Wife Refuses Intercourse

Assalamu Alaikum

format_quote Originally Posted by mm1000

I haven't had intercourse with my wife for 2 months. She states that I need to fulfill her desires first (getting a job, fixing my health, being more nice to her). I am working on my education but I am actively look for work now. I have been working on my health and I do not have any major health issues just am overweight. I have been nice to her but she just asks a lot from me. I pay all the bills even though my financial situation because of my lack of a job is strained. I never have asked her to pitch in. We were separated for a while but now we are back together. She said she wants to wait until I fulfill her desires and then she will "think" about having intercourse or being affectionate. I am so sick of her; I want to leave her but I want to be more stable financially and mentally when I do. Right now I am working on become that way so when the time comes I can leave more easily.
My question is: if she is withholding intercourse, does she have a right to do so based off the scenario mentioned above? She always acts like she is religious but she only picks and chooses whatever suits her way of life (ie: backbiting, wearing heavy makeup or leaving me for many days to visit her parents).

No, she doesn't have a right to do that for those reasons; those aren't valid reasons. You can try to speak to her, maybe she's having reservations about being with you as well, or maybe she is just not attracted to you. Either way, if there is relationship there, then I don't see the point in you having to continue the marriage simply because you want to wait until you are more successful. That actually sounds a bit vindictive. You need to be happy with yourself and find success regardless of her presence. Of course it would be an amazing scenario if your wife was there to support you and help you a long the way, but that is going to require some communication, compassion, and understanding. There are alternatives to working this out, but if there is just no attraction or effort to do anything on either of your parts, then there will be no positive results.

Assalamu Alaikum. I agree with the response in part. She has no right to to wthhold. Please, both of you need to meet privately with your Imam which I hope is as competent Counselor as mine. You also must do dua and ask Allah to preserve the marriage if it is his will.