Assalamualaikum.. i've proeblem with my sex desire... n unfortunately... this desire kind off different.. i am a boy and i feell like atrached to the same gender... this is make me depresed or even frustrased.. coz im tring to pray to Allah but i just cant make a change.. now,, im stop praying but feel empty n kind of lost... what should i do ? how to manage my sexulaty ? N is it a sin if i chosee Not to get maried for the rest of my life.. ?
JazakIllah.. Im sory with my english ? Wassalam
The very first thing that you have to do is to be constant on your Salaah. You mentioned that you aren't performing Salaah anymore; that is one of the worst things to do. These kinds of thoughts are caused by Shaytaan. The more you strengthen your relationship with Allaah Ta`aalaa, the more these kinds of thoughts and feelings will disappear, In Shaa Allaah. The very first step in that direction is to establish Salaah and to be consistent upon it. Leaving off Salaah leaves you open to the Wasaawis (insinuations) of Shaytaan.
With regards to marriage, the `Ulamaa have said that if a person fears he will fall into Haraam if he abstains from marriage, then marriage becomes Fardh (obligatory) upon him. If you do not get married, what will happen?
One advice I must give here is that, never ever consider homosexuality to be permissible, like some people do these days. The Qur'aan and Sunnah are clear that homosexuality is Haraam and a sin. If a person believes that homosexuality is permissible, he becomes a Kaafir. If a person says that homosexuality is Haraam and evil, but does it anyway, he remains a Muslim, albeit a sinful one. However, Shaytaan tries to take people into the trap of saying that it is permissible, and when the person has fallen into that trap, he has left Islaam, wal-`Iyaadhu Billaah.
I recently answered a question like this on my blog. I think it might be relevant to you inshaaAllah.
I hope you find some kind of comfort/benefit in it.
Question: What are your views on people who are homosexual?
Answer:
My views will always align with Islam on matters like this, and it’s an issue that’s often handled horrendously- something which I’d like to send my apologies for on behalf of the Muslims who don’t realise manners is a pinnacle of their faith.
Homosexuality- as per the action, is prohibited in Islam.
Having thoughts and desires- this can’t be helped.
We all have thoughts and desires, and Allah is forgiving of that.
It’s the action that makes the difference.
As Muslims we believe that limits have been set in certain areas of life as a test to us, to test our obedience.
Will we choose Allah over the world? Will we choose Allah over ourselves?
Islam does have a place for people who are gay- it’s maybe not an easy place, and perhaps a lot of ignorant Muslims have a lot of prejudice, but there is a place.
We believe that when you are fighting an inner battle, which many of us do, Allah has knowledge of it
Allah knows when you are resisting something for His sake, He knows when you are struggling, He knows the absolute strength and suffering it might take.
For every breath that a person takes that they are struggling and resisting for Allah, then inshaaAllah (God willing) this is a reward.
Imagine a reward for every breath. A reward that not many others can get or comprehend.
The harder it is to give something up, the larger the reward.
As far as marriage? You might not be able to marry a lover.
What about protecting a widow? What about struggling together with another person of the opposite gender who’s also gay?
What about keeping someone vulnerable safe through marriage? Someone who’s being abused by an awful family?
What about marrying someone who is aesexual and taking the burden of sexual expectation away from them?
What about someone who can be your best friend in the whole world.
You might not be able to marry a lover-But you do not have to be alone.
Lastly, I’d like to say
There is no worse thing I or any other Muslim could do than lie about this.
It’s extremely toxic to trick someone into accepting a religion that’s been sugarcoated to then lead them into inner turmoil when they find out the real truth of things.
No one deserves to be tricked and lied to. And no one can say that Islam as per the Quran and Sunnah is permitting of gay relationships.
It’s not kind to those who are gay- rather it’s harmful to pretend.
If someone becomes Muslim it needs to be eyes open.
Everyone needs to understand, for people who are gay, this is their life, this is their identity. It’s extremely cruel to tell them that they don’t have to make changes if they become Muslim- because they will find out otherwise, and it will hurt them.
It’s not fair to let them take that step and make that conviction and for them to then find out that they’ve been given false information.
If anyone decides to become Muslim it should be with facts - not because someone is so desperate for a shahadah that they’ll say anything to get you in.
So yes, gay relationships aren’t permitted in Islam, but people, human beings, regardless of background, are always always welcome.
*Side note, I am not a scholar, just a Muslimah with a blog, may Allah forgive me for any error and may Allah guide us to the truth, Ameen.
I recently answered a question like this on my blog. I think it might be relevant to you inshaaAllah.
I hope you find some kind of comfort/benefit in it.
Question: What are your views on people who are homosexual?
Answer:
My views will always align with Islam on matters like this, and it’s an issue that’s often handled horrendously- something which I’d like to send my apologies for on behalf of the Muslims who don’t realise manners is a pinnacle of their faith.
Homosexuality- as per the action, is prohibited in Islam.
Having thoughts and desires- this can’t be helped.
We all have thoughts and desires, and Allah is forgiving of that.
It’s the action that makes the difference.
As Muslims we believe that limits have been set in certain areas of life as a test to us, to test our obedience.
Will we choose Allah over the world? Will we choose Allah over ourselves?
Islam does have a place for people who are gay- it’s maybe not an easy place, and perhaps a lot of ignorant Muslims have a lot of prejudice, but there is a place.
We believe that when you are fighting an inner battle, which many of us do, Allah has knowledge of it
Allah knows when you are resisting something for His sake, He knows when you are struggling, He knows the absolute strength and suffering it might take.
For every breath that a person takes that they are struggling and resisting for Allah, then inshaaAllah (God willing) this is a reward.
Imagine a reward for every breath. A reward that not many others can get or comprehend.
The harder it is to give something up, the larger the reward.
As far as marriage? You might not be able to marry a lover.
What about protecting a widow? What about struggling together with another person of the opposite gender who’s also gay?
What about keeping someone vulnerable safe through marriage? Someone who’s being abused by an awful family?
What about marrying someone who is aesexual and taking the burden of sexual expectation away from them?
What about someone who can be your best friend in the whole world.
You might not be able to marry a lover-But you do not have to be alone.
Lastly, I’d like to say
There is no worse thing I or any other Muslim could do than lie about this.
It’s extremely toxic to trick someone into accepting a religion that’s been sugarcoated to then lead them into inner turmoil when they find out the real truth of things.
No one deserves to be tricked and lied to. And no one can say that Islam as per the Quran and Sunnah is permitting of gay relationships.
It’s not kind to those who are gay- rather it’s harmful to pretend.
If someone becomes Muslim it needs to be eyes open.
Everyone needs to understand, for people who are gay, this is their life, this is their identity. It’s extremely cruel to tell them that they don’t have to make changes if they become Muslim- because they will find out otherwise, and it will hurt them.
It’s not fair to let them take that step and make that conviction and for them to then find out that they’ve been given false information.
If anyone decides to become Muslim it should be with facts - not because someone is so desperate for a shahadah that they’ll say anything to get you in.
So yes, gay relationships aren’t permitted in Islam, but people, human beings, regardless of background, are always always welcome.
*Side note, I am not a scholar, just a Muslimah with a blog, may Allah forgive me for any error and may Allah guide us to the truth, Ameen.
Jazakillah.. finally someone who knows me... may Allag guide uss all..
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