I talk little (unless it's something that I have a strong opinion about... And those things are very few). This morning, at the bus stop, a random lady began talking to me... And all I could think about whilst smiling in a 'the-world-is-beautiful' way was the fact that she was a stranger and that she musn't initiate a conversation with me unless I feel the need to do so. Yes, I'm very... Selfish?
Anyway... I appreciate the silence between a stranger and myself. But whilst walking back after school, I was with a friend, and since I hardly initiate conversations, our journey consisted mostly of silence and her poor attempts at conversation. And, of course, it was uncomfortable. For me, who knew I made her uncomfortable... And her, who didn't appreciate the awkward silence. That made me wonder about the saying that a friend is someone with whom you sit in silence but feel like you've talked a lot. (Or something like that)
And my conclusion: it's bull.
My conclusion was based on several experiences with friends I've known for several years (10) and friends I known recently (2).
All I want is to find out if I'm right. Well, for majority of the people anyway.
Do I not make sense? Vote anyway.
NB: You may ignore the third option on the poll. It was another of my odd-number obsession thing. But of course, I kept the members hidden, just in case one of you might feel obliged to be honest and admit...
when I was a teenager, I liked talking and talking without stopping, but now I changed a lot!!! I wonder now how come I endure being that talkative....lol
I think the most reason of that change is this screen I am facing now, when I started being addicted in using the computer I became a quiet person, dont like to talk much even with my relatives, especially when I have strange interests than everyone in the home.......so its kinda hard to talk in something I dont have an interest in.
but sometimes I got annoyed when people think that I am arrogant to not talk to them.....when I really dont have any interest on what they are talking about, why on earth I have to force myself to talk??
about silence?..........
well for me it depends on the person I am talking to....taking this scenario: "waiting in the lounge of a hospital" some strangers I feel like I cant talk to them easily and go on a light conversation with them very smoothly, while for some others having a conversation with is a very hard thing.....they start telling their life stories and I am just like,...."oh"....."I see"........"oh yeah what u can do this is the life".........especially if the destiny lead me to sit near a woman who had a fight with her family and complains a lot
with friends?.....my close friends, there is no way we can sit silently, especially if I sit with the friends that know me very well and know the way I think and see things....because they will avoid talk about things I hate or dont have any interest on....so I am fine with that
when I prefer the silence? when someone start talking about their family problems, I hate being involved in such things....
I talk too much full stop.
Thing is, I won't speak to strangers. I don't go out of my way to bond with my fellow final year students who I don't really know because I came back from placement and they've all carried on from the second year. The only people I talk to in uni are those that went on placement with me and a few fellow muslim sisters and that and I feel cool sitting in silence coz we don't have much in common apart from our courses.
I feel kind of uncomfortable sitting in silence with people I don't quite know, but who I'm getting to know coz I don't know what they're like or what they're likely to be thinking.
With friends however I can sit in silence and feel all cool..Or initiate a conversation. I'll always find something to talk about.
Does that make me some sort of weirdo.
(Oh, I voted I'm a big mouthed idiot who can't stop talking. Tch <whatever that's supposed to mean)
60% of my phone conversations consist of 'ah', 'oh', 'hmm' and 'I see'. I avoid conversing on the phone as much as possible.
AssalamuAlaykum!
Haha L0o0oL I love hearing the sound of my own voice when I'm talking to you on the phone.......Nootttttt! I hate it, which is why I've stopped talking much on the fone to people now coz I can ramble on and on...and on.
Like seriously, I dont talk as much as I used to, and even on the internet, I dont really talk, its just my fingers that have a habit of being able to move real fast
Oh and in answer to ur question (I forgot what it was, sorry) but yeh, some silences are nice. And others are cringeworthy. But nothing you can do about them
I find silence with a stranger is really uncomfortable
Whereas with a friend, I can just add in some joke to fill in
Its easier to make jokes with friends than with strangers
Furthermore, im the kind of person who doesn’t talk much
I almost never start a conversation with strangers
Mainly cuz im a really shy person
With muslim brothers its just salam, wa alaikum salam
Then walk off
the above two sisters are officially LI's chatterboxes ... just look at their posts!!! oh: ..one even said she is not chatty anymore ..nice joke
lol, I am supposing myself one of those whom u pointed to.
Well, when I have amazing sisters in the board why I will keep silent like a dead body
The thread was focusing more on the real life I guess.....and I have said that I became less chatter after being addicted to Internet.
but really I am more quiet in the real world comparing to Cyberspace....I found more people having the same interests I have and that the reason, so I have something to talk about with them
good note from you brother looks like u r doing a pretty good search here
Last edited by Danah; 03-13-2009 at 06:19 AM.
Reason: typing....
does it always have to be philosophical chill out with the textbook terminology
Righhht.
format_quote Originally Posted by The Ruler
crayon, could you give me an example? Maybe tomorrow... Hmm? =]
Well, with close friends, or family even, whenever there's a silence, I think- I'm close enough to this person that I can simply sit in their company without having to keep conversation going. When conversation happens, it happens, and when it doesn't, then that's great too.
With strangers, or acquaintances- It's so interesting to be in a world where we all interact with one another, without even having to speak, most of the time. The bus driver, the lady in the shop, the people sitting next to me on the park bench. Sometimes you can just send off good vibes, a smile, and feel content; there's no need for conversation.
I think the reason silence is awkward a lot of the time is because you feel like you're expected to make conversation, and that when you don't, you're doing something wrong, and that causes you to feel uncomfortable. Whereas when you tell yourself that logically there's no reason that you must be forced to talk, that awkwardness goes away. And even further, when you tell yourself that silence is fulfilling, it even makes you feel happy there's nothing to talk about. So it's all in your head, I guess.
I always have something to say and sometime i don't make any sense. I find it easy to make conversation except when I'm on the phone with one of my relatives, I don't know what to talk about. I ask them about their family and then I talk about the weather and ask them what they had for lunch!!!!!!! Then I quickly tell my mom that the phonecall is for her...
the above two sisters are officially LI's chatterboxes ... just look at their posts!!! oh: ..one even said she is not chatty anymore ..nice joke
Oh Ha ha (!)
Doesn't mean I'd talk to ya in real life or anything...
anyway, the topic was about silences, so I was just giving a general impression of how I take silences and all.
Hahaha... I smile a lot and try to do it with strangers aswell. 'Cause my neutral expression is something like 'the-world-is-pathetic-and-not-worth-me', even though I could be very happy.
But whilst walking back after school, I was with a friend, and since I hardly initiate conversations, our journey consisted mostly of silence and her poor attempts at conversation.
If I was that friend I would probably a long time ago started a psycho-monologue.
I've started conversations with strangers, simply for the sake of it. I have also often come across people who talk with strangers. I tend to like them, they are interesting.
Silences between yourself and a friend are definitely worse...though it depends...
If it's a friend you're not incredibly close to, but whose good opinion you obviously wanna keep, you have to think a lot before you say anything, so it's hard to start a conversation...you can both tell it's difficult, and the silences are awkward...
But if it's someone you know really well, it's easy to say whatever it is that first comes into your mind...and even if there really is nothing to say, any silence there is is simply peaceful...
As for strangers, I wouldn't feel comfortable randomly starting a conversation with someone I didn't know, but if they speak to me, I'd just keeping smiling, and nod or shake my head at the appropriate times...there's only so long that they'd be able to keep talking, in that case, lol...
And, I find trying to talk to relatives over the phone absolutely terrible, too...
I chose number three. I actually do talk more then I post here. It has gotten me into trouble more than a few times. but I still have not learned to shut-up.
Silence between yourself and a friend, because if you're silent with a friend and it is uncomfortable, that isn't right, cause you are supposed to be comfortable with it.
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oh: ..one even said she is not chatty anymore ..nice joke
coz I can ramble on and on...and on.
looks like u r doing a pretty good search here 
I smile a lot and try to do it with strangers aswell. 'Cause my neutral expression is something like 'the-world-is-pathetic-and-not-worth-me', even though I could be very happy. 
I find trying to talk to relatives over the phone absolutely terrible, too...
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