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Breaking Down Slowly...Please Help

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    Breaking Down Slowly...Please Help (OP)


    Salaam all,

    I dont know where to start...

    I got an arranged marriage where the rishta was found via matrimonial site but the decision to proceed was only done by me. My mother, brother, and sister werent happy.

    Anyways,
    My wife arrived in the UK after my marriage with her 2 weeks ago. And ever since she arrived issues starting happening. On her second day, my wife started cleaning, cooking, washing and the rest of the general household things that happens. My sister, who is also married comes and sees my mum everyday from the morning till the evening. From the second day my sister started telling me that shes not good enough for you and how I could have done better. I replied saying that its all done now and allah knows best. My sister also said that my wife doesn't know how to clean properly, nor she is good in cooking and even though she has done masters she still is backward and is good for nothing and how you have ruined your life and your mums by getting married to her. My mum also isn't happy. On a day to day basis when my wife cooks them fresh food this includes fresh chapatthi gives them all (brother, sister and my mother)
    breakfast, lunch and dinner and on top of that cleans the house..

    One day when my wife was cleaning the house I get a text at work from my sister how my wife is good for nothing and how my sister has to clean again as my wife doesnt clean properly. This torture happened for 2 weeks until yesterday:

    So, we were invited for lunch along side my sisters in laws to my uncles house where all went well but the usual teasing to my wife on how her skin has broken out with redness, her weight etc anything that my sister could found she taunts but in the NAME OF MY MOTHER BECAUSE MY MUM ISN'T H AT ALL.

    My uncle noticed that nor does my mum or my sister had any interaction with my wife but kept quiet. In the evening I had made plans to take my mother sister to watch a film but I also invited my sister couple of days ago. I asked my sister at my uncles house if she was still interested in going. She said no. So I booked tickets for myself, mum and wife.

    By then, we had arrived home to get changed and to go and watch the film. Suddenly, my sister rings my mother and I dont know what she said but my mum said to cancel her ticket. I said mum it cant be cancelled she said to my sister on the phone that tickets cant be cancelled. Anyway, we went to the cinema and watched the film and came home all happy.

    The next morning (sunday) I woke up said salaam to my mum in her room. Then my sister phone came and I see that my mum starts crying. I took the phone from my mum and asked my sister what has happened. My sister said "I got nothing to do with you anymore" I was like what has happened? Can you tell me she said "no nothing has happened just don't want anything to do with you" I asked my mum what has happened she said nothing and how i should go away. I started saying what has happened if you don't tell me then how am I meant to know. I said to my mum I know my sister has said something and due to this my mother is being moody. My mother replied saying "why have u become ur sisters enemy and how my wife has taught me this" my wife came and said "mum I have not taught him anything i just don't know what i do wrong that your doing this" Anyways my mum got angry and left the house I went back to get her but she refused to come with me. So, I got in the car with my wife and went out to look for her and then I find her at the bus stop.

    I stopped the car and cried and said how I want her to sit in the car but she refused. There was another women with her child. I told her that my mum is angry with me and how I want her forgiveness. I went down on my knees and said sorry if I have made any mistake but my mother refused to accept it and sat on the bus and in anger I punched the bus seat.

    I then didn't know what to do my wife was crying and so was I. We decided to go to uncles house where I told him all the situation and he said how this is normal and I need to face this and make a stand for myself and my wife. During this my sister was ringing me and so was my brother I refused to pick there calls up and nor did my wife. I then get a message saying where is mum. I replied stating that she is coming to my sisters (your) house. After some times I rang my mother but she didn't pick up her calls. I kept ringing and she eventually did. I asked where is she and she said home. So we also decided to go home.

    Both myself and wife sat on the sofa and my mother said "I don't want anything to do with your life so I don't
    want you or your wife to speak to me" I replied what is it that you want mum if you don't tell me how am I meant to fix it. By then my younger brother came and said why am I shouting at my mother I said I am going crazy here I am getting punished for something I dont know the reason for. Things started heating up more when my brother came as he started shouting too. I said to him you need to behave and told my mum is this what you want me to go through the fact that my younger brother is going to speak infront of me. My mother remained quiet. Anyways, I fumed and said to both my mum and brother
    that this is my wife and she has every right to live here. My brother then replied in anger how he will slap her and kick her out. I replied by saying that you cant kick her out until I am alive. Now I didnt want to say all this stuff but I only did coz my uncle said I need to take a stand or else things will get out of hand.

    My mother then said to my and my wife how she has no room for us anymore and how we should leave. (even though this house is mine and I have been paying mortgage and ever since my father left us i been supporting my family this includes everything, food, mortgage, bills, holidays anything that my sister, brother or mum wanted) Anyways I said ok and got in the car and went to see my other uncle. He told me to come to his house which we did and I explained all the situation. He said lets go home I drove and we went home. My mother said to me that you are finished for me and I said why mum because I said that my wife is my wife this is just like me saying my brother is my brother.

    My uncle also convinced my mother and said to my brother and sister hw they are younger to me and should behave. I then went and bought food for my mother from her fav place. Grabbed her feet and kissed and said how I am really sorry If I have hurt you. She is speaking to me and my wife now but not properly. My uncle said to me how my sister shouldn't come to see mum 7 days a week as things get worse.

    I am lost and slowly breaking down with this all family issues what do i do where do I go?

  2. #21
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    brightness_1
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    Re: Breaking Down Slowly...Please Help

    Report bad ads?

    Your mother isn't the one who is married to this woman - you are. I suggest you move out. After a few months they will call you to move back in as they can't afford to pay the bills.

    Edit: your mother and sister*
    Last edited by Reminder; 12-11-2016 at 08:53 AM.
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