New me

format_quote Originally Posted by emem.masorong

I feel so alive and wonderful since I came back to Islam. Allah opened my heart once again. I hope this time it will last forever. I want to complete the 5 pillars of Islam. I feel so blessed to be guided. I already quit all my vices. I am limp. Reading helped me quit, as well as in my faith to Allah. I quit because I want to be rich, I pity the people here who can smell the smoke(I'm only in bed due to being limp and have incontinence or that which I cannot control my urine and bowelling). It was an accident that I became limp. I hope I will walk again normally. Inshaallah. I have changed my ways. I do not want to drink coffee anymore, eat so much sweets like chocolate. Just being fit and healthy. I exercise regularly on bed. I watched Youtube videos on how to. I now pray 5 times everyday, and I sometimes pray at midnight. I love it so much. I love my iman. I love Allah. I am at peace. Things that I planned to do before that were so long in my mind, I am changing depending on Allah's orders and will. If it is bad, I am changing it to good, like the title of my book, and I am removing the profanity I already wrote. I am re-writing it. I increase my iman everyday by learning something new on Islam. I read the Quran everyday. I am at peace. Do you know that I have these ghosts telling everybody what's inside my mind? If ever you hear it and get disturbed, as I sometimes think it is heard all over the world, then I'm sorry. Astagfirullah also. Alhamdullilah. I now see them as blessing in disguise. Before, I would like to die always. But now I see that also helped. Those people who think of death mostly, and hope for Jannah, are wise. This has helped me see things clearly. I am more honest as they would say the truth anyways everytime. They non-stop talk. Mostly, a girl I named Sophia, and the others are Ana, Fae, Katya, Bong, Jeff, Arnel. Sophia is the most talkative. I wonder if she is quiet before. I wonder where they came from. Allah knows best right? He does what he wills. It was never said in the Quran that this thing will happen, but it did. Faces everywhere and these ghosts I'm talking about. This trial has increased my iman. I am punished maybe for my sins, but they are really a blessing in disguise. I speak the truth, I am punished so I want to do more good. Maybe I'm not really punished. I now think it so fun. Like a challenge or something. Something that will make me think better. Use my mind. I feel blessed either way. Allahuakbar! I surrender to Allah. I avoid evil now, but sometimes, there are sins that are enevitable, but I repent and try not to do it again, but if it continues, I say astagfirullah and I just do more good. God bless us all. I am learning one Arabic word a day too. Alhamdullilah.

May Allah swt keep you steadfast on deen. Ameen