A better question would be, is it your place to tell her anything as a non mahram?
I've never even seen a sheikh or imam at the masjid correct a sister who walks in with inappropriate attire.
My husband won't simply tell me, if he sees my hijab loose or my clothes too snug, he'll fix it for me LOL. My dad always commented on my attire growing up and my family isn't Muslim. That's being a true guardian of women, imo.
I would not welcome a strange man telling me how to dress, he shouldn't even be looking at me, let alone talking to me, but if it is a mahram male, I will consider and in most cases take action .
Nope, the sisters who are dressed inappropriate are brainwashed. What i mean by brainwashed is they see left as right and right as left in the subject of clothing. Dressing such clothes is for them normal and "freedom"....yeah.."freedom". For me rather it is a sign that her fitrah is messed up as she has lost her shame for bigger part. Although you see sometimes the fitrah correcting it self when she for example walks by and tries to bull down her shirt over her behind to cover it so the men there don't look at it. This happens automatically. When she likes somebody, she would rather use her body to seduce the guy. Very evil practice if you ask me.
I rather would play the psychological game with her. Do exactly the opposite what people now a days do. Do NOT look at her, do NOT greet her..see her as if she doesn't exist. This with the hope that she starts pondering why you behave so odd compared to other men who look at her with lust. This often will in'sha'Allah trigger something in her and investigate what is going on instead of staying a sheep. Women dress to impress, if somebody is not impressed often she becomes enraged one could say. Somebody who is not impressed by her beauty is as if you stabbed her heart.
Is he gay and thus he doesn't look at me? But if he was gay, he would at least have greeted me or looked at me and still does not even do that. What is going on? Am i not beautiful enough that he doesn't look at me? But that doesn't make sense because ALL the men give me attention. What is going on? Let me talk to him (Asks you something..you give her a normal and respectful answer to her question and goes on with your business not giving her any attention except answer the question). This will mess with her mind VERY VERY good that she starts pondering about things. Women are obsessive beings. You can mentally break a woman with just 1 sentence. So psychology is a good way to trigger their pondering and in'sha'Allah she her self will correct herself and Allah(swt) guides her about shame and clothing aspect.
Last edited by Simple_Person; 03-21-2017 at 04:19 PM.
I feel it would to be very embarassing if some unknown brother comes to correct me about dressing. As well I wouldn´t correct any brother because of his dressing or if I see he´s doing something what is forbidden in Islam. I just make dua that Allah will guides him.
Sisters have corrected me but that´s the other thing.
Gotta give it to the sisters for answering a question intended for the brothers jazakum allahu khair for your replies nonetheless.
format_quote Originally Posted by Umm♥Layth
A better question would be, is it your place to tell her anything as a non mahram?
I've never even seen a sheikh or imam at the masjid correct a sister who walks in with inappropriate attire.
My husband won't even tell me, if he sees my hijab loose or my clothes too snug, he'll fix it for me LOL. My dad always commented on my attire growing up and my family isn't Muslim.
I would not welcome a strange man telling me how to dress, he shouldn't even be looking at me, let alone talking to me, but if it is a mahram male, I will consider and in most cases take action .
Would you feel the same about a sister approaching you?
format_quote Originally Posted by Simple_Person
Nope, the sisters who are dressed inappropriate are brainwashed. What i mean by brainwashed is they see left as right and right as left in the subject of clothing. Dressing such clothes is for them normal and "freedom"....yeah.."freedom". For me rather it is a sign that her fitrah is messed up as she has lost her shame for bigger part. Although you see sometimes the fitrah correcting it self when she for example walks by and tries to bull down her shirt over her behind to cover it so the men there don't look at it. This happens automatically. When she likes somebody, she would rather use her body to seduce the guy. Very evil practice if you ask me.
I rather would play the psychological game with her. Do exactly the opposite what people now a days do. Do NOT look at her, do NOT greet her..see her as if she doesn't exist. This with the hope that she starts pondering why you behave so odd compared to other men who look at her with lust. This often will in'sha'Allah trigger something in her and investigate what is going on instead of staying a sheep. Women dress to impress, if somebody is not impressed often she becomes enraged one could say. Somebody who is not impressed by her beauty is as if you stabbed her heart.
Is he gay and thus he doesn't look at me? But if he was gay, he would at least have greeted me or looked at me and still does not even do that. What is going on? Am i not beautiful enough that he doesn't look at me? But that doesn't make sense because ALL the men give me attention. What is going on? Let me talk to him (Asks you something..you give her a normal and respectful answer to her question and goes on with your business not giving her any attention except answer the question). This will mess with her mind VERY VERY good that she starts pondering about things. Women are obsessive beings. You can mentally break a woman with just 1 sentence. So psychology is a good way to trigger their pondering and in'sha'Allah she her self will correct herself and Allah(swt) guides her about shame and clothing aspect.
So you're telling me, if you see a muslimah who's sitting alone at a bench in a park, say reading a book, minding her own business, her hijaab is on improperly or something...you automatically assume she's wearing her hijaab improperly for attention, and you would "ignore her" because her attention is really secretly focused on you and how you behave around her, so when she sees you there ignoring her she's going to think "oh this hot guy over there is straight up ignoring me, I wonder why???" Bro seriously???? loool And do you really think this is effective?
So you're telling me, if you see a muslimah who's sitting alone at a bench in a park, say reading a book, minding her own business, her hijaab is on improperly or something...you automatically assume she's wearing her hijaab improperly for attention, and you would "ignore her" because her attention is really secretly focused on you and how you behave around her, so when she sees you there ignoring her she's going to think "oh this hot guy over there is straight up ignoring me, I wonder why???" Bro seriously???? loool And do you really think this is effective?
Are you serious? Look at the topic name + your first comment.
Topic name: do brothers tell sisters to cover up? Your first comment: So you see a muslimah not properly covered/wearing hijaab improperly/etc...do you say anything to her?
There are sisters who are wearing hijab, but have such tight pants you would think if she would bend, her pants would be torn =_=!. This is my argument about. If a sister is properly covered with abaya for example but hijab is forgotten at some part or put on wrong, it is not my job to correct her. For me if i even see in the distance that a woman is sitting there, i already look down till i pass her by.
While you out of the blue has suddenly made it as if this topic was about a descent muslimah that just forget to cover some part of her hair =_=!. If this whole topic is about that what you just mentioned, i would like i said already have walked by her not even looking at her. I would already be SUPER satisfied that she respects her body and has shame to cover up properly but just forget some piece of hair sticking out. Islam is not about STRICT ruling and we all make mistakes and she must have forgotten about covering that part of her hair. People doing things out of ignorance are not looked down at you know. In the Middle East the ALL know they MUST cover their hair. But this stupid fashion from Iran with leaving out some part of their hair because it has become fashion among women =_=!. These women i would not even speak to, as they KNOW they are not allowed to do that, so it is not out of ignorance. As own family members do that. So what do i say about as they see me as if i am a extremist if i would bring up such a thing. Well ALHAMDULILLAH that every person is judged for their own deeds and according to their knowledge.
So i would say read your own topic first and than read my comment. OR change your topic name and first comment and i will in'sha'Allah also remove my comment..as it will also become off topic.
So you see a muslimah not properly covered/wearing hijaab improperly/etc...do you say anything to her?
Only online. I hardly see Muslims except in the masjid. When I do, i just mind my own business.
and this is why...
format_quote Originally Posted by sister herb
The think what would come to my mind if some brother comes to correct my dressing is... "so he didn´t lower his gaze then but stared at me".
Should I then correct him that staring isn´t allowed either?
@sister herb
: Think of it this way. would you rather a brother bring it to your attention if your hair, neck or some other part is showing or go home at end of the day and get a shock when you look in the mirror?
format_quote Originally Posted by Simple_Person
Nope, the sisters who are dressed inappropriate are brainwashed. What i mean by brainwashed is they see left as right and right as left in the subject of clothing. Dressing such clothes is for them normal and "freedom"....yeah.."freedom". For me rather it is a sign that her fitrah is messed up as she has lost her shame for bigger part. Although you see sometimes the fitrah correcting it self when she for example walks by and tries to bull down her shirt over her behind to cover it so the men there don't look at it. This happens automatically. When she likes somebody, she would rather use her body to seduce the guy. Very evil practice if you ask me.
Don't be too harsh in your view of things bro. There are sisters and brothers who grew up not knowing much about Islam because their parents didn't teach them or taught them the cultural islam. I"ve given dawah to sisters online and they have gone from dressing like westerners to throws their whole wardrobe out the window and buying a whole new loose fitting wadrobe to taking their pictures off of social media sites, etc.
Don't be too harsh in your view of things bro. There are sisters and brothers who grew up not knowing much about Islam because their parents didn't teach them or taught them the cultural islam. I"ve given dawah to sisters online and they have gone from dressing like westerners to throws their whole wardrobe out the window and buying a whole new loose fitting wadrobe to taking their pictures off of social media sites, etc.
This isn't about harshness. I have also talked with sisters online about clothing and they for example having shared their pictures with the whole world to see. I have advised them and 1 listened to me for like 1 week and then changed back to what she was doing before. Change isn't easy. Often it takes us to change our world 180 degrees. I left her as it is. The other sisters who out of culture are doing that, well my "harshness" is the Islamic way bro =_=!. We in Islam look down when we see a sister. We do not greet her if she passes by, we do not shake her hand. ..or is this extremism? I ONLY shake hands during job interviews or something in the direction of that seriousness. As choosing between two evils, making it more hard to have a descent job or shaking hand just once. So if you even follow Islamic way, you automatically do EXACTLY the same. As you act odd compared to other men who also have contact with that sister.
This isn't about harshness. I have also talked with sisters online about clothing and they for example having shared their pictures with the whole world to see. I have advised them and 1 listened to me for like 1 week and then changed back to what she was doing before. Change isn't easy. Often it takes us to change our world 180 degrees. I left her as it is. The other sisters who out of culture are doing that, well my "harshness" is the Islamic way bro =_=!. We in Islam look down when we see a sister. We do not greet her if she passes by, we do not shake her hand. ..or is this extremism? I ONLY shake hands during job interviews or something in the direction of that seriousness. As choosing between two evils, making it more hard to have a descent job or shaking hand just once. So if you even follow Islamic way, you automatically do EXACTLY the same. As you act odd compared to other men who also have contact with that sister.
There are lots of ifs and buts. There's lot of out of norm and exceptions. There are lot of muslims that you can't tell they are muslim unless they tell you. What you said seemed more like directed at women in general rather then Muslimahs in particular. while there are those who are lost and do dress as such. However, you are wrong to assume "sisters who are dressed inappropriate are brainwashed. What i mean by brainwashed is they see left as right and right as left in the subject of clothing". There sisters out there who genuinely don't know any better. Let me give you an example.
I used to have islamic profiles on social medias back in college days, places like myspace.com, hi5.com and the likes. I would leave comments on sisters and brother's profiles or pictures with islamic reminders. You can check out my hi5 profile (https://hi5.com/dawaah). Check out the gallery in there, check out pics especially one related to women. I met this one 16 old girl there who wore tight tops and had her pictures online. Her family told her to not put her pictures online but she didn't listen. After talking to me for a few days, she not only took her picture off the web but also took all her tight clothes out from the closet and set it aside. She went out on the weekend and bought some loose ones. She also started paying more attention to her salah, thinking about wearing hijab and learning more about her deen. So you see she dressed inappropriately not because she was brainwashed but because no one told her about the deen and how Islam values and honors her.
There are lots of ifs and buts. There's lot of out of norm and exceptions. There are lot of muslims that you can't tell they are muslim unless they tell you. What you said seemed more like directed at women in general rather then Muslimahs in particular. while there are those who are lost and do dress as such. However, you are wrong to assume "sisters who are dressed inappropriate are brainwashed. What i mean by brainwashed is they see left as right and right as left in the subject of clothing". There sisters out there who genuinely don't know any better. Let me give you an example.
I used to have islamic profiles on social medias back in college days, places like myspace.com, hi5.com and the likes. I would leave comments on sisters and brother's profiles or pictures with islamic reminders. You can check out my hi5 profile (https://hi5.com/dawaah). Check out the gallery in there, check out pics especially one related to women. I met this one 16 old girl there who wore tight tops and had her pictures online. Her family told her to not put her pictures online but she didn't listen. After talking to me for a few days, she not only took her picture off the web but also took all her tight clothes out from the closet and set it aside. She went out on the weekend and bought some loose ones. She also started paying more attention to her salah, thinking about wearing hijab and learning more about her deen. So you see she dressed inappropriately not because she was brainwashed but because no one told her about the deen and how Islam values and honors her.
Bro, you are EXACTLY saying what i am saying (brainwashed). Your approach to that part of my comment is rather wrong. Your question should have been by whom? My argument would have been by society. That innocent 16 year old girl, didn't know better because of society brainwashing her to dress like that as something normal. While when we start pondering really about the things we do and don't do in society, suddenly things don't make sense like for a sister wearing tight clothes as men would look at her with lust and not really care for her character or personality.
Gotta give it to the sisters for answering a question intended for the brothers jazakum allahu khair for your replies nonetheless.
Would you feel the same about a sister approaching you?
If my abaya was tucked in my pants (it happens!), or my button was down, or something that was obviously unintentional, then no, I would not mind if a sister told me something.
If it was a lecture about how my clothing isn't enough or too much, I would take it easily from an aunty, but a woman my age, I would probably be a bit bothered and just shrug it off.
I know this is not an excuse to stare, but women, compared to men, have it easier to lower their gaze. afaik. In that men have it harder to control.
I am just saying that.. It easy for the sisters to say "well, just look away, we both have eyes, we can just look away, easy" sometimes, it isn't that easy. Men are different from women, in the sense that women are stronger in this regard, than men.
I am not saying it is impossible for men, or anything, but one of our biggest weaknesses is women.
So I'd say, women, covering up is helping us men too.
Allahu alam.
Meaning of Shirk according to The Qur'an
" Worshipping anyone or anything besides Allah " or " distributing anything exclusive to Allah, to anyone or anything else "
Meaning of Tawheed according to The Qur'an Worshipping none but Allah. Affirming whatever is exclusive to Him, Him alone.
I know this is not an excuse to stare, but women, compared to men, have it easier to lower their gaze. afaik. In that men have it harder to control.
I am just saying that.. It easy for the sisters to say "well, just look away, we both have eyes, we can just look away, easy" sometimes, it isn't that easy. Men are different from women, in the sense that women are stronger in this regard, than men.
I am not saying it is impossible for men, or anything, but one of our biggest weaknesses is women.
So I'd say, women, covering up is helping us men too.
Allahu alam.
Yes, it helps both men and women.
I'd like to flip the coin though. Do you know how difficult it can be to cover up properly with scorching heat, or humidity, or lots of water on the ground. Not only is it expensive (just yesterday I was at the stores and no simple abaya was less than $60) and also being singled out as a Muslim with our attire.... lots of hardship that many of us endure for the sake of Allah, because he asked us to.
So yes, looking down is difficult and I do think it is unfair for women to compare themselves and say "we both have eyes" as men are very visual, but it is also difficult to cover yet we have some seriously self righteous brothers who blame all of societal illnesses on women and what they wear. Not nice.
I have seen that it might be sweet how sisters correct you; once in my work one sister came to talk with me and asked why I don´t use abaya at work. So I told her I haven´t any. At the next day she returned and gave me abaya and said she has so many in hers wardrobe that I can have one. Plus few hijabs too.
I'd like to flip the coin though. (1) Do you know how difficult it can be to cover up properly with scorching heat, or humidity, or lots of water on the ground. Not only is it expensive (just yesterday I was at the stores and no simple abaya was less than $60) and also being singled out as a Muslim with our attire.... lots of hardship that many of us endure for the sake of Allah, because he asked us to.
(2) So yes, looking down is difficult and I do think it is unfair for women to compare themselves and say "we both have eyes" as men are very visual, but it is also difficult to cover yet we have some seriously self righteous brothers who blame all of societal illnesses on women and what they wear. Not nice.
(1) I have observed that women have less problems with heat when it is warm and are easily freezing when it is just slightly breezing. So basically sub'han'Allah the body of women are created in such a manner that during winter they can wear clothes, while men can withstand cold better. In the summer they can withstand the heat better while men are sweating like crazy . I ALSO have discovered why it is so important to have clothes to have pockets of air between the cloth and the body. During winter it acts like air that is frozen which is extra isolation and during summer breezes can more easily come with under the clothes and cool down the body. So benefit upon benefit to have loosely fitted clothes.
(2) I agree with you on that. In the Qur'an Allah(swt) FIRST talks about men to lower their gaze. Their is even a logic in this. There are women who dress outrageously but just not even looking at those women, i have no problems at all. In another topic i believe it was @sister herb or you who said that dirty men will always be dirty. Now a days as a Muslim for me it is rather hard as it is very difficult to be outside as everywhere you look are indecent things to see. So i just try to adapt my schedule when to go outside, as there are certain time scoops that the eye of the tornado is active you could say. For example Saturday morning when the shops JUST open almost nobody is outside..they are still sleeping or just waking up. You can go quickly to the shop ..do your shopping and go back home. Evaded much trouble . Or there are primary roads and those back alley's which nobody walks..also eye of the tornado . Sleep early and wake up early during the night you can take a walk..it is so calm outside (also eye of the tornado). Or even during summers around 05:00 o'clock ..it is very nice and cool outside. Blessed moments.
When you point at something or somebody for the problems, know three fingers are pointing back at you (directed at those people who always want to blame women for the problems).
Last edited by Simple_Person; 03-21-2017 at 07:18 PM.
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Sign Up
.
jazakum allahu khair for your replies nonetheless.
Hide
Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
Bookmarks