Excuse me, but why DO I have to play by the rule while THEY DON'T?????

format_quote Originally Posted by Nájlá

Why would you want to get a free pass? You should be avoiding not to get near girls or make friendship with them.

Why is it bothering you? Pray to Allah (SWT) to bless you with a righteous wife. I'm sure you wouldn't want to get near girls who don't take their religion seriously anyway.

thank you, sister. i shouldn't just avoid girls because it's haram, but because it causes me heartbreak. sometimes suffering is as a result of our sins. or as bediuzzaman puts it, "when a sheep in a flock of sheep from a shepherd venture into a farmer's land, the farmer throws a pebble on its head. it hurts, but it now knows not to go there and eat grass elsewhere. likewise with the wise believer knows to seek his pleasure elsewhere." i know all this i just have poor impulse control, in part due to some of my disabilities such as ADHD, borderline personality disorder, OCD, anxiety, etc. in part due to the lack of control over my nafs

format_quote Originally Posted by SintoDinto

mods

ive decided to seriously edit this thread because i made gossip basically, lots of girls, either much younger than me, or slightly younger than me, have secret lovers while if i make the slightest mistake in approaching them i am reprimanded. even when i wasn't practicing or if i am practicing. and right when i entered college the ahiska turkish girls were already engaged or had a lover. and even if i so much as add them on social media, BLOCK. but other boys get a free pass. but with one girl who blocked me repeatedly as soon as i saw her in real life *hey, how are ya, happy eid* i find this rather two faced. there was even an example of a cousin having a lover with her mother and father's permission. as a 17 year old. and they made a pact since childhood. and my aunt got mad when i said i loved her before i found out. and my dad threatened me. and my grandma, said, "dont marry your cousin, your kids will end up disabled"

Brother i am a convert I had exp with girls and didnt become a good muslim even after accepting islam so i met a lot of muslims online also in many apps and then id brake their heart or they would break mine.It wouldnt go further than that no matter how much duaa id make or try.There was always smth blocking me.And i always asked why,why i have it so easy with a nonmuslim but no muslim wants me,or they who want me always have smth i dont like in them.

But in all these girls i saw later smth that wasnt there before and if i could go back in time i would never marry or think of marry any of them.Allah has kept me safe the whole time,when i was thinking if its smth wrong with me.

Feel happy that they block you or dont accept you.Be happy that a road t jahannam s closed for you.It may be that you like a thing,but it is bad for you,Allah knows it and you dont know.He is keeping you safe from all these girls who would bring you destruction.Trust me,the right girl will come at the right time,no matter how bad or good you are your rizq will come when it is decided to come.Everything that happens till then its good for you if you are patient