make dua please

format_quote Originally Posted by noor grant

i am writing this to ask for duas to help me fight this fitna in my life. i have being considering to be a non practising muslim more and more. even on the verge of leaving islam and practising modest conservative christianity.
It all started when i divorced a muslim who was very unfair and rude to me and my family. I got nothing but flack from the muslim community and rude comments and insinuations that i was a weak muslimah and caused the divorce or did something to drive him away. I only recieve empathy from christians to be honest. I only recieve support, and care to recover from divorce from christians. The mosque and the muslims in my city did nothing to console me in fact they are more harsh and judgemental then anyone. I try to say they don't matter and I have allah. but its hard. I feel i owe more gratitude to the christian communities and infrastructure who saved me and built up my esteem and security again literally and figuritively.
I still have muslim girls who I can talk to occasionally but they stay preoccupied with other things and do not have time for me.
i have even been attracted to marrying a christian man before but I never did it...something does hold me back. But I think if one did propose to me and i like his character, his acceptance and he allowed me to raise my kids as i like. then i would accept.
ugh, subhana allah. I just don't know why the muslims in the west are less understanding and less empathetic then the christians. please make dua that i don't leave allah.

I'm a former divorcee and I can relate to the unsupportive environment of the Muslim community. I don't think it has anything to do with the west, in fact, if you were in the east you would have gotten even more flack and humiliation. I was engaged twice before re-marrying and both times I was made to feel like I owed the men something for marrying a divorcee LOL, please, the privilege was theirs. They stupidly didn't realize the good deeds they's accumulate by marrying somebody with a child. It is all from ignorance and cultural bias sis.

Think of your situation as a TEST OF FAITH. Clearly, Allah said in the Quran, that merely saying "I believe" isn't enough. You'll be put to the test and in my estimation, dealing with an unloving and unaccepting community is part of this test. It personally made me realize that yes, I wanted to remain a Muslim, but I never, ever wanted to be like them and here I am, many years down the road, ready to change the status quo. I don't care if I stand alone, but I WILL stand against all this ignorance and retarded behavior that comes from inflated egos.

I know it isn't easy to make lemonade when life throws you lemons, but please do try to look at the good in your situation. The Christian community may seem appealing at the time (I also experienced similar things to you) and very inviting, but you have to look deep within and remember why you became a Muslim. Was it for your ex husband? Was it for the community? Why are you seeking support from people when you can easily turn to Allah? don't depend on any human and never have expectations of them because they will always disappoint you. If I told you the things I went through with the community... it would be a huge embarrassment to any Muslim who read it, so I'll spare the details.

There WILL be better days. Take time to heal and focus on yourself. Forget about jumping into another relationship so soon. You need to find love for Allah, love for yourself and love for your deen before going there again. Enjoy this time! When it is time to look again, do not do it the same way you've been doing it. Get close to Allah and have HIM arrange a marriage for you, it will be amazing insha'Allah, you'll see!

A Muslim Woman can only marry a Muslim man. This is your test. Remember your purpose. you did not enter Islam for the community, or the people, but for Allah. Because it is the Truth.

Allahu alam.