Young bro, can you be a good friend?. Can you make your friends happy?. If can, In Shaa Allah, you can be a good husband who can make your wife happy. I myself learned how to be good husband from friendship with my male friends. Yes, male friends.
Maybe you are wonder?. Okay, I reveal something. There is a misunderstanding among men which to make the wife happy, the husband must always praise her with sweet words, must give her flowers everyday, must always show romantic attitude every time. ..... That's in fairy tale. In reality, the wife does not expect her husband to be her admirer. She just expect her husband can be the best friend for her.
So, if you can be the good friend which you and your friend understand each other, support each other. Your friend can feel relax when he with you and laugh together with you. Not hesitate to tell you anything. In Shaa Allah, you can be the best friend for your wife, and make her happy.
Thanks for both about your advices but, without no offence to anyone, I think its more assertive to give advices when you have own experiences about this matter (marriage). That´s why I feel that tips of br adrianto are more useful.
From Occupied Palestine:
We have suffered too much for too long. We will not accept apartheid masked as peace. We will settle for no less than our freedom.
Give her orders in a kind manner, without haughtiness and arrogance
Assalaamu alaikum Farhan,
(twinkle) I'd suggest you replace the word "orders" with "requests". Even small children like to feel respected and dignified. When we order people, we take away people's feelings of sovereignty and self-determination, and ultimately, self-respect. (smile) So generally, I feel it is best to ask nicely. Explain if necessary. And to be prepared for someone to express disagreement, and even to refuse.
(smile) In the long run, this will lead to a healthier home environment, I think.
May Allah, the King, Help us to remember to be humble in our fallibility.
The same thing can make the wife verrrry happy; so, men, learn to say sorry.
The "sorry" that will make the wife happy is not "sorry" which pronounced by the words, but "sorry" from the heart that reflected on the husband willingness to listen to his wife.
When the wife angry to her husband, actually she doesn't want to hear "sorry", because say "sorry" is easy!. What the wife want is her husband understand why she is angry. And the wife will very happy if her husband is willing to listen to her, is willing to understand why she is angry. And the husband willingness to listen to, and understand his wife, is a form of love that he can give to his wife. This is what makes his wife happy.
I'm not married but here is an simple idea. Treat her like a human being. One that feels, that bleeds, and will die. There are too many Christians, Jews, and others that feel an absolute need to control his wife. There are times that doesn't end well.
There are differences between men and women. But both genders are human. So, there are many similarities that even far more than the differences. Man can be sad, can be happy. Woman can be sad, can be happy. Man can angry if you lie. Woman can angry if you lie. Man will be happy if you appreciate his kindness. Woman will be happy if you appreciate her kindness. That's why I said you can learn how to build good relationship with your wife through friendship with your male friends.
Learn to share your happiness with your friend. In example, if your aunty send you delicious food, invite your friend to eat this delicious food. Share your happiness with him and make him happy too. In the future, you will always feel you want to share your happiness with your wife. And when you get income, you will share it with your wife not with feeling as an obligation, but with feeling to make her happy. Your wife can feel it, and it will make her happier than if you give her money with feeling as an obligation.
Of course, there are differences between men and women. You can learn to deal with these difference after you get married. And it will really help if you already know how to build and maintain human-to-human relationship in general.
One thing that you must realize in building a relationship with a woman. Always remember that a woman is a human too, like you, and want to be treated as human too, like you. Do not be influenced by the myths about women that "women are like this, ...... women are like that". Always remember, every human is different, every woman is different too.
The "sorry" that will make the wife happy is not "sorry" which pronounced by the words, but "sorry" from the heart that reflected on the husband willingness to listen to his wife.
^^^
People, listen to bro ardianto: The voice of experience speaking.
Do not ask your wife to become someone that you want, do not tell her what she must do for you. But let her be herself and let her make you happy by her own way. Always appreciate what she does for you.
Really ? Really ?? Why should we do all of that anyway ?
How about you change the topic to "Tips to make your husband happy" It would be wonderful right girls ? lol
Women need to make their husband happy so they can enter paradise This is one of the prophetic command
I would not recommend any man to apologize unless he is convinced he has done wrong. You are the patriarch by the grace of God, it is not her place to disrespect you nor yours to abide disrespect or grovelingly debase yourself. To appease her when she is being petty does neither of you any favours. It might temporarily get her to shut up, but it feeds her nafs. You can work out for yourself what the long-term consequences of that might be.
If you actually have done wrong, that's another matter. Then it's a moral imperative to apologize. But even then, doing so is damage control. It is better not to do wrong in the first place.
When you get married, you learn what makes each other happy. The most important thing is to communicate it. I'm sorry, but sometimes guy can be clueless, and women expect them to know what they want (so they too are clueless in their own way)...one may get upset over what they assume the other should know.
Also many couples, before marriage, don't really take into consideration the temperament of their future spouse. For example, some women prefer to be alone when they're angry to refrain from saying anything they don't mean, and after they cool down they'll talk or even just move on from it. Other women may want their husbands to console them while they're angry, and some women are destructive when they're angry. So know the negatives about your spouse as well as your positives. lol and always keep sweets handy.
A man will never able to understand a woman if he just use his mind because the feeling of a woman cannot be 'read' by mind. This is why I said, do not think to make your wife happy.
The fault of many husbands is they think they know what make their wives happy. They buy expensive handbag, expensive dress, jewelry, for their wives. Their wives indeed smile and say thanks. But in the heart, those wives still less happy because what they expect actually not these luxuries, but attention from their husbands who always busy in making money.
One thing about women that you have to know. A woman can 'lie' and often 'lie'. Not lie in negative meaning, but in the meaning of she hides her true feeling. She can say something that different than what her heart want to say. If you just use your mind, then you will not able hear her "voice of the heart".
How to listen to her "voice of the heart"?. Use your heart too. Train your heart to be able to listen, through train your empathy. If you have strong empathy, then your heart will be sensitive enough to be able to understand what someone feel. If you can understand what your wife feel, then you will know what you should do to make her happy.
Your wife could lie to you. She could smile and say "It's okay" when you apologize because you made a mistake, but in the heart she feel disappointed. She could thanks you and say that she has feel enough with what you have given to her, although in the heart she want to say "Will you buy me a new dress?". This is the importance of ability to listen to your wife's "voice of the heart".
Erm... brothers... why you just don´t ask from your wives what makes them happy? We can tell it directly too. We aren´t that kind of complicated all the time (like some of you sometimes seems to think).
Trust me, I know. I am both a woman and a wife. So I have an insider information about how women are thinking.
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Sign Up
Tips to make your wife happy 
Consult her in your affairs
This is one of the prophetic command 
Hide
Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
Bookmarks