Marriage

**xa_xa_ft** · 07-24-2017

Hi

I am new here so not so sure if there is already a thread on this topic.

I am hoping all you wonderful people can help me.

I really want to get married but i just don't seem to be liking any of the proposals. Please dont ask me why i am not liking them i dont know myself. All i know that is when i like someone my heart will want to be with that person if that makes
sense.

i am of age 29 now and its getting abit stressful. i always pray to Allah to help me get married but its not happening.

Im not sure what to do. sometimes i have thoughts like what if it never happens??

All my friends are married now and im still single.

I am going to start to pray tahujjud please advice me what else i could do /try.

**Eric H** · 08-07-2017

Greetings and peace be with you xa_xa_ft;

I have forgiven but i can not forget and thats a big difference.

You are right, you can never forget. But what you can learn to forget is the hurt and anger this has caused you. The person who angers you controls your mind and thoughts, they could be a thousand miles away or even dead, but they have this little remote control, and they push your buttons. The only person who should be in control of the peace that should be inside your head is you.

I have been on a journey of forgiveness for the last six years. I believe I was unfairly sacked from a job I had been doing for ten years. I never had a day of sick, I did a lot of the jobs other people seemed afraid to do, caring for people with challenging behaviour.

Even to this day I think it was unfair, but I feel it is better to forgive and strive to overcome any anger I have for them. So, to help me overcome my anger, I have done about fifteen hundred hours of voluntary work for the people who sacked me.

I shall be going back again on Friday to do another five, in December I will voluntarily take a couple of the guys on holiday for a week. At minimum wages I have probably given them about £10,000 of my time. Every now and then, I come into contact with the people responsible for my sacking.

People say I am mad, I should have sued for compensation, and I agree with them. But I cannot explain the profound sense of peace that I feel, it is beyond money. I don't have the time or the energy to waste on feeling angry.

In the spirit of praying to a just and merciful God,
Eric

**xa_xa_ft** · 08-07-2017

Well sometimes you habe to do what makes you happy. So if workig for them is helping you and making you happy then good on you. As for me i forgive him completely i dont think about him everyday, weeks, months not quiet years yet. However, if karma bites him in the ass i will be happy why should i lie. If karma doesnt then thats between him and his lord not me. Will i forget - no chance.

**Umm♥Layth** · 08-08-2017

Originally Posted by xa_xa_ft

I dont have any bad feeligs in my heart for him all i hope is he realises i mean i deserve that much dont i ... surely ones love should be acknoledged i didnt have a haram relationship i just wanted to marry him and love and care for him. I dont think he will realise unless allah makes him realise

You are still holding on to a grudge. It is not easy to fully forgive a person, I understand that. Just remember that forgiving means completely letting go and you do it for yourself, not as a favor to that person.

I have been deeply hurt and not just once. Hindsight is always 20/20 and I know now that what happened was best for me, Alhamdullilah. Do things come back around? I believe so yes. Not in the way YOU think and the person may not suffer what they made you suffer and they may NEVER EVER realize how much they hurt you or that their current pain has anything to do with you or what they did to you, but rest assured that Allah is just. Either here or in the hereafter, nothing goes unnoticed by the almighty.

You have to believe it and you have to trust in the process

**soulforAllah** · 08-10-2017

Thank you for your message. I understand how deeply you are hurt. I know it is very difficult to accept rejection

May Allah ease both of our pain and grant us good husbands in shaa Allah. Once we find our husbands in shaa Allah all these sadness will go away. Let's keep praying.

Thank you for your message again! Let's be friends?

I am sorry I couldn't reply as I am not a full member yet

so I am posting here.

**Shahi** · 08-13-2017

Friend there is a problem with some people from inner and outer thoughts.
Inner is your mind and outer is from another soul. If you have a problem with inner side it is possible to make it right. If you are mentally effected with something it can be changed with your own thoughts. So, try it. If you have a dream about your future husband/wife if you are not getting c proposal from the person you dream about. You have to do is,accept the person who is mostly matched with your dream spouse.
Very important thing is you should care about their iman and habits,qualities and ahlaq when selecting. If you marry a person with healthy mind and iman is the best way to live a wonderful life.

And there is an outer problem if you reject every proposal you get. That is a jinn. If a person possessed by a jinn they will not like marriage. Secretly jinn will whishper to your mind that you dnt like the person. So you should try to marry very quickly to prevent such problems!!

**xa_xa_ft** · 08-28-2017

I dont want to take a proposal because i need to get married ... i want to spend my life with someone that i like and want to be around. In Sha Allah i will meet that person one day. When Allah wills.