Islamically, a father or designated walee (like a Imam or other Islamic community leader) has the responsibility for approving of a daughter or female ward's suitor. A lot of the responsibility for finding and screening suitors falls to him as well these days.

I have experienced how difficult it is for my father to find one man that one of his daughters might be interested in meeting, let alone more than one. Are you finding it a struggle, too? How do you usually go about it?


1. We all know there are a lot of walees who deal unjustly with their daughters and wards when it comes to this. We're going to leave those people out of this discussion. I'd like to hear from Islamically responsible walees who take this part of their role seriously.

2. We're speaking in the context of women who are not actively chasing men down without the involvement of any walee.

3. Obviously (hopefully?) the walee is not working in a vacuum, and friends and community members may help find marriage partners effectively, too. I just want to talk about what an Islamically responsible walee goes through in terms of finding suitors.

4. I know, the women you're respocan make this extremely difficult, too! But it's the thought that counts, may Allah reward your good intentions. Let's just talk about your efforts.