Expecting a friendly environment from
You can check my threads about jinns and Imam mahdi(a). Continousely I recieve replies against my thread. I am not telling to block them or stop from posting.
But mentally I am very weak and I came here to find a relaxation. And I know everyone hav a right to communicate and express their view. I also will directly tell my thought with other.
But on my thread again and again I expected something helpful for me and I expected to see people give me more knowledge on the topic I started. But whereever I think to express my point I see some people post there thoughts against me. It 's just like blackmailing me to stop thinking or just like I am ,eager to do a great sin.
We have a forum here to discuss about our thoughts and questions and if we are confused with something we will come here to ask other about such things. And I like to communicate them friendly. But I could see some people insult other by telling bad and weakness of other. I am very sad about them.
Here we find a way to stay away from shaithan. If I come ,here real reason is to change my direction toward the Allah's path. To avoid shaithan from my way. I came here with a big expectation to find good friends and be one in Allah's blessings. I wanted to earn the noor again on my face and heart.
Arguement is a way to increase our knowledge. But we should argue about the topic we start but not about the person who start the thread. Or we are not at the condition of jahl. I didn't expect that people would start to talk ill on me about starting a such topic.
I don't think that I have a problem with or even my thread topic is the problem. I am confused with such things and mentally I am disturbed
People will have difference of opinions, that doesn't make them unfriendly.
I think everyone on this forum (you included) is lovely and friendly and if they disagree on some matter doesn't mean they hate you. If you don't want someone's opinion and instead want them to be friendly and nice then make different type of threads?
For example
If i make a thread asking "what do you think about dating a girl" - all type of responses will be there. Does that mean they hate me? NOOOOO
That's called the "online disinhibition effect". People say suff online they would dare to say in real life in front of you.
If you want to get more knowledge on a specific subject, my only advice is to ask someone with knowledge, read books about the topic. Asking random people online won't lead anywhere. People are judgy know-it-all especially online.
But I'm sure there is some friendly people here though
I have some problems ;I have an insulting sister and my everyclassmate were jealous on me. I had only one froend and she is bestie but she too got married now.
I m not sad on bieng single. Why I dnt like marriage. My father wants to give his burdon to another man. But the broker insulted me for my fathers need. So now I get angry and guilt on marriage.
And here I want friends anyway. I expect soft words.
Dont take people too serious. And when it comes to net they may even rise their second pressured personalities and disturb you. If you are expecting healing by talking do it in "real" life.
I am sorry if you have got not-so-warm welcoming to here. The greater part of the members here are kind and friendly so don´t judge too fast but give to us some time to win your heart to IB forum.
If you like some friendly talking with sisters, come to visit to Ladies section.
your suggestion can be accepted. Im closed minded. Normally I m not sharing anything (in mind)with anyone. Or I dont like gossip.
Nature is, I am a silent person. I don't like talking too much but reading.so I dont like it
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format_quote Originally Posted by Ephémère
That's called the "online disinhibition effect". People say suff online they would dare to say in real life in front of you.
If you want to get more knowledge on a specific subject, my only advice is to ask someone with knowledge, read books about the topic. Asking random people online won't lead anywhere. People are judgy know-it-all especially online.
But I'm sure there is some friendly people here though
It seems ,I could find some good friends here. Thanks for all.
When reading this topic, i felt like it does indeed was somehow also is directed towards me.
Sister, there is the approach of
- "sister, have you thought about why you would start this topic"
and the approach of
- "you are this and that..." (insulting)
If you read my comments that i directed to you and think about them it rather has some meaning behind them. You sadly have viewed them as if i want to insult you or denigrate you somehow. This sister maybe i am partly responsible as i could be using different words to express myself, however because i believe i approached you in some different topics and in all of the topics you have viewed them rather in a different way then what it was meant to be. I can say maybe it is also on your part that you MAYBE want people to just agree with you not argue with you for your approach rather being relevant. We do not know what is your life story, we do not know what is your mentality, we do not know what is your state of imaan. We know very little about you. But discussions we leave out our personal self a side and enter the discussion. When we enter the discussion we try to understand the opinion of the other person but without insulting (as i believe i have not done in any of my replies). If you have felt as a insult then sister i do not know what you do not feel as a insult. Agreeing with you on things while one does not agree with you and not giving feedback on certain mindset is not insulting you rather trying to ignite reflecting.
However on each and every topic that i did replied to you, by logic, rationality and reason one can conclude that it has a certain foundation why i said what i said. I can keep my mouth shut about things and not remind you or point at some things that you MAYBE did not think of thus MAYBE change your approach OR teach me that i have to change my approach OR just see it as if i am working against you. In real life i am also like this or else i take my distance from people who do not want to think or reflect. Thus also not "hurt" their feelings. I say let them do whatever they want to do.
Do please reflect on what i said in this comment because if you do not know the difference between disagreeing and insulting then i can say you will be having even MORE hard time to come, as i am planning to leave the forum myself, but i know some other brothers/sisters who are also very direct, which i personally like their approach being direct, to leave out miscommunication as much as possible. We don't try to "like" people, while in our hearts we rather "dislike" them. With every one of the people on this forum they know what i "think" of them and not trying to hide from it. They can accept it, or they can reject it. If somebody asks me why i say what i say, i give them the logic, rationality and reason why i "think" of them the way i do. I want people including on this forum to be exactly like this to me. Just like you recently said, to have "soft" approach which i can indeed by logic, rationality and reason can agree with you that i sometimes need to adjust my approach to some people.
Last edited by Simple_Person; 08-15-2017 at 03:56 PM.
When reading this topic, i felt like it does indeed was somehow also is directed towards me.
Sister, there is the approach of
- "sister, have you thought about why you would start this topic"
and the approach of
- "you are this and that..." (insulting)
If you read my comments that i directed to you and think about them it rather has some meaning behind them. You sadly have viewed them as if i want to insult you or denigrate you somehow. This sister maybe i am partly responsible as i could be using different words to express myself, however because i believe i approached you in some different topics and in all of the topics you have viewed them rather in a different way then what it was meant to be. I can say maybe it is also on your part that you MAYBE want people to just agree with you not argue with you for your approach rather being relevant. We do not know what is your life story, we do not know what is your mentality, we do not know what is your state of imaan. We know very little about you. But discussions we leave out our personal self a side and enter the discussion. When we enter the discussion we try to understand the opinion of the other person but without insulting (as i believe i have not done in any of my replies). If you have felt as a insult then sister i do not know what you do not feel as a insult. Agreeing with you on things while one does not agree with you and not giving feedback on certain mindset is not insulting you rather trying to ignite reflecting.
However on each and every topic that i did replied to you, by logic, rationality and reason one can conclude that it has a certain foundation why i said what i said. I can keep my mouth shut about things and not remind you or point at some things that you MAYBE did not think of thus MAYBE change your approach OR teach me that i have to change my approach OR just see it as if i am working against you. In real life i am also like this or else i take my distance from people who do not want to think or reflect. Thus also not "hurt" their feelings. I say let them do whatever they want to do.
Do please reflect on what i said in this comment because if you do not know the difference between disagreeing and insulting then i can say you will be having even MORE hard time to come, as i am planning to leave the forum myself, but i know some other brothers/sisters who are also very direct.
Who said you are bad? I like your aproach ☺For Allah I like friends like you.I know that when I post a topic like this you may think that it is for you.but nor. Just be simple
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format_quote Originally Posted by STN
People will have difference of opinions, that doesn't make them unfriendly.
I think everyone on this forum (you included) is lovely and friendly and if they disagree on some matter doesn't mean they hate you. If you don't want someone's opinion and instead want them to be friendly and nice then make different type of threads?
For example
If i make a thread asking "what do you think about dating a girl" - all type of responses will be there. Does that mean they hate me? NOOOOO
Agree vt u ☺ have an option to be friends for Allah. I m very soft (my name meaning should be the reason
Forgive me and accept me as friend for Allah please share your knowledge vt me too
Last edited by Shahi; 08-15-2017 at 03:59 PM.
Reason: Want to ask "forgive me and for Allah accept me as a friend.
Who said you are bad? I like your aproach ☺For Allah I like friends like you.I know that when I post a topic like this you may think that it is for you.but nor. Just be simple
Always be direct to people because these days i have sadly experience MANY people when you suddenly have a fight they start pouring what they had hidden in their hearts how they think of you. I am not like that, if i do not like somebody i do not want to hang out with that person. Thus when even having a fight with a person that i hang out, there is nothing that i kept hidden how i think about that individual. Then even when in the fight, there is NOTHING hurtful that i bring up or something like that because i simply do not think ill of them.
The person who dislikes you being honest is the person that would fight you for speaking the truth. For example when you say something to somebody for being hypocritical about certain thing..(ie for example for gossiping). If somebody would try to stop me and say that is gossip what you are doing, i would even LOVE that person more for reminding me. However there are people who THINK by trying to "prevent" hurting your feelings by being very vage about you gossiping well that is not getting to the point and prolonging the discussion/talk for nothing. Just be direct as the person who makes you cry (telling the truth) is rather a good friend), instead of making you smile all day and every day (does not tel you the hard truth).
Expecting a friendly environment from
You can check my threads about jinns and Imam mahdi(a). Continousely I recieve replies against my thread. I am not telling to block them or stop from posting.
But mentally I am very weak and I came here to find a relaxation. And I know everyone hav a right to communicate and express their view. I also will directly tell my thought with other.
But on my thread again and again I expected something helpful for me and I expected to see people give me more knowledge on the topic I started. But whereever I think to express my point I see some people post there thoughts against me. It 's just like blackmailing me to stop thinking or just like I am ,eager to do a great sin.
We have a forum here to discuss about our thoughts and questions and if we are confused with something we will come here to ask other about such things. And I like to communicate them friendly. But I could see some people insult other by telling bad and weakness of other. I am very sad about them.
Here we find a way to stay away from shaithan. If I come ,here real reason is to change my direction toward the Allah's path. To avoid shaithan from my way. I came here with a big expectation to find good friends and be one in Allah's blessings. I wanted to earn the noor again on my face and heart.
Arguement is a way to increase our knowledge. But we should argue about the topic we start but not about the person who start the thread. Or we are not at the condition of jahl. I didn't expect that people would start to talk ill on me about starting a such topic.
I don't think that I have a problem with or even my thread topic is the problem. I am confused with such things and mentally I am disturbed
We usually prefer that if you have an issue with a particular member or the forum in general, you let us know in the helpdesk or to report it. I want you to know that everyone here has their own type of tone/style because we're all individual. So some of them may be blunt, straightforward, or even unclear, and it may seem insensitive or uncaring. This isn't the case. I believe if no one really cared about you they wouldn't reply at all. As long as no one directly insults you using vulgarity (which you should always report), you shouldn't feel sad or insulted because it's just they way they advise and not everyone likes to sugarcoat reality. And sometimes it's just simply difficult to really gauge feelings/tone through writing. I think you feel a bit sensitive because you are new here and have not gotten to know everyone yet. With time, you will understand how each person is different and special in their own way
format_quote Originally Posted by Simple_Person
When reading this topic, i felt like it does indeed was somehow also is directed towards me.
I thought it was too tsk tsk tsk
@Simple_Person
..don't make our new members cry!
Somehow it makes a VIRAL entry .I respect you brother @Simple_Person
People who take their frustrations on others are scum if you ask me. If you have permission of Allah to take your frustrations on others, then i take my words back, however that is and never has been the case. We as Muslims must be merciful to other creation from human beings to trees to even insects if we want to have mercy of Allah on us in this life as well as in the next.
A great reminder, also for the reader, if you love animals, you do NOT keep pets as you cannot give them their rights in full and they will testify against you on the Day of Judgement. Animals must have a purpose and not for your enjoyment at their cost.
Beautiful hadith...
====Hadith=====
'Abdullah reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, stopped in a place and then someone took a bird's eggs and the bird began to beat its wings around the head of the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace. He asked, "Which of you has taken its eggs?" A man said, "Messenger of Allah, I have taken its eggs." The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Return them out off mercy to the bird."
People who take their frustrations on others are scum if you ask me. If you have permission of Allah to take your frustrations on others, then i take my words back, however that is and never has been the case. We as Muslims must be merciful to other creation from human beings to trees to even insects if we want to have mercy of Allah on us in this life as well as in the next.
A great reminder, also for the reader, if you love animals, you do NOT keep pets as you cannot give them their rights in full and they will testify against you on the Day of Judgement. Animals must have a purpose and not for your enjoyment at their cost.
Beautiful hadith...
====Hadith=====
'Abdullah reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, stopped in a place and then someone took a bird's eggs and the bird began to beat its wings around the head of the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace. He asked, "Which of you has taken its eggs?" A man said, "Messenger of Allah, I have taken its eggs." The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Return them out off mercy to the bird."
"The believer is a mirror for the believer. The believer is the brother of the believer. He guards his resources and surrounds him with his care and protection."
Allah said, {The believers are nothing but brothers} (Al-Hujuraat:10).
(www.ummah.com)
So ,we are responsible for the reaction of our brothers when we recieve it from them.
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