Its getting worst and worst everyday!!! help me!!..

I was handsome guy from middle class family. It made me valuable in the girl’s eyes. But in the time when I was looking for future wife I didn’t think I must get girl like this, like that. That’s because I realized, getting life-partner is different than buying t-shirt. If I wanted to buy t-shirt I could go to the store and choose any t-shirt that I want. But if I wanted to get life-partner?. I might be interested to marry a girl. But if this girl was not interested to marry me, then what could I do?. That’s why I just expected a girl who was willing to accept me.

Okay young bro, do you want to marry rich beautiful woman?. Go ahead. Come to every single woman like this, and tell her that you want to marry her. Look her reaction. If she accept you, Alhamdulillah. But if you are always rejected, then you have to rethinking, are you worth for woman like this or not?.

Look at yourself before you making criteria of expected life-partner.

My first future wife was typical village girl from poor family in a small town. She didn’t marry me because my mother and her mother hated each other. The woman who then became the mother of my children was from poor family too who lived in same city. Why should I expect rich woman?. I didn’t want to live with my in-law money.

format_quote Originally Posted by ardianto

I was handsome guy from middle class family. It made me valuable in the girl’s eyes. But in the time when I was looking for future wife I didn’t think I must get girl like this, like that. That’s because I realized, getting life-partner is different than buying t-shirt. If I wanted to buy t-shirt I could go to the store and choose any t-shirt that I want. But if I wanted to get life-partner?. I might be interested to marry a girl. But if this girl was not interested to marry me, then what could I do?. That’s why I just expected a girl who was willing to accept me.

Okay young bro, do you want to marry rich beautiful woman?. Go ahead. Come to every single woman like this, and tell her that you want to marry her. Look her reaction. If she accept you, Alhamdulillah. But if you are always rejected, then you have to rethinking, are you worth for woman like this or not?.

Look at yourself before you making criteria of expected life-partner.

My first future wife was typical village girl from poor family in a small town. She didn’t marry me because my mother and her mother hated each other. The woman who then became the mother of my children was from poor family too who lived in same city. Why should I expect rich woman?. I didn’t want to live with my in-law money.

It has happened before thats why.There was a very very rich girl who is going to be a surgeon too,who kept asking to marry me for 3 years!!
I rejected her cuz she was not beautiful and i felt suffocated.
I always feel suffocated when things get serious i dont know what to do!.Shaytan tells me i can do better.Also i have this habit of comparing everything to others.
Now i feel suffocated again with this girl again,more than with everyone because i dont even want to marry now i want to focus on Allah only

But this thing is completely destroying my deen and emaan i can hardly pray now all i think is how suffocated i am and how can i live with someone i dont love.
I am like shaytan,i think i am better than anyone and can always do better.Logically i know i am just a coward/looser/child but i dont know why i feel i am better than everybody.

Its like i have two different people inside me.Probably am mentally ill.This situation is making me more crazy