in my last thread i talked about how i met a muslim girl on the internet (i wasnt seeking to talk to girls,this just happened) and how bad i felt after as i saw some of her pics (ofc i didnt ask for those) and i felt as if i could never love her,because i was afraid when i would see her in real life i wouldnt like her at all.
So i took the advices here and what some other people told me,and I ''broke up'' lets say,so she wouldnt be more hurt in the future if i decided i didnt want to marry her.I took this decision even though after making lots of istikhara and duaa i didnt get a clear answer,or maybe i got but i wasnt understanding it.
But now i regret it and i am completely shattered,i dont find pleasure in anything,i feel extremely lonely,i miss her a lot and think of her the whole time,and i wish i went back in time a bit so i wouldnt do what i did.Her friend messaged me asking me whats wrong with her,and why is she only crying and not eating anything,just crying the whole time.
I feel like I will never find a muslim girl who will love me as much as she does,or even find a girl who is as good as her.I am a convert and a foreign,i dont have a fancy profession or money,yet she agreed to marry me the way i am.
-What should i do? I want to meet her but it would take 2-3 for me till i can go meet her/her family in real life.By that time,what if she doesnt love me anymore,or is even married,cuz she gets proposals all the time.
-Should I even tell her that i still want to meet you,its just that we shouldnt talk anymore until then? or will that give her false hopes,because i dont know if i will like her for real,and beauty is important for me i wish i wasnt such a swine but what can i do...?
-And if its better to let her go.How to deal with the fear that i may never find a girl better than her that will love me the same way?
Please help me,am paying so much for this ...
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