Kinda have a ques :o

when i 1st got into islaam, my family wasnt very pleased with the stuff i busted out with, like they were typical pakistanians, like khatam doin, and that, especially my uncle, so i would have a lot of disagreements, but now subhanallah with the help of Allah (swt) my immediate family is all sorted, if you get what i mean, and my uncle is still his same old self, may Allah (swt) bless him, so it was hard for me at 1st, but i believe gentleness, like my uncle was very harsh on me lol, and i wouldnt listen to him, but harshness aint the way,

in a relationship, if my wife had different aqeedah then me, i would show her my evidence, and then she could produce hers, and then you weigh it up, because there is only one islaam, not billions, only one islaam, minor differences are ok, but differences which are shirky and bidahtyy then thats not ok, so when talkin to your spouse, it should be done with gentleness and inshallah you can show them evidence, its not about convincin or forcin your way on them, its about showin them the truth and stuff, anyway im blabbin on here so

format_quote Originally Posted by JσℓιєFℓєυя

For sisters, well what do you think? :blind:

WassalamuAlaykum

hmmm....depends really...i mean if u mean differing beliefs like grave worshipping...then noooo

ermmm difference of opinion...eg through mathhabs, perhaps...u know maybe if the differences are based on a knowledgeable person in this case the 4 imams

im not sure, i can be so stubborn ...ermm the thing id be a lil worried and hesitant about is that i would feel so sure about something but that if the guy were doing the opposite to that and he felt strong about that opinion...and i think that may cause a strong tension between us...get me...i cant always accept the opposite opinion maybe sometimes...but its sometimes scary too as i strongly believe its right... i dno maybe i lack understanding...

Bottom line: if i feel that there's gna be a big difference in the belief,than thats gna be a BIG problem for me... So no

and also id fear for my kids...you know what they grow up beliving and all...if i feel something is wrong...i cant teach them that believing its wrong...

format_quote Originally Posted by Ramlah

opinion...and i think that may cause a strong tension between us...get me...i cant always accept the opposite opinion maybe sometimes...but its sometimes scary too as i strongly believe its right... i dno maybe i lack understanding...

and also id fear for my kids...you know what they grow up beliving and all...if i feel something is wrong...i cant teach them that believing its wrong...

JazakAllah khayr sis, I feel the same at some things

Sometimes when I believe something I give it all I have and no matter how much I'm persuaded, I find it difficult to change opinions. Wallahu A'lam

Would you marry somebody who had diff beliefs to you? i.e. On several things such as Tawassul, waseelah etc etc...

On anything major - no way. For example, if a sister considers making Dua' to other than Allaah as permissible, I wouldn't marry her.

However, on less serious matters, matters in which differences are permissible, I wouldn't mind compromising. The key I think in any potential spouse is that they need to be balanced, and open to learning. If a person keeps an open mind, and is not a bigot towards or against one view or one personality it would be great (speaking generally in the terms of Fiqh, as theology differences cannot be in any major issues such as tawheed, sifaat of Allaah etc). This is saying, for me personally, if I could find a sister that has a similar mindset and her understanding of Islaam and more works with mine, i.e. we're compatible in that sense - I would marry her.

Just because they are so stubbornly fixed to their views and don't want to listen to your daleel.

With all due respect to you sister, I would find it quite arrogant if a person were to assume that they have encompassed all the available dalail (which is vast) in order to decide based on some usool (which they probably even haven't studied) that such and such a ruling is correct! In fact, I don't think a scholar would even dare to say that he's encompassed all the available dalail! That, in my opinion is a very simplistic understanding and it ignores the efforts put in by our past scholars to come up with rulings. The madahib are valid in their usool, and their opinions are valid (not necassarily correct, but really that would take us years of studying to decide what is and what isn't correct) so there begs the question of tolerance. After all, even Ibn Taymiyyah and Ibn Qayyim came from madhabs.

^ ahaa and my respected akhee comes making sense,


jazakAllaah khair this thread needed it

format_quote Originally Posted by Abu Sayyad

If a person keeps an open mind, and is not a bigot towards or against one view or one personality it would be great (speaking generally in the terms of Fiqh, as theology differences cannot be in any major issues such as tawheed, sifaat of Allaah etc)..

JazakAllahu Khayran Akhee. This and several other posts in this thread are what I needed

WassalamuAlaykum

so many times i was close to posting a huge essay...

but seriously i feel sick now, cant believe people consider hanafi/salafi like two different religions.


.... feel extremely sick...

so many times i was close to posting a huge essay...

Please do Akhee.

I need it.

If not at least PM it me please.

format_quote Originally Posted by JσℓιєFℓєυя

Please do Akhee.

I need it.

If not at least PM it me please.

lemme ask you what would be the MAIN problem in marrying a hanafi? answer this and we'll continue the discussion inshaAllaah



bare patiently with me, i have a point here

or wanna take this to pms? upto you

To marry someone or not - due to slight different beliefs (while being same religion), beliefs which do not nullify ones Islam is indeed a very unjust thing.

These days, it will probably be hard to find 2 people agreeing on all the thousands of issues exactly the same - considering many valid opinions hold for alot of the areas. Even if 2 people are of the same madhab, it is possible to have slight differences.

If you do not believe that their beliefs put them out of the fold of Islam, it should not matter 1 bit.

Also, as you mentioned "Tawassul, waseelah ", I should note that, you should not judge things as shirk, when their is so much evidence and scholar backing on such issues - even if you do not wish to practice it for whatever reason - atleast be open minded and know just how much respectable scholars and schools have permitted these. I understand if however, it was somthing like believing in an incomplete Qur'an.

What I meant was that people following madhhabs tend to believe in what their Imam has said even if clear evidence comes to them (eg from hadith) opposing that view

You also miss the point, of the new style of - posting hadiths without context, that has arisen, and has caused many muslims to leave madhabs - as if they think of themselves as scholars and can rule on such issues. Maybe you should note that, madhabis probably noted the hadiths - if your not a scholar, you should not look at a hadith posted on some site as reason to change your beliefs. Also, I do hope, people trust imaams rather than probable teenagers who had a flick through Bukhari and muslim, or those who have restricted their research to sites like islam-QA, and have ignored huge majority opinions.

*EMPHASISED*

format_quote Originally Posted by SixTen

To marry someone or not - due to slight different beliefs (while being same religion), beliefs which do not nullify ones Islam is indeed a very unjust thing.

These days, it will probably be hard to find 2 people agreeing on all the thousands of issues exactly the same - considering many valid opinions hold for alot of the areas. Even if 2 people are of the same madhab, it is possible to have slight differences.

If you do not believe that their beliefs put them out of the fold of Islam, it should not matter 1 bit.

Also, as you mentioned "Tawassul, waseelah ", I should note that, you should not judge things as shirk, when their is so much evidence and scholar backing on such issues - even if you do not wish to practice it for whatever reason - atleast be open minded and know just how much respectable scholars and schools have permitted these. I understand if however, it was somthing like believing in an incomplete Qur'an.



You also miss the point, of the new style of - posting hadiths without context, that has arisen, and has caused many muslims to leave madhabs - as if they think of themselves as scholars and can rule on such issues.

*EMPHASISED*



differences will happen no matter what really, it happened between the sahabis, it happened between the tabieen, it happened between ashari maturidi and ibn taymiyyah, and it'll continue happening.

hold onto laa ilaaha illallaah to the end, thats whats important

format_quote Originally Posted by Sanam

No brother they aren't two different religions. but I'm sure you're aware that they have many differences that can lead to marriage breakdown. I personally know so many marriages that ended disastrously because of the differences. for example Salafis consider it improtant to have a wali for a woman but Hanafis don't, Nikkah is invalid without a wali in Salafi belief and it is valid according to hanafi belief.

So don't consider it to be very unimportant subject when dealing with such marriages.

In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,




The short and simple answer to your question is that: No, the Hanafi School does not, in any way, promote or encourage a marriage without the approval of one’s parents or a legal guardian (wali).

To elaborate: It is a common misconception that the Hanafi School unreservedly allows a marriage without the consent of the woman’s parents or her guardian (wali). However, the matter is not as simple as that, and one must understand the Hanafi position properly before coming to any sort of conclusion.

In contrast to the position of most other scholars including the three Sunni Schools of Islamic law, the Hanafi School indeed has some leeway in regards to the necessity of obtaining the consent of the woman’s guardian. The relied upon position within the School is that the marriage of a free, sane and adult woman without the approval of her guardian (wali) is valid if the person she is marrying is a “legal” and suitable match (kuf’) to her. Conversely, if the person she is marrying is not a legal match to her, then her marriage is considered invalid. (Radd al-Muhtar ala ‘l-Durr al-Mukhtar 3/56-57 & I’la al-Sunan 11/69. For more details and the relevant evidences, please refer to the answer previously posted on this website titled: “Divorced woman marrying without her guardian’s approval”).

However, this does not mean that such a marriage is encouraged or permitted without any blame. Disobeying one’s parents is one of the most serious of sins in Islam, and as such, no School would, and can, allow going against the wishes of one’s parents outright. Many Hanafi jurists (fuqaha) have pointed out that it is generally blameworthy and going against the Sunnah to marry without the consent of the Wali regardless of whether the spouse is a legal match or otherwise due to the many Hadiths of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) emphasising the importance of having the approval of one’s guardian such as: “Any woman who marries without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, invalid, invalid” (related by Ibn Hibban, Tirmidhi and others, and Tirmidhi considered it a sound/hasan Hadith) and: “There is no marriage without the [permission of a] guardian” (related by Hakim and Abu Dawud). (See: Imdad al-Muftin P: 527)

As such, this Hanafi position is merely a concession (rukhsa) which may be resorted to in situations of need, and a blessing for those sisters who fall victim to their parent’s mistreatment and abuse. In cases where parents force their daughters to marry against their wishes based purely on caste, wealth and other similar preferences, and not Islam, and they give importance to their personal gains over and above the interests of their daughters; this position of the Hanafi School can be an important haven. However, the Hanafi School, in no way, gives a green light for sisters to marry themselves without parental approval in all situations, and as such, this position must not be taken as a standard norm upon which marriage contracts are based.

Thus, a woman must first try and convince her parents or Wali to allow her to marry according to her wishes. She may use the intermediary of someone who may be able to influence her parents. Despite trying, if her parents are still being difficult, and her wish is to marry someone based on religious piety, she should present her case to a knowledge, wise and god-fearing scholar who may be able to advise whether she may marry without her guardian’s approval or not.

And Allah knows best



Muhammad ibn Adam
Darul Iftaa
Leicester , UK

lol

Lol I hope this thread doesnt get mashed now. I dint need it anymore alhamdulillah

WassalamuAlaykum