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Mehram

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    Hira imran's Avatar Limited Member
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    Mehram

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    As'salam o alikum dear fellows...i wanna ask a question that is my father in law (my husband's father) MEHRAM for me...my husband lives in Saudi due to his job and i am not getting visa due to some issues currently i am living with my in-laws including parents of my husband his two younger brothers and a sister. My husband wants me to live with his family rather then mine and i wanna live with my mother untill the visa issue is resolved.
    Is there any guidance related to this issue.
    1. Is my father in law mehram for me
    2. Can i disobey my husband regarding living with his parents.
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    ChosenTCO's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Mehram

    format_quote Originally Posted by Hira imran View Post
    As'salam o alikum dear fellows...i wanna ask a question that is my father in law (my husband's father) MEHRAM for me...my husband lives in Saudi due to his job and i am not getting visa due to some issues currently i am living with my in-laws including parents of my husband his two younger brothers and a sister. My husband wants me to live with his family rather then mine and i wanna live with my mother untill the visa issue is resolved.
    Is there any guidance related to this issue.
    1. Is my father in law mehram for me
    2. Can i disobey my husband regarding living with his parents.
    This is just a basic answer for the 2 specific questions you asked at the end of your post. Im not going to address the general status of your situation or what you should do as there is not enough information about them to give a good and effective solutions. So ... as to your questions:

    1-With regards to your father in law, he is actually considered a mahram. So are the sons of your husband even if they are from a different mother. However the brothers of the husband (AKA your brothers in law) are considered non-mahrams. So its impermissible for you to live with them.

    the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade non-mahrams (unrelated men) to enter upon women. He said: "Beware of entering upon women." One of the Sahaabah said to him, "O Messenger of Allaah, what about the brother-in-law?" He said: "The brother-in-law is death!" (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath al-Baari, 9/330).

    2-With regards to disobeying your husband, i would highly discourage this but i am unsure whether islamically you would be within your right to disobey him or not. Seeing that your in a situation that the sharia is strongly against, i would assume that there wouldnt be any blame on you if you fear there might be fitna or temptation between you and your brothers in law. Even if there isnt, your still considered in a [islamically] bad environment.

    For this i would highly recommend you discuss this with your husband and share with him your legitimate concerns, even if its just a matter of preference, and then come to a mutual agreement. Settle on it even if its against what you wanted (so long as it does not conflict with the sharia) only for the temporary time agreed upon. This is the best solution that i believe you can have. Remember, to maintain a strong functioning relationship between 2 loving spouses you always have to compromise (each should compromise the same amount).

    Hope this helps sister.
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    Re: Mehram

    Thank you so much for guiding me in such suitable words.
    I tried to negotiate this issue with may husband he is not getting convinced.. He just said u have to go its my order,do what ever my parents say (but I am not willing to go as I have faced many problems living there from last few month which were not solved by my husband as it is his responsibility to comfort me if I am living without him with his parents just for his satisfaction and happiness. I lived there in a very tensed environment).
    Do my mother have a right to keep me with her until my husband came or until he takes me with him. What does Islam guides me for that.
    My in-laws are insisting my husband to convince me to live with them as it is a tradition.
    I would be thankful to you for this if being a neutral person you guide me the right way.
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