I wanted to talk to you about a very serious topic : Narcissists
Narcissists are a category of people suffering from what is called NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), they are, in my opinion, one of the most psychologically destructive people you can ever meet.
They pretend to love and care for you, all the while they are planning your utter destruction.
What makes them so dangerous is their advanced manipulation tactics they use on unsuspecting targets.
You might be a target without even realizing it!
At first you'd think they are wonderful people, but once you get to know them well, you'll know this is all an act.
Here is a list of what they usually do to their targets :
- Insults their target very often. Then lie when confronted about it, or say it was a joke.
- When confronted with their behavior, they pretend to be innocent and play the victim.
- Everything is always your fault, even when it's obviously not.
- They always have a justification for every bad thing they do. They think they're always right.
- Very controlling, they tell you how to live, but they can live anyway they want. Very hypocritical.
- They accuse you of what they're doing to you (RED FLAG!), it's called Projection.
- Portraying themselves as angels outside, when they are actually demons with their family and especially their target.
- They want you to fail, while pretending to want you to succeed (they're very convincing).
- They never say they are sorry for hurting you (RED FLAG!).
- Poison your favorite activities, they don't want you to be happy or to get pleasure. They also poison other useful activities like important skills which will help you in the future. They DO NOT want you to have skills, they want you to be as weak as possible. They don't teach you anything.
- Subtly lead a smear campaign against their target, so they isolate it and make sure they don't get help.
- When you want to leave the relationship with a narcissist, they beg you to stay with them and cry crocodile tears. They are the best actors.
- Sometimes nice, sometimes cruel. You never know where you stand with them.
- They pretend to be "victims", and they blame the target for their own behavior.
- They are incredibly arrogant and sadistic. They see the target as weak, and deserving to suffer.
- They think they are models to be followed.
- They are spiritually dead although they might loudly profess some kind of Spiritual Belief. (many of their children actually leave Islam after witnessing their behavior (not an excuse ofc)).
If you recognize that someone has many or all of these behaviors, please leave the relationship.
I had this disorder myself, this means I know NPD very well. Imagine someone lying to himself so much he believes in his lies (I am superior, I am perfect, others are idiots, I cannot be wrong...) from childhood. Their brains are convinced of their lies, and they need to abuse others to maintain their delusions of grandeur.
Please share this message to other people and forums. We have to raise awareness!
Narcissists are real and the kind of experiences they have undergone in there lives make them like that .Still at the end of the day everyone has a choice to choose a decent behaviour but narcissists because of there faulty ego don't opt for a righteous behaviour.May Allah guide all.
SubhanAllah...these people can destroy an entire family. As harsh as it may seem, sometimes the best option for people who are negatively affected by them is to just leave - you'll end up losing it yourself if you stay.
Narcissism comes across to me as some sort of imagined power struggle - people with this tend to manipulate their own family members the most, perhaps as a way to control them out of fear that they might no longer have much power over them. Allah swt knows best.
I am just sharing a website I found, I've only quickly browsed through it but it gives an Islamic perspective on a range of mental health issues by two sisters who have a lot of experience in the field - there are painfully few resources like this and it's nice to see ma'sha'Allah.
before i met my husband and reverted to islam i was with a person like that he was controlling, he aways made out that everything was my faul always used to turn it around on me,possestive..did things that im not gonna say but when think about it makes me feel ashamed...but alhamduillah i left him and found the love my life and reverted to islam..people like that want to degrade u and make you feel worse about urself all u can do is leave before they destroy you.
I know I'm little late. But can someone explain if narcissism is classified among the mental illness where Allah doesnt take account of deeds? Til what point will allah forgive someone or allow them to oppress others because they are mentally I'll and enjoy it?
Jazakallah khayran
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