After giving a lot of thought i realised i have a major problem.This is the root of all evil to me.
First I feel like I am the best from everyone.Every time things get serious with a person,be it a girl or a bestfriend i feel suffocated and want to end contact because i cant live with the idea that i am linked to someone "inferior" than me.
Now i am about to marry a girl,a very good girl and i have already broken her heart twice by coming and going and now for the third time i feel extremely suffocated again and want to break marriage promise again.
I dont know if its waswas or mental disorder caused by childhood trauma.My parents and other people always brought me down and i developed this coping mechanism that i am the best and deserve the best.
But it has gotten so bad its not letting me enjoy a single moment and am getting literally sick lately from the extreme anxiety that i have.
I cannot see my life linked with another person,unless they are extremely wealthy or beautiful so i can profit from them and show to the whole world how ''superior'' i am from them.
Wallahi I dont want to feel like this.It is ruining my dunya and akhirah.
What should i do to be normal? (except ruqyah,i dont want ruqyah)
I cannot see my life linked with another person,unless they are extremely wealthy or beautiful so i can profit from them and show to the whole world how ''superior'' i am from them.
You may assume if you had extremely wealthy and beautiful wife, then you would look superior toward the world. But in fact, the world would see you as inferior toward your wife.
Try to see the life in wider perspective. No need to blame your past. What you must do now is improve yourself to be better person.
After giving a lot of thought i realised i have a major problem.This is the root of all evil to me.
First I feel like I am the best from everyone.Every time things get serious with a person,be it a girl or a bestfriend i feel suffocated and want to end contact because i cant live with the idea that i am linked to someone "inferior" than me.
Now i am about to marry a girl,a very good girl and i have already broken her heart twice by coming and going and now for the third time i feel extremely suffocated again and want to break marriage promise again.
I dont know if its waswas or mental disorder caused by childhood trauma.My parents and other people always brought me down and i developed this coping mechanism that i am the best and deserve the best.
But it has gotten so bad its not letting me enjoy a single moment and am getting literally sick lately from the extreme anxiety that i have.
I cannot see my life linked with another person,unless they are extremely wealthy or beautiful so i can profit from them and show to the whole world how ''superior'' i am from them.
Wallahi I dont want to feel like this.It is ruining my dunya and akhirah.
What should i do to be normal? (except ruqyah,i dont want ruqyah)
Brother, you need to let go of that pain from what your parents and others did to you in the past.
Give yourself some time to heal and increase acts of worship and good deeds to bring you closer to Allah, the One who can heal you best.
Only Allah can say if any of His creation is superior or inferior in comparison to other creations.
So don't allow anyone make you feel inferior and don't consider others inferior nor make them feel inferior either.
Try self-ruqya, even if it doesn't help, it won't cause you harm - and the Qur'an is guidance, healing and mercy from Allah, so why won't self-ruqya help you heal?
Jabir bin 'Abdullah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w) said:'A slave (of Allah) shall not believe until he believes in Al-Qadar, its good and its bad, such that he knows that what struck him would not have missed him, and that what missed him would not have struck him." (Jami 'at Tirmidhi)
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