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  1. #1
    Life1010's Avatar
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    I'm hopeless

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    I have the following problem: I am converted to Islam 5 years ago and my mother is a very Islamophobic person and always wants to talk me out of being a Muslim. Now we had a fight because she said at my new school I'm a Christian and that's like a slap in the face for me. Once my teacher shouted at me in the class in front of everyone because I fasted in Ramadan. In a year I'm of age but unfortunately I can not do any training because of bad chances. I was tormented very often. My Iman is like steel that's why I think a lot, but I'm very often bad, because I want to finally wear hijab and undisturbed Muslima without having to constantly hide me. From the outside I get so much pressure and relatives of mine wanted to shred me when it came out as I was Muslim. I do not want to belong to this KuffrFamilie I am constantly sad and anxious. If somebody asks me if I am muslima I'm afraid to answer alhamdulillah yes I'm so down but I love Islam too much I can not leave it because Islam saved my life and is my pride and joy.

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    Life1010's Avatar
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    Re: I'm hopeless

    Please give me a answer

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    Re: I'm hopeless

    Asalamualykum,

    That's great news Alhamdulilah. Well done for finding the truth. Our hearts are naturally drawn to the truth sometimes especially in this materialistic artificial world.

    In some situations it is best not to disclose your actions. For example if you feel people around you will you give you a hard time for fasting it is better not to tell them especially if you are already on fragile grounds with your inner self i.e. still learning about the deen and finding yourself etc. Once you feel confident with your self and understand Islam better then you can disclose- again only if you feel comfortable. You can deal with situations in different ways. Have a think about what suits you better and how to handle different characters. You can also choose to remain silent and not say anything. This is also another good technique.

    I would encourage you to fulfil the compulsory acts i.e. wearing the hijaab. This is faraz upon every muslim lady after the age of puberty. So hurry and rush to fulfil those acts.

    In terms of your relationship with your mum. You must no doubt be kind and compassionate to her even though she may insult you or tease you. Parents as you know have a high status in Islam especially mothers.Be patient. Try and make her understand and always remember her actions and words will come from a place of love and concern. She will be worried about you. Sadly she may even think you might want to do some terrorist activity etc with the media's role in society. So keep talking to her and perhaps take her to your local masjid. You never know your mum might be in awe insha Allah.
    I'm hopeless

    Pain and hardships allow you to grow spiritually Alhamdulilah so smile when a so called calamity befalls upon you.
    Alhamdulilah Allah swt is the greatest.

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    AbuAsiyah's Avatar
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    Re: I'm hopeless

    I have the following problem: I am converted to Islam 5 years ago and my mother is a very Islamophobic person and always wants to talk me out of being a Muslim. Now we had a fight because she said at my new school I'm a Christian and that's like a slap in the face for me. Once my teacher shouted at me in the class in front of everyone because I fasted in Ramadan. In a year I'm of age but unfortunately I can not do any training because of bad chances. I was tormented very often. My Iman is like steel that's why I think a lot, but I'm very often bad, because I want to finally wear hijab and undisturbed Muslima without having to constantly hide me. From the outside I get so much pressure and relatives of mine wanted to shred me when it came out as I was Muslim. I do not want to belong to this KuffrFamilie I am constantly sad and anxious. If somebody asks me if I am muslima I'm afraid to answer alhamdulillah yes I'm so down but I love Islam too much I can not leave it because Islam saved my life and is my pride and joy.

    assalam alaykum

    "And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination. But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do." (Luqman: 14-15)

    al-Hamdullilah, praise to Allah who guided you to the light of Islam and placed love of it into your heart.

    The Prophet (salalahu alaihi wa Salaam) said, "When Allah Loves a servant, He tests them." (Tirmidhi)

    Dear Sister, it is allowed for you to hide your Iman if you think that will be better or easier for you. The Prophet (peace be upon him) allowed this in mecca when his followers were being persecuted. However, you must still perform your obligatory deeds in secret like prayer and fasting and so forth.

    You said that in a year you will be of age. Is there a way that you can leave your environment and be on your own? Are there any trusted family members who could take you in or help you? You should make a plan to leave that environment even if it takes some time. And Allah is the Best Helper.

    Allah (azzawajal) is very Kind and Merciful especially to those who are in weak and oppressed circumstances. If you are falling short of your duties to Allah and are not performing them just as well as you would like and would be able to if you were somewhere else, then Allah is Most Merciful, Most Forgiving. Do not despair. Do not give up hope. Allah is With you and He will Help you through your difficulties inshaAllah, bithnillah.


    "O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient." (al-Baqarah: 153)



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    emem.masorong's Avatar
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    Re: I'm hopeless

    Quote Originally Posted by Life1010 View Post
    I have the following problem: I am converted to Islam 5 years ago and my mother is a very Islamophobic person and always wants to talk me out of being a Muslim. Now we had a fight because she said at my new school I'm a Christian and that's like a slap in the face for me. Once my teacher shouted at me in the class in front of everyone because I fasted in Ramadan. In a year I'm of age but unfortunately I can not do any training because of bad chances. I was tormented very often. My Iman is like steel that's why I think a lot, but I'm very often bad, because I want to finally wear hijab and undisturbed Muslima without having to constantly hide me. From the outside I get so much pressure and relatives of mine wanted to shred me when it came out as I was Muslim. I do not want to belong to this KuffrFamilie I am constantly sad and anxious. If somebody asks me if I am muslima I'm afraid to answer alhamdulillah yes I'm so down but I love Islam too much I can not leave it because Islam saved my life and is my pride and joy.
    That is sad to hear. I was born a Muslim. I should be humble because a lot of Christians had a hard life before they knew the truth. It's hard without having simple knowledge of it when young and simply not born a Muslim. I pondered about that a few days ago. It was a long time that I hadn't thought of that fully well. Back to your problem. It just hit a little something me when you said your teacher shouted at you for fasting. What exactly did happen? Did she just do that out of no reason at all? Think about it. Maybe there was something(a reason) behind that. We have conscience, and these people have it too. We have a responsibility as Muslims, for we have the knowledge. I understand you are in a situation of hopelessness, just like what I was before. If you only knew. I still have that problem, but now it's a blessing. A blessing in disguise. There are these ghosts telling what's inside my brain. If I hadn't prayed and came back to Islam, reading the Quran, increasing my faith everyday by learning more about Islam, and so on, I would be lost and utterly scared and ruined, I tell you, back into the abyss of hopelessness, struggle, defiance, greed, solitude, envy, ignorance, selfishness, materialism, and all evil. I had lots of failed attempts of suicide. I vow never to return to that situation again, and so, I am praying now everyday all the 5 prayers, and when I cannot sleep at night, and sometimes it reaches morning(because of the ghosts), I pray. It is good that you love Islam and want to stay with it. Allah bless us all. Try to talk to an Imam or a very trustworthy friend. I prefer a girl, for when a boy and girl is alone with each other, Satan is in the middle. We, the slaves of Allah, are here for you. But always remember that it is Allah, the best of helpers, who can truly be there to help you. Follow his commandments as much as you can. If you are ever worried, just say, "Whatever Allah wills" and depend on him 100%. He will direct your path. Straighten it. Right now, I don't mind much more what the ghosts say unlike before, because I don't care anymore if whether I am intelligent or I said something of reason, and my head feels lighter, and when night comes, my head still feels a little lighter or I don't notice it's heaviness anymore. I am oh so thankful. Having gratitude can save us. What we appreciate increases. Remember, all our actions, even it be little, are counted, seen by Allah, even the most smallest atomic one.

    As-salamu alaykum. You can use reason and religion both. It has reason of course. Stay calm when you feel like you are losing your faith and everything is crumbling down because of others and they are many. I live in Luzon, the uppermost region of the Philippines, and it is Christian-dominated. I became lost. I would pray as much as I can, but it wasn't everyday. I had little experience and knowledge in Islam, yet I am thankful, for even one single ayah(verse) in the Holy Quran or Quran. Take it easy. It is both good to say that. What's important is everyday, I stay resilient, enjoy the hardships and trials when it afflicts me. Alhamdullilah for that and for whatever ease or comfort or good that befalls me. Both. I wasn't like that before. I had an aethiest mind, a christian mind, or whatever mind. A so free mind without guidance from Allah. Know that it is not only on the Quran you can find good knowledge. Even some Christian sourced knowledge has good in them, but be careful. Islam is the religion of peace and ease. Allah doesn't want to burden us. I am limp now. Long story. At first, I had little faith and did not pray, for I was praying back then, only while using Marijuana, and I didn't know that that intoxication ruins my prayers, and it is invalid, yet, I think Allah recorded the effort, but my pride and ignorance and stupidity, making a rash decision to jump at the balcony or terrace of the 3rd floor we're in made me limp. I wanted to become stronger than this Parkour artist named David Belle, for I shouted to my father back then that I would be the STRONGEST, and was unaware that it was Allah who is that. This me coming back to Islam cured me from that sickness of endless desire and want of nothingness. I was high too. I saw a girl, a christian one, and it motivated me more to show off. She was wearing sexy clothing. SEX is such a powerful drive in us, that fasting, making it unavailable, restrains us and makes us control it. Girls are raped and tortured, inserted of knives in their vaginas or a bottle of wine. Ever heard of the Japanese girl who was brutally tortured by some youngsters? It was deadly. You can't just blame anybody. "It is men." "No. It is the women". That is why wearing a hijab is a commandment of Allah for women. When I see a woman wearing a hijab, I do not desire her in a way that my only desire for her is good, unlike the delusional desire of seeing a girl in sexy clothing, which has lust, hate, envy, and all those evils. Why envy? Because men, scientically, and even me, might also be turned on thinking of being the one to submit or something like that, and when they see these girls of too much pride in their beauty, showing it off, we also feel a little bit jelous or something, depending on the person. I admit, I'm a little bit gay, and before, I was so gay, but not officially or publicly, maybe just discreet, and I'm fighting it. Now, that doesn't matter. I want to really follow all in Islam. Now, I'm saying this because we can relate to each other. There is hate on these girls they hurt, because they feel they are being tempted all the time, and making life hard for men to just get a wife, or sex, or those things, love? Let us place Allah in our heart. All dunya(worldy things) outside or in our hands if we want it or need it. Here is a free book in PDF called "Reclaim Your Heart". There, I learned that.

    https://learnfreewebdesigning.files....in-mogahed.pdf

    Leaders are readers. Of course, you can also be a great leader even if you're a woman.

    Be resilient, and be good to those who are bad to you. I know it's hard, but try to accept that you're mother said you are a Christian. Girl, this is a battle, and you need to be strong. There will be breaks, but remember to thank both. Everyday, we get better, just stay resilient by having faith and doing your obligation like praying. Do what you can, and persist even a little(forward, positively), for Allah certainly loves that so much, when we do that, persisting even a little. If you commit suicide, you will do that eternally in hell or whatever Allah wills. He does what he wants.

    You're a human. You makes mistakes along the way. What's important is we learn from those mistakes. Accept that and repent for your sins, for the best of those who sin are those who repent.

    YOU ARE SPECIAL AND IMPORTANT. Remember that. To me, the Muslim society, your family(believe me, even if sometimes they don't, they're just confused and your faith can help), GOD. Your parents still take care of you, that means there is still hope they love you as a parent would. They just don't want harm to befall you. They protect you because they love you. Sometimes, it would be so irrational to you, or so tightening, but have faith. We are born weak, and Allah is all source of might and strength and power. You don't need to battle everyday. Sometimes fighting would hurt others and yourself, but the true jihad is fighting the evil within us, instead of hurting others.

    Remember, you can be in love with a man, but he will never give you full completion of happiness, and you will never be contented if you seek your happiness from the dunya(worldly things) or the creation of Allah. Only Allah must be truly in your heart. Others, hand or nothing. If we rely on a man fully, he will be our God, and evil will reign in your life, if you only but know.

    As much as you can, be friends with those who have Islamic faith. Yes, there are people that have Christian friends too, and made some of their friends Muslim, but just to make things easier, go with Muslim friends so that you can mold with them. Clever people solve problems. Wise people avoid them. Still, fail like a kid again. Go on. May Allah grant us peace and forgiveness.

    Alhamdullilah.

    PS. Maybe we can blame men, but we are weak, all of us. Men should be responsible for women, for we are mostly leaders and with might. If we blame always the girls, thinking it is the right thing to do, we will be sad and fail as men, for we have been given a responsibility. Still, you must remember, that a Muslima or Muslim girl must still rely fully on Allah, not the men who are only creations.

    If you keep faith in Islam, and do good deeds(hasten on those rather than bad deeds), just follow God, his religion, then good things will come. Stay patient. Sabr. There are really challenges that will shock us, make us slip to hopelessness, and the like, things that we don't expect, but keep faith. Inshaallah, things will get better. Allah is with those who are patient and he is fast to approach you and listen to you when you remember him. He is close to you. Think of Allah much. Think of death 20 times, but leave suicide. Pray you reach the true success, Jannah. Inshaallah.
    Last edited by emem.masorong; 07-24-2018 at 09:08 AM.

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    Zzz_'s Avatar
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    Re: I'm hopeless

    As others mentioned, you can conceal your faith and keep silent if you are in danger. No need to go head on with anyone, just play it cool till you can find yourself in much safer environment. Be kind to your parents but also be on guard too, we live in a world where kuffar are killing their own family members over kfc and stuff. I don't know how old you are, but if you are old enough to move then find a muslimah roommate and move out. and if you're still a minor then try to bear it and be patience and smart about till you can get out of the situation. early marriage is also an option depending on your age.

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    Life1010's Avatar
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    Re: I'm hopeless

    thank you for your help. I hope that I will have luck in love to finally take off when the time comes. Many relatives wanted to shred me because of religion because of this help is excluded. I hope Allah assures me that I can move quickly to another environment. I'm hopeless

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    AbuAsiyah's Avatar
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    Re: I'm hopeless

    Those whom Allah Guides, no one can lead astray.

    The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Allah says: 'I am just as My slave thinks I am, (i.e. I am able to do for him what he thinks I can do for him) and I am with him if He remembers Me. If he remembers Me in himself, I too, remember him in Myself; and if he remembers Me in a group of people, I remember him in a group that is better than they; and if he comes one span nearer to Me, I go one cubit nearer to him; and if he comes one cubit nearer to Me, I go a distance of two outstretched arms nearer to him; and if he comes to Me walking, I go to him running.' " (Bukhari)

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    Duas_Revival's Avatar
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    Re: I'm hopeless

    Quote Originally Posted by Life1010 View Post
    I have the following problem: I am converted to Islam 5 years ago and my mother is a very Islamophobic person and always wants to talk me out of being a Muslim. Now we had a fight because she said at my new school I'm a Christian and that's like a slap in the face for me. Once my teacher shouted at me in the class in front of everyone because I fasted in Ramadan. In a year I'm of age but unfortunately I can not do any training because of bad chances. I was tormented very often. My Iman is like steel that's why I think a lot, but I'm very often bad, because I want to finally wear hijab and undisturbed Muslima without having to constantly hide me. From the outside I get so much pressure and relatives of mine wanted to shred me when it came out as I was Muslim. I do not want to belong to this KuffrFamilie I am constantly sad and anxious. If somebody asks me if I am muslima I'm afraid to answer alhamdulillah yes I'm so down but I love Islam too much I can not leave it because Islam saved my life and is my pride and joy.
    Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh,

    You are being tested, please be steadfast. Just like when someone enrolls into a school they are given "Exams" to test their knowledge; once we have believed we shall be tested, "Jannah" doesn't come easy.

    Allah says in Surah Baqarah Verse 155: "And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient".

    So what do we learn from this ayat? Be patient and keep asking Allah for relief.

    Do you know the power of Dua? Dua is the weapon of a believer!

    Only through the Mercy of Allah Azza Wajal we can come through our hardships. Seeking forgiveness is one of the ways to earn the mercy of Allah azza wajal. Also, did you know - One of Allah Azza Wajal name is "Ar-Raqeeb" - He is the All-and-Ever-Watchful, observing everyone's actions, thoughts, and feelings. Ar-Raqeeb is also The Controller; preserving and organizing the affairs of creation with the perfect planning!


    I'd like to kindly share this Dua for immediate cure taught to us by the Messenger of Allah Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him).





    Furthermore this video is so joyful:





















    Learn More: https://www.duasrevival.com/basics/d...stress-and-joy


    Please remember us in your Duas.

    Jazakallahu Khair,
    DR
    1 | Likes Desert liked this post

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    MazharShafiq's Avatar
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    Re: I'm hopeless

    Islam held special appeal for the depressed classes in Makkah. When members of these classes became Muslim, they also became aware that as pagans they were despised and rejected by the highly class-conscious and race-conscious aristocracy of Makkah but Islam gave them a new self-esteem. As Muslims they found a new pride in themselves

    Most of the early converts to Islam were “poor and weak.” But there were a few rich Muslims also like Hudhayfa bin Utba and Arqam bin Abil-Arqam. And all those men whom Abu Bakr brought into Islam – Uthman, Talha, Zubayr, Abdur Rahman ibn Auf, Saad ibn Abi Waqqas and Abu Obaidah ibn al-Jarrah – were also rich and powerful. They were members of the various clans of the Quraysh.

    We can assume that at the beginning, the pagan aristocrats of Makkah witnessed the efforts of Islam to win recognition, more with amusement than with irritation, not to speak of the hatred and the hysteria which gripped them a little later.

    But as the new movement began to gather momentum, they sensed that the ideas which Muhammad was broadcasting, were really “dangerous,” and there was nothing funny about them. They argued that their forefathers had worshipped idols for countless generations, therefore idolatry was right; and they could not allow Muhammad to meddle with their mode of worship.

    But Muhammad was not content merely with denouncing idolatry. Far more dangerous and frightening to the all-grasping Umayyads were his ideas of economic and social justice which threatened to pull down the fortress of their privileges; the old structure of authority and hierarchy; and all the fossilized institutions of the past. They made it clear, therefore, that privilege was something they were not going to relinquish – at any cost – come hell or high water.
    I'm hopeless


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    Life1010's Avatar
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    Re: I'm hopeless

    [QUOTE=Duas_Revival;3002786]Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh,

    You are being tested, please be steadfast. Just like when someone enrolls into a school they are given "Exams" to test their knowledge; once we have believed we shall be tested, "Jannah" doesn't come easy.

    Allah says in Surah Baqarah Verse 155: "And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient".

    So what do we learn from this ayat? Be patient and keep asking Allah for relief.

    Do you know the power of Dua? Dua is the weapon of a believer!

    Only through the Mercy of Allah Azza Wajal we can come through our hardships. Seeking forgiveness is one of the ways to earn the mercy of Allah azza wajal. Also, did you know - One of Allah Azza Wajal name is "Ar-Raqeeb" - He is the All-and-Ever-Watchful, observing everyone's actions, thoughts, and feelings. Ar-Raqeeb is also The Controller; preserving and organizing the affairs of creation with the perfect planning!


    I'd like to kindly share this Dua for immediate cure taught to us by the Messenger of Allah Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him).

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