× Register Login What's New! Contact us
Results 1 to 9 of 9 visibility 2266

Marriage Advice

  1. #1
    SarahM's Avatar Limited Member
    brightness_1
    Limited Member
    star_rate
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    4
    Threads
    2
    Rep Power
    0
    Rep Ratio
    148
    Likes Ratio
    25

    Marriage Advice

    Report bad ads?

    Assalamu Alaikum,

    What advice do you have for a Muslim woman who has received two marriage proposals: one from an (apparently) religious man who lives in the West and the other from a comparatively less religious man (from what she does know of the two people) who lives and works in Saudi Arabia. The woman's father passed away some time back and the mother has stated that she would be supportive of the daughter's decision in this matter, although she has indicated a slight preference for the second option (the guy who lives in Saudi Arabia) because he comes from the same family. Since the girl does not communicate with either, she is not sure of the level of religious commitment of the second guy. She knew the first guy in a professional capacity, and overall his character and religiosity are fine (from what she has gathered). On the other hand, she worries about the difficulty in practising Islam completely and freely in the West, and thinks bringing up children (if Allah wills for her to have children) in an Islamic environment, would be easier in Saudi Arabia. However, she has slight doubts about this second person (who lives in Saudi Arabia) because she checked his facebook and he had liked some pages of an inappropriate nature. Is it fair to judge him based solely on his facebook profile? She has prayed istikhara. Do you have any advice for her? Jazakallah khairun.
    chat Quote

  2. Report bad ads?
  3. #2
    eesa the kiwi's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    IB Oldtimer
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    3,945
    Threads
    337
    Rep Power
    63
    Rep Ratio
    28
    Likes Ratio
    35

    Re: Marriage Advice

    the first guys sounds ideal but i do understand your worries about raising children in the west. cant you voice your concerns to him? be like "subhannallah i am interested but i fear for any children raised in the west so i want to make it a condition that if we have kids we emigrate to a muslim country" or something like that

    this is just an opinion so take it or leave it
    allahu alim
    | Likes noraina liked this post
    Marriage Advice

    “Allah gave you a gift of 86,000 seconds today, have you used one to say ‘Alhamdulilah"
    chat Quote

  4. #3
    Bhabha's Avatar
    brightness_1
    I'm on mobile
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Earth
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    792
    Threads
    33
    Rep Power
    50
    Rep Ratio
    28
    Likes Ratio
    78

    Re: Marriage Advice

    Where is the girl from? I think this will also impact the decision.
    | Likes noraina liked this post
    Marriage Advice

    ต( ິᵒ̴̶̷̤ ﻌ ᵒ̴̶̷̤ )ິ ♬

    chat Quote

  5. #4
    Insignificant's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    Full Member
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    54
    Threads
    9
    Rep Power
    48
    Rep Ratio
    127
    Likes Ratio
    145

    Re: Marriage Advice

    ....
    Last edited by Insignificant; 06-03-2016 at 09:41 PM.
    | Likes noraina, Cpt.America liked this post
    chat Quote

  6. Report bad ads?
  7. #5
    noraina's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    * Tawakkul *
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    A small British town
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    2,878
    Threads
    111
    Rep Power
    63
    Rep Ratio
    76
    Likes Ratio
    137

    Re: Marriage Advice

    We don't know the full situation in detail, obviously, and it would be difficult to generalise, but I would suggest she marry the man who's religion and character she knows is sound.

    While Muslim societies do indeed have less fitnah, they are by no means perfect - no country is perfect tbh. And I think what will make a marriage successful is independent of location, or ethnicity, or wealth, it is the character and deen of the couple which will make it a success inshaAllah. It can be hard sometimes in the West, but it isn't that bad, and either way when bringing up children the tarbiyah and values you instil in them will be the same wherever you live.

    If I was making the choice, I would make that decision. Qualities such as character have nothing to do with location - I mean many of us here are Muslims living in the West, and we've turned out okay. Don't rush into anything, do your research, feel confident about your decision, and make lots of dua inshaAllah.
    Last edited by noraina; 06-01-2016 at 10:15 AM.
    | Likes SarahM, Cpt.America liked this post
    Marriage Advice

    Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, Thabbit Qalbi Ala Deenik
    Oh turner of the Hearts make my heart firm on Your Deen


    islamb 1 - Marriage Advice



    chat Quote

  8. #6
    SarahM's Avatar Limited Member
    brightness_1
    Limited Member
    star_rate
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    4
    Threads
    2
    Rep Power
    0
    Rep Ratio
    148
    Likes Ratio
    25

    Re: Marriage Advice

    What do you suggest are some ways to thoroughly verify a person's character and religious commitment?
    chat Quote

  9. #7
    Insignificant's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    Full Member
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    54
    Threads
    9
    Rep Power
    48
    Rep Ratio
    127
    Likes Ratio
    145

    Re: Marriage Advice

    ....
    Last edited by Insignificant; 06-03-2016 at 09:40 PM.
    chat Quote

  10. #8
    ukmuslimah's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    Full Member
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    UK
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    27
    Threads
    0
    Rep Power
    48
    Rep Ratio
    131
    Likes Ratio
    160

    Re: Marriage Advice

    Pray istikhara. It will give you a clear decision, that days and days of deliberating and thorough research won't.
    chat Quote

  11. #9
    ardianto's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    IB Oldskool
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Indonesia
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    8,551
    Threads
    157
    Rep Power
    126
    Rep Ratio
    61
    Likes Ratio
    57

    Re: Marriage Advice

    format_quote Originally Posted by SarahM View Post
    What do you suggest are some ways to thoroughly verify a person's character and religious commitment?
    You can know someone's character and religious commitment, only if you know him closely.

    If you want to know about someone who is not close with you, it's better if you seek information from someone else who know close with him.
    chat Quote


  12. Hide
Hey there! Marriage Advice Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Marriage Advice
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. Marriage advice
    By SulaimanM in forum General
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 01-06-2016, 07:44 AM
  2. marriage advice
    By AnonymousPoster in forum Advice & Support
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 02-27-2009, 07:29 AM
  3. Advice on marriage
    By Mikayeel in forum Advice & Support
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 02-02-2008, 08:42 PM
  4. Advice on marriage
    By Mikayeel in forum General
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 01-03-2008, 09:48 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
create