i'M IN A SERIOUS TIME OF CRISIS RIGHT NOW!!!!!!

[Roha Shama]

Asalam O Alaikum Brothers and Sisters,Recently i've been kind of like a lazy good for nothing person and still who doesn't bother to solve her problem...i don't do drugs,i have no affairs with people or anything like that but i'm still not satisfied with my life you see no one understands me in my family they only make fun of me and call me crazy when i lose control because of anger management issues,my family is as always messed up and not very close to Islam half of my family uses black magic to ruin us,i feel like Allah isn't helping me or is it that i'm not fixing myself? i'm thinking of committing suicide i have sense that it's haraam but wish it wasn't,i know i'm talking crazy right now,but want to escape my life badly my mother doesn't care about my problems..my father is a lunatic and so are my siblings,i wish i wasn't born....i feel like i have no hope i don't study and i'm home schooled i have extreme social anxiety and i'm very sensitive..

[muslim brother]

my sister/daughter allah taala is not displeased with you

it appears you are a victim of toxic /possessive narrow minded parenting

and allah taala knows best

rights of children do exist and mosques and lecturers have to stop talking about rights of parents all the time too

[Roha Shama]

my sister/daughter allah taala is not displeased with you

it appears you are a victim of toxic /possessive narrow minded parenting

and allah taala knows best

rights of children do exist and mosques and lecturers have to stop talking about rights of parents all the time too

well i was abused in my childhood by my mom and sometimes by dad,but that was because my dad tortured her and she beat me up when i skipped school because of dad always blaming her for that , was never a confident kid from the start i had problems in school and my mom and dad forced me to go they even black mailed me instead of understanding my problem....maybe that's why my life is still messed up

[muslim brother]

you are a victim
your parents unfortunately need educating

i would prefer sisters to talk to you too online and real life
i presume you will also not be allowed to find your own husband,this will further compound your problems

we need education in the south asian community badly,in the uk and ,india pakistan.

the culture has been carried over to the u.k somewhat.

my advice is be patient and do duas to allah taala and wait for allahs decision,
there are always good days after bad.always

[Roha Shama]

you are a victim
your parents unfortunately need educating

i would prefer sisters to talk to you too online and real life
i presume you will also not be allowed to find your own husband,this will further compound your problems

we need education in the south asian community badly,in the uk and ,india pakistan.

the culture has been carried over to the u.k somewhat.

my advice is be patient and do duas to allah taala and wait for allahs decision,
there are always good days after bad.always

Yes you are right these countries have too many uneducated families who don't know who to raise their young correctly.

[Roha Shama]

you are a victim
your parents unfortunately need educating

i would prefer sisters to talk to you too online and real life
i presume you will also not be allowed to find your own husband,this will further compound your problems

we need education in the south asian community badly,in the uk and ,india pakistan.

the culture has been carried over to the u.k somewhat.

my advice is be patient and do duas to allah taala and wait for allahs decision,
there are always good days after bad.always

who am i supposed to talk to?no one replies to me because i'm probably weird in their eyes or something.

[Al Sultan]

Do you have a local mosque? try to go to there,and try to talk to the imam,he may help you inshallah,this could be a great test from allah to test you brother,but always never lose hope in allah,and never go away from your prayers.

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you Roha Shahbaz;

i lose control because of anger management issues,i start throwing things in anger,

I am so sorry to hear you have suffered abuse from your parents, and by the sounds of it you have every right to be angry- BUT, this anger will destroy you, more than it will destroy your parents. Mahatma Ghandi said, only the strong can forgive. Pray for your mother and father, pray that they will find peace and happiness.

The prophet pbuh said, if you are angry standing up, then sit down, if you are angry sitting down then lay down. When you feel anger approaching, lower your voice and talk quietly, slow down the words that come out your mouth.

Deep down you are a kind and caring person, your anger gets in the way of you becoming the person you need to be, change yourself, and your parents will change towards you. Life is a struggle to do the right thing, fight all battles with loving kindness.

Never give up hope that Allah wants what is good for you, he will never place a burden on you that you cannot endure.

Praying for you and your family.

Eric

[Umm Abed]

Wa alaikum salam sister,

Im sorry to hear about your problems and as it is, this world is full of problems its just each one has it differently.

How you deal with it is what makes the difference, so, seeing that you didnt have a good start in early life that doesnt mean all is lost. One of the first aspects to a better change is positive thinking. You can do this by changing the mindset into a more positive one, set goals for yourself -- and work towards it.

Your fulfillment is your gain, so continue to make effort in improving yourself and mentally you need to be positive even thought there is adversity. What happened in the past is gone now and no one can change it. Look towards a brighter future, study well, take up some hobbies which you really enjoy then excel in it.

Try not to feel sorry for yourself because this is mentally destructive and draining. These are just few of the self-help things to do to improve your life.

[Umm Abed]

You also mention that you are thinking about suicide. Never let the shaitan lead you on this kind of thinking because real troubles only begin with suicide, so dont wish for haram. There is no good in it.

Finally, the most important thing of all is to follow Islam rigidly and be always conscious and aware of your actions, fulfilling every fard act and trying to fulfill sunnah actions too.

Read the Qur'an daily even if its just a small portion. In that way you get closer to Allah and there will be so much barakah in your life.

[Little_Lion]

Sister, is there any way that you can take yourself out of this situation? Can you move out with other relatives, or is it an option to live on your own or with other women where you are?

Allah protect you from your family, and guide them to the right Path in His grace.

And please, insha'Allah, do not consider suicide. It is the most terrible thing.

[Roha Shama]

Do you have a local mosque? try to go to there,and try to talk to the imam,he may help you inshallah,this could be a great test from allah to test you brother,but always never lose hope in allah,and never go away from your prayers.

i'm not male and yes they also have mosques for females as well here but i'm extremely shy,i'm suffering from social anxiety you see so i pray at my home.

[Roha Shama]

Sister, is there any way that you can take yourself out of this situation? Can you move out with other relatives, or is it an option to live on your own or with other women where you are?

Allah protect you from your family, and guide them to the right Path in His grace.

And please, insha'Allah, do not consider suicide. It is the most terrible thing.

oh umm many women here are very corrupt and so are my relatives they envy us and use black magic on us so i can't live by myself or with any stranger i'm only 16 and my country's situation is getting worse day by day now India has declared a war against our country for no reason just because they want to conquer it and make it a part of their country they are even terrorizing kashimiri people

[Roha Shama]

Greetings and peace be with you Roha Shahbaz;


I am so sorry to hear you have suffered abuse from your parents, and by the sounds of it you have every right to be angry- BUT, this anger will destroy you, more than it will destroy your parents. Mahatma Ghandi said, only the strong can forgive. Pray for your mother and father, pray that they will find peace and happiness.

The prophet pbuh said, if you are angry standing up, then sit down, if you are angry sitting down then lay down. When you feel anger approaching, lower your voice and talk quietly, slow down the words that come out your mouth.

Deep down you are a kind and caring person, your anger gets in the way of you becoming the person you need to be, change yourself, and your parents will change towards you. Life is a struggle to do the right thing, fight all battles with loving kindness.

Never give up hope that Allah wants what is good for you, he will never place a burden on you that you cannot endure.

Praying for you and your family.

Eric

wow i never knew people could be so generous in such a world full of corruption thanks

[Roha Shama]

You also mention that you are thinking about suicide. Never let the shaitan lead you on this kind of thinking because real troubles only begin with suicide, so dont wish for haram. There is no good in it.

Finally, the most important thing of all is to follow Islam rigidly and be always conscious and aware of your actions, fulfilling every fard act and trying to fulfill sunnah actions too.

Read the Qur'an daily even if its just a small portion. In that way you get closer to Allah and there will be so much barakah in your life.

i know i have sense that suicide is haraam,i also used to act like i'm going to commit suicide so my family would pay attention to me but it was no use.

[Al Sultan]

But sister even if you're a female,what you're going through is a critical crisis and I advice you sincerely to go the imam and talk to him,hes the only solution! please do not be shy,you have to seek help from others,because in the future this will harm YOU severely and physiologically,so I advice you to go there sister,it's the ONLY thing you can do.

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you Roha Shahbaz;

i know i have sense that suicide is haraam,i also used to act like i'm going to commit suicide so my family would pay attention to me but it was no use.

Anger is like drinking poison, and hoping the other person dies!

This is a very dark place to be in, for a kind and caring person like yourself. You are hurting deep down, and you cannot bring yourself to harm your parents directly, but you know that if you harmed yourself, it would be on your parents conscience, they would blame themselves.

If you cannot get justice for the past abuse, you need to try and find ways to forgive them, just let go, you will find a profound sense of peace once you stop blaming them for the past. If you every have children yourself, you will find it incredibly difficult being a mother, life is tough, you could end up making the same mistakes as your mother. I am sure that when she was younger she had good intentions, but life can beat those good intentions out of you.

Even if your parents do not say sorry, forgive them anyway, this will be how you heal yourself....

I listened to Glen tell his story, he had been signed up to play football with Leighton Orient, alongside David Beckham. He had an exciting life ahead of him, but he was stabbed in the back shortly after, he has been paralysed from the waist down for the last 27 years, his wheelchair is his prison. They caught the man who did this, he served four years in prison, he was then able to walk out of prison on his own two feet, and justice had been served.

By this time, Glen had learned to drive a disabled taxi, he learned where his assailant lived, and then stalked him with the intention of running him over. Glen said at that point he came to understand that true justice could not happen. Justice is not that two people should be crippled, rather, it is that neither of them should be crippled. He knew this could never happen, he came to understand that he had to let go of his hatred. If not, he would become worse than his assailant, because his actions would be premeditated.

He said he had to live with two diseases, being crippled, and the greater disease was the hate burning away inside him. Forgiveness and letting go of the hatred was a gradual process, his wheelchair has been a daily reminder of the past injustice.

Pray for a blessing for your mother and father.

In the spirit of praying to a just and merciful God.

Eric

[Roha Shama]

But sister even if you're a female,what you're going through is a critical crisis and I advice you sincerely to go the imam and talk to him,hes the only solution! please do not be shy,you have to seek help from others,because in the future this will harm YOU severely and physiologically,so I advice you to go there sister,it's the ONLY thing you can do.

imams here are corrupt as well no one here can be trusted sadly

[Umm Abed]

i know i have sense that suicide is haraam,i also used to act like i'm going to commit suicide so my family would pay attention to me but it was no use.

Sister, you can still lead a good life by managing your own life and time correctly.

You also mentioned that you have anger issues, throwing things around, and this is only going to make your problem with your family worse. Its a really bad cycle. Nobody is going to take a person seriously if they are losing control of their anger.

So, start on working on that, and the advices I gave you in my above threads, please read them again and practise on them. Thats the only way to make yourself feel better about the world around you.

Bring Islam into the home. Read the Qur'an daily, then their will be barakah.

[Al Sultan]

Really? how do you know? maybe you can go around different mosques if you can,if you're over age maybe,but I say listen to our brother Umm Abed's advice,read the quran more,understand it,and I will make dua for you and may allah inshallah listen to you and ease your situation


"With every hardship comes ease" ~ Quran Al Kareem