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  1. #1
    Aaqib's Avatar
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    My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical...

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    ...how can I prove to my dad that I'm not?
    My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical...

    He is Allah, other than whom there is no deity, the Sovereign, the Pure, the Perfection, the Bestower of Faith, the Overseer, the Exalted in Might, the Compeller, the Superior. Exalted is Allah above whatever they associate with Him [59:23]




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    Huzaifah ibn Adam's Avatar
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    Re: My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical..

    The first step is to define "radical". People use terms like "radical", "fundamentalist", etc. in a derogatory sense, but in reality what they are referring to by it is a person who follows Islaam entirely.
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    My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical...

    اللي مالوش حد له ربّنا

  4. #3
    Scimitar's Avatar
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    Re: My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical..

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaqib View Post
    ...how can I prove to my dad that I'm not?
    by obeying him.

    Scimi

  5. #4
    cooterhein's Avatar
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    Re: My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical..

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaqib View Post
    ...how can I prove to my dad that I'm not?
    I have an idea. Hear me out, keep an open mind, this might actually work.

    You live in the US, so there's a time difference that makes it rather hard to do this live....but here's the idea. Go here. http://lbc.audioagain.com/ Show that to your dad and ask him if he'd be willing to subscribe to this. Well, okay, don't ask him that right away, explain why first.

    What you could offer to do with him, is listen to some of the Maajid Nawaz podcasts along with him. If he's willing to subscribe to the thing, you'll have access to archived podcasts and the two of you could listen to some shows and then discuss what you think of it.

    If you tell your dad that you'd be willing to do that with him, I'm absolutely certain that would convince him that this site is not making you radical. I mean, it's within the realm of possibility that some slightly radical people are or at some point have been on this forum, but it's not fair to cherry-pick members or posts and then say that represents the forum as a whole. Really, it's not fair, and I'm sure you've learned all sorts of really valuable things here that have enriched your life.
    Last edited by MuslimInshallah; 10-09-2016 at 02:33 PM. Reason: for clarity.
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    Huzaifah ibn Adam's Avatar
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    Re: My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical..

    Quote Originally Posted by Scimitar View Post
    by obeying him.

    Scimi
    That's good advice.

    Always obey your parents as the Qur'aan commands, except if they order you to do something which is Haraam. In such a case, do not do it; however, continue to maintain respect for them and behave with the best of Akhlaaq towards them.
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    My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical...

    اللي مالوش حد له ربّنا

  8. #6
    cooterhein's Avatar
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    Re: My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical..

    Quote Originally Posted by Huzaifah ibn Adam View Post
    The first step is to define "radical". People use terms like "radical", "fundamentalist", etc. in a derogatory sense, but in reality what they are referring to by it is a person who follows Islaam entirely.
    You're partly right. They are referring to people who Believe they follow Islam entirely....while also using that as a reason to engage in lawless acts of violence. Which is, arguably, quite un-Islamic, and that's an argument that absolutely needs to be made. The thing is though, the "radicals" and "fundamentalists" in question see things differently, and violence is the result. That's why it's a problem. People don't take issue with those who follow Islam entirely, just as long as they don't contribute to violence.
    Last edited by MuslimInshallah; 10-09-2016 at 02:26 PM. Reason: for clarity

  9. #7
    Search's Avatar
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    Re: My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical..

    (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

    (Peace be upon you)

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaqib View Post
    ...how can I prove to my dad that I'm not?
    I'm sorry to hear that your father is becoming troubled with you using this site; however, I'd note that you should still obey your father as brother Scimitar wisely recommended. When I started practicing Islam, what didn't I hear from my parents. They'd make fun of my salat (prayer), constantly dissuade me from fasting during Shahru Ramadan in case I became too weak to study, and my mom had point-blank told me that she'd refuse to talk to me ever if I decided to wear the hijab. They'd even ask me if I was planning on being a terrorist and wondered out loud constantly if I was planning on becoming an extremist. It was difficult in the beginning to show them that I'm just the same person they love but that something inside me had changed, but I knew I couldn't do that with words alone; so, instead of responding by being difficult with them in return, I'd instead just make duas (supplications) for my parents and decided to become my best with them. Both my parents came around to accepting of the change in me.

    Brother, what we don't need are more people to tell others what Islam is or isn't but we should as much as we can try to embody what Islam is within our character; of course, we'll have flaws and foibles going forward no matter our efforts as simply part and parcel of being human beings, but we should as much as possible still try to succeed and try to introspect wherein we're going wrong with others and try to correct ourselves wherein possible.

    Remember Prophet Muhammad said, "I was been sent to perfect noble character." Be patient with your parents, especially your father, because you owe him that respect. This respect doesn't meant that your father is allowed to oppress you in any manner as I should note, but this respect does mean that you listen and obey your father in recognition of the fact that he's concerned for you and wants the best for you and this honor is his right in Islam.

    While I'm happy that you're on this site as a wonderful little brother, I recognize that you should be concerned about making your father happy with you as that's wherein Allah's happiness lies. Please do not make the mistake of arguing with your father as then he'd turn more intractable as arguments are poison in situations like that; instead, show in yourself the willingness to humble yourself before him. When he's cooled down, invite him either to browse the site himself at his leisure or to join this site himself so that all of us Muslims and non-Muslims alike can perhaps benefit from his wisdom and experience. And as always, be patient with anything of concern, because Allah has said in the Quran that Allah is with the patient (2:153). Patience will win you that which arguments never can - the heart.

    (And peace be upon you)
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  10. #8
    Aaqib's Avatar
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    Re: My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical..

    Quote Originally Posted by Scimitar View Post
    by obeying him.

    Scimi
    I'm trying to make my parents happy, but Allah comes first. The whole issue is on music classes, he wants me to take music classes. How can I obey him?
    Last edited by Aaqib; 10-09-2016 at 05:31 PM.
    My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical...

    He is Allah, other than whom there is no deity, the Sovereign, the Pure, the Perfection, the Bestower of Faith, the Overseer, the Exalted in Might, the Compeller, the Superior. Exalted is Allah above whatever they associate with Him [59:23]




  11. #9
    Huzaifah ibn Adam's Avatar
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    Re: My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical..

    No no. No obedience in Haraam. He won't carry your sins on the Day of Qiyaamah. A person shouldn't throw himself into Jahannam for someone else's sake. Think about your own Aakhirah.
    | Likes Scimitar liked this post
    My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical...

    اللي مالوش حد له ربّنا

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    cooterhein's Avatar
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    Re: My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical..

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaqib View Post
    I'm trying to make my parents happy, but Allah comes first. The whole issue is on music classes, he wants me to take music classes. How can I obey him?
    Are these music classes at school, in an educational setting? Or is this about music lessons outside of school, so you can learn to play an instrument? It might make a difference, depending which it is.

  14. #11
    Aaqib's Avatar
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    Re: My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical..

    Quote Originally Posted by cooterhein View Post
    Are these music classes at school, in an educational setting? Or is this about music lessons outside of school, so you can learn to play an instrument? It might make a difference, depending which it is.
    Learn to play an instrument inside of school...


    and btw my dad has blocked half of the site, a matter of time he'll block the whole site.
    My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical...

    He is Allah, other than whom there is no deity, the Sovereign, the Pure, the Perfection, the Bestower of Faith, the Overseer, the Exalted in Might, the Compeller, the Superior. Exalted is Allah above whatever they associate with Him [59:23]




  15. #12
    Reminder's Avatar
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    Re: My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical..

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaqib View Post
    Learn to play an instrument inside of school...


    and btw my dad has blocked half of the site, a matter of time he'll block the whole site.
    You don't need to obey anyone when they tell you to do something wrong.

    Father, mother, brother, sister, sheikh, teacher, or anyone else.

    Will you become radical from this forum? I doubt that.

  16. #13
    Aaqib's Avatar
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    Re: My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical..

    Quote Originally Posted by Reminder View Post
    You don't need to obey anyone when they tell you to do something wrong.

    Father, mother, brother, sister, sheikh, teacher, or anyone else.

    Will you become radical from this forum? I doubt that.
    I know, I'm going early to talk to the counselor on Tuesday.
    | Likes Reminder liked this post
    My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical...

    He is Allah, other than whom there is no deity, the Sovereign, the Pure, the Perfection, the Bestower of Faith, the Overseer, the Exalted in Might, the Compeller, the Superior. Exalted is Allah above whatever they associate with Him [59:23]




  17. #14
    AHMED PATEL's Avatar
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    Re: My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical..

    focus on your studies and prayers
    strengthen your relationship with allah taala and your parents.
    speak to family members and your father,they care for you,more than anyone here
    remember youre parents will always be there for you inshallah,we wont.

    prioritise..

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    cooterhein's Avatar
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    Re: My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical..

    Quote Originally Posted by Aaqib View Post
    Learn to play an instrument inside of school...


    and btw my dad has blocked half of the site, a matter of time he'll block the whole site.
    Okay, with this being a school thing that does make it a bit more complicated. It's not unheard of for a parent to arrange for a religious exemption with these types of classes. Sometimes the school will say "You have the option of participating in a way that doesn't involve handling an instrument," and other times that parent may take you out of class for an hour. But this is usually done at the behest of parents, I think your specific situation is rather uncommon. As far as I know, anyway.

    I would be curious to know how this goes for you, talking with the counselor and trying to make arrangements. This is the type of thing that I wouldn't have much of a chance to hear about if I wasn't hearing it from you. Now, just on general principle, I would recommend engaging with your dad on this particular issue within the context of your religious community. Get him to sit down with you and talk to your imam. See what you can work out. If your imam tells your dad this isn't extreme and you shouldn't be concerned, I think that will go a long way with your dad.

    As far as I've been made aware, this is a rather complicated and somewhat contentious issue on which there isn't clear and universal consensus. I think it would be worthwhile to have an in-depth discussion that helps you find out exactly where your own mosque is at with this. It would seem that you and your dad have reached different conclusions. I would actually be rather curious to know what your imam says.

    Do you already have a really good idea of what the stated position of your mosque is? Is this something that your imam has made clear to you in the past? This is just for my own curiosity- even if you know what it is, it would help a lot if you, your dad, and your imam could be in the same room talking for a little while.

    Now, just from a practical standpoint, your dad might not really support you on this. But if you can show him that your imam is backing you, I think he'll agree to disagree and stop giving you a hard time about it. At the very least, it will be more difficult for him to call this extreme, if it's something that your imam is willing to help you out with. Something else to think about would be the role that your imam could play in talking to the school. He doesn't necessarily have to show up in person, although he could. There's a lot of ways to do this. He could write a note, or type up a letter, basically explaining the religious reasons that go into this. And then here, call this number if you want to follow up. That could be a good starting point- if your imam is willing to back you on this.

    Good luck to you, and I hope we get to find out how it goes.
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  20. #16
    Karl's Avatar
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    Re: My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical..

    Yes there are radicals on this forum the atheists and some liberal theists. Maybe your dad is right.
    Islam is very conservative, not radical at all.
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  21. #17
    Aaqib's Avatar
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    Re: My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical..

    OH COME ON NOW THE COUNSELOR JUST SAID NOW THAT SHE HAS TO RECEIVE AN ACCEPTANCE FROM MY DAD AND I GOT A HUGE YELLING.

    I don't know this is so hard, I will be beaten like crap if I refuse to play the instruments..

    And btw thanks Karl, you gave me an idea, I will call a religious teacher of mines and she'll talk to my dad, I hope it works out.


    ...

    I'm not like Ibrahim (as) where the fire didn't hurt him at all this beating is REALLY going to hurt, even though it says in islam no scars must be on the child's skin he doesn't care...

    This is my penalty for being so ignorant of Islam.
    My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical...

    He is Allah, other than whom there is no deity, the Sovereign, the Pure, the Perfection, the Bestower of Faith, the Overseer, the Exalted in Might, the Compeller, the Superior. Exalted is Allah above whatever they associate with Him [59:23]




  22. #18
    Aaqib's Avatar
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    Re: My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical..

    I don't want to loose trust in Allah I want Allah to give me a dream to help me....
    My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical...

    He is Allah, other than whom there is no deity, the Sovereign, the Pure, the Perfection, the Bestower of Faith, the Overseer, the Exalted in Might, the Compeller, the Superior. Exalted is Allah above whatever they associate with Him [59:23]




  23. #19
    Little_Lion's Avatar
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    Re: My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical..

    Could you learn to play the daff?

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    Aaqib's Avatar
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    Re: My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical..

    Quote Originally Posted by Little_Lion View Post
    Could you learn to play the daff?
    No, I have to play the violin....
    My dad is trying to block this site as he thinks this site is making me radical...

    He is Allah, other than whom there is no deity, the Sovereign, the Pure, the Perfection, the Bestower of Faith, the Overseer, the Exalted in Might, the Compeller, the Superior. Exalted is Allah above whatever they associate with Him [59:23]





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