LOST

so where do i begin?
im 21. a guy who tries not to be a sinner and maintains a character.
i been like this since forever. as long as i remember myself. i never did zinah even when i had chances. i never smoked or drinked alcohol or used any kind of drugs. I always tried to beahve. but i feel like none of this things truly sent me anywhere. i feel like Allah never gave me the things i deserve. and the things i deserve always go in the hands of "sinners"/ i always wanted to be just abit more taller. im not. at least if i was 178... im not. i wish i was better.. i wish i could just be a better man... but Allah never gives me what i deserve. thats how i feel.
i want e beautiful lady for nikkah. she probably wont like me. there was a time when i was too religious and good. but i now i have really lost hope and i dont feel like Allah answers my duas.. im just destructive and mad towards Allah. i no longer pray cause i dont even feel anything its like i have given up hope and nothing is changing my mind. i dont want to wake up in the morning .i expected life to get good but it really isnt. i feel like these worries are heavy and Allah wont help. Like Allah isnt with me at all .no matter how good i am. Allah is not rewarding towards me.
what did i do to deserve these? why the people who dont deserve get the things that i want.?
why is this happening. why i am so lost.

May Allah make it easy for you.

Don't quit prayer, thats one thing you don't do. Think positively, remove negative thoughts from your mind

i wish i wasnt even created. if i dont deserve nothing ,and if my existance doesnt mean much, than i dont want to be a part of this.
id never kill myself. thats stupid. but i wish i sleep and never wake up again

Bro-do Salaah,keep up hope & do something that you enjoy!

Stop burdening yourself!

You're only 21 so maybe marriage will happen within a few years!

There is nothing to say beauty is good or being taller,etc

If you're good mannered&all that, that what makes a person a human !

Do Salaah for sure,most of us after going so far are suffering with worst & worst ....so my advice to you is keep eyes on akhirah!

Once there, you could get all good!

This is the common advices going around by people suffering from worst & worst & you're story is not that bad,just that you're being too hasty& judgemental of your looks!

format_quote Originally Posted by aaj

As'salamu Alaikum,

I can understand where you are coming from. Your beliefs are stemming from lack of knowledge and that is why you are confused about this. Let's break it down and look at it inshallah.

We'll go with the obvious one first, you height or any other physical traits. Allah created Adam a.s. 60 cubits (90 feet) and created him in the best form and left it at that. And He says He created us into tribes and nations so that get may get to know each other. So over the centuries different races came out of Adam a.s. and that's pretty much set in stone. Regarding other physical factors, such as height, is based on other influencing factors. If you get all the proper required nutrients for your body development throughout your life then you will grow healthy, strong and tall. If you don't then you will be malnourished and have shrunken growth. On the other hand, if you have been eating processing food then although not healthy but still would effect your physical well being. For example, all those big macs and chicken nuggets with growth hormones pumped into them will influence your growth as well. And lastly, it simply comes down to genes. If your parents are grandparents or anyone in your family tree is tall then you maybe tall as well, provided you got passed down that gene. So for example, if you are not happy with your height but want your future children to be tall then you would marry someone who is tall or tall people run in her family so your kids can inherit that trait from their mother side. So you see it simply comes down internal factors (what's passed down to you from family) and external factors (healthy food, no food, processed food). Other external factor could be making dua you get taller, but this would also include tying your camel (doing your part) by eating right and exercising. Crucial time for that would be your growing period (age 10-19 mostly).

So you see it is useless trying to blame Allah for your height when you lack proper understanding of biology, genetics and external influences. Some things Allah set in motion and let them take their course, like all these genes being passed down. If you want to change that then do selective breeding; if you want light skin kids then marry a white women, if you want chinese kids then marry a chinese, if you want tall kids then marry a tall woman, if you want arab kids then marry an arab, etc. it's simple as that.

Regarding wanting reward because you didn't do zina or this or that, you have faulty logic in that as well. Have you ever tried going to the court and demanding you be rewarded because you didn't steal or kill anyone? You have to understand there is the norm and then there is things outside of the norm. The norm is you don't kill anyone and everyone is fine. If you go negative side of that norm and kill someone, then you will be punished. If you go positive side of that norm and save a life then you will be rewarded by the society. It is a simple concept. Just because you stayed away from zina, don't expect reward for that thinking you deserve it. You want a reward for that? then know that your reward is that you averted the punishment you would have gotten if you had done that sin. Rather then thinking you "deserve" something for that, you should be thinking that "may Allah reward me with something better for my obedience to my Lord and staying away from that which He dislikes". You have to change your mindset from that entitlement to am i doing enough to earn the pleasure of my Lord? No one deserves anything. We all earn what our hands bring. If you do good then you will get good, if you do bad then that is what you will get.

There are other factors that influence us, such as evil eye and black magic done on us by haters. Which is why we are told to do our adkhars and protect ourselves. Allah says the best among you are those who are most pious or have tawqa. So if you want something in life, you would make dua for it and ask Allah for it, not hate Allah because you don't have it. But in order to get there you need to have tawqa, you need to get close to Allah through sincere ibadaah. How do you expect to ask Him for something while disliking Him at the same time?

As for all the goods the kuffars have. This earth is their paradise, this is where they get reward for their deeds and get no share in the hereafter. For the believers, having such blessings or not having them, both are a test for the them. For you not having them and wanting them is a test for you. Are you going to moan about it and speak out against your Lord because of it or say Alhamdulilah for all the other blessings He has given you? Prophet :saw1: said when you look at someone better than you then also look at someone below you. How many millions in the world are missing limbs, living in poverty, are homeless, parent-less, don't have education, etc. Do you think they hate Allah by looking at people like you who is better off then them or do you think they still say Alhamdulilah for what they do have and trying to make the best of it? Allah says, "If you give thanks (or are greatful), I will give you more (of My Blessings)...." [14:7]


"Assuming the Best about Allah"
http://en.islamtoday.net/artshow-426-3251.htm

I have a question

Since years,whenever I said Alhamdull'ILLAH, The God took that blessing whether worldly or Deeni,little to big!

How can I understand this?
I'm confused!
No one knows it because I say it in my heart & I always said that when readthis Aayah

Think of every single thing that Allah has given you, write it down, every little thing.
Eyes, nose, mouth, hair, ability to taste, to feel, to hear, to see, skin, nails, 4 fingers and a thumb on each hand etc keep thinking of the things you have, then write down what you don't have and see what outweighs what

thanks for the kind words. well i am mother less too. died when i was 18.
i do understand . btw i was always a healthy eprson . i never ate mc chicken or smth like that. i always stayed away from sodas and that. me wanting to be taller was always a priority.something i never got. sometimes i feel good. sometimes i feel bad. i dont know whats wrong with me. i just wish . i was better. may Allah help my mind.

i am aware of not getting anywhere by using those things. thats why i dont use them.
all im saying is that. if these people who do those get what i would wish, why cant i have it?
hoping i will find peace

format_quote Originally Posted by aaj

As'salamu Alaikum,

I can understand where you are coming from. Your beliefs are stemming from lack of knowledge and that is why you are confused about this. Let's break it down and look at it inshallah.

We'll go with the obvious one first, you height or any other physical traits. Allah created Adam a.s. 60 cubits (90 feet) and created him in the best form and left it at that. And He says He created us into tribes and nations so that get may get to know each other. So over the centuries different races came out of Adam a.s. and that's pretty much set in stone. Regarding other physical factors, such as height, is based on other influencing factors. If you get all the proper required nutrients for your body development throughout your life then you will grow healthy, strong and tall. If you don't then you will be malnourished and have shrunken growth. On the other hand, if you have been eating processing food then although not healthy but still would effect your physical well being. For example, all those big macs and chicken nuggets with growth hormones pumped into them will influence your growth as well. And lastly, it simply comes down to genes. If your parents are grandparents or anyone in your family tree is tall then you maybe tall as well, provided you got passed down that gene. So for example, if you are not happy with your height but want your future children to be tall then you would marry someone who is tall or tall people run in her family so your kids can inherit that trait from their mother side. So you see it simply comes down internal factors (what's passed down to you from family) and external factors (healthy food, no food, processed food). Other external factor could be making dua you get taller, but this would also include tying your camel (doing your part) by eating right and exercising. Crucial time for that would be your growing period (age 10-19 mostly).

So you see it is useless trying to blame Allah for your height when you lack proper understanding of biology, genetics and external influences. Some things Allah set in motion and let them take their course, like all these genes being passed down. If you want to change that then do selective breeding; if you want light skin kids then marry a white women, if you want chinese kids then marry a chinese, if you want tall kids then marry a tall woman, if you want arab kids then marry an arab, etc. it's simple as that.

Regarding wanting reward because you didn't do zina or this or that, you have faulty logic in that as well. Have you ever tried going to the court and demanding you be rewarded because you didn't steal or kill anyone? You have to understand there is the norm and then there is things outside of the norm. The norm is you don't kill anyone and everyone is fine. If you go negative side of that norm and kill someone, then you will be punished. If you go positive side of that norm and save a life then you will be rewarded by the society. It is a simple concept. Just because you stayed away from zina, don't expect reward for that thinking you deserve it. You want a reward for that? then know that your reward is that you averted the punishment you would have gotten if you had done that sin. Rather then thinking you "deserve" something for that, you should be thinking that "may Allah reward me with something better for my obedience to my Lord and staying away from that which He dislikes". You have to change your mindset from that entitlement to am i doing enough to earn the pleasure of my Lord? No one deserves anything. We all earn what our hands bring. If you do good then you will get good, if you do bad then that is what you will get.

There are other factors that influence us, such as evil eye and black magic done on us by haters. Which is why we are told to do our adkhars and protect ourselves. Allah says the best among you are those who are most pious or have tawqa. So if you want something in life, you would make dua for it and ask Allah for it, not hate Allah because you don't have it. But in order to get there you need to have tawqa, you need to get close to Allah through sincere ibadaah. How do you expect to ask Him for something while disliking Him at the same time?

As for all the goods the kuffars have. This earth is their paradise, this is where they get reward for their deeds and get no share in the hereafter. For the believers, having such blessings or not having them, both are a test for the them. For you not having them and wanting them is a test for you. Are you going to moan about it and speak out against your Lord because of it or say Alhamdulilah for all the other blessings He has given you? Prophet :saw1: said when you look at someone better than you then also look at someone below you. How many millions in the world are missing limbs, living in poverty, are homeless, parent-less, don't have education, etc. Do you think they hate Allah by looking at people like you who is better off then them or do you think they still say Alhamdulilah for what they do have and trying to make the best of it? Allah says, "If you give thanks (or are greatful), I will give you more (of My Blessings)...." [14:7]


"Assuming the Best about Allah"
http://en.islamtoday.net/artshow-426-3251.htm

thats the biggest issue man. the girl i want probably wont like me cause im shorter than most males. 170 cm is not enough. its never going to change but what can i do really. its just something i really want

format_quote Originally Posted by aaj

As'salamu Alaikum,

I can understand where you are coming from. Your beliefs are stemming from lack of knowledge and that is why you are confused about this. Let's break it down and look at it inshallah.

We'll go with the obvious one first, you height or any other physical traits. Allah created Adam a.s. 60 cubits (90 feet) and created him in the best form and left it at that. And He says He created us into tribes and nations so that get may get to know each other. So over the centuries different races came out of Adam a.s. and that's pretty much set in stone. Regarding other physical factors, such as height, is based on other influencing factors. If you get all the proper required nutrients for your body development throughout your life then you will grow healthy, strong and tall. If you don't then you will be malnourished and have shrunken growth. On the other hand, if you have been eating processing food then although not healthy but still would effect your physical well being. For example, all those big macs and chicken nuggets with growth hormones pumped into them will influence your growth as well. And lastly, it simply comes down to genes. If your parents are grandparents or anyone in your family tree is tall then you maybe tall as well, provided you got passed down that gene. So for example, if you are not happy with your height but want your future children to be tall then you would marry someone who is tall or tall people run in her family so your kids can inherit that trait from their mother side. So you see it simply comes down internal factors (what's passed down to you from family) and external factors (healthy food, no food, processed food). Other external factor could be making dua you get taller, but this would also include tying your camel (doing your part) by eating right and exercising. Crucial time for that would be your growing period (age 10-19 mostly).

So you see it is useless trying to blame Allah for your height when you lack proper understanding of biology, genetics and external influences. Some things Allah set in motion and let them take their course, like all these genes being passed down. If you want to change that then do selective breeding; if you want light skin kids then marry a white women, if you want chinese kids then marry a chinese, if you want tall kids then marry a tall woman, if you want arab kids then marry an arab, etc. it's simple as that.

Regarding wanting reward because you didn't do zina or this or that, you have faulty logic in that as well. Have you ever tried going to the court and demanding you be rewarded because you didn't steal or kill anyone? You have to understand there is the norm and then there is things outside of the norm. The norm is you don't kill anyone and everyone is fine. If you go negative side of that norm and kill someone, then you will be punished. If you go positive side of that norm and save a life then you will be rewarded by the society. It is a simple concept. Just because you stayed away from zina, don't expect reward for that thinking you deserve it. You want a reward for that? then know that your reward is that you averted the punishment you would have gotten if you had done that sin. Rather then thinking you "deserve" something for that, you should be thinking that "may Allah reward me with something better for my obedience to my Lord and staying away from that which He dislikes". You have to change your mindset from that entitlement to am i doing enough to earn the pleasure of my Lord? No one deserves anything. We all earn what our hands bring. If you do good then you will get good, if you do bad then that is what you will get.

There are other factors that influence us, such as evil eye and black magic done on us by haters. Which is why we are told to do our adkhars and protect ourselves. Allah says the best among you are those who are most pious or have tawqa. So if you want something in life, you would make dua for it and ask Allah for it, not hate Allah because you don't have it. But in order to get there you need to have tawqa, you need to get close to Allah through sincere ibadaah. How do you expect to ask Him for something while disliking Him at the same time?

As for all the goods the kuffars have. This earth is their paradise, this is where they get reward for their deeds and get no share in the hereafter. For the believers, having such blessings or not having them, both are a test for the them. For you not having them and wanting them is a test for you. Are you going to moan about it and speak out against your Lord because of it or say Alhamdulilah for all the other blessings He has given you? Prophet :saw1: said when you look at someone better than you then also look at someone below you. How many millions in the world are missing limbs, living in poverty, are homeless, parent-less, don't have education, etc. Do you think they hate Allah by looking at people like you who is better off then them or do you think they still say Alhamdulilah for what they do have and trying to make the best of it? Allah says, "If you give thanks (or are greatful), I will give you more (of My Blessings)...." [14:7]


"Assuming the Best about Allah"
http://en.islamtoday.net/artshow-426-3251.htm

as far as i know about biology, females REALLY care about a mans height. i can be a very good character. but if she doesnt find me attractive ( im good looking but short ) thewn, the girl probably will pass me. and that breaks me. cause it happened before.
i want a good looking woman. why not get one just cause im short?
its all programed man. im suffering from it

format_quote Originally Posted by AmatulWudud

I have a question

Since years,whenever I said Alhamdull'ILLAH, The God took that blessing whether worldly or Deeni,little to big!

How can I understand this?
I'm confused!
No one knows it because I say it in my heart & I always said that when read this Aayah

Allah test those more whom He loves more.

Maybe you are grateful and so He tests you more to help you elevate your status even higher?

maybe some other factors influence it (evil eye, shaytan, lack of protection duas, etc.)?

Allahu alim.

format_quote Originally Posted by aaj

Bro, we all are tested in different ways. Sometimes Allah tests us by giving us what we want and see if we are grateful or not and sometimes He doesn't give us what we want and see if we are patient. Remember that this duniya is finite and won't last long. Whatever we don't get in this duniya, we can have it in jannah where we get to keep it forever. All belongs to Allah and see say Alhamdulilah for everything because there is khair in everything even though we may not realize it. Inshallah learn more deen and gain more knowledge and you will begin to see some of this. may Allah make it easy on you.



well you have been given what your parents passed down to you. You can accept it or your can cry about it, it won't change that but how you view it will change how you live your life. And you are assuming she "probably" won't like you. If she has a preference for height then that's her choice, if she doesn't than she won't care. You should learn to accept your height, we all wish/want something but know it's unrealistic and accept it.

please bro. tell me how to swallow this bitter pill. once and for all. tell me how to find peace..
you see. i am not a big sinner. i make mistakes but i try my best to not do the WORST. is that good? will it benefit me? are you sure?
you believe that i will find a cute young lady, cause i waited so long. and when my friends were having fun i waited?
or will it all go to waste? or its just me feeling that way?
at times i feel like i will get something good. at times i feel i wont get NOTHING.
and im afraid man. im afraid about the future. i have good intentions. i just want to find peace

format_quote Originally Posted by Islamic Soldier

as far as i know about biology, females REALLY care about a mans height. i can be a very good character. but if she doesnt find me attractive ( im good looking but short ) thewn, the girl probably will pass me. and that breaks me. cause it happened before.
i want a good looking woman. why not get one just cause im short?
its all programed man. im suffering from it

No, that is not true. Majority do prefer a man taller than them. But that is not always the case and not with everybody. Have you never seen a really really good looking girl outside with a very very unpleasant looking guy and wonder what did he do to get her or what does she see in him ? It happens. Well money is one factor, another is knowing you. If you go and propose to that girl and she cares about height then she will say no. But if you get to know her (islamically) and she sees your character/personality and has a liking to you as a person then height will become less of importance to her. You can ask any sister on this forum and in your life, men are visual gender and care more about physical attributes then women. Women want security and belonging, if they see you as a reliable and keep worthy then height will become less of a factor. They like a confident man, something you are lacking right now with your insecurity towards your height.