I have older sibling (30s-40s) who continue to do as they please. Me and my mother have tried for years to get them to live a more Islamic life style. Me personally, I feel like my mom should have given up a long time ago as they are no longer young kids, but she continues to put herself through these stressful situations and it's honestly messing up her health. I feel really bad for her and I continue to tell her to let them live their lives the way they want to. To make matters worse, anytime they have problems, they come to my mom's house to rub their problems onto her and then they go back to doing the same thing. I'm not telling her to disown them, but I want her to try and separate herself from their problems. Is me telling her to separate herself from them bad advice? At what point is it permissible (if at all?) for a parent to let their kids 'go'? My dad has verbally expressed himself, but the problem is they keep going to my mother because she is always willing to listen where as my dad has more of a straight forward response and doesn't want to hear any of it.
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Re: Advice for parent with adult children on the wrong path
It's always been a mother's feeling. Always feel like being responsible and giving endless care to their children.
There's nothing wrong telling that to your mother, you just want the good for her. But it against her motherhood.
I have a (not a sibling, but a cousin) who is exactly like him. He lost both parents and now my mom just like a mother for him, like giving advices and even giving permission and marry him to a girl.
He used to be so stubborn and uncontrollable. Get into troubles so many times. Not a yelling and tears can stop him. She was stress herself because of him, even he's not a child to her.
So my mom just pray that someday he could change. There's no more yelling. She just given it up to Allah.
Re: Advice for parent with adult children on the wrong path
If this was my family, I would've said the same to my mother. Your siblings are adults, they are held responsible of their actions. Your parents have tried, but as humans, we can only do so much.
Allah is the best to guide. keep making dua for His guidance. InshaAllah your siblings will be guided
Jabir bin 'Abdullah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w) said:'A slave (of Allah) shall not believe until he believes in Al-Qadar, its good and its bad, such that he knows that what struck him would not have missed him, and that what missed him would not have struck him." (Jami 'at Tirmidhi)
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