What would you do in this situation? Need help...

**.Amatullah.** · 09-17-2008

everyone,

Im so upset. I dont think anyone can imagine how upset i am! My best friend, who I loved and dearly cared for told me something that shattered me! She was someone whom i trusted so much. she was like a sister! but today she tells me that she had a boyfriend for a short while, but has broken up with him. she really regrets what she did, and i know that. But now, i dont know what to do. I am going to speak to her properly and help her get back to her good ways, but I was also writing her a letter, telling her exactly how I feel about what she did,and what effect it had on me(eg really upset me- even think that I cant trust her anymore etc). but i dont know - should I write to her this letter, and let her read it, or am i being too harsh.will she still trust me,and know that i will always be there for her (which i will be iA) or will she think that i hate her, and just leave it.

oh yh, i was really trying to get her to be a better muslim - but know i dont know what to think

Please,could you give advice on what I should do...

Jazakumllahkhairan in advance

**IbnAbdulHakim** · 09-17-2008

why get all emotional?

shes your good friend so BE GOOD to her and help her get back to normal

inshaAllaah, thats what friends do for each other !

**Sahabiyaat** · 09-17-2008

a letter? why would u write a letter, if ur realli friends then you shud be able to meet up, for example go out to eat or something, make her feel comfortable and then just kindly explain what you thought of her actions and how you can both work together to sort this.
a letter wont convey what you want to say in the same way, you may come accross as harsh without being so, simply because its not an interactive way of communicating, so the best way is to speak fact to face.

**Afifa** · 09-17-2008

aww sis ...it hurts when ur trust gets broken. U just need to think positvely. if she really does regret what she has done then she deserves another chance. now you decide if she is really regretting it. you need to make her understand nd by doing that ul be making her and yourself a better muslim as you are trying to do. From your post i see that u really care for her nd you dont wna lose ur frednship
inshallah all goes well.

**adam123** · 09-17-2008

remember the hadeeth where peophet said dont tell your friends all the private stuff so maybe she acted on that,though not intentionaly.......

have you told all your secrets to her..................

**.Amatullah.** · 09-17-2008

jazakumuallahukhairan for your replies! i very much appreciate it.

yes, i do care for her very much, and did make up my mind that i was going to help her ia in any way! about the letter - of course, i was going to talk to her face to face better but yes, its better thati dont write anything.

inshallah all goes well!! make du'aa for us.

**Danah** · 09-17-2008

okay sis since you she is your real friend you have to take the first action.....you must prove that you are really really care about her.
you have to save her from the problem she ended up with whether she is correct or wrong -here is the real friendship appear- you have to talk to her nicly in order to convince her about what she had done, otherwise your relation might turn to the worse.

as sister Sahabiyaat, there is no need for letter, dont make the situation so formal, talk to her naturally and kindly....and in sha allah you will be able to do something good for her
be patient with her since you have the intention to help her to be a good muslimah

as Allah stated in Quran:

159 - It is part of the mercy of ALLAH that dost deal gently with them. wert thou severe or harsh hearted, they would have broken away from about thee: so pass over (their faults), and ask for (God's) forgiveness them in affairs (of moment). then when thou hast taken a decision, put thy trust in God. for God loves those who put their trust (in him).
2:71

dont overdo it all at once but go by steps with here....In sha allah that will help alot