One of the worst decisions of my life was marrying my first wife when she was a Christian and I was a Muslim. One of the best decisions of my life was divorcing her 5 years later.
A lot of people, muslim or non-muslim, always have second thoughts about the fact that only men are allowed to divorce their wifes unconditionally. Obviously women are allowed to divorce their husbands in exceptional cases, like physical abuse (through an Islamic judge).
Just a couple of days ago, after watching a video on how men and women process breakup and reading more about it, did I realize the greatness behind this seemingly "unequal" rule.
Before I actually explain how men and women differ on how they handle their breakup. I first want to make it clear why God makes things haram for us. In most cases it is simply because it is BAD for us. Things like alcohol, gambling and murder are bad for the individual and society as a whole. Pretty obvious, but let that sink in before you begin reading the next paragraph.
So why would Allah give men the right for divorce, but not to women? According to a study released in 2015 in the Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences by Craig Morris, research associate at Binghamton University and lead author on the study. Men and women differ in their ability to fully recover from breakups.There could be a couple of reasons for this, the first thing that comes to my mind is that women simply had to adapt, men used to die rather quick back in the day (Khadija RA was widowed 2 times before marrying Mohammed pbuh at the age of 40), while men generally died much earlier than their wifes. In other words, while men were polygynous, women were more of a serial monogamist."women ultimately tend to come out emotionally stronger, whereas men never really, truly get over it—they just find another mate."
Another interesting finding in the study, was thatAgain, this has to do with biology. Since women fully recover from breakup and also since they have more to lose if they get pregnant (when men could literary disapear and never been seen again. It still happens, but much much less)."Interestingly, women were also more likely to do the breaking up than men—despite facing a more painful road to recovery. The researchers point out that this finding backs up previous research showing that women initiate divorce in 70 percent of legal cases."
So back to the ruling of Allah, as to why only men have the right for talaq. I think you already know the answer, but I'll spell it out anyway. The only time a men would divorce his wife, is when he rather has his hearth permanently damaged, than to stay married to that particular women. I.e, it has to be a damn good reason.
Edit:
Now, let the fight begin
Last edited by 00001001; 03-11-2018 at 01:39 PM.
One of the worst decisions of my life was marrying my first wife when she was a Christian and I was a Muslim. One of the best decisions of my life was divorcing her 5 years later.
Here's an article rhat may or not make sense to you:
http://partytilfajr.tumblr.com/post/...ing-divorce-in
Party Til Fajr
...
There is kullah for women to break away from her husband after giving back his Mahar.
In addition to men suffering a bigger lose if a divorce should happen, having only husbands the right to divorce is means of protecting the children. The children are really the weakest people with no voice what so ever. Children seriously need their fathers around them, boys needs dads so that they know how to become real men vs without one they become headless chicken. Sometimes they come out ok but they are still incomplete, they can never be the same as said being raised by two loving parents in the same house. Girls need fathers because that will be the first time she interact with a male figure. This way she formulate a picture in how to interact with the opposite gender. Fathers also set rules for gender roles and puts boundaries for the sexes. Both boys and girls need this. So if divorce was given to women and women initiate 70% of the divorce then the victims will be the children, they will grow up screwed up. Personally myself I don't care who have the say of divorce if it means the children is protected then so be it. In this case, since women initiate 70% of the divorce I am thankfully that Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) gave the husband and not the wife the right for divorce.
Not to say that all men are mature in this :P sadly the way men act is truly...........-sigh-........... I put my head in shame and shake my head.
Last edited by xboxisdead; 03-11-2018 at 07:32 AM.
format_quote Originally Posted by 00001001
A lot of people, muslim or non-muslim, always have second thoughts about the fact that only men are allowed to divorce their wifes unconditionally. Obviously women are allowed to divorce their husbands in exceptional cases, like physical abuse (through an Islamic judge).
Just a couple of days ago, after watching a video on how men and women process breakup and reading more about it, did I realize the greatness behind this seemingly "unequal" rule.
Before I actually explain how men and women differ on how they handle their breakup. I first want to make it clear why God makes things haram for us. In most cases it is simply because it is BAD for us. Things like alcohol, gambling and murder are bad for the individual and society as a whole. Pretty obvious, but let that sink in before you begin reading the next paragraph.
So why would Allah give men the right for divorce, but not to women? According to a study released in 2015 in the Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences by Craig Morris, research associate at Binghamton University and lead author on the study. Men and women differ in their ability to fully recover from breakups. There could be a couple of reasons for this, the first thing that comes to my mind is that women simply had to adapt, men used to die rather quick back in the day (Khadija was widowed 2 times before marrying Mohammed pbuh at the age of 40), while men generally died much earlier than their wifes. In other words, while men were polygynous, women were more of a serial monogamist.
Another interesting finding in the study, was that Again, this has to do with biology. Since women fully recover from breakup and also since they have more to lose if they get pregnant (when men could literary disapear and never been seen again. It still happens, but much much less).
So back to the ruling of Allah, as to why only men have the right for talaq. I think you already know the answer, but I'll spell it out anyway. The only time a men would divorce his wife, is when he rather has his hearth permanently damaged, than to stay married to that particular women. I.e, it has to be a damn good reason.
Edit:
Now, let the fight begin
Asalaamualaykum
Your Article does not even in the slightest of measures justify your Heading. Please refrain from this as it is misleading.
Nowhere in your article have you even given proof and shamefully your Article is talking on behalf of Allah SWT. If Allah SWT or our Rasool SAW did not explain the reason to something - that's where we leave it.
What you have done here is entirely against the Sunnah and Islamic ethics.
Also Hazrath Khadija RA is our mother in Islam and a Sahibiath herself - Can you please have some dignity and self respect and write RA after her name.
Last edited by Supernova; 03-11-2018 at 09:20 AM. Reason: spelling
Seems I worded the heading a bit wrong. My bad.format_quote Originally Posted by Supernova
Fixed.format_quote Originally Posted by Supernova
Like I said in the beginning. The women is allowed to divorce in exceptional cases, where the marriage itself is more harmful than the divorce. There is even a hadith about this.format_quote Originally Posted by talibilm
There is kullah for women to break away from her husband after giving back his Mahar.
- - - Updated - - -It was narrated from Ibn 'Abbas that the Prophet (ﷺ) said:
"No woman asks for divorce when it is not absolutely necessary, but she will never smell the fragrance of paradise, although its fragrance can be detected from a distance of forty years' travel. "
Grade : Hasan (Darussalam)
English reference : Vol. 3, Book 10, Hadith 2054 Arabic reference : Book 10, Hadith 2132
I'm not sure why you send that article? Like I said in the beginning of my post, women are allowed to divorce in exceptional cases, where the marriage itself is more harmful than the divorce.format_quote Originally Posted by cinnamonrolls1
It was narrated from Ibn 'Abbas that the Prophet (ﷺ) said:
"No woman asks for divorce when it is not absolutely necessary, but she will never smell the fragrance of paradise, although its fragrance can be detected from a distance of forty years' travel. "
Grade : Hasan (Darussalam)
English reference : Vol. 3, Book 10, Hadith 2054 Arabic reference : Book 10, Hadith 2132
cinnamonrolls1 liked this post
Marriage Fraud 1
by Muslimah Against Feminism
Warning to Brothers
A growing fraud has come to light.
What happens is when a Muslim man, who's doing well financially, looks for a wife, he is met by a "good" Muslim family with a 'mashaAllah-girl interested in him. The next thing he knows, the family seems overly impressed with him & want to get the marriage done as soon as possible. They ask him for money to take care of expenses with the promise to return later. Plus, the girl is also someone who values herself highly so she doesn't accept 'mahr' bids below $10,000.
After the man ends up paying everything, the girl runs back to her family within 2 to 3 weeks of nikaah. She seeks divorce cuz the man was abusive to her. Add in other made-up accusations. Her family supports her and threatens the guy to let her go. It depends upon the situation whether any further transactions in money takes place i.e. how much more can the family blackmail the guy.
The lesson to be learnt here is if you're a male with a good bank balance looking to complete half his deen and you see a pretty & pristine sister offering to fall into your arms ready for some shaka laka boom boom.... STOP right there. Use your head. Perform your due diligence. Get other friends & family involved and ask proper questions. Please don't just rush into things.
Marriage Fraud 2
There's this *undercover industry* of feminism in the Western world (& even in the East) where a woman gets along with a Man in order to get married. Post marriage she has a couple of kids with him. Then, the game begins.by Muslimah Against Feminism
The purpose is to hold the kids hostage and make that man live according to her whims. If he puts one foot out of line, she threatens to call the cops on him which would mean taking the kids away, him losing his job, getting excommunicated from the masjid, parting with half his wealth & income, paying alimony & child support apart from going to jail for domestic violence.
If you're wondering how a man can be framed when he hasn't done anything then you need to take a break and look into how things work in (say) America. Understand how the police treats a man, how the courts judge him and how the entire system is rigged against him simply because he's Male. Don't believe me. Take a look yourself.
This is a great business model for women who have no talent or skill to work or don't want to work. They easily get financial support (read: alms) from various organizations, muslim & non alike. They don't even spend a penny on legal fees as it gets taken care of. Basically life becomes comfortable for free and as time passes they get to play the victim card more & more till their facebook page or blog kicks off and they get recognized as activists, social workers and even role models for our younger girls.
Aaaaand this is just in gist. The details are even uglier.
Nice sharing, Well Unfortunately, our society just collapsed(Especially Pakistani). We failed to protect or do something for our generation. To be honest i always ask one question(when i was little)...Why people go for sins...When there is halal way to get married. But We people made this "marriage" thing into a horrible, nightmare, complex, puzzle game. I am saying so becoz i am 27 and am in this situation. So just sharing my thought...The way i feel it. But the best way to deal in this situation...Always stay away from greed. But as i mention its not that easy. But be hopeful...Inshallah everything is going to be alright... Just wait for the right time...Please Involve your Parents and elders...By their experience... You will be safe from all kind of fraud. Keep yourself busy in outdoor activities...I love swimming, Running, oh its feels like freedom ahaha... Yeah just enjoy life (rainbow colors)... Please share your journey's +experiences... Allah dont like Divorce. Divorce is really a sad thing. Thats why Elder people think and help you out with their experiences... Alright..Good wishes...stay healthyformat_quote Originally Posted by Zzz_
format_quote Originally Posted by Zzz_
Asalamu Alaikumformat_quote Originally Posted by 00001001A lot of people, muslim or non-muslim, always have second thoughts about the fact that only men are allowed to divorce their wifes unconditionally. Obviously women are allowed to divorce their husbands in exceptional cases, like physical abuse (through an Islamic judge).
Just a couple of days ago, after watching a video on how men and women process breakup and reading more about it, did I realize the greatness behind this seemingly "unequal" rule.
Before I actually explain how men and women differ on how they handle their breakup. I first want to make it clear why God makes things haram for us. In most cases it is simply because it is BAD for us. Things like alcohol, gambling and murder are bad for the individual and society as a whole. Pretty obvious, but let that sink in before you begin reading the next paragraph.
So why would Allah give men the right for divorce, but not to women? According to a study released in 2015 in the Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences by Craig Morris, research associate at Binghamton University and lead author on the study. Men and women differ in their ability to fully recover from breakups. There could be a couple of reasons for this, the first thing that comes to my mind is that women simply had to adapt, men used to die rather quick back in the day (Khadija RA was widowed 2 times before marrying Mohammed pbuh at the age of 40), while men generally died much earlier than their wifes. In other words, while men were polygynous, women were more of a serial monogamist.
Another interesting finding in the study, was that Again, this has to do with biology. Since women fully recover from breakup and also since they have more to lose if they get pregnant (when men could literary disapear and never been seen again. It still happens, but much much less).
So back to the ruling of Allah, as to why only men have the right for talaq. I think you already know the answer, but I'll spell it out anyway. The only time a men would divorce his wife, is when he rather has his hearth permanently damaged, than to stay married to that particular women. I.e, it has to be a damn good reason.
Edit:
Now, let the fight begin
Men get the right because women are crazy emotional wrecks in these types of situations, and as a result say the silliest of things which they end up instantly regretting. It's quite obvious they shouldn't be given the right to obtain a divorce so easily, that's like giving a child access to a firearm.
Just look at the divorce rates globally, and compare the non Muslim countries that allow women to get a divorce so easily to the Muslim ones that don't:
https://www.trendrr.net/8004/countri...t-india-japan/
https://worldinfigures.com/rankings/topic/30
Last edited by Alamgir; 03-11-2018 at 07:04 PM.
Misbah-Abd liked this post
You are aware there is no way these countries you just mentioned will ever change. The only way this will change is by giving men only the right to divorce and THAT WILL NOT FLY. IT IS GOES AGAINST GENDER EQUALITY, AGAINST FEMINISM and no WOMEN that is not muslim will allow this. This will hurt the feelings of these women and give men some power over the women and goes 10000% against the concept of gender equality or female superiority or goes against the concept of their version of women's right and goes 100% in the concept of their way of life and in addition to that they do not want to admit that Islam is the way to go as this will shake their very core system and believe and no way they want people to revert back to Islam...no no no no...this is a war to their way of life and believe and they will not sit idle by and let it go. They will throw sexism left and right endlessly and believe they are right and you are wrong and will try to enforce their ways on your way of life.format_quote Originally Posted by Ibn ShahidAsalamu Alaikum
Men get the right because women are crazy emotional wrecks in these types of situations, and as a result say the silliest of things which they end up instantly regretting. It's quite obvious they shouldn't be given the right to obtain a divorce so easily, that's like giving a child access to a firearm.
Just look at the divorce rates globally, and compare the non Muslim countries that allow women to get a divorce so easily to the Muslim ones that don't:
https://www.trendrr.net/8004/countri...t-india-japan/
https://worldinfigures.com/rankings/topic/30
Alamgir liked this post
It is starting to become entertaining reading xbox's posts.
format_quote Originally Posted by Misbah-Abd
You know I am rightEver! Because you see, you are relying on defective mind of a man or a woman (and yes, both men and women are defective. This is why we need to obey Allah's law not man or woman made laws). When you rely on defective mind of man or woman you are setting laws that are set to fulfilling your whims and desires vs following Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) law who is perfect. He is perfect and his laws are perfect and with infinite hikmah, a hikmah that the limited mind of human beings can never, ever comprehend in a trillion years even if he or she tried. You see, these non-Muslim people will always go wrong, do wrong, always fail...because the VERY FIRST and most important thing which they should have started with is to believe in Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) and his prophets and not to associate partners with Allah and to obey and submit. THEY DID THIS WRONG by associating partners, by disbelieving, by by by...well if the most important thing they have failed how do you expect them to be just in something less important that that. You see, we all have to fulfill our rights to Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) by not associating partners with him, by worshiping him alone, by submitting and obeying without an objection, if a person failed to do this and did not fulfill the right of Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) how in the world you expect them to fulfill rights of the creation of Allah. Come on!
So yes, this will not change, this will never change, they will never give right to a husband, they will never say only men divorce their women, they will never say men and women are different and they each have certain rights and obligations and set of roles in the community, there will be abundance of homosexuality in that world, they will be worshiping their private parts instead of worshiping Allah (Subhnahu Wa Talaa), feminist will always run there, the scream of gender equality will always be there, women there will always and I mean always initiate majority of the divorces, the law against men will never change because majority of the voters are women and the politics will kowtow to women and not obey Allah's law because they don't believe in Allah in the first place, you see. New generation will be worse than the previous...the cycle will repeat itself.
What we should be-careful is not what non-Muslim do...it is that it will not effect the Muslim community, which sadly to say it will. Because we will love to follow the non-Muslim instead of following qura'an and the sunnah. For example, and I am no different here, how many of us actually dress like the way of the prophet (peace be upon him) including beard until the day we die? By the way I am not preaching here, I too I am in the same boat..I do not dress like the prophet (peace be upon him) so no hypocrisy here. I am just pointing out we are moving away more and more from the Qruaan and Sunnah.
Last edited by xboxisdead; 03-11-2018 at 11:33 PM.
Thanks for stereotyping us women as crazy emotional wrecks. Really appreciate it.format_quote Originally Posted by Ibn ShahidAsalamu Alaikum
Men get the right because women are crazy emotional wrecks in these types of situations, and as a result say the silliest of things which they end up instantly regretting. It's quite obvious they shouldn't be given the right to obtain a divorce so easily, that's like giving a child access to a firearm.
Just look at the divorce rates globally, and compare the non Muslim countries that allow women to get a divorce so easily to the Muslim ones that don't:
https://www.trendrr.net/8004/countri...t-india-japan/
https://worldinfigures.com/rankings/topic/30
czgibson liked this post
Asalamu Alaikumformat_quote Originally Posted by cinnamonrolls1
In situations like these, yeah most of you are.
Allah has allowed men to be superior to women in some areas, and vice versa.
Men are being stereotyped in so many things, mountains of things. We all are stereotyped. That is life. For example, when men do hair saloon what the stereotype toward him? Gay or effeminate. Am I wrong in that? When you go outside and you want to hire a babysitter for your kids would you hire a male or female? Stereotyped. When you go outside walking in the street and you see a man with a tattoo, with mohawk hair, earrings and horrible clothing coming your way and identical setting but female...which of those two you will be more scared off. Stereotype. Funny thing is, it could be the woman who will be stabbing you and not the man, but stereotype comes in effect. You can never escape it. Don't we have negative image of mother-in-law or father-in-law? Stereotype. Would you trust a 10 year old boy on the stove over a 10 year old girl for example? Stereotype. When it comes to lifting heavy objects, you stereotype and expect a boy or a man to lift it vs a girl or a woman. Stereotype. Even though in some cases the boy is weaker than the girl and the girl could go to the gym and the boy sits home watching TV, but stereotypically you pick the boy to carry heavy objects and not the girl. Stereotype.
format_quote Originally Posted by xboxisdead
Assalamu Alaikum
This is just my opinion but I believe the reason why men are given this right is simply because they are the protectors and maintainers of their women. They ultimately have the greater authority, and with this authority comes a great responsibility of maintaining the family dynamic. In the divorce actually, the children are supposed to go with their father (unless they are infants), and the (ex)husband is to support the wife during the 'iddah while she observes it in the very house they lived in. There is wisdom in every aspect of the divorce because emotions fluctuate intensely during the entire process and it gives the leeway to reassess the situation because it is always preferable to fix the relationship. In the end, Allah knows best and divorces are trials just like other parts of life, given to the man nonetheless, which is not an easy responsibility to have. So there shouldn't be any pride in that because I would assume it's weight on the scale is quite heavy even when it feels light on the tongue.
This is a huge misconception. Men and women express their emotions differently, but I wouldn't say one is more emotional than the other, we are just emotional in different ways. There have been men who also throw around "talaq" when they are angry and regret it afterwards, there are men who are abusive, there are men who's egos are crushed due to divorce *cough cough* so you can't really assume that they all have emotional self-control or are indifferent in that regard. And perhaps the power of divorce is given to a man simply because this is what Allah wants to test him with and not necessarily because women are ever considered as "less than" or "more emotional." A man catches the flu and it's his death sentenceformat_quote Originally Posted by Ibn Shahid
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