Marriage

format_quote Originally Posted by xa_xa_ft

Hi

I am new here so not so sure if there is already a thread on this topic.

I am hoping all you wonderful people can help me.

I really want to get married but i just don't seem to be liking any of the proposals. Please dont ask me why i am not liking them i dont know myself. All i know that is when i like someone my heart will want to be with that person if that makes
sense.

i am of age 29 now and its getting abit stressful. i always pray to Allah to help me get married but its not happening.

Im not sure what to do. sometimes i have thoughts like what if it never happens??

All my friends are married now and im still single.

I am going to start to pray tahujjud please advice me what else i could do /try.

I think a lot of people think that before marriage but know that such thoughts are from shaythan who wants to make you lose hope. Know that Allah is the match maker. For some it may take weeks, others months and for some years until they find the person meant for them. As long as you are making the required effort, exploring the relevant avenues in looking for a partner in the right way and manner within the boundaries of Islam. Then make much Dua to Allah, particularly in the latter part of the night at Tahajjud time and patiently persevere by putting your trust and reliance in him and know that he will do what is best for you when the time is right inshAllah.

May Allah give you a good pious partner. Ameen

Who needs guys now a days anyways.

You can also "adopt" children, give orphans a home and love them.

When I mean "adopt"; I mean without changing their names of course, but taking care of children like your own children with love, if you are worried about not being able to have children in the future due to lack of husband.

I know a lot of people will shun me for saying that, but why just remain single when you can help a child out and in turn have a great companion that will care for you in your old age as well

Assalaamu alaikum XaXa, my dear,

(gently) I wonder whether the reason you can't quite find it in your heart to accept a proposal, is because your heart is still taken with the young man you have mentioned?

May God, the Opener, Make the way clearer for you.

Assalaamu alaikum, my dear,

(gently) Whether you desire a person, or whether you are angry with that person... your heart is still taken with him. (gently) I do not know what he did to you (and it might be very terrible), but it seems to me that unless you can let go of him, you will be stuck.

May God Bless you with His healing Mercy.

Greetings and peace be with you xa_xa_ft;

Its not easy to forgive someone whom broke your heart. I hope that the pain i went through this man realises

Just a thought, I wonder how those men are feeling that you turned down? Are their hearts broken?

Sometimes it is easier to forgive someone, in the hope that we also can be forgiven.

In the spirit of praying to a just and merciful God.

Eric

Greetings and peace be with you xa_xa_ft;

I didnt lead them on and then dump them 3 months before my marriage ! There is a big difference in rejecting and breaking a heart.

I understand there are differences, but from a man's perception, it takes a lot of courage to propose, and involve families in the decision. I have read stories here from men who have been turned down, they can seem like emotional wrecks after.

My reply was not intended to compare who suffers the most, but rather as a means of trying to find ways to forgive your ex from the heart. He is probably oblivious of the pain he has caused you, he probably had no intentions of hurting you, but like you, he could just have had second thoughts, without knowing why.

I don't want to make excuses for him, but am saying this in the hope you might be able to forgive him totally and move on.

soulforAllah summed it up well when she said - But the secret of getting solace is forgiveness. Once you forgive your heart will be relieved from the burden in shaa Allah.

In the spirit of praying to a just and merciful God,
Eric