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    Artic090's Avatar
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    All about me: depression, love, virginity, loneliness, muslim women, dreams....

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    Dear sisters and brothers,
    some of you "know" me and my situation. But i decided to write you all my story, starting from the beginning.

    I hope you have got 10 minutes of your lifes to dedicate me.


    I've always been an atypical guy compared to Western kids: no drinking, no smoking, no disco, no sex.
    During my adolescence I lost all my friends because they loved doing transgressive things, while I was very serious and responsible. Here in Italy if you do not follow the mass they label you as a loser, problematic.

    But since I was a young boy I had just a little dream in my heart: to find a good girl, get married and have my happy family. But this is not possible in the Western and Catholic world. In 28 years I have never found the right girl, and when I try to expose my ideals people have always humiliated me... especially Catholic people (women). They say that i need psycologist, that in this world i wont find my right girl because my girl exists only in my head, ad so on.
    So I decided to get away from the Catholic community and from God... because God had decided to leave me alone with those people so disreputable. I asked Him such things like "What is wrong on me? Why i cant be happy? Why girl are so corrupted with sex, smoke and alcool? Why nobody believe in my same ideals? Why did you give me birth if there isnt space for me in this world?".
    I tell you honestly: if I could give my life to a sick child who is going to die, I would do it willingly. At least i give a smile to a child that surely will be a winner, will realize his dream. I would find peace by dying.

    But this summer, while I was working as a volunteer at the hospital, I noticed a Muslim Pakistani girl (she was an interpreter fror pakistani people who live here and cant talk good italian language) who struck me a lot. I had never seen such a beautiful girl, a beauty that I could not even describe. I saw what in Islam is called "Haya" (i dont know if she really was a "haya-girl",but this is the impression I had).
    Although I didnt know her (we never talked) I secretly fell madly in love with her. Suddendly i didnt see her at work? Where was she go? Simply: I come to find out that she is already married and that she is two months pregnant, so she stopped working. Death came in my heart.
    When I think of her I feel like crying, both because I had the illusion of having a future with her, and because it is the umpteenth demonstration that I can never be happy.

    But i still remember the first day i saw her: when i came back home, i started to read information on Pakistan and Islam. A new world has opened up! Finally Islam described the world I have always dreamed of: justice, freedom, hope. And Muslim women were described as I always wanted: no promiscuity, no smoke, no alcohol. Perfect wifes and mothers. I started to dream women as our Maryem or Aisha.

    I came back to have more hope and I made peace with God thanking him for introducing me to that Pakistani girl, because thanks to that event I could understand what would be my right path.

    I started studying Urdu and The Koran alone, I decided to become a better boy than now.
    I have read that many Pakistani fathers do not accept that their daughter get marry an Italian, and this has been an extra stimulus to study everything about Islam, hoping to show that even if I am not a Pakistani by birth, I can be the right boy for their daughters thanks to my sacrifices and my values. Do you remember when that young boy wanted to marry a girl entrusted to the prophet Mohammed? He was poor and unknown ... but the Prophet put him to the test by asking him to recite the Qur'an. In this way He understood that that boy was really the perfect husband for that woman.
    And I would like the same to happen to me: I want to show that I am a good boy in every respect, I want every girl's father to be proud of me also through the knowledge of the Islamic religion.

    But something of not nice happened in October...

    While i was trying to improve my urdu, in a chat-room i knew a girl from Karachi.... I asked her about Pakistani traditions and so on....and talking about some topics she told me that the kind of purity I'm looking for does not exist in the world of Islam, that girls have engaged before marriage (she had a boyfriend and physical relationships when she was only 16), that many girls lie about their past and other things so. These words shocked me!

    So, i started to take other info...and a lot of people told me: "Oh no! Dont do that! You will not find your ideal girl in Islam because in this world all girls had other men, muslims girls are the same as catholic, it's impossible for you to find a pious and virtuous girl at 28 years old...."

    Dear sisters and brothers: I am ready to embrace Islam, I can not wait to really meet a good Pakistani Muslim girl and plan a future with her, but i dont know how, where to start and especially if Islam can save me.
    6 | Likes Reminder, fschmidt, Shamnadanu, SHO, Umme salma, ChosenTCO liked this post

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    eesa the kiwi's Avatar
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    Re: All about me: depression, love, virginity, loneliness, muslim women, dreams....

    To embrace islam all one has to do is say the testification of faith which is as

    Ash hadu anla ilaha illalahu wa ash hadu anna muhamadan abduhu wa rasuluh
    (I bear witness that none has the right to be worshipped except Allah and i bear witness Muhammad is his servant and messenger.

    You say this you enter Islam and become our brother in faith. I suggest you do it without delay as you don't know when the angel of death will come



    As for finding a pious chaste wife there are plenty of sisters like that out there Alhamdulilah. Be patient and ask Allah to provide for you
    All about me: depression, love, virginity, loneliness, muslim women, dreams....

    "Go easy on yourself, for the outcome of all affairs is determined by God's decree. If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will never come your way, but if it is your by destiny, from you it cannot flee."

    Umar Ibn Al-Khattab (RA)

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    Re: All about me: depression, love, virginity, loneliness, muslim women, dreams....

    You need to want to embrace Islam for the sake of Allah and not to find your "perfect wife". From your previous posts, you have an unhealthy obsession with this Pakistani girl and the pursuit of pure virgins girls. Focus on the Truth of Islam and embrace it with the right intentions for the benefit of your soul.
    1 | Likes Umme salma liked this post
    All about me: depression, love, virginity, loneliness, muslim women, dreams....

    "When a person sees the road as too long, he weakens in his walk." - Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah

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    Artic090's Avatar
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    Re: All about me: depression, love, virginity, loneliness, muslim women, dreams....

    I want to know if Islam can give me the salvation and happiness I seek, and this my realization also involves finding my ideal girl. And I do not understand why the search for a virgin girl must be unhealthy. I do not want a girl who has been touched by other men: for someone virginity is not important, but for me it is. Why do you have to judge my choices?
    1 | Likes fschmidt liked this post

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    Re: All about me: depression, love, virginity, loneliness, muslim women, dreams....

    Quote Originally Posted by Artic090 View Post
    I want to know if Islam can give me the salvation and happiness I seek, and this my realization also involves finding my ideal girl. And I do not understand why the search for a virgin girl must be unhealthy. I do not want a girl who has been touched by other men: for someone virginity is not important, but for me it is. Why do you have to judge my choices?
    I think it's very respectable that you have remained chaste all of your life and have refrained from the impermissible worldly things. I wish more brothers were like this. You'd fit perfectly in Islam and I do believe it will make you feel the happiness you seek. You will not be able to marry any Muslim girl unless you are a faithful Muslim man. You have a right to want and seek a chaste woman if you are chaste yourself. I don't see a problem with it. What seems problematic is how strong your emotions are regarding marriage in general, and how easily manipulated they become by the people around you. You need to be stronger than this.
    4 | Likes fschmidt, Al Khorasani, Eric H, Umme salma liked this post
    All about me: depression, love, virginity, loneliness, muslim women, dreams....

    D e a t h

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    the hardest
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    Artic090's Avatar
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    Re: All about me: depression, love, virginity, loneliness, muslim women, dreams....

    Charisma, i really liked your post.

    Islam has opened to me a world that I have always desired, unfortunately I cant find confirmation.
    The more I talk to Muslim girls and boys, the more I understand that virginity and chastity are lost.

    I'm learning Urdu, right? So, I found a forum where I can interact with Pakistani boys and girls to know better religion, culture, language, ect. Practically everyone has had relationships, and when I point out that the Islamic religion does not teach this, they respond "we can all go wrong, nobody is perfect, it can happen to everyone to have phisical relationships". I also notice an aura of silence, as if they knew that they were wrong.

    I can not understand why people talk about mistakes. Having a relationship is a deliberate choice, it is not an accident that can happen.
    Ok, I agree that nobody is perfect, and any muslim in this world is perfect.

    But think over: for to have a physical relationship you have to break three very important islamic rules:

    - Giving confidence to the opposite sex so that something is created that goes beyond mere friendship (First step haram)
    - Turning this friendship into a loving relationship (Second step Haram)
    - Getting to have sex (Third thing haram)

    This is not an accidental sin done without evil intentions (I repeat, it can happen every day to do something wrong and repent a few moments later), but to have sex is a premeditated sin.

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    Al Khorasani's Avatar
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    Re: All about me: depression, love, virginity, loneliness, muslim women, dreams....

    Quote Originally Posted by Artic090 View Post
    Dear sisters and brothers,
    some of you "know" me and my situation. But i decided to write you all my story, starting from the beginning.

    I hope you have got 10 minutes of your lifes to dedicate me.


    I've always been an atypical guy compared to Western kids: no drinking, no smoking, no disco, no sex.
    During my adolescence I lost all my friends because they loved doing transgressive things, while I was very serious and responsible. Here in Italy if you do not follow the mass they label you as a loser, problematic.

    But since I was a young boy I had just a little dream in my heart: to find a good girl, get married and have my happy family. But this is not possible in the Western and Catholic world. In 28 years I have never found the right girl, and when I try to expose my ideals people have always humiliated me... especially Catholic people (women). They say that i need psycologist, that in this world i wont find my right girl because my girl exists only in my head, ad so on.
    So I decided to get away from the Catholic community and from God... because God had decided to leave me alone with those people so disreputable. I asked Him such things like "What is wrong on me? Why i cant be happy? Why girl are so corrupted with sex, smoke and alcool? Why nobody believe in my same ideals? Why did you give me birth if there isnt space for me in this world?".
    I tell you honestly: if I could give my life to a sick child who is going to die, I would do it willingly. At least i give a smile to a child that surely will be a winner, will realize his dream. I would find peace by dying.

    But this summer, while I was working as a volunteer at the hospital, I noticed a Muslim Pakistani girl (she was an interpreter fror pakistani people who live here and cant talk good italian language) who struck me a lot. I had never seen such a beautiful girl, a beauty that I could not even describe. I saw what in Islam is called "Haya" (i dont know if she really was a "haya-girl",but this is the impression I had).
    Although I didnt know her (we never talked) I secretly fell madly in love with her. Suddendly i didnt see her at work? Where was she go? Simply: I come to find out that she is already married and that she is two months pregnant, so she stopped working. Death came in my heart.
    When I think of her I feel like crying, both because I had the illusion of having a future with her, and because it is the umpteenth demonstration that I can never be happy.

    But i still remember the first day i saw her: when i came back home, i started to read information on Pakistan and Islam. A new world has opened up! Finally Islam described the world I have always dreamed of: justice, freedom, hope. And Muslim women were described as I always wanted: no promiscuity, no smoke, no alcohol. Perfect wifes and mothers. I started to dream women as our Maryem or Aisha.

    I came back to have more hope and I made peace with God thanking him for introducing me to that Pakistani girl, because thanks to that event I could understand what would be my right path.

    I started studying Urdu and The Koran alone, I decided to become a better boy than now.
    I have read that many Pakistani fathers do not accept that their daughter get marry an Italian, and this has been an extra stimulus to study everything about Islam, hoping to show that even if I am not a Pakistani by birth, I can be the right boy for their daughters thanks to my sacrifices and my values. Do you remember when that young boy wanted to marry a girl entrusted to the prophet Mohammed? He was poor and unknown ... but the Prophet put him to the test by asking him to recite the Qur'an. In this way He understood that that boy was really the perfect husband for that woman.
    And I would like the same to happen to me: I want to show that I am a good boy in every respect, I want every girl's father to be proud of me also through the knowledge of the Islamic religion.

    But something of not nice happened in October...

    While i was trying to improve my urdu, in a chat-room i knew a girl from Karachi.... I asked her about Pakistani traditions and so on....and talking about some topics she told me that the kind of purity I'm looking for does not exist in the world of Islam, that girls have engaged before marriage (she had a boyfriend and physical relationships when she was only 16), that many girls lie about their past and other things so. These words shocked me!

    So, i started to take other info...and a lot of people told me: "Oh no! Dont do that! You will not find your ideal girl in Islam because in this world all girls had other men, muslims girls are the same as catholic, it's impossible for you to find a pious and virtuous girl at 28 years old...."

    Dear sisters and brothers: I am ready to embrace Islam, I can not wait to really meet a good Pakistani Muslim girl and plan a future with her, but i dont know how, where to start and especially if Islam can save me.
    I'm not going to lie, you sound absolutely mental.

    Stop this fixation with Pakistani girls just because you fell madly in love with one previously. Your future spouse could come from any background, so don't keep your search fixed on Pakistanis alone.

    As for virgins, many people will lie about their past but even if someone is not a virgin, it should not matter to you so long as they were either married at the time or have repented for their transgression.

    When it comes to Islam, it's great that you want to embrace the religion, and you can do so very easily by saying the Shahadah (google what that is later), after that we can get into other minor things you will have to change. However, I would strongly recommend you find objective, rational reasons to believe in Islam rather than purely emotional arguments. Emotions come and go and are not objective, where as rational arguments are objective and do not change.

    Also, no practising Muslim will marry you unless you convert to Islam first.
    3 | Likes Misbah-Abd, cinnamonrolls1, SHO liked this post

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    Misbah-Abd's Avatar
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    Re: All about me: depression, love, virginity, loneliness, muslim women, dreams....

    Quote Originally Posted by Ibn Shahid View Post
    I'm not going to lie, you sound absolutely mental.

    Stop this fixation with Pakistani girls just because you fell madly in love with one previously. Your future spouse could come from any background, so don't keep your search fixed on Pakistanis alone.

    As for virgins, many people will lie about their past but even if someone is not a virgin, it should not matter to you so long as they were either married at the time or have repented for their transgression.

    When it comes to Islam, it's great that you want to embrace the religion, and you can do so very easily by saying the Shahadah (google what that is later), after that we can get into other minor things you will have to change. However, I would strongly recommend you find objective, rational reasons to believe in Islam rather than purely emotional arguments. Emotions come and go and are not objective, where as rational arguments are objective and do not change.

    Also, no practising Muslim will marry you unless you convert to Islam first.
    This is where his sincerity is compromised. He is more fixated on finding a pure virgin girl than seeking the truth of Islam. If he could find what he was looking for in his religion, he wouldn't be here flirting with the idea of embracing Islam to get what he desires.
    3 | Likes Al Khorasani, czgibson, IslamLife00 liked this post
    All about me: depression, love, virginity, loneliness, muslim women, dreams....

    "When a person sees the road as too long, he weakens in his walk." - Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah

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    Al Khorasani's Avatar
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    Re: All about me: depression, love, virginity, loneliness, muslim women, dreams....

    Quote Originally Posted by Artic090 View Post
    I want to know if Islam can give me the salvation and happiness I seek, and this my realization also involves finding my ideal girl. And I do not understand why the search for a virgin girl must be unhealthy. I do not want a girl who has been touched by other men: for someone virginity is not important, but for me it is. Why do you have to judge my choices?
    It's fine if this is your preference, but don't obsess over it.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Artic090 View Post
    I want to know if Islam can give me the salvation and happiness I seek, and this my realization also involves finding my ideal girl. And I do not understand why the search for a virgin girl must be unhealthy. I do not want a girl who has been touched by other men: for someone virginity is not important, but for me it is. Why do you have to judge my choices?
    It's fine if this is your preference, but don't obsess over it.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Misbah-Abd View Post
    This is where his sincerity is compromised. He is more fixated on finding a pure virgin girl than seeking the truth of Islam. If he could find what he was looking for in his religion, he wouldn't be here flirting with the idea of embracing Islam to get what he desires.
    Asalamu Alaikum

    Right, but no other religion really offers what he is after so it does at least somewhat make sense.

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    Re: All about me: depression, love, virginity, loneliness, muslim women, dreams....

    Quote Originally Posted by Ibn Shahid View Post
    As for virgins, many people will lie about their past but even if someone is not a virgin, it should not matter to you so long as they were either married at the time or have repented for their transgression.
    I don't understand how you can say this given what Quran 24:3 says. If you steal and repent and return what you stole, then the repentance is complete. But if you murder, you cannot return what you have taken, so the repentance can never be complete because you cannot return the life to the dead. Promiscuity is more like murder than like theft in this regard because it cannot be undone. Of course the promiscuous person should repent, but they should also be willing to live with the consequences of their action which includes the loss of the right to expect to marry a chaste partner.
    4 | Likes Reminder, Artic090, SHO, Eric H liked this post
    All about me: depression, love, virginity, loneliness, muslim women, dreams....


  14. #11
    Al Khorasani's Avatar
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    Re: All about me: depression, love, virginity, loneliness, muslim women, dreams....

    Quote Originally Posted by fschmidt View Post
    I don't understand how you can say this given what Quran 24:3 says. If you steal and repent and return what you stole, then the repentance is complete. But if you murder, you cannot return what you have taken, so the repentance can never be complete because you cannot return the life to the dead. Promiscuity is more like murder than like theft in this regard because it cannot be undone. Of course the promiscuous person should repent, but they should also be willing to live with the consequences of their action which includes the loss of the right to expect to marry a chaste partner.
    No, that's not how this works. Everyone has the right to repent, and will be forgiven completely provided their repentance is sincere. That's the essence of mercy, and is one of the many reasons why Allah (Azza Wa Jala) is called the most merciful. Whether or not the punishment is still carried out is irrelevant to whether or not their repentance is accepted.

    You should be fine with marrying a non-virgin provided they have repented and are of exemplary character. In Islam, you marry someone based on their current character, not their previous one.

    Also, killing an innocent person is not the same as committing zina. Please do not take the Islamic rulings for murder and apply them to zina.
    Last edited by Al Khorasani; 03-04-2018 at 11:39 PM.
    3 | Likes Misbah-Abd, cinnamonrolls1, Umme salma liked this post

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    Re: All about me: depression, love, virginity, loneliness, muslim women, dreams....

    There is nothing like Islam, not areligion, not way of life, not “divine revelation” - there isabsolutely nothing even remotely close to Islam. Because there is noGod except Allah and Islam comes from Him. Alhamdulillahrabbil-'alamin


    You think a virgin muslimah (Pakistanior not) will be a dream come true. But Allah knows what will fulfillyou, make you content. It's up to you whether you want to find avirgin muslimah first before accepting Islam, or you accept Islamfirst and let Allah bestows upon you what He knows is best for you.

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    Re: All about me: depression, love, virginity, loneliness, muslim women, dreams....

    @Artic090:

    Give preference to Islam instead of virgin girl.

    InshaAllah, you will get your life partner of your choice (virgin).

    “Women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity” — Surah an Nur Ayah 26
    1 | Likes Eric H liked this post

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    Re: All about me: depression, love, virginity, loneliness, muslim women, dreams....

    Quote Originally Posted by Artic090 View Post
    Dear sisters and brothers,
    some of you "know" me and my situation. But i decided to write you all my story, starting from the beginning.

    I hope you have got 10 minutes of your lifes to dedicate me.


    I've always been an atypical guy compared to Western kids: no drinking, no smoking, no disco, no sex.
    During my adolescence I lost all my friends because they loved doing transgressive things, while I was very serious and responsible. Here in Italy if you do not follow the mass they label you as a loser, problematic.

    But since I was a young boy I had just a little dream in my heart: to find a good girl, get married and have my happy family. But this is not possible in the Western and Catholic world. In 28 years I have never found the right girl, and when I try to expose my ideals people have always humiliated me... especially Catholic people (women). They say that i need psycologist, that in this world i wont find my right girl because my girl exists only in my head, ad so on.
    So I decided to get away from the Catholic community and from God... because God had decided to leave me alone with those people so disreputable. I asked Him such things like "What is wrong on me? Why i cant be happy? Why girl are so corrupted with sex, smoke and alcool? Why nobody believe in my same ideals? Why did you give me birth if there isnt space for me in this world?".
    I tell you honestly: if I could give my life to a sick child who is going to die, I would do it willingly. At least i give a smile to a child that surely will be a winner, will realize his dream. I would find peace by dying.

    But this summer, while I was working as a volunteer at the hospital, I noticed a Muslim Pakistani girl (she was an interpreter fror pakistani people who live here and cant talk good italian language) who struck me a lot. I had never seen such a beautiful girl, a beauty that I could not even describe. I saw what in Islam is called "Haya" (i dont know if she really was a "haya-girl",but this is the impression I had).
    Although I didnt know her (we never talked) I secretly fell madly in love with her. Suddendly i didnt see her at work? Where was she go? Simply: I come to find out that she is already married and that she is two months pregnant, so she stopped working. Death came in my heart.
    When I think of her I feel like crying, both because I had the illusion of having a future with her, and because it is the umpteenth demonstration that I can never be happy.

    But i still remember the first day i saw her: when i came back home, i started to read information on Pakistan and Islam. A new world has opened up! Finally Islam described the world I have always dreamed of: justice, freedom, hope. And Muslim women were described as I always wanted: no promiscuity, no smoke, no alcohol. Perfect wifes and mothers. I started to dream women as our Maryem or Aisha.

    I came back to have more hope and I made peace with God thanking him for introducing me to that Pakistani girl, because thanks to that event I could understand what would be my right path.

    I started studying Urdu and The Koran alone, I decided to become a better boy than now.
    I have read that many Pakistani fathers do not accept that their daughter get marry an Italian, and this has been an extra stimulus to study everything about Islam, hoping to show that even if I am not a Pakistani by birth, I can be the right boy for their daughters thanks to my sacrifices and my values. Do you remember when that young boy wanted to marry a girl entrusted to the prophet Mohammed? He was poor and unknown ... but the Prophet put him to the test by asking him to recite the Qur'an. In this way He understood that that boy was really the perfect husband for that woman.
    And I would like the same to happen to me: I want to show that I am a good boy in every respect, I want every girl's father to be proud of me also through the knowledge of the Islamic religion.

    But something of not nice happened in October...

    While i was trying to improve my urdu, in a chat-room i knew a girl from Karachi.... I asked her about Pakistani traditions and so on....and talking about some topics she told me that the kind of purity I'm looking for does not exist in the world of Islam, that girls have engaged before marriage (she had a boyfriend and physical relationships when she was only 16), that many girls lie about their past and other things so. These words shocked me!

    So, i started to take other info...and a lot of people told me: "Oh no! Dont do that! You will not find your ideal girl in Islam because in this world all girls had other men, muslims girls are the same as catholic, it's impossible for you to find a pious and virtuous girl at 28 years old...."

    Dear sisters and brothers: I am ready to embrace Islam, I can not wait to really meet a good Pakistani Muslim girl and plan a future with her, but i dont know how, where to start and especially if Islam can save me.
    Brother.
    You are exactly similar to me.btw i am muslim.
    But she who chat with you may live without dheen.
    But there are millions of better women who are strong in eeman.
    its like in a manufacturing factory there are defective ones and good ones.
    similarly there are better people in every place.
    they will be guided by Allah swt .
    2 | Likes Artic090, SHO liked this post

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    Re: All about me: depression, love, virginity, loneliness, muslim women, dreams....

    Quote Originally Posted by Ibn Shahid View Post
    No, that's not how this works. Everyone has the right to repent, and will be forgiven completely provided their repentance is sincere. That's the essence of mercy, and is one of the many reasons why Allah (Azza Wa Jala) is called the most merciful. Whether or not the punishment is still carried out is irrelevant to whether or not their repentance is accepted.

    You should be fine with marrying a non-virgin provided they have repented and are of exemplary character. In Islam, you marry someone based on their current character, not their previous one.

    Also, killing an innocent person is not the same as committing zina. Please do not take the Islamic rulings for murder and apply them to zina.
    @fschmidt is right. There are "minor" and "major" sins. Zina, like murder, is a major sin - one that can't be undone. Minor theft is resolved by simply returning stolen stuff or paying for it.

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    Re: All about me: depression, love, virginity, loneliness, muslim women, dreams....

    Quote Originally Posted by Ibn Shahid View Post
    I'm not going to lie, you sound absolutely mental.

    Stop this fixation with Pakistani girls just because you fell madly in love with one previously. Your future spouse could come from any background, so don't keep your search fixed on Pakistanis alone.

    As for virgins, many people will lie about their past but even if someone is not a virgin, it should not matter to you so long as they were either married at the time or have repented for their transgression.

    When it comes to Islam, it's great that you want to embrace the religion, and you can do so very easily by saying the Shahadah (google what that is later), after that we can get into other minor things you will have to change. However, I would strongly recommend you find objective, rational reasons to believe in Islam rather than purely emotional arguments. Emotions come and go and are not objective, where as rational arguments are objective and do not change.

    Also, no practising Muslim will marry you unless you convert to Islam first.
    100% correct
    1 | Likes Al Khorasani liked this post

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    Re: All about me: depression, love, virginity, loneliness, muslim women, dreams....

    You seem to care more about marrying a virgin than something else. So what if shes not? Maybe she sinned and repented,maybe she was previously married idk. Its not a healthy mindset and if your one defining characteristic is a pakistani virgin then you wont get very far my friend. Like @Ibn Shahid said its fine to have a preference but really tge most important thing in a spouse is if theyre practising etc.

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    Re: All about me: depression, love, virginity, loneliness, muslim women, dreams....

    Quote Originally Posted by fschmidt View Post
    I don't understand how you can say this given what Quran 24:3 says. If you steal and repent and return what you stole, then the repentance is complete. But if you murder, you cannot return what you have taken, so the repentance can never be complete because you cannot return the life to the dead. Promiscuity is more like murder than like theft in this regard because it cannot be undone. Of course the promiscuous person should repent, but they should also be willing to live with the consequences of their action which includes the loss of the right to expect to marry a chaste partner.
    If God can forgive why cant we? Il link up a really good post by a former imam explaining that aya. You dont have to agree but i found it interesting.
    2 | Likes Al Khorasani, Umme salma liked this post

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    Re: All about me: depression, love, virginity, loneliness, muslim women, dreams....

    Quote Originally Posted by Ibn Shahid View Post
    As for virgins, many people will lie about their past but even if someone is not a virgin, it should not matter to you so long as they were either married at the time or have repented for their transgression.
    I am seeking purity, that purity that I cant find in my religion. This is why I want a girl who knows how to enhance purity....because it will have to be an example to my children too. I cant imagine to stay with a girl who has had other men, I just cant accept it on a religious, moral and psychological level. It's stronger than me.
    And I'm not talking about widows or divorces, but single girls never married.
    To base the marriage on a lie? Lying on being virgins? With what courage, in front of God, are you going to tell me this lie? Marriage is a serious matter, based on loyalty, respect, sincerity. It isnt a business where the most clever (and unfair) investors win!

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    Re: All about me: depression, love, virginity, loneliness, muslim women, dreams....

    Quote Originally Posted by cinnamonrolls1 View Post
    You seem to care more about marrying a virgin than something else. So what if shes not? Maybe she sinned and repented,maybe she was previously married idk. Its not a healthy mindset and if your one defining characteristic is a pakistani virgin then you wont get very far my friend. Like @Ibn Shahid said its fine to have a preference but really tge most important thing in a spouse is if theyre practising etc.
    For me virginity is very important, because I'M VIRGIN, and im looking for a such girl who believes in my same ideals. I want to base the relationship on the purity of both...i dont know why its wrong...
    I dont think you would marry anyone, right? You too will have preferences and criteria that you cant overlook, maybe it will not be about purity virginity, but surely you will have a pillar on which to base your relationship.
    If my choice is "not a healthy mindset" maybe I was wrong to approach Islam...I thought that some speeches belonged only to Catholic people (to "defend" their sins and get out of it saying that "God forgives everyone, so you too must do it!"). But guys, i'm not God! Unfortunately I have my limits, my weaknesses, my way of thinking.

    There are so many Muslim religious girls who for example wont accept a short boy, or a poor boy, or a boy without a good job. But no-one is going to tell them "Oh, shame! You should accept the same because God would accept them!".

    Why when we speak of virginity as a criterion must there be these lessons of morality? When instead there are even more senseless criteria? Yet there are criteria of choice even more unjust and senseless

    I'm sorry, but I'm very disappointed. I left the Catholic community because of the inconsistency and hypocrisy around them, I thought the Islamic community was my new home.

    I was wrong.

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