× Register Login What's New! Contact us
Results 1 to 13 of 13
  1. #1
    SintoDinto's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    253
    Threads
    69
    Reputation
    138
    Rep Power
    0
    Likes (Given)
    57
    Likes (Received)
    54

    Is it permissible to get married secretly if the girl's parents are racist?

    Report bad ads?

    Many ahiska turks never marry outside their ethnic group as a rule, and i heard one story of a turk and an ahiska getting married in secret. if someone wanted to marry a girl with racist parents, can they marry in secret since the parents are sinful?

  2. Report bad ads?
  3. #2
    فصيح الياسين's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    pakistan
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    444
    Threads
    4
    Reputation
    469
    Rep Power
    30
    Likes (Given)
    312
    Likes (Received)
    145

    Re: Is it permissible to get married secretly if the girl's parents are racist?

    Quote Originally Posted by SintoDinto View Post
    Many ahiska turks never marry outside their ethnic group as a rule, and i heard one story of a turk and an ahiska getting married in secret. if someone wanted to marry a girl with racist parents, can they marry in secret since the parents are sinful?
    What does secret means first kindly elaborate. Second if it means without parents permission then it will be valid marriage but she must not do it. Cuz marriage is not a child play but serious affairs and bear hardships etc.
    Is it permissible to get married secretly if the girl's parents are racist?

    قال النبي محمد صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم:*الـحياءُ شُعْبَةٌ مِنَ الاِيِمَانِ*
    و قال ايضا:*الحياء لاياتى الا بخير
    و قال ايضا:*اذا لم تستحي،فاصنع ما شئت*

  4. #3
    BeTheChange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    2,009
    Threads
    128
    Reputation
    14287
    Rep Power
    45
    Likes (Given)
    3415
    Likes (Received)
    1665

    Re: Is it permissible to get married secretly if the girl's parents are racist?

    And do you intend to do the impossible and hide your pregnant wife as well? Because after marriage comes babies insha Allah.

    Marriage is an open act of worship and should be a celebration.

    If the parents are racist approach the parents, speak to them gently and with compassion, give it time, make dua etc. eventually they will agree. If they don't then speak to your imam to see what the best resolution is.

    Mixing amongst different races isn't always about racism. Us humans are programmed to be amongst people of similar values and culture etc. Have an open mind.
    | Likes Dont.know, ardianto liked this post
    Is it permissible to get married secretly if the girl's parents are racist?

    Pain and hardships allow you to grow spiritually Alhamdulilah so smile when a so called calamity befalls upon you.
    Alhamdulilah Allah swt is the greatest.

  5. #4
    MazharShafiq's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    Pakistan
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    884
    Threads
    54
    Reputation
    987
    Rep Power
    19
    Likes (Given)
    67
    Likes (Received)
    200

    Re: Is it permissible to get married secretly if the girl's parents are racist?

    Marriage is an open act of worship and should be a celebration.

    If the parents are racist approach the parents, speak to them gently and with compassion, give it time, make dua etc. eventually they will agree. If they don't then speak to your imam to see what the best resolution is.
    Is it permissible to get married secretly if the girl's parents are racist?


  6. Report bad ads?
  7. #5
    SintoDinto's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    253
    Threads
    69
    Reputation
    138
    Rep Power
    0
    Likes (Given)
    57
    Likes (Received)
    54

    Re: Is it permissible to get married secretly if the girl's parents are racist?

    Quote Originally Posted by MazharShafiq View Post
    Marriage is an open act of worship and should be a celebration.

    If the parents are racist approach the parents, speak to them gently and with compassion, give it time, make dua etc. eventually they will agree. If they don't then speak to your imam to see what the best resolution is.
    quit plagiarizing (stealing) people's posts. your not adding anything original to the conversation. youre just taking other peoples answers and rewording them. it's annoying.

  8. #6
    azc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    7,065
    Threads
    391
    Reputation
    23332
    Rep Power
    42
    Likes (Given)
    969
    Likes (Received)
    2442

    Re: Is it permissible to get married secretly if the girl's parents are racist?

    Quote Originally Posted by SintoDinto View Post
    quit plagiarizing (stealing) people's posts. your not adding anything original to the conversation. youre just taking other peoples answers and rewording them. it's annoying.
    It means he is agree with her 100%

  9. #7
    فصيح الياسين's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    pakistan
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    444
    Threads
    4
    Reputation
    469
    Rep Power
    30
    Likes (Given)
    312
    Likes (Received)
    145

    Re: Is it permissible to get married secretly if the girl's parents are racist?

    Quote Originally Posted by SintoDinto View Post
    quit plagiarizing (stealing) people's posts. your not adding anything original to the conversation. youre just taking other peoples answers and rewording them. it's annoying.
    Dear zinto if two people answer are the same then i guess its not problem and niether good manners too . As it revokes anger and after war in teror another war starts . WAR IN POSTS
    Is it permissible to get married secretly if the girl's parents are racist?

    قال النبي محمد صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم:*الـحياءُ شُعْبَةٌ مِنَ الاِيِمَانِ*
    و قال ايضا:*الحياء لاياتى الا بخير
    و قال ايضا:*اذا لم تستحي،فاصنع ما شئت*

  10. #8
    ardianto's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Indonesia
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    8,558
    Threads
    157
    Reputation
    51593
    Rep Power
    99
    Likes (Given)
    2862
    Likes (Received)
    4808

    Re: Is it permissible to get married secretly if the girl's parents are racist?

    When I was young some people in family of a girl ever offered idea to me to get married secretly. I and the girl from that family loved each other. But there was a problem regarding to custom and tradition. Age of marriage in their community was younger than in my community. That's why they wanted me marry that girl immediately. But my mother very against it since I was still study in university. So they offered idea to marry that girl secretly, and telling my mother later after I finished my study and have a job.

    Did I accept this idea?. I could not disrecpect my mother like that. If I got married secretly, soon or later my mothe would know and would feel very disrespected.

    Getting married secretly is action of disrespecting parents. So I really do not suggest it. And I very suggest the brothers here to not make a girl disrespecting her parents through secret marriage.
    | Likes فصيح الياسين liked this post

  11. #9
    فصيح الياسين's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    pakistan
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    444
    Threads
    4
    Reputation
    469
    Rep Power
    30
    Likes (Given)
    312
    Likes (Received)
    145

    Re: Is it permissible to get married secretly if the girl's parents are racist?

    Quote Originally Posted by ardianto View Post
    When I was young some people in family of a girl ever offered idea to me to get married secretly. I and the girl from that family loved each other. But there was a problem regarding to custom and tradition. Age of marriage in their community was younger than in my community. That's why they wanted me marry that girl immediately. But my mother very against it since I was still study in university. So they offered idea to marry that girl secretly, and telling my mother later after I finished my study and have a job.

    Did I accept this idea?. I could not disrecpect my mother like that. If I got married secretly, soon or later my mothe would know and would feel very disrespected.

    Getting married secretly is action of disrespecting parents. So I really do not suggest it. And I very suggest the brothers here to not make a girl disrespecting her parents through secret marriage.
    Everyone is not same as you dear bro.. u really respected ur mother's words..
    Time changed alot. U see alot of differences. Mostly people not respects elders but the this thing occured from elders not to teach them good manners and respect thus as u sow so shall u reap...
    By the way thats off topic
    Is it permissible to get married secretly if the girl's parents are racist?

    قال النبي محمد صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم:*الـحياءُ شُعْبَةٌ مِنَ الاِيِمَانِ*
    و قال ايضا:*الحياء لاياتى الا بخير
    و قال ايضا:*اذا لم تستحي،فاصنع ما شئت*

  12. Report bad ads?
  13. #10
    SintoDinto's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    253
    Threads
    69
    Reputation
    138
    Rep Power
    0
    Likes (Given)
    57
    Likes (Received)
    54

    Re: Is it permissible to get married secretly if the girl's parents are racist?

    Quote Originally Posted by فصيح الياسين View Post
    Everyone is not same as you dear bro.. u really respected ur mother's words..
    Time changed alot. U see alot of differences. Mostly people not respects elders but the this thing occured from elders not to teach them good manners and respect thus as u sow so shall u reap...
    By the way thats off topic
    I keep having dreams that dream interpretations (including some of my own) indicate I will marry a girl without her parent's consent, at least initially. I interpreted one together with other interpretations as meaning I would wait patiently to legalize a union, but Allahu alem. I fear falling into sin. I also saw a dream whichan interpretation by the diyanet (religious directory of turkey) interpreted as meaning who it would be in particular. but let's not discuss the dreams in particular, as that is banned. EDIT: meaning that I would see a girl and then get married when her parents allow, i presume
    Last edited by SintoDinto; 02-24-2019 at 07:32 PM.

  14. #11
    SintoDinto's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    253
    Threads
    69
    Reputation
    138
    Rep Power
    0
    Likes (Given)
    57
    Likes (Received)
    54

    Re: Is it permissible to get married secretly if the girl's parents are racist?

    Quote Originally Posted by ardianto View Post
    When I was young some people in family of a girl ever offered idea to me to get married secretly. I and the girl from that family loved each other. But there was a problem regarding to custom and tradition. Age of marriage in their community was younger than in my community. That's why they wanted me marry that girl immediately. But my mother very against it since I was still study in university. So they offered idea to marry that girl secretly, and telling my mother later after I finished my study and have a job.

    Did I accept this idea?. I could not disrecpect my mother like that. If I got married secretly, soon or later my mothe would know and would feel very disrespected.

    Getting married secretly is action of disrespecting parents. So I really do not suggest it. And I very suggest the brothers here to not make a girl disrespecting her parents through secret marriage.
    Did you end up marrying the girl after college? And is she the same girl as that village girl?

  15. #12
    ardianto's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Indonesia
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    8,558
    Threads
    157
    Reputation
    51593
    Rep Power
    99
    Likes (Given)
    2862
    Likes (Received)
    4808

    Re: Is it permissible to get married secretly if the girl's parents are racist?

    Quote Originally Posted by SintoDinto View Post
    Did you end up marrying the girl after college? And is she the same girl as that village girl?
    The girl who I mentioned above was that village girl. She came from traditionalist family in traditionalist community. In that community, if a girl had left her teen age, then her value would be reduced. So a girl must get married at least in age 20/21 before her value reduced and reduced, and make her hard to get husband. That girl mother actually had planned to marry off her daughter with another guy. That’s why she rejected me in the beginning. But after long and intense approach, she allowed me to marry her daughter although her daughter must wait until I finished my study.

    Did I end up marrying that village girl?. No. Later I married another girl who I knew earlier.

    I managed to convince that girl mother to accept me (her father considered outsider since had divorced and remarried). But I failed to get approval from my mother. In my culture the guy mothers have big power. If a mother does not approve the girl who chosen by her son, it will make this girl afraid to marry her son. And if a mother like a girl, then she will force her son to choose this girl. That’s what happened. So that village girl decide d to not marry me, and I married another girl who be liked my mother.

  16. #13
    CuriousonTruth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    419
    Threads
    26
    Reputation
    207
    Rep Power
    5
    Likes (Given)
    13
    Likes (Received)
    87

    Re: Is it permissible to get married secretly if the girl's parents are racist?

    Quote Originally Posted by ardianto View Post
    The girl who I mentioned above was that village girl. She came from traditionalist family in traditionalist community. In that community, if a girl had left her teen age, then her value would be reduced. So a girl must get married at least in age 20/21 before her value reduced and reduced, and make her hard to get husband. That girl mother actually had planned to marry off her daughter with another guy. That’s why she rejected me in the beginning. But after long and intense approach, she allowed me to marry her daughter although her daughter must wait until I finished my study.

    Did I end up marrying that village girl?. No. Later I married another girl who I knew earlier.

    I managed to convince that girl mother to accept me (her father considered outsider since had divorced and remarried). But I failed to get approval from my mother. In my culture the guy mothers have big power. If a mother does not approve the girl who chosen by her son, it will make this girl afraid to marry her son. And if a mother like a girl, then she will force her son to choose this girl. That’s what happened. So that village girl decide d to not marry me, and I married another girl who be liked my mother.
    Sounds a lot like arab family, where the mother has a lot of power in such decision making. In the subcontinent, it's the father.

    And in terms of marrying secretly and eloping, it's overwhelmingly done by girls, not by guys in the indian subcontinent.


  17. Hide
Hey there! Is it permissible to get married secretly if the girl's parents are racist? Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Is it permissible to get married secretly if the girl's parents are racist?
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 19
    Last Post: 08-29-2013, 10:52 PM
  2. When is it permissible to disobey parents?
    By frogga in forum Miscellaneous
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 03-15-2011, 09:12 AM
  3. Can a girl get married without parents permission???
    By Hamza786 in forum Miscellaneous
    Replies: 75
    Last Post: 06-02-2007, 02:28 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
create