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  1. #1
    SintoDinto's Avatar
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    Jan 2019
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    Is it true that before marriage....

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    my mother has suggested for me a wife who lives abroad, but it is in its early stages right now. i am not yet to meet her, but rather my mother is friends with her mother and knows the girl, and believes she would be a good match. she says i must get a job to pay for my college and i believe i should do it to get some job experience before my internship. (after college i plan on working as a non riba based actuary or non financial economics job like in computers with data, and then building up capital and either becoming a full time investor or starting a business). i also will then meet her, and possibly marry, but it is all just speculation. i read somewhere that before getting married a man can look at his spouse to be's legs and hair, to see if he is attracted to her. i am not trolling, i heard this on an islamic site. i need sources, cause my parents and culture are a bit less based on daleel. i did hear a man has the right to look athis spouse, but isn't this the case if he is talking to her? or does this mean he has the right to talk to her? i find this idea strange because i don't know what my rights are, and i need evidence against my mother's "common sense" which is usually just saying no to everything unless she sees you as suffering unjustly or overburdering yourself. i also thought the awrah was awrah even to a fiancee until the wedding night. could someone please clarify?

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    MazharShafiq's Avatar
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    Re: Is it true that before marriage....

    The view of the scholars is that engagement is prescribed for one who wants to get married. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “And there is no sin on you if you make a hint of betrothal…”

    [al-Baqarah 2:235]

    and it was narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) got engaged to ‘Aa’ishah. (Al-Bukhaari, al-Nikaah, 4793). And in al-Saheeh it also states that the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) got engaged to Hafsah. (Al-Bukhaari, al-Nikaah, 4830).

    The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged the one who wants to get engaged to look at the woman to whom he wishes to propose. According to the hadeeth, “When any one of you proposes marriage to a woman, if he can look at that which will encourage him to go ahead and marry her, then let him do so.” (Abu Dawood, al-Nikaah, 2082; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 1832).
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