Please help me..

**Lonely Gal** · 10-23-2008

Im feeling so upset and emotional. I cant stand my husband, he picks at everything. We went out to get a bite to eat and then he changed his mind, but if i was too i get a -------ing, then we were on a drive around randomly, and he started screwin because i dint say take a left which meant we had to go tesco the long route. Our towns not even big, must av been a 2 min delay if anything and it werent as if we were gettin late for summat. We had all the time in the world but he went off on one blaming me.
This morning he started going on abt why im wearin brown khussa shoes.. im like wtf.. i went off on one, started screamin and stormed out the room. I cant help it, it upsets me sooo much, even typin this is upsetting me. He manages to keep his voice low, but i get soooo frustrated and loose it. Please help me, what can i do.. i hate this, i hate me life, i really do. I always feel suffocated, i just want out from all this.
When he starts on me for no reason, i start effin n blimin under my breath, i no thats so wrong but how do i stop this.. someone please help me.. i cant cope with this.. i cant

**Cabdullahi** · 10-23-2008

In this sort of situation we have no power to help just ask allah
pray salatul layl!!!!!

**Lonely Gal** · 10-23-2008

how do i pray this?

**DAWUD_adnan** · 10-23-2008

Try and have a talk to work things out. Talk about your problems, tell each other you're sorry for anything you might have done to each other unintentionally. Start over again, with a clean slate. Remind each other that Allah does not want a bad relationship between yourselves.

**Hamayun** · 10-23-2008

Erm... Sister swearing is not good, especially on an Islamic Forum. I hope Allah helps you in your matters.

**Lonely Gal** · 10-23-2008

apologies

**Hamayun** · 10-23-2008

Its very tempting to swear when you are angry. I can understand. But maybe you could replace the rude words with not so rude words. Like Sugar!! Shoot!! etc.

Or you could always invest in a punching bag. They are great to get your frustration out on

Have faith in Allah and be patient. I hope it works out for you Insha'Allah.

**Lonely Gal** · 10-23-2008

i dont swear as much out loud, its more under me breath but when im angry i shout as i talk.. i no its wrong, i really cant help it..

**IbnAbdulHakim** · 10-23-2008

sis to be honest thats really small stuff you mentioned ... i think theres a deeper problem. I think your just having a really hard to liking your husband...

hmm, both of you need to increase the patience/jokiness. i mean even i wud sumtimes lose it and maybe talk "loudly"

a bit but whoevers around me knows its coz somethin stupid happened n a few seconds later we're joking and laughin n smilin again... so whats stopping you guys from jus completely ignoring such petty matters?

**Lonely Gal** · 10-23-2008

i agree their petty so should his mood change because of such small tings..

**Umu 'Isa** · 10-23-2008

sis, talk to him when he is in a good mood. Ask him what you can do to make your relationship stronger, ask him how you can be a better wife to him. Talk softly and sweet to him, make him his favourite dinner, give him a massage.. anything to put him in a good mood! And when he is in a good mood, say to him (softly and nicely) 'i hate how we fight all the time, i wish you would have more sabr with me and insha Allaah i will try to have more sabr with you. I'm sorry if i upset you, but please try to understand it hurts me when you do (- insert action that hurts you here -)'

pray qiyaam al layl and make du'a that Allaah strengthens your relationship with your husband. And when he does something that annoys you, avoid him, don't say anything, follow the sunnah and make wudhu if you are really angry!

may Allaah make it easy for you sis!