× Register Login What's New! Contact us
How to criticize people on IslamicBoard in the best manner!
Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    Jewel's Avatar
    Jewel is offline
    If you can read this please remember me in your duas :P

    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    6,831
    Threads
    1024
    Reputation
    31412
    Rep Power
    55
    Likes (Given)
    2184
    Likes (Received)
    6058

    How to criticize people on IslamicBoard in the best manner!

    Report bad ads?



    "Practising Islam beautifies one's character, if it's making you intolerable, impatient and grumpy then you're doing it wrong."



    1. Start with "as-salam alaykum" and "bismillah".

    This will cool your heart and purify your intention. You will give the person salam (peace), and you will also start in the Name of Allah [swt]; few people can curse someone out after they say bismillah!

    2. Begin with praise before criticism.

    If you are going to criticize someone, then start out with praise. For example, if you are going to criticize Dr. Zakir Naik for something he said which was wrong, then start with praise, acknowledging all his good work in the field of dawah. This is a part of softening the heart and purifying the intention as well (since you won't post any of this if you are just posting to bash him, instead of with the intention to give naseeha). So this will be like "We recognize and appreciate your tireless efforts in the field of dawah and inter-faith debate."

    3. Use a title of respect to refer to the person, such as "brother", or "Ustadh" or "Shaykh", etc, if the latter are appropriate. Add words around this to beautify your speech, such as "esteemed Shaykh" or "my beloved brother", etc. Such titles are MORE IMPORTANT to use when criticizing someone. You can refer to someone as "Anwar" if you are just talking about him normally, but when you are giving criticism of him, then it becomes VERY IMPORTANT to say Imam Anwar. And it would be even better to say the word "HafidhuAllah" after his name...make sure to do all these things *every* time you mention his name!

    4. Begin by asking for forgiveness for criticizing, such as "Forgive me for my audacity, dear Shaykh" and the like.

    5. Try to reconcile views. This is where I have seen Ustadh Ayman seriously excel at. Two people could be arguing about something, and they are in fact saying stuff that is opposite to each other...but to soften and reconcile the hearts, the Ustadh will reconcile what the two are saying, so that both parties don't think that they were TOTALLY wrong. So it is something like this: "Brother Bassam you are correct in saying this-and-this, but in certain situations such as this-and-that, then brother Fareed is correct in saying that"....and things like "actually you are not saying two opposite things, rather..." etc

    6. Close with du`a, but never say "may Allah guide you" or anything else which is understood as an insult. It is sad how oftentimes we use du`as as insults! If you really wanted Allah [swt] to guide a person, then say that quietly in your own room; no need to announce it to that person's face. Rather, that is done to make it clear to the person that he is misguided! So the intention is not to actually pray to Allah [swt] but to insult another person! So what is better is to include yourself in the du`a, saying "may Allah [swt] guide you and I to all that which is right." This will soften the hearts, and ensure that no ill intent was meant!

    7. Avoid using nicknames and labels. This is very important, because this is what hurts peoples' feelings the most. So one should not call another person a "defeatist" or a "khariji" ...such labels should be avoided...even when a person is doing something that falls under that category, still avoid it! The Quran says:

    "Nor defame nor be sarcastic to each other, nor call each other by (offensive) nicknames: Ill-seeming is a name connoting wickedness, (to be used of one) after he has believed: And those who do not desist are (indeed) doing wrong." (Quran, 49:11)

    And nicknames like "o degenerate" and "o wicked one" are not to be used, so what of these worse labels that we invent against each other?

    8. Speak in general terms, and do not single out the person, but rather warn the person of those other people, keeping it general. So instead of saying "you are deaf, dumb, and blind", say "O brothers and sisters, remember that the Quran describes the kufaar as 'deaf, dumb, and blind...' so let us not be like that insha-Allah!" Always try to include yourself in whatever you say.

    9. Do not post now, but post after 30 minutes. Chances are you will be cooled down after 30 minutes, and won't post the same way had you posted in the heat of the moment.

    10. Use smiley faces all over the place. If you don't believe in smiley faces, then you can write out the word "smile" as Ustadh Ayman does. *smile* Smiling softens the hearts, and so it should be done in its e-form, insha-Allah.

    11. End with praise of the person and ask for forgiveness. So this is the sandwich approach, whereby your criticism is packaged between praise.

    Source

  2. Report bad ads?
  3. #2
    Jewel's Avatar
    Jewel is offline
    If you can read this please remember me in your duas :P

    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    6,831
    Threads
    1024
    Reputation
    31412
    Rep Power
    55
    Likes (Given)
    2184
    Likes (Received)
    6058

    Re: How to criticize people on IslamicBoard in the best manner!

    Some good points mentioned here too: http://www.islamicboard.com/feedback...ude-forum.html

    Do you have any other tips on handling criticism? Share here .
    2 | Likes Umm Abed, a.danhamidu liked this post

  4. #3
    Umm Abed's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    IB Forest
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    1,937
    Threads
    60
    Reputation
    10574
    Rep Power
    23
    Likes (Given)
    6673
    Likes (Received)
    1777

    Re: How to criticize people on IslamicBoard in the best manner!



    Excellent advice, especially the post later one, where you have cooled off..so very important to speak with a clear mind and not in a heated moment..
    3 | Likes Jewel, noraina, Al Sultan liked this post

  5. #4
    noraina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    A small British town
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    2,828
    Threads
    108
    Reputation
    20823
    Rep Power
    24
    Likes (Given)
    9431
    Likes (Received)
    3806

    Re: How to criticize people on IslamicBoard in the best manner!

    Great post, you should sticky it inshaAllah.

    Also being a little more open-minded, and accepting the fact there will be differences in opinions or even practise as a Muslim - even I'm guilty of coming to conclusions without understanding where that person was coming from, and that just because someone may come from a different cultural background or perspective, it doesn't mean they're wrong.

    I think the 'my way or the highway' mentality can make us come down hard on others, without knowing the context.
    How to criticize people on IslamicBoard in the best manner!

    Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, Thabbit Qalbi Ala Deenik
    Oh turner of the Hearts make my heart firm on Your Deen







  6. Report bad ads?
  7. #5
    Jewel's Avatar
    Jewel is offline
    If you can read this please remember me in your duas :P

    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    6,831
    Threads
    1024
    Reputation
    31412
    Rep Power
    55
    Likes (Given)
    2184
    Likes (Received)
    6058

    Re: How to criticize people on IslamicBoard in the best manner!

    Quote Originally Posted by noraina View Post
    Great post, you should sticky it inshaAllah.
    Good idea .

    Done .
    2 | Likes Umm Abed, noraina liked this post

  8. #6
    a.danhamidu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Location
    Nigeria
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    42
    Threads
    12
    Reputation
    19
    Rep Power
    14
    Likes (Given)
    23
    Likes (Received)
    11

    Re: How to criticize people on IslamicBoard in the best manner!

    Quote Originally Posted by farhan View Post


    "Practising Islam beautifies one's character, if it's making you intolerable, impatient and grumpy then you're doing it wrong."



    1. Start with "as-salam alaykum" and "bismillah".

    This will cool your heart and purify your intention. You will give the person salam (peace), and you will also start in the Name of Allah [swt]; few people can curse someone out after they say bismillah!

    2. Begin with praise before criticism.

    If you are going to criticize someone, then start out with praise. For example, if you are going to criticize Dr. Zakir Naik for something he said which was wrong, then start with praise, acknowledging all his good work in the field of dawah. This is a part of softening the heart and purifying the intention as well (since you won't post any of this if you are just posting to bash him, instead of with the intention to give naseeha). So this will be like "We recognize and appreciate your tireless efforts in the field of dawah and inter-faith debate."

    3. Use a title of respect to refer to the person, such as "brother", or "Ustadh" or "Shaykh", etc, if the latter are appropriate. Add words around this to beautify your speech, such as "esteemed Shaykh" or "my beloved brother", etc. Such titles are MORE IMPORTANT to use when criticizing someone. You can refer to someone as "Anwar" if you are just talking about him normally, but when you are giving criticism of him, then it becomes VERY IMPORTANT to say Imam Anwar. And it would be even better to say the word "HafidhuAllah" after his name...make sure to do all these things *every* time you mention his name!

    4. Begin by asking for forgiveness for criticizing, such as "Forgive me for my audacity, dear Shaykh" and the like.

    5. Try to reconcile views. This is where I have seen Ustadh Ayman seriously excel at. Two people could be arguing about something, and they are in fact saying stuff that is opposite to each other...but to soften and reconcile the hearts, the Ustadh will reconcile what the two are saying, so that both parties don't think that they were TOTALLY wrong. So it is something like this: "Brother Bassam you are correct in saying this-and-this, but in certain situations such as this-and-that, then brother Fareed is correct in saying that"....and things like "actually you are not saying two opposite things, rather..." etc

    6. Close with du`a, but never say "may Allah guide you" or anything else which is understood as an insult. It is sad how oftentimes we use du`as as insults! If you really wanted Allah [swt] to guide a person, then say that quietly in your own room; no need to announce it to that person's face. Rather, that is done to make it clear to the person that he is misguided! So the intention is not to actually pray to Allah [swt] but to insult another person! So what is better is to include yourself in the du`a, saying "may Allah [swt] guide you and I to all that which is right." This will soften the hearts, and ensure that no ill intent was meant!

    7. Avoid using nicknames and labels. This is very important, because this is what hurts peoples' feelings the most. So one should not call another person a "defeatist" or a "khariji" ...such labels should be avoided...even when a person is doing something that falls under that category, still avoid it! The Quran says:

    "Nor defame nor be sarcastic to each other, nor call each other by (offensive) nicknames: Ill-seeming is a name connoting wickedness, (to be used of one) after he has believed: And those who do not desist are (indeed) doing wrong." (Quran, 49:11)

    And nicknames like "o degenerate" and "o wicked one" are not to be used, so what of these worse labels that we invent against each other?

    8. Speak in general terms, and do not single out the person, but rather warn the person of those other people, keeping it general. So instead of saying "you are deaf, dumb, and blind", say "O brothers and sisters, remember that the Quran describes the kufaar as 'deaf, dumb, and blind...' so let us not be like that insha-Allah!" Always try to include yourself in whatever you say.

    9. Do not post now, but post after 30 minutes. Chances are you will be cooled down after 30 minutes, and won't post the same way had you posted in the heat of the moment.

    10. Use smiley faces all over the place. If you don't believe in smiley faces, then you can write out the word "smile" as Ustadh Ayman does. *smile* Smiling softens the hearts, and so it should be done in its e-form, insha-Allah.

    11. End with praise of the person and ask for forgiveness. So this is the sandwich approach, whereby your criticism is packaged between praise.

    Source
    Jazakallah khairan, I really commend rhis presentation and strongly recommend that it be made part of the rules/guidelines/terms-and-conditions that members here and especially newcomers agree to when joining the forum.

    May Allah continue to shower all of us here with patience and wisdom to make this forum a wholesome, deen-propagating medium, amin.
    3 | Likes noraina, Jewel, Muslimah inshal liked this post

Hey there! How to criticize people on IslamicBoard in the best manner! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. How to criticize people on IslamicBoard in the best manner!
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. It is Easy To Criticize......
    By Flame of Hope in forum General
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 08-20-2013, 06:11 PM
  2. The Best Manner in Giving Da’wah
    By MinAhlilHadeeth in forum Da'wah
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 12-27-2011, 04:45 PM
  3. What people search for to get to islamicboard
    By -S- in forum Feedback & Suggestions
    Replies: 55
    Last Post: 02-18-2011, 02:27 PM
  4. Iraqi Shiites and Sunnis criticize Kurds
    By The_Prince in forum World Affairs
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 01-14-2008, 12:54 AM
  5. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07-02-2005, 11:23 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
create