It depends how far it went. If it was just platonic, you may try to find out how she sees things. If she went further than that, you may want to cancel the engagement. In those circumstances, I cannot recommend that you would marry her.
Cancel the engagement, find another girl who doesn't have a boyfriend, marry her.
If she has a boyfriend, that obviously means she doesn't love you (whoever it is whose fiance has a boyfriend). Don't marry a woman who doesn't want to marry you (or love you). Not worth it. Rather find one who does and marry her.
First confirm if there is a misunderstanding or if it is true. If it is true then try to find the reason behind such disloyalty. If there's no loyalty at this point, what more can you expect after marriage. Otherwise it would be best not to pursue such a woman. Islam commands us to marry chaste upright morally good partner.
im fine btw - this isn't the first time it's happened with someone who claimed I was fantastic and all that jazz ... Not even the second or third time... Wearing hijab and all that don't mean anything to some women. They are too far gone and pretend to be that which they are not.
-and when you find out - saddening as it is that you invested hope into her, only to have the same happen as all the other times you tried, you wonder if you are inadequate or something.
this is all very strange and alien behaviours for me to experience but I keep seeing it happen to me. I begin to question my own worth when stuff like this happens... And I don't appreciate the feeling of rejection because there's another dude in the mix after all the efforts and time I put into trying to make something from nothing the halal way...
pardon my rant - stuff got real fast in my life and now it's damage control time ...
She's got a lot of explaining to do but I don't wanna hear it now, it's far gone and evidenced by more than just me.
I am so sorry for your position. However, things can be very confusing sometimes. I would simply ask what she wants. You musnt be sure of that %100 unless she tells what is going on directly..
Im not gonna air the story here for all to see - but I don't wanna establish anymore proof than I have already because I feel sick even thinking about it.
its over - that's all there is to it
except I'm done trying to find a wife now, I just don't wanna experience this anymore
No-one knows the situation better than you do, but if you are so certain, it is better to just break the engagement off than be suspicious or uncertain of her all the time. But don't lose hope on marriage bro, inshaAllah you'll definitely find a pious, sincere wife if it is written for you, we'll make dua.
Im not gonna air the story here for all to see - but I don't wanna establish anymore proof than I have already because I feel sick even thinking about it.
its over - that's all there is to it
except I'm done trying to find a wife now, I just don't wanna experience this anymore
Scimi
Apparently, there are 3.52 billion women in the world.
Don't give up. You'll find a different woman to marry.
You are going through extreme pain at this moment and things seem gloomy and dull.Someone you trusted and wanted to spend the rest of life apparently has a boyfriend "such what a deception" . You know every day as a grow up I am reminded to never trust human beings ,they will always break your heart.Don't give your heart out to human beings for we are weak fragile beings who are clueless .With your eyes you must your are alone in this world , You only have Allah . Even your family will leave you one day , your friends and spouses.
I can’t fathom the extreme pain you are going through.It also seems that this has happened to you before . You can cry akhi, get depressed ,punch a wall or even get revenge .Its all human instinct but once you calm down and think logically you will understand that this is a test from Allah.
Allah in one second can give you the most, righteous , beautiful and obedient woman to have ever existed.
You mentioned that it happened to you few times , why?Now you can assume its a pusnishement from Allah or you can assume that you are not worthy .But what i think is , that Allah is testing you with something that will bring you closer to Him.Wallahi with every hardship comes ease . Everytime i am tested if i remain patient and complain to Allah i get an immediate response of relief .
It's all about having a certain perspective of life . Life is a test and everything is a test for you, including the individuals you interect with . You will be tested , and it will hurt.
You will be tired and worn from the of storm..so pull yourself from the sea and Ask Allah to bring you safely on the dry land.
Deal with the pain of by getting closer to Allah and surround yourself with the believers and your friends. Dont let shaytan deceive and convince to isolate yourself. Akhi whenever you go through a test you should remind your self that the trial could have been worse (she could have been your wife ), the trial is in this world and not the hereafter and that the test is with the dunya and it is not corncering your eman (you could have been tested with your belief and what is more evil than becoming a kaffir.)
, “And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient,” 2:55
“Who, when disaster strikes them, say, "Indeed we belong to Allah , and indeed to Him we will return." 2:56
“Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the [rightly] guided.”2:57
The best
How can you deal with your pain ?
Whenever you come across a test , try to say alhamdullilah for your test could have been worse. Secondly remain patient and wait for the ease that your lord will eventually bring you. Futhermore surround yourself with teh believers so they can remind you to be patient.
Whenever i advice people i always tell them not to give up >?Why do you have self defeated though process ? Are yuo denying the mercy of your lord ? Are you giving up on what Allah can guive you ? My one advice would be don’t give on searching for the woman of your dreams because eventually we are blessed with something which we are truly happy with. As for this woman she will get what she deserves. But as a muslim the right response would be for you to make dua for her that Allah guides her to the straight path. If my faince had a gf i would be in a lot of paqin but i woul make dua for him at the end (i think Allah knows best)
May Allah make it easy for you , remember Allah the Alimighty is aware of your pain and you will inshaAllah get an immense reward in this world and the hereafter. J
Greetings and peace be with you Huzaifah ibn Adam;
Apparently, there are 3.52 billion women in the world.
Don't give up. You'll find a different woman to marry.
That's very naughty, a billion or two must be married, a few hundred million must be under age, and a few hundred million must be over 60. I doubt if there are a billion suitable women left for our main man to choose a spouse from. Oh! and minus one more, Mr scimi cannot marry his present fiancé. Cold showers are the answer.
Greetings and peace be with you Huzaifah ibn Adam;
That's very naughty, a billion or two must be married, a few hundred million must be under age, and a few hundred million must be over 60. I doubt if there are a billion suitable women left for our main man to choose a spouse from. Oh! and minus one more, Mr scimi cannot marry his present fiancé. Cold showers are the answer.
Nah. If Adolph Hitler can find a girl, I'm sure that there's hope. I mean, Scimi can't be more hopeless than Hitler, can he?
Apparently there're lots of single Muslim ladies in Malaysia and Indonesia. Why not take a holiday there and marry four one time? The women there are very happy with being co-wives. From what I hear.
format_quote Originally Posted by Huzaifah ibn Adam
Apparently there're lots of single Muslim ladies in Malaysia and Indonesia. Why not take a holiday there and marry four one time? The women there are very happy with being co-wives. From what I hear.
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