The Ups and Downs of Life

**Ali_008** · 12-24-2013

I hope all of you are reading this in good health, and with a grateful heart.

I made this thread to just discuss the variety of situations we keep facing on a daily basis. I am, at this moment, in a kind of a turmoil, and it keeps making me lose hope every now and then. It is difficult to just keep up with the regular flow of life, and on top of it, when you have others creating additional problems for you, it pokes you at places you didn't even know existed and leads to ANGST.

I don't question the trials of life, rather it is more directed towards human nature. We all must know some person in our lives who has deliberately made our lives difficult at some point of time. A person who would actually take proactive and reactive steps to make sure that you are effed (I'm sorry, I can't think of a more suitable word). Such people only create problems for you, and go one step further when they even blame you for the problems of their own miserable lives. I wonder if anyone in their lives have noticed any such person retreating, and take responsibility of their actions, and even repent and apologize to people who they have hurt.

It is a shattering situation to be in. Moreover, I keep getting so worried whether it is a trial or a punishment. I don't know what to do. It is a lose-lose situation. It has been this way for over 2 years now. I acknowledge that there is a lot more that I can do than I did, but I wonder if things can work out on their own. Whether some day, the troublemaker will choose to give it up as it is very evident that he/she is not having fun doing it either. The fact that neither you are happy nor the person who wants you to be unhappy is happy at his/her success is a work of art. I suppose the credit for that lies with the fact that I resort to consort with moroseness than do what that person wants to get done from me.

Have you ever in your life seen such people make amends and live peacefully. Allah guides whomever He pleases, but have you noticed such groundbreaking changes in people without any intervention of religion?

I can't think of any more to say without losing it and flooding this space with censored content.

**Alpha Dude** · 12-25-2013

Wa alaykum salam bro,

I understand how you feel. I'm not sure I have seen a malicious person change in my life. I've seen supposed ruffians and people who've done bad things become good but not people who have malicious hearts.

I know it's difficult but Allah is with the patient, something I need to work on myself.

**Abu Zainab** · 12-25-2013

^ Alpha is right. People with evil hearts rarely change. They will do their best to create problems in others' lives....but that's all they can do - create problems. Whether you are harmed by those problems depends upon Allaah. You said you do not know if it's a punishment or trial...don't worry about it. Just trust completely in Allaah...do all your duties towards Him....do istighfaar and shukr all the time and see miracles unfold in front of your eyes. As time passes you will notice a decrease in the 'evilness' of the people you dread and inshallaah you will be completely free from their evil eventually.

Whenever disturbing thoughts (of dhulm for example) arise in your mind, just do tasbih or say "La hawla wala quwatta illa billah" and those thoughts will just go away and you will start to feel better and happier.

May Allaah solve all your problems and keep you happy in this world and the next. And may He get rid of the evil people from your life.

**ardianto** · 12-25-2013

Originally Posted by Ali_008

Have you ever in your life seen such people make amends and live peacefully.

Wa'alaikum salam

If someone make amends, it's because he realize that he has done something wrong like commit crime or using drugs. But people like you have described do not realize that they do something wrong, that's why they never have intention to make amends.

Maybe you have heard about "individu who feel uncomfortable". Someone who feel uncomfortable with his/her life but doesn't know why and doesn't know how to feel comfortable. People like this indeed, have impulsion in their heart to intervene and arrange other people life as compensation of their inability to arrange their own life. But they do not realize it and do not feel it as something wrong. Actually it caused by wrong upbringing when they were kids and growing older.

If you can stay away from people like this, try to stay away. If not? ..... be patient, bro, be patient.

And do not easy to be provoked by what they say. People like this usually are provocative

**tamam_zarkasy** · 12-26-2013

Wa'alaikumsalam

I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth, then i ask myself the same question
- Harun Yahya

Brother, my advice is you must go away from them, if you can't, avoid them, if you still can't do it, face them. Dont be friend with them, ignore what they did to you if they do the bad things to you. Two years is too long for you to suffer, and too bad if this continue, i dont know whether it is a trial or a punishment, you must reflect this to yourself to get the answer, but its obvious that it is a problem to you.

Find a good friend, share your problem with them, and ask them to help you, but dont forget, you must always ask Allah's help in the first place
I recommend you to read La Tahzan by Dr Aid Al Qarni, it is a very good books, and i think you can find a good lesson to help you solve your problem inside the book

I hope this answer can help you.

Salam

**greenhill** · 12-27-2013

Originally Posted by Ali_008

Moreover, I keep getting so worried whether it is a trial or a punishment. I don't know what to do. It is a lose-lose situation. It has been this way for over 2 years now. I acknowledge that there is a lot more that I can do than I did, but I wonder if things can work out on their own.

This is something I often wonder myself. Is it a trial or punishment? And the simple truth is that I will go round in circles and never know for sure. At the end of the day I have to remind myself that whatever it is, I still have to face the situation regardless. If it is a trial then I must be patient and pray that Allah swt will give me a good result at the end. If it is a punishment, then I pray that Allah swt will erase some of my sins in preparation for the hereafter, either way then it becomes a 'win-win' situation.

I suppose the normal reaction to a trouble maker would be to curse him/her. Not so easy to forgive and pray to Allah swt to 'enlighten' that person ...

I too have suffered greatly due to no fault of my own but as a result of other people's actions. In some cases I ended up fighting in court due to selfish and greedy people who jammed up my property for nearly 20 years. They lost in the end, but for 20 years I suffered. It is hard to forgive them but I guess it was predestined for me to go through it, why? I don't know, but I have never tried to cheat anyone nor take anything that does not belong to me in the first place. Still I had to deal with it. Only Allah swt knows best why He put me through it.

Peace

**Eric H** · 12-27-2013

Greetings and peace be with you Ali_008;

Here is a simple yet powerful prayer, it is about striving to accept things that cannot be changed; the prayer has been used for alcoholics, drug addicts, angry and desperate people

Lord grant me the peace and serenity to live with the things I cannot change
Give me the courage to change the things I can.
And grant me the wisdom to know the difference.

To understand how the prayer works here is how one lady used it whilst living in London during the second world war. Most days London was being bombed, she had no control over were the bombs would land. She would hear about; and see the death and destruction; she might be killed, her family might be killed, her home or work or shops might be bombed. Yet every day she had to get up, feed herself and her family, and do some work.

The first line of the prayer, grant me the peace and serenity to live with the things I cannot change.

She had to live with all the injustice, fear, anger, hate, death and destruction surrounding her, she has no control where the bombs will land. She could not change what happened yesterday, she cannot change other people. If you continually want to change; or try to change the things that cannot be changed; it will lead to depression and you will make yourself ill.

Give me the courage to change the things I can.
The only thing she could change was herself and what was going on in her own heart and mind. Somehow she would have to keep striving and coping or crack up, she did not know how long this destruction would last. Despite all the problems she directed her prayer to finding peace in her heart.

Give me the wisdom to know the difference.

The last line of the prayer is something you have to work out for yourself , you need to search for the real things that you can change;

You should strive to fight all battles with loving kindness and forgiveness; with all the things you cannot change; in order to find peace.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a great mystery; Lord help me to live this day and every day knowing that you hold me in the palm of your hand.

In the spirit of searching for a peace that surpasses all understanding

Eric

**Ali_008** · 12-29-2013

Thanks for all the responses to this thread.

The irksome part of my trouble is that the person creating all this problem is a very close relative, and I can't avoid them even if I want to, and you all know what Islam says about kind treatment of relatives. I hope Allah will forgive me for whatever wrongdoings I have committed (knowingly or unknowingly) responding to these troubles in sha Allah.

**greenhill** · 12-29-2013

Originally Posted by Ali_008

The irksome part of my trouble is that the person creating all this problem is a very close relative, and I can't avoid them even if I want to, and you all know what Islam says about kind treatment of relatives

Yup, been through that too! Similar situation which caused a rift in the family which previously had a very close relationship. So sad when even with history and knowing each other very well people could still 'believe' things said which is totally out of character of the people we know. Still, people believe what they want...

Peace to you

**muratSul** · 01-01-2014

As-salamu alaykum,

Yes. I do know of a person who laughed at the sight of turmoil and even pulled some strings to corroborate to it --- myself. I was behind the gun too if you catch my drift. Looking back at the things I'd done, the lives I endangered, the chances I shoved to the side; it was basically a miracle melioration. I'm thankful for my past because it brought me here. If I didn't do the stuff I did, I never would have created a bond with Allah. If I didn't do the stuff I did, I wouldn't have had the ability to open new doors and explore the rest of the world. If I didn't do the stuff I did, the only knowledge I would have is knowledge that is a product of scholastic teachings. I'm thankful because I....lived more.

Now, I cut off ties with most of my friends. I never party (I didn't back then either). I don't drink (I didn't back then either). I don't go out and I don't go after women for sex (I'm a virgin). All this and I'm 16.