I don't like emotions. I like logic. Logic can be calculated and analyzed. I am not good with emotions, especially love. Here we go again. I am going to enter into a profession soon (phlebotomy) and ditched the idea of becoming a doctor and decided to become a nurse, while working as a phlebotomist, (and possibly a lab assistant). and my mother was going to get me married to a nice traditional girl (not known at the moment) within 6 months of me getting my first job (hasn't happened yet but in 5 weeks or so). all was well. then i got all nostalgic and lovey dovey about a girl, 5 years younger than me mind you, (I'm 23) so shes not going to be able to get married for a while. i told my mom she got mad saying when i was a teen i harassed her father about the right to talk to her older sister (who probably hates me or just sees me as annoying and i dont like now and might even dislike) but the man has since forgiven me and whe i asked his closest friend if i had a chance with marrying into his family, he said, "how should i know, if you have that intention ask him yourself!!!!!" this led to a fierce argument and a taboo on the subject. i told a family friend he said to tell her nicely and respectfully because my mom probably is trying to protect me but doesn't understand it's old news. do i need my mom's permission to marry in islam? practically, not as a fatwa, and bare in mind shes my main supporter most of my family has either abandoned me or hates me due to my mental health struggles. my father is completely absent.
Re: Should I marry sooner or marry the girl I am infatuated with?
As Salam alaykum wa rahmatuAllahi wa barakaatahu
Bismillah was salatu wa salam alaa nabiiyuna Muhammed wa alaa alihi wa ashabihi ajmaeen.
The best advise I can give you is to ask a scholar. Preferably to sit with him and discuss your issue. If you cannot find one try the most pious person you know of. Otherwise call the scholars by phone. The best and most are the Arabic speaking scholars. So maybe you can ask someone to help translate if you don't know Arabic.
Otherwise you may continue you search on the Internet but it is an important matter so try and get all the information and never take any important decision without salat ul istikhrara and consulting very pious people.
Your question made me look for the following:
Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “A woman is married for four (reasons): her wealth, noble ancestry, beauty and religion. Choose the religious woman lest your hand is stuck to dust (because of destitution).” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Noble ancestry results from the good deeds of a man and his forefathers. However, it is construed as wealth in a Marfoo‘ Hadeeth (a narration that is directly attributed to the Prophet including his words, acts, or explicit approval, regardless of the condition of its chain of narrators). It was narrated by At-Tirmithi who classified it as Hasan (good) on the authority of Samurah, may Allah be pleased with him: “Noble ancestry results from wealth, and honor from piety.”
However, wealth is not the intended meaning in this particular Hadeeth (narration), for it is mentioned separately along with it, and this indicates that the former meaning is intended.
The saying: “…lest your hand is stuck to dust (because of destitution)”, is customary speech; thereby the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, did not intend a supplication. Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said, "A marriageable woman should have these two merits; I mean the woman who is characterized by both physical and spiritual beauty.
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