وَطَرًا زَوَّجْنَاكَهَا لِكَيْ لَا يَكُونَ عَلَى الْمُؤْمِنِينَ حَرَجٌ فِي أَزْوَاجِ أَدْعِيَائِهِمْ إِذَا قَضَوْا مِنْهُنَّ وَطَرًا وَكَانَ أَمْرُ اللَّهِ مَفْعُولًا (37) مَا كَانَ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ مِنْ حَرَجٍ فِيمَا فَرَضَ اللَّهُ لَهُ سُنَّةَ اللَّهِ فِي الَّذِينَ خَلَوْا مِنْ قَبْلُ وَكَانَ أَمْرُ اللَّهِ قَدَرًا مَقْدُورًا (38) الَّذِينَ يُبَلِّغُونَ رِسَالَاتِ اللَّهِ وَيَخْشَوْنَهُ وَلَا يَخْشَوْنَ أَحَدًا إِلَّا اللَّهَ وَكَفَى بِاللَّهِ حَسِيبًا (39) مَا كَانَ مُحَمَّدٌ أَبَا أَحَدٍ مِنْ رِجَالِكُمْ وَلَكِنْ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ وَخَاتَمَ النَّبِيِّينَ وَكَانَ اللَّهُ بِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ عَلِيمًا ) الأحزاب/37-39.
ومعلوم أنه ولد للنبي صلى الله عليه وسلم أربعة من الأولاد الذكور ، وولد له حفيدان اثنان من ابنته فاطمة رضي الله عنهما ، وليس هؤلاء الأولاد محل إشكال ولم يدخلوا في النفي أصلا ، لأسباب عدة :
1- أن سياق الآيات لا يقصدهم أصلا ، بل يقصد نفي وجود أبوة نسب بين النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم وبين أحد من المسلمين كي لا تنكر قلوبهم زواجه من زينب رضي الله عنها ، ولذلك جاءت الآية بلفظ الخطاب فقال : ( من رجالكم )، فلا يدخل فيه أصلا أبناء النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم .
2- أن أبناءه الذكور صلى الله عليه وسلم ماتوا جميعا قبل بلوغ الحلم ، وهذا من حكمة الله عز وجل ، لما في ذلك من تقرير ختم النبوة بمحمد صلى الله عليه وسلم ، ونفي توهم كون النبوة تنتقل بالوراثة بين الأب وأبنائه ، وأما الحسن والحسين فهما وإن كانا من أحفاده صلى الله عليه وسلم لكنهما لا ينتسبان إليه من جهة الأبوة ، بل ينتسبان إلى أبيهما علي بن أبي طالب رضي الله عنه ، ولذلك كان بقاؤهما أحياء بعد وفاة النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم من حكمة الله عز وجل أيضا ، فلم يدَّعِ أحد لهما النبوة بعد جدهما من أمهما النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم ، فلا تعارض مع نفي أبوة النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم لأحد من رجال المسلمين .
3- ثم إن الآية نفت أبوة النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم الحقيقية لأحد من المسلمين ، وليس الأبوة المجازية ، وأبوة الرجل لأحفاده من جهة ابنته أبوة مجازية ، بل أبوة النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم لسائر المسلمين أبوة مجازية ، وفي تفسير بعض الصحابة لقول الله تعالى : (وأزواجه أمهاتهم ) قال : وهو أب لهم .
وننقل هنا كلام أهل العلم في هذه الآية ، وفي بعضه جواب عن التعارض الذي عرض للسائل الكريم :
قال الحافظ ابن كثير رحمه الله :
" وقوله : ( مَا كَانَ مُحَمَّدٌ أَبَا أَحَدٍ مِنْ رِجَالِكُمْ ) نهى تعالى أن يقال بعد هذا : " زيد بن محمد " أي : لم يكن أباه وإن كان قد تبناه ، فإنه صلوات الله عليه وسلامه لم يعش له ولد ذكر حتى بلغ الحلم ؛ فإنه ولد له القاسم ، والطيب ، والطاهر ، من خديجة ، فماتوا صغارا ، وولد له إبراهيم من مارية القبطية ، فمات أيضا رضيعا ، وكان له من خديجة أربع بنات : زينب ، ورقية ، وأم كلثوم ، وفاطمة ، رضي الله عنهم أجمعين ، فمات في حياته ثلاث ، وتأخرت فاطمة حتى أصيبت به ، صلوات الله وسلامه عليه ، ثم ماتت بعده لستة أشهر " انتهى.
" تفسير القرآن العظيم " (6/428)
ونحوه في " معالم التنزيل " للبغوي (6/358)، و" اللباب " لابن عادل (15/557) .
وقال بهاء الدين ابن قدامة (682هـ) رحمه الله :
" وقول النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم للحسن : ( إن ابني هذا سيد ) – رواه البخاري (2704) - مجاز بالاتفاق ، بدليل قول الله تعالى : ( ما كان محمد أبا أحد من رجالكم ولكن رسول الله ) " انتهى.
" الشرح الكبير " (6/224)
ويقول ابن حجر الهيتمي رحمه الله :
" فقوله تعالى : ( ما كان محمد أبا أحد من رجالكم ) إنما سيق لانقطاع حكم التبني ، لا لمنع هذا الإطلاق المراد به أنه أبو المؤمنين في الاحترام والإكرام " انتهى.
" الصواعق المحرقة " (2/462)
وجاء في " الدرر السنية " (13/368) :
" وسئل أيضا الشيخ عبد الله بن الشيخ عن قوله تعالى : ( مَا كَانَ مُحَمَّدٌ أَبَا أَحَدٍ مِنْ رِجَالِكُمْ ) سورة الأحزاب آية/40 هل هذه الآية قطعت كون رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم والدا للحسن والحسين ، مع ما ورد من الأحاديث الدالة على تسميتهما ابنين له ؟
فأجاب :
سبب نزول الآية يزيل هذا الإشكال ; وذلك أنه ذكر المفسرون : أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم لما تزوج زينب قال الناس : تزوج امرأة ابنه ، وأنزل الله هذه الآية – يعني : زيد بن حارثة – يعني : لم يكن أبا لرجل منكم على الحقيقة ، حتى يثبت بينه وبينه ما يثبت بين الأب وولده من حرمة الصهر والنكاح .
فإن قيل : قد كان له أبناء : القاسم ، والطيب ، والطاهر ، وإبراهيم ، وقال للحسن : ( إن ابني هذا سيد ) ؟
فالجواب : أنهم قد خرجوا من حكم النفي بقوله : ( من رجالكم ) ، وهؤلاء لم يبلغوا مبلغ الرجال .
وأجاب بعضهم : بأنه ليس المقصود أنه لم يكن له ولد فيحتاج إلى الاحتجاج في أمر بنيه بأنهم كانوا ماتوا ، ولا في أمر الحسن والحسين بأنهما كانا طفلين ، وإضافة ( رجالكم ) إلى المخاطبين يخرج من كان من بنيه ، لأنهم رجاله لا رجال المخاطبين " انتهى.
والله أعلم .



الإسلام سؤال وجواب

http://islamqa.info/ar/ref/125443

If words were so easily interchangeable then may I humbly pose the Q. Why does Allah tell us in Suret Al ikhlaas. 'Qul hwa Allah Ahad' instead of 'Qul hwa Allah wahid'- don't they essnentially mean the same thing?

meanings in the dictionary are not final. words have denotations and connotations. The connotation may be completely diffrent from the dicionary meaning. We can see that in Britain the dictionary meaning doesn't exactly apply because the child knows he/she is adopted and may have contact with his/her birth parents. and that's the important thing. you're not allowed to tell the adopted child that you are his/her parent. he/she shuld know that he/she is adopted whether he/she knows his/her real parents or not. Also, it's important that the child doesn't get a part of inheritance, unless the Islamic law allows him/her to get a share or he/she can get it in the 1/3 that one is allowed to give to othrs. (one needs to speak to a schocal about that part). Other than that, the child has t o be taken care of well and not made to feel that he/she is an outsider, etc. Anything that may affect his/her upbringing shuldn't be done.

when we're discussing 'adoption in Islam' there's a clear distinction beween فرق بين التبني و التكفل and that's all there's to it. I don't care for dictionary or English words how the words evolve over time or all discussion therefrom of who thinks what I say is disgusting or vile or whatever. This is the law of Allah and we've a responsibility when it comes to a person who is a non-Muslim asking something specific in islam. We're responsible for the confusion that we create and/or dissemination of the wrong information. Why not use transperancy from the beginning be clear about what it means and of the terminology without making any part of this personal?