Not sure how to deal with practicing conservative Islam in a modernist family

Qur'an 6:119:

Why should you not eat of what is slaughtered in Allah’s Name when He has already explained to you what He has forbidden to you—except when compelled by necessity? Many ˹deviants˺ certainly mislead others by their whims out of ignorance. Surely your Lord knows the transgressors best.

Qur'an 9:115:

Allah would never consider a people deviant after He has guided them, until He makes clear to them what they must avoid. Surely Allah has ˹full˺ knowledge of everything.

The God guided you all and told you what is prohibited. Those who are adding something which is not prohibited by the Lord to the "don't do that" list which you call "haram", are going off the straight path.

Honestly, you are unnecessarily dividing your families and friends!

Read both Holy Bible and Qur'an and then you will understand. Only there is a knowledge from the God you seek.

All free-time activities such as watching films, listening to music, playing etc. are allowed, only if the believer does not forget to complete his daily duty, for example to pray to the One God.

From what I understand, it's the same in regards to the topic of marriage. Staying single is not haram, but many will say it's discouraged even if you are capable of staying away from zina. I believe the same goes for the beard. I don't believe it is haram to shave it, but it is discouraged.

It being haram/halal is beyond my understanding, but I try to grow mine simply because it is a sunnah and there is no effort in growing it. Allow it to grow and that's it. Easy enough. Whether people like it or not is their problem to be quite honest. You should not have to feel discouraged by your family or anyone for trying to follow the sunnah.

format_quote Originally Posted by DogLover

Qur'an 6:119:

Why should you not eat of what is slaughtered in Allah’s Name when He has already explained to you what He has forbidden to you—except when compelled by necessity? Many ˹deviants˺ certainly mislead others by their whims out of ignorance. Surely your Lord knows the transgressors best.

Qur'an 9:115:

Allah would never consider a people deviant after He has guided them, until He makes clear to them what they must avoid. Surely Allah has ˹full˺ knowledge of everything.

The God guided you all and told you what is prohibited. Those who are adding something which is not prohibited by the Lord to the "don't do that" list which you call "haram", are going off the straight path.

Honestly, you are unnecessarily dividing your families and friends!

Read both Holy Bible and Qur'an and then you will understand. Only there is a knowledge from the God you seek.

All free-time activities such as watching films, listening to music, playing etc. are allowed, only if the believer does not forget to complete his daily duty, for example to pray to the One God.

Or maybe his family is the one causing division? Someone who wants to follow the sunnah should not feel shamed or discouraged to do so, especially by other Muslims. Your blanket statement of all free time activities being allowed is anything but true.

Akhi, I am going through the same dilemma. My advice is, don't let it bother you, because Allah is in charge at the end of the day. Would you give up your afterlife, and the rewards of jannah or higher levels of jannah for what your family has to say, when on the jugement day every soul is looking out for itself, to the point that a mother will throw her infant on the ground? Just continue to practice, and inshaAllah your family will be guided, continue to make dua for them. I know the struggle. If you're pleasing Allah, what other people think is irrelevant. As someone else said, the Prophet saws said, "Islam began as something strange and it will return as something strange so glad tidings to the strangers"

All free-time activities such as watching films, listening to music, playing etc. are allowed, only if the believer does not forget to complete his daily duty, for example to pray to the One God.

Simply not true, many films involve mixing, music, foul language, women half naked, drugs, alcohol, anti-religious scenes

Music, our prophet told us music is haram.

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Among my ummah there will certainly be people who permit zinaa, silk, alcohol and musical instruments…” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari ta’leeqan, no. 5590; narrated as mawsool by al-Tabaraani and al-Bayhaqi. See al-Silsilah al-Saheehah by al-Albaani, 91).

I do agree that in halal things such as playing soccer maybe or going to the gym, yes this is allowed as low as you are fulfilling your obligations but the stuff you mentioned above is all haram so please do not mislead people without any research on the topic.

format_quote Originally Posted by keiv

From what I understand, it's the same in regards to the topic of marriage. Staying single is not haram, but many will say it's discouraged even if you are capable of staying away from zina. I believe the same goes for the beard. I don't believe it is haram to shave it, but it is discouraged.

If it was just a sunnah I would have at the least trimmed it in order to avoid fights in my family over it but sadly it is not.

Shaving the beard is haraam because of the saheeh ahaadeeth that clearly state this, and because of the general application of texts that forbid resembling the kuffaar. One of these reports is the hadeeth of Ibn ‘Umar who said that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Be different from the mushrikeen: let your beards grow and trim your moustaches.” According to another report: “Trim your moustaches and let your beards grow.”

All 4 schools of thought say its haram, only the late Shafi figures say it is "disliked" even though Imam Shafi himself said its haram. Despite the fact that the official position of the Shafi‘i school is that shaving one’s beard is disliked, many prominent Shafi‘is (al-Halimi among the early Shafi‘is and al-Adhra‘i, Ibn al-Rif‘ah, Zayn al-Din al-Malibari, and Ibn Ziyad among the later ones) have taken the opinion that it is forbidden. So even with Shafi school their is a difference of opinion.

It terms of scholars wise, Ibn Hazm, not sure if you know but he is one of the greatest scholars when it comes to difference of opinion, reported that there was scholarly consensus that it is an obligation (fard) to trim the moustache and let the beard grow. Other scholars that say it is haram are, Ibn Taymiyah, Al-Nawawi, ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen, Shaykh Ibn Baaz, and many more...

If you are upon the Shafi madhab yes I could see why you would shave it, but general view is that its not permissible and Allah knows best.

This quote about inventions is not the word from the One God. These sentences belongs to the politician and soldier who had 13 wifes for political reason. He is not the God. There is only One God, nothing more. Only 40 hadiths are words from the Lord. This one is definitely not. I respect both Holy Bible and Qur'an, but I definitely cannot accept over 200 000 hadiths from different people who says that almost everything is illegal. And until today there are massive discussions about halal/haram classification.

One of the most controversial quotes I have ever read.

Abdulah97, before adding my post I researched further information. What I see is that Muslims generally don't know what is precisely legal and illegal. There are some Muslims who says that watching films is completely illegal, but there is an opinion that it is legal if it will not disrupt daily duties. There are several other dilemma and discussions about halal/haram classification. Who is right then, I don't know. If you were right, well, all things I do today would be, in your opinion, "haram", also not permitted. If I was right, I would be relieved that I would not hurt any Muslim by my doing.

I don't want to mislead anyone. If it looks different, then my apologies. May the Lord be with all of you.

The Prophet’s Sunnah is the second source of Islamic sharee‘ah. The revelation came down to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) with the Sunnah as it came down to him with the Qur’an. Allah, may He be exalted, has enjoined upon the believers complete submission to the words of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and his hadith and rulings, to the extent that He, may He be glorified, swore by His divine self that whoever hears the words of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), then rejects them and does not accept them, has nothing to do with faith at all. Hence there was consensus among the scholars that whoever denies that the Sunnah constitutes shar‘i evidence in general terms, or rejects a hadith of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him – knowing that it is the words of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) – is a disbeliever, who has not attained even the lowest level of Islam and submission to Allah and His Messenger.

As Muslims we abide by the Quran and the Sunnah of the prophet PBUH. The Sunnah of the prophet PBUH is extrapolated from the ahadeeth, for example the Quran tells us to pray, but doesn't tell us details such as, "pray 5 times a day at this time, for fajr only pray 2 rakah, for duhr pray 4, sit in 2nd rakah etc..."

The science of hadith is extraordinary, it uses a chain of narrators, which allows us to see if its a sahih (authentic) hadith by the prophet PBUH or fabricated, the same cannot be said for other religions. Allah in the Quran tells us to obey him and obey the prophet, and we obey the prophet from his sunnah which again is extrapolated from hadith.

What I see is that Muslims generally don't know what is precisely legal and illegal. There are some Muslims who says that watching films is completely illegal, but there is an opinion that it is legal if it will not disrupt daily duties.

Muslims when it comes to the pillars of Islam and Quran know whats halal and haram. For example, Allah in Quran tells us not to eat pork, so almost every Muslim knows that its haram to eat pork their is no confusion here.

But then their are what Muslims call "minor sins" when it comes to things such as movies, music, beard, cursing etc... Some of these minor sins are not mentioned in Quran directly but are mentioned in hadith. Some know that these are sins regardless of major or minor while others do not know due to lack of knowledge. For example, I always saw my family listen to music so I thought it was okay, but when I gained knowledge on the topic I learned it was haram.

Yes their are topics that Muslims are not sure if they are haram or halal and they disagree over them, but we are commanded to refer to Quran and Sunnah when this happens. For example the issue of growing a beard. Some Muslims are of the view that its optional, this is their default answer basically, but they don't bother to spend some time referring to all instances where the beard is mentioned in hadith or learning what the majority or consensus of scholars say on the topic. Some Muslims like to go with a minority view or do what we call "fatwa shopping" to satisfy whims and desires. At the end of the day, Allah knows our intentions and he will deal with each and every one of us based off our actions and intentions.

Learning from the scholars as well is what solves a lot of confusion and Allah knows best.

In regards to watching film, if the Muslim who is confused does a little research on the topic he will come to know that as long as the movie doesn't have nudity, music, anti-religious messages then its okay to watch it as along as he does his obligations to Allah.

There are several other dilemma and discussions about halal/haram classification. Who is right then, I don't know. If you were right, well, all things I do today would be, in your opinion, "haram", also not permitted.

Yes as a layman their is definitely confusion when it comes to "minor sins", thats why the solution here is to refer back to Quran, Sunnah, and the scholars and in shaa Allah that dilemma is solved.

Thats the method I personally prefer at least, I refer to Quran, Hadith and look at the majority view of the scholars and the four schools of thought and take the majority position, not the minority position.

For example I know many layman that are Hanafi or Shafi or other schools of thought and they just follow their school and that way they are not put in situations where they say "is this haram or halal" but can refer to their school of thought and see what they say on the topic.

I feel that metaphoric punch into my face. Twice.

This post may be my last at this thread. I want to thank you for your replies. I can agree with most arguments and disagree with some. About pork, it is clear. About creating hadiths it is clear.

About "minor sins" the status is still unclear because of some scholars exists, which opinion about the "halal/haram" classification is different between them. But thanks to your advice, after further and deeper research the problem should be solved.

It is a shocking thing that inventions at all can be interpreted as a going astray. Without inventions, we would know less about our world. Thanks to inventions we can have a better life. It us confusing that God is pleased to those who seek more knowledge about our world but in hadiths inventions are being criticised. Or I just miss the true meaning of these quotes.

Nevertheless I'll search deeper to find some further information about hadiths. Not only those 40 hadiths called "qudsi", but more of them.

May the God be with you.

Disclaimer:
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The Catholic Church and the God Himself does not mention anything about Christians reading hadiths and to obey them. From this perspective I did nothing wrong, so I just cannot be classified as a disbeliever. The God, as Qur'an says, have one message to the Christian community, just to stop using the "Trinity" word. The Lord allows Christianity and Islam (Jewish too!). Christians who obeys Holy Bible and will listen this message from Qur'an, have, as Qur'an says, the chance to go to heaven in afterlife as Muslims who obeys rules from Qur'an. Furthermore, the God is pleased to our priests. The question is, if the Christian should read and obey hadiths or not. Please do not send me an answer to it here. Maybe I'll create a discussion about this topic, if I can create it. End of disclaimer.

format_quote Originally Posted by DogLover

It is a shocking thing that inventions at all can be interpreted as a going astray. Without inventions, we would know less about our world. Thanks to inventions we can have a better life. It us confusing that God is pleased to those who seek more knowledge about our world but in hadiths inventions are being criticised. Or I just miss the true meaning of these quotes.

It is about invention in religion, adding or subtracting anything from Islam. Not the scientific inventions which have nothing to do with religion.