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    CuriousonTruth's Avatar
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    Do Muslim women want to marry Non-muslim Men

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    Salam, I'm a new member. Actually I came by because I saw [a reddit thread-removed]

    Here hundreds of muslim women say they are dating/marrying non-muslim men.

    Personally, I don't know muslim women a lot but is this how a lot of muslim women think and want? Please no censorship, I just want to know the truth, that's it.
    Last edited by *charisma*; 01-31-2019 at 09:25 PM. Reason: islamically misleading content

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    Re: Do Muslim women want to marry Non-muslim Men

    Walaikum Assalaam,

    Absolutely not.

    The content of what you posted was removed because most of the women there are not even religious. Allah abiding women will not even look at a kaafir for marriage. There are decent nonMuslims out there, but at the end of the day they are still not Muslim and marriages to them will be invalid to begin with. Anyways we should be lowering our gazes, so for some women to shamelessly claim that they date these men or even leave their families for them is ridiculous and very saddening. It shows that their priorities are their desires, not to please Allah.
    | Likes Insaanah, SintoDinto, Search, Dont.know, Eric H liked this post
    Do Muslim women want to marry Non-muslim Men

    D e a t h

    is the easiest
    of all things after it
    ; ;

    the hardest
    of all things before it

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    Re: Do Muslim women want to marry Non-muslim Men

    No. Never. Why would i want to disappoint Allah (SWT).

    The women you are talking about are far away from practising their religion Islam. And what they are doing is very very wrong. May Allah guide them and protect us.
    | Likes Dont.know, Mandy liked this post
    Do Muslim women want to marry Non-muslim Men

    Three simple rules in life:

    1) If you do not go after what you want, you will never have it
    2) If you don't ask, the answer will always be no.
    3) If you do not step forward, you'll always be in the same place

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    Re: Do Muslim women want to marry Non-muslim Men

    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousonTruth View Post
    Salam, I'm a new member. Actually I came by because I saw [a reddit thread-removed]

    Here hundreds of muslim women say they are dating/marrying non-muslim men.

    Personally, I don't know muslim women a lot but is this how a lot of muslim women think and want? Please no censorship, I just want to know the truth, that's it.
    Quran has strictly prohibited for women to marry non Muslim men for God Says: "Let not your daughters to marry non Muslims..." The reason because, non Muslims will try to convert Muslim women to other faiths than Islam and that is wrong. And there are other many reasons why it is haram this kind of marriage. Also, Quran says: "do not approach near adultery and fornicarions" this is regarding dating.
    | Likes *charisma*, Eric H, Al Sultan liked this post

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    Re: Do Muslim women want to marry Non-muslim Men

    Oh no! That's not fair, ladies. Why do you have to be so smart and beautiful, and then say that you will never marry me? I'm not a bad guy.

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    Re: Do Muslim women want to marry Non-muslim Men

    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousonTruth View Post
    Salam, I'm a new member. Actually I came by because I saw [a reddit thread-removed]
    Here hundreds of muslim women say they are dating/marrying non-muslim men.
    Personally, I don't know muslim women a lot but is this how a lot of muslim women think and want? Please no censorship, I just want to know the truth, that's it.
    A person can register online and say he/she is a muslim, that doesn't mean he/she is.

    Since Islam is not only a belief, but the practice of that belief - it's hard to imagine any muslimah wants to share her life with a non muslim, especially considering the children has to be raised in Islam.

    But I can't say what other muslimah wants or thinks or why they want/think it. Each of us will answer Allah for our deeds.
    Do Muslim women want to marry Non-muslim Men

    Jabir bin 'Abdullah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w) said:'A slave (of Allah) shall not believe until he believes in Al-Qadar, its good and its bad, such that he knows that what struck him would not have missed him, and that what missed him would not have struck him." (Jami 'at Tirmidhi)

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    Re: Do Muslim women want to marry Non-muslim Men

    Quote Originally Posted by DanEdge View Post
    Oh no! That's not fair, ladies. Why do you have to be so smart and beautiful, and then say that you will never marry me? I'm not a bad guy.
    No, you are going against their will. Their will is to merry only Muslim men, they don't want to be merry a non Muslim. If you don't like something from that person, you have the right to stay away from him. And if Muslim women don't want to merry non Muslim men, it is their right.

    I think this is much fair. If you ask a Muslim woman to merry you for example and she refuses because of your religion, then you cannot force her to do something she does not want, that's against human right.
    | Likes DanEdge liked this post

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    Re: Do Muslim women want to marry Non-muslim Men

    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Zeus View Post
    No, you are going against their will. Their will is to merry only Muslim men, they don't want to be merry a non Muslim. If you don't like something from that person, you have the right to stay away from him. And if Muslim women don't want to merry non Muslim men, it is their right.

    I think this is much fair. If you ask a Muslim woman to merry you for example and she refuses because of your religion, then you cannot force her to do something she does not want, that's against human right.
    I was only joking, my friend. I respect anyone's decision to follow their religion. It is commendable to stick to one's principles.

    That said, I do not like this about many religions: that you are only allowed to marry people of the same religion. Love is a powerful force and sometimes it strikes suddenly with the intensity of lightning.

    To be honest, if I met a Muslim woman who attracted me, I would probably pursue her until she told me not to. I am (politely) aggressive with women, and I am attracted intelligent, creative, and somewhat crazy women.

    That is just my way, and it is part of the culture here in the South in USA. If you meet a woman you like, then you compliment her and ask her out on a date. Then you just have to respect her answer.

    To some, this may make me seem like an agent of Satan, but it doesn't seem like that to me at all. I am a kind and loving person, and that love is not restricted to anyone based on their religion. Like I said, though, I totally respect anyone's decision to follow their on religious principles when it comes to romance and marriage.

    -- Dan Edge

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    CuriousonTruth's Avatar
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    Re: Do Muslim women want to marry Non-muslim Men

    I did not ask for the ruling I know the ruling of course.

    I'm asking how many break the ruling. Recently social media influencers like Dina Tokio have promoted marriage between Muslim women and non-muslim men.

    And I had a look at the comments, far from criticizing her, many Muslim women came to support her, many were with hijab in their profile pic. They were saying comments like "It is our right to marry who we like."

    So that I was curious on the truth (hence my user name) on this matter. Do a lot of Muslim women in the West want to marry non-muslim men? If so, what percentage of them in estimate?

    - - - Updated - - -

    Another I would add and something that might piss a lot of people.......

    If this is indeed how Muslim women act once they are given freedom like in the West, then wouldn't the Taliban, Saudi, Iranian stance on female freedom be the best way forward for Islam?

    If you disagree please discuss why so?

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    Re: Do Muslim women want to marry Non-muslim Men

    I am confused about something. Maybe you guys can help me. I gathered from verse 5 of Surah Al-Ma'ida that it was permitted for Muslims to marry people of the book. Did I misunderstand this?or was that just for some particular time period, or some particular situation?

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    Re: Do Muslim women want to marry Non-muslim Men

    Quote Originally Posted by DanEdge View Post
    I am confused about something. Maybe you guys can help me. I gathered from verse 5 of Surah Al-Ma'ida that it was permitted for Muslims to marry people of the book. Did I misunderstand this?or was that just for some particular time period, or some particular situation?
    No it is only permitted for Muslim men to marry from People of the book, not women.

    And if you are going to want to turn this into a debate, let me tell you all schools of Sunni Islam, Shia Islam, Salafism, Sufi Islam, deobandis, tablighis, Barelwis, etc have ruled it is completely forbidden for a Muslim woman to marry non-muslim man.

    If you have been in a Muslim forum long enough, you should have realized by now it is quite a feat that scholars across all sects agree on something.
    | Likes DanEdge liked this post

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    CuriousonTruth's Avatar
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    Re: Do Muslim women want to marry Non-muslim Men

    Quote Originally Posted by *charisma* View Post
    Walaikum Assalaam,

    Absolutely not.

    The content of what you posted was removed because most of the women there are not even religious. Allah abiding women will not even look at a kaafir for marriage. There are decent nonMuslims out there, but at the end of the day they are still not Muslim and marriages to them will be invalid to begin with. Anyways we should be lowering our gazes, so for some women to shamelessly claim that they date these men or even leave their families for them is ridiculous and very saddening. It shows that their priorities are their desires, not to please Allah.
    There is a problem to this. You say Allah abiding women won't.

    But there are religious women who date non-muslim men, hoping to convert them.

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    Re: Do Muslim women want to marry Non-muslim Men

    (In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

    (Peace be upon you)


    First and foremost, welcome to Islamicboard. Thank you for entrusting us with your inquiries.

    Secondly, to answer your question, no one here can give you accurate information as to how many Muslim women might be breaking the clear Qur'anic injunction on this matter, as none of us here are social scientists that have done research on the specifics of this matter or pollsters who have accumulated data on such. What I can say is I believe the percentage might be smaller than what you probably seem to imagine or might have been led to imagine. And what I personally hope is that the percentage is minuscule, but Allah (God) alone knows best.

    Thirdly, no matter who the social media influencer is, Dina Tokio or anyone else (may Allah forgive and guide all peoples spreading erroneous information to the Straight Path), we do not extract our role models on Islam from modern-day peoples. Our Islam, Alhamdhullilah (thanks, gratitude, and credit to Allah) has been beautified and exemplified to us in the lives of Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), next the Companions (may Allah be pleased with them) of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), and, after that, the Tabi'un (people who saw the Companions) and Tabi' al-Tabi'in (the generation after the Tabi'un). We look to Qur'an and the Sunnah (prophetic way of life) and the best generations as enumerated above to guide us to the Pleasure of Allah (God). These are the best generations as a hadith (prophetic tradition) attests; and as Muslims, we should know that these are sufficiently our role models for all Time.

    Fourthly, we do not take our cue from modern (and often oppressive) regimes like Saudi Arabia or Iran or Taliban on how we ought to treat Muslim women or what freedoms we should or should not afford them. We have had a Caliphate for most of Islamic history, except in the last 100 years (with the eventual fall of the Ottoman Caliphate). So, we cannot subtract freedoms given to Muslim women on account of some women abusing their freedoms in the West.

    However, what I can tell you is that Muslims in the last 100 years or so have moved to the West in unprecedented numbers in recent history and most for definitively worldly reasons; this is an innovative practice as, from what I understand, and Allah (God) knows best, the only valid reason to move to non-Muslims lands is to give dawah (invitation to Islam) or clear-cut extreme cases of oppression with no better remaining choice for Muslims to avail otherwise. So, of course, when Muslims live and work among their non-Muslim brethren, their children, often not brought up into households with an Islamic focus, regardless of gender, many times growing up in that environment, may incline toward non-Muslim school mates, co-workers, neighbors, or friends; this is natural from a worldly perspective but undesirable from a hereafter perspective because Muslims' end goal is pleasure of Allah (God) rather than pleasure in fulfillment of any other inclinations. If anything, this shows the error of previous Muslim generations in bringing their children to the West without often (a) proper deliberation on the future state of subsequent generations of Muslims and (b) noble intentions of making dawah (invitation to Islam) to our non-Muslim brethren or (c) rearing their children in Islam-centered households.

    Allah is Al-Wadud ("The Loving") and Allah has granted both men and women from among human beings the desire to love and be loved; there is nothing wrong in that desire if it is channeled as a means of attaining lasting fulfillment in both worlds; however, it is not from Islam to fulfill one's desires at the expense of the hereafter. So, women who do so are in the wrong. No excuse or justification is accepted in Islam from following or innovating errors into the religion. May Allah guide them and us to the Straight Path and Allah's Pleasure.

    Muslim women are people like you, with their real flaws and foibles and desires; they have their bad qualities and they have their good qualities. Many are outwardly religious and others are inwardly religious, but the optimal situation is for a Muslim women to embody both inward and outward the perfection of Islam in her intentions, thought patterns, and actions.

    From our Muslim ummah (brethren), many women undoubtedly err, and it is not the hijab (headscarf) on their heads that indicate their true religiosity level but the taqwa (God-consciousness) in their hearts. If you see a believing man or believing woman erring, it is your obligation to correct them if at all possible or out of mercy simply make supplications for their guidance as you may feel appropriate. Please do not extrapolate from some Muslim women being in or justifying this error to many or even most Muslim desiring to similarly err; it is not from Islam to carry bad thoughts about our sisters or brothers.

    Allah (God) has given us freedom to make the right or wrong choices in life; if someone deliberately makes the wrong choices in life despite knowing the right from wrong, Allah (God) and the ummah (brethren) are free from responsibility of the wrongdoer's wrong actions.

    For the women who innovate such wrongs into the religion, enough is the reminder in the the Qur'an (31:33), which says, "
    Truly, the promise of God is True, so let not this present life delude you nor let the deluder delude you about God."

    (And peace be upon you)


    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousonTruth View Post
    I did not ask for the ruling I know the ruling of course.
    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousonTruth View Post

    I'm asking how many break the ruling. Recently social media influencers like Dina Tokio have promoted marriage between Muslim women and non-muslim men.

    And I had a look at the comments, far from criticizing her, many Muslim women came to support her, many were with hijab in their profile pic. They were saying comments like "It is our right to marry who we like."

    So that I was curious on the truth (hence my user name) on this matter. Do a lot of Muslim women in the West want to marry non-muslim men? If so, what percentage of them in estimate?

    - - - Updated - - -

    Another I would add and something that might piss a lot of people.......

    If this is indeed how Muslim women act once they are given freedom like in the West, then wouldn't the Taliban, Saudi, Iranian stance on female freedom be the best way forward for Islam?

    If you disagree please discuss why so?
    | Likes eesa the kiwi, Eric H, Nájlá, IslamLife00 liked this post

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    Re: Do Muslim women want to marry Non-muslim Men

    Quote Originally Posted by Search View Post
    (In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

    (Peace be upon you)


    First and foremost, welcome to Islamicboard. Thank you for entrusting us with your inquiries.

    Secondly, to answer your question, no one here can give you accurate information as to how many Muslim women might be breaking the clear Qur'anic injunction on this matter, as none of us here are social scientists that have done research on the specifics of this matter or pollsters who have accumulated data on such. What I can say is I believe the percentage might be smaller than what you probably seem to imagine or might have been led to imagine. And what I personally hope is that the percentage is minuscule, but Allah (God) alone knows best.

    Thirdly, no matter who the social media influencer is, Dina Tokio or anyone else (may Allah forgive and guide all peoples spreading erroneous information to the Straight Path), we do not extract our role models on Islam from modern-day peoples. Our Islam, Alhamdhullilah (thanks, gratitude, and credit to Allah) has been beautified and exemplified to us in the lives of Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), next the Companions (may Allah be pleased with them) of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), and, after that, the Tabi'un (people who saw the Companions) and Tabi' al-Tabi'in (the generation after the Tabi'un). We look to Qur'an and the Sunnah (prophetic way of life) and the best generations as enumerated above to guide us to the Pleasure of Allah (God). These are the best generations as a hadith (prophetic tradition) attests; and as Muslims, we should know that these are sufficiently our role models for all Time.

    Fourthly, we do not take our cue from modern (and often oppressive) regimes like Saudi Arabia or Iran or Taliban on how we ought to treat Muslim women or what freedoms we should or should not afford them. We have had a Caliphate for most of Islamic history, except in the last 100 years (with the eventual fall of the Ottoman Caliphate). So, we cannot subtract freedoms given to Muslim women on account of some women abusing their freedoms in the West.

    However, what I can tell you is that Muslims in the last 100 years or so have moved to the West in unprecedented numbers in recent history and most for definitively worldly reasons; this is an innovative practice as, from what I understand, and Allah (God) knows best, the only valid reason to move to non-Muslims lands is to give dawah (invitation to Islam) or clear-cut extreme cases of oppression with no better remaining choice for Muslims to avail otherwise. So, of course, when Muslims live and work among their non-Muslim brethren, their children, often not brought up into households with an Islamic focus, regardless of gender, many times growing up in that environment, may incline toward non-Muslim school mates, co-workers, neighbors, or friends; this is natural from a worldly perspective but undesirable from a hereafter perspective because Muslims' end goal is pleasure of Allah (God) rather than pleasure in fulfillment of any other inclinations. If anything, this shows the error of previous Muslim generations in bringing their children to the West without often (a) proper deliberation on the future state of subsequent generations of Muslims and (b) noble intentions of making dawah (invitation to Islam) to our non-Muslim brethren or (c) rearing their children in Islam-centered households.

    Allah is Al-Wadud ("The Loving") and Allah has granted both men and women from among human beings the desire to love and be loved; there is nothing wrong in that desire if it is channeled as a means of attaining lasting fulfillment in both worlds; however, it is not from Islam to fulfill one's desires at the expense of the hereafter. So, women who do so are in the wrong. No excuse or justification is accepted in Islam from following or innovating errors into the religion. May Allah guide them and us to the Straight Path and Allah's Pleasure.

    Muslim women are people like you, with their real flaws and foibles and desires; they have their bad qualities and they have their good qualities. Many are outwardly religious and others are inwardly religious, but the optimal situation is for a Muslim women to embody both inward and outward the perfection of Islam in her intentions, thought patterns, and actions.

    From our Muslim ummah (brethren), many women undoubtedly err, and it is not the hijab (headscarf) on their heads that indicate their true religiosity level but the taqwa (God-consciousness) in their hearts. If you see a believing man or believing woman erring, it is your obligation to correct them if at all possible or out of mercy simply make supplications for their guidance as you may feel appropriate. Please do not extrapolate from some Muslim women being in or justifying this error to many or even most Muslim desiring to similarly err; it is not from Islam to carry bad thoughts about our sisters or brothers.

    Allah (God) has given us freedom to make the right or wrong choices in life; if someone deliberately makes the wrong choices in life despite knowing the right from wrong, Allah (God) and the ummah (brethren) are free from responsibility of the wrongdoer's wrong actions.

    For the women who innovate such wrongs into the religion, enough is the reminder in the the Qur'an (31:33), which says, "
    Truly, the promise of God is True, so let not this present life delude you nor let the deluder delude you about God."

    (And peace be upon you)


    Thank you for the reply.

    I thought given most here live in the West, they could put up an estimate. Oh well.

    You are not pragmatic when you say that. Many young Muslims follow them. Whether we like it or not, the opinions of social media figures do shape the mind of many young Muslims, either for good or bad.

    If you say so, I'm waiting if other members also agree with that. I used to criticize Taliban's stance on women but personally I can see where they are coming from. They want to protect Muslims from turning westernized. Looking at Western society where women have so much, influence and sway, law is on their side, I would not want to be in such a place.

    Surely it is more than a mistake because she has basically left the Muslim community to become a member of her husband's community, therefore she practically has no ties with the Muslim community. Isn't that a form of apostasy?

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    Re: Do Muslim women want to marry Non-muslim Men

    (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

    Hope you're doing awesome, Dan. It is nice to see you posting here on Islamicboard.

    If Allah (God) wills, I wanted to answer your implicit question and the other query to the best of my abilities.

    I agree with you that love is a very powerful force. Therefore, I find it no surprise that one of Allah's (God's) 99 names is Al-Wadud, meaning, "The Loving." Indeed, Allah (God) is the author of all love. Without love, there would be no mercy or affinity among human beings. God is not oppressive of the desire to love or be loved. However, God desires that we as human beings understand what is love and to whom we should give that love which springs in our hearts. In Islam, a man or a woman is not simply a physical being. That person has a heavenly personality, that is, the soul, which desires to be set free. Given that each human being has been given a responsibility to discover and know this heavenly personality which resides within us, any block spiritually is devastation for the hereafter. And therefore, it is important for a believer to invest that love into God first. When that divine love truly takes root in the the heart of the believer first, that love then is able to be channeled into love for human beings. And when that love for all human beings is then properly funneled into a mate picked for life, then that person is likely to see that companion as a human being and honored creation of God first whom one should treat with love and then secondarily as a companion about whom the Qur'an (2:187)
    says, "They (your wives) are your garment and you are a garment for them." This beautiful verse makes clear the husband-wife relationship is to be the most intimate of relationships wherein both have the responsibility of another to cover, protect, and safeguard the interests of the other, to move in grace as analogically the garment moves as one with the body and is loved to be worn for practical as well as impractical reasons like beautifying the person (in the case of spousal relationship enabling the beautification of the inward and outward character of the person).

    This relationship will thereby be inherently unbalanced if a Muslim woman pursues it with a non-Muslim no matter how kind or nice the non-Muslim man is for the reasons that he will most likely not have mutual interest in helping her maintain specific obligations for the purposes of her faith in God: For example, a believing woman is restricted from have intercourse during her menstrual cycle, and a nonbeliever is less likely to understand or feel obliged to follow that restriction. A believing woman is obliged to fast in the month of Shahru Ramadan from sunrise to sunset and cannot have intercourse during that time, and a nonbeliever is less likely to understand or feel obliged to allow her that freedom to be free from his sexual advances for that given time period. Also, a Muslim woman must make ablution before praying and must be in that ritualistic state of purity when commencing prayer, which means she also cannot indulge his sexual play whenever she is about to pray. Also, a believer is not to engage in anal sex, which might not be able to be understood from a nonbeliever's point of view.

    Furthermore, a Muslim woman must raise her children in Islam, because it is a matter of both her and her children's hereafter; this might also likely be a point of contention in such a marriage; and even if an agreement is reached about the children being raised in Islam, it is likely the children will be confused about or grow distant from Islam seeing the father not following Islam. Moreover, in Islam, a believer has to pay zakat, obligatory payment made annually under Islamic law on certain kinds of property, to the poor and needy, which is essentially a wealth tax; and a nonbeliever might be less inclined to see that obligation as serving the household's combined financial interests. Also, a believing woman is obliged to make pilgrimage to Mecca at least once in her lifetime to wash away her sins; and she will be unable to travel alongside a non-believing partner to do so, because non-Muslims are not allowed to enter the sacred place in Mecca.
    She will have to bear the hardships of journeying without a trusted partner to engage in the same goal. These things might seem small right at the outset when the embers of love first begin to grow, but, as you may know, love does not always remain the passionate love of the first stage in a romantic relationship but transforms into a more knowing and comfortable kind of love later; and in that other stage, what might have seemed small then in the beginning is likely to grow into big differences or annoyances which have the power to break a loving relationship. And a relationship, from an Islamic standpoint, which did not build its foundation on the mutual love of God, which is considered primordial and eternal, is then less likely to last when temporal cracks appear.

    And you are right; Muslims are allowed to marry the chase and righteous from among the People of the Book, but that is a permission granted only to Muslim men. I understand this might seem discriminatory at the outset, but given what I've told you of what Islam requires of believers, I think you'll be able to see why that permission is granted to Muslim men only. A Muslim man, even if he marries a wife from among the People of the Book, will be expected to refrain from intercourse with her during her menstrual cycles and to not engage in intercourse when he's fasting for Shahru Ramadan and never engage in anal sex. He will be able to make the journey to Mecca and make pilgrimage without feeling burdened by the hardships of the journey that a woman unaccompanied by a spousal partner might feel. He may give zakat without secondary thought, especially as still households around the globe still witness men generally taking care of the bulk of finances; however, a Muslim woman, especially if she is financially dependent as a housewife, might in the same arrangement not even be in position of bargaining to pay her obligation of zakat if she has a non-Muslim partner not so inclined.

    In our time, there are undoubtedly some Muslim women, who in their lack of reflection on this matter more deeply, simply see the permission granted to men as an injustice against their own gender; however, if they truly began to reflect on what a marriage consists of in terms of sacrifices required, they'd realize that Islam is not preventing them from finding or acquiring the love they feel they deserve but is protecting them from unique harms that might emerge from such a marriage from the perspective of security for here and hereafter. And to be honest, if a Muslim woman truly believes in and loves God as per Islam, she is less likely to lust after the love of a man who does not believe in the same, because there would be no mutual foundation upon which to build the bridge to the hereafter in a partnership not based on the same. And even if she does happen to lust after the love of such a man, she will give up that love, for the sake of God. That is why believers remind themselves in prayer and outside of prayer, "AllahuAkbar," that is, "God is Greater."

    Peace Be Upon Those Who Follow Guidance

    Sincere Regards & Best Wishes,


    Quote Originally Posted by DanEdge View Post
    I was only joking, my friend. I respect anyone's decision to follow their religion. It is commendable to stick to one's principles.

    That said, I do not like this about many religions: that you are only allowed to marry people of the same religion. Love is a powerful force and sometimes it strikes suddenly with the intensity of lightning.

    To be honest, if I met a Muslim woman who attracted me, I would probably pursue her until she told me not to. I am (politely) aggressive with women, and I am attracted intelligent, creative, and somewhat crazy women.

    That is just my way, and it is part of the culture here in the South in USA. If you meet a woman you like, then you compliment her and ask her out on a date. Then you just have to respect her answer.

    To some, this may make me seem like an agent of Satan, but it doesn't seem like that to me at all. I am a kind and loving person, and that love is not restricted to anyone based on their religion. Like I said, though, I totally respect anyone's decision to follow their on religious principles when it comes to romance and marriage.

    -- Dan Edge
    Quote Originally Posted by DanEdge View Post
    I am confused about something. Maybe you guys can help me. I gathered from verse 5 of Surah Al-Ma'ida that it was permitted for Muslims to marry people of the book. Did I misunderstand this?or was that just for some particular time period, or some particular situation?
    | Likes Eric H, DanEdge, IslamLife00 liked this post

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    Re: Do Muslim women want to marry Non-muslim Men

    not at all Allah abiding women will not even look at a kaafir for marriage. There are decent nonMuslims out there, but at the end of the day they are still not Muslim and marriages to them will be invalid to begin with. Anyways we should be lowering our gazes, so for some women to shamelessly claim that they date these men or even leave their families for them is ridiculous .
    Do Muslim women want to marry Non-muslim Men


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    Re: Do Muslim women want to marry Non-muslim Men

    In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

    (Peace Be Upon You)

    I acknowledge that there are many young Muslims who are susceptible to the influence of social media influencers. However, I hope that the general community and elders in particular will be able to teach young people that the people who are role models should be timeless, not for just this time. And I hope you are one such person to be able to communicate that in a wise manner to young people, as you seem to be passionate about this subject.

    On another point, when you say you you don't want women to be Westernized, I understand you mean that to not adopting outlook or behaviors that are not indicative of their submission to Allah. That said, I humbly entreat you to be cautious when using this term "Westernized" because people raised or born in the West will be "Westernized" as a result of the cultural orientation but that doesn't always have to indicate a negative attribute if it doesn't conflict with Islam. For example, one of the values in Western culture is to have a work ethic which is also a cherished Islamic value. And another Western value is independence, which is also a desirable attribute in Islam so that a person is not reliant on others. This is one of the reasons Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), for example, mended his own clothes and repaired his own shoes so that he may not depend on others for that service. Another Western value is privacy, which is also highly respected as a value in Islam. This is why one of the Sunnahs (prophetic way) of Prophet
    (peace and blessings be upon him)
    is to not look into any house without being granted permission to enter the premises.

    However, other modern Western values, such as consumerism or sexual freedom or promotion of gender neutrality, are against Islam. And of course, as Muslims, we should not adopt any values of any culture that are not aligned with Islam's moral compass.

    As far as a Muslim woman marrying a non-Muslim is concerned with respect to apostasy, this question is best put to a scholar, and I'm not one; so, I will not answer this question and instead ask that you address yourself to a scholar with this question.

    Thank you.

    (And peace be upon you)


    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousonTruth View Post
    Thank you for the reply.

    I thought given most here live in the West, they could put up an estimate. Oh well.

    You are not pragmatic when you say that. Many young Muslims follow them. Whether we like it or not, the opinions of social media figures do shape the mind of many young Muslims, either for good or bad.

    If you say so, I'm waiting if other members also agree with that. I used to criticize Taliban's stance on women but personally I can see where they are coming from. They want to protect Muslims from turning westernized. Looking at Western society where women have so much, influence and sway, law is on their side, I would not want to be in such a place.

    Surely it is more than a mistake because she has basically left the Muslim community to become a member of her husband's community, therefore she practically has no ties with the Muslim community. Isn't that a form of apostasy?
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    Re: Do Muslim women want to marry Non-muslim Men

    Quote Originally Posted by Search View Post
    In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

    (Peace Be Upon You)

    I acknowledge that there are many young Muslims who are susceptible to the influence of social media influencers. However, I hope that the general community and elders in particular will be able to teach young people that the people who are role models should be timeless, not for just this time. And I hope you are one such person to be able to communicate that in a wise manner to young people, as you seem to be passionate about this subject.

    On another point, when you say you you don't want women to be Westernized, I understand you mean that to not adopting outlook or behaviors that are not indicative of their submission to Allah. That said, I humbly entreat you to be cautious when using this term "Westernized" because people raised or born in the West will be "Westernized" as a result of the cultural orientation but that doesn't always have to indicate a negative attribute if it doesn't conflict with Islam. For example, one of the values in Western culture is to have a work ethic which is also a cherished Islamic value. And another Western value is independence, which is also a desirable attribute in Islam so that a person is not reliant on others. This is one of the reasons Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), for example, mended his own clothes and repaired his own shoes so that he may not depend on others for that service. Another Western value is privacy, which is also highly respected as a value in Islam. This is why one of the Sunnahs (prophetic way) of Prophet
    (peace and blessings be upon him)
    is to not look into any house without being granted permission to enter the premises.

    However, other modern Western values, such as consumerism or sexual freedom or promotion of gender neutrality, are against Islam. And of course, as Muslims, we should not adopt any values of any culture that are not aligned with Islam's moral compass.

    As far as a Muslim woman marrying a non-Muslim is concerned with respect to apostasy, this question is best put to a scholar, and I'm not one; so, I will not answer this question and instead ask that you address yourself to a scholar with this question.

    Thank you.

    (And peace be upon you)
    I do what I can within my limit.

    With due respect, hard work or work ethic are Eastern culture. Same with discipline, sacrifice, respecting older people.

    As for independence, I disagree, the whole point of Islam is to submit the will to Allah. So no in this matter Western culture is an anti-thesis to Islam.

    But anyway that wasn't our point of discussion so I want to end this discussion here.

  23. #19
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    Re: Do Muslim women want to marry Non-muslim Men

    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousonTruth View Post
    There is a problem to this. You say Allah abiding women won't.

    But there are religious women who date non-muslim men, hoping to convert them.
    You seem to confuse muslim women with women who SAY they are muslim.

    If a woman says she is muslim, but then goes on telling you that she never prays, never goes to the mosque, says that she eats pork, drinks alcohol and she also wears the most revealing cloths imaginable. Is she really muslim? I think not. She might says she is and she might be from a muslim family or muslim culture. But that is all.

    As for women saying "I will marry him to convert him", maybe they say it, but it means they are not following Alllah's word.They are either confused or simply trying to make an excuse as to why they are disobeying. Be careful of what people say on social media. As that is usually far from the truth and just vanity.
    Last edited by Mandy; 02-01-2019 at 12:59 PM.
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    Re: Do Muslim women want to marry Non-muslim Men

    Greetings and peace be with you Dan;

    Quote Originally Posted by DanEdge View Post
    That said, I do not like this about many religions: that you are only allowed to marry people of the same religion.
    If you believe in a God who is the creator of all that is seen and unseen, then God should be the greatest influence in how we lead our lives. In the UK, the break down of the family unit, coincides with our country lacking faith in God. Marriage has lost its meaning, it is with great sadness that I meet a lot of depressed and suicidal men, they have children with several partners and are separated from all of them. Sex and having a good time seems to be the order of the day, as long as you are not hurting anyone; but people are deeply hurt after a break up. It is always about temptation and where these temptations lead us when we turn our back on God.

    Marriage and having children is one of the hardest things we do in life. But marriage is more than the man and woman, there are the children, grandparents, uncles aunts, family and friends. Good marriages are the building block of good communities. Places of worship bring communities together and they work so much better when the grandparents, children, grand children, family and friends come together to help each other.

    In the spirit of searching for God,

    Eric
    | Likes RisingLight, DanEdge, Search liked this post
    Do Muslim women want to marry Non-muslim Men

    You will never look into the eyes of anyone who does not matter to God.


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