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  1. #1
    peacefulone's Avatar
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    Unhappy oppression when it will end?

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    Assalamu alaykum
    I am wondering if a husband emotionally abused his wife and damages her things without remorse and he never changes. is it okay for her to pray for jannah as a reward for her suffering? And can she ask Allah for a different husband in Jannah? It doesn't mean she is asking for her husband in dunya to be in hell...but she doesn't want to suffer from is oppression any longer or even see his face...she suffers this life as a punishment from Allah to earn her freedom in Jannah and since there is no injustice in Jannah why should she be with the same man who ruined her dunya....

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    Physicist's Avatar
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    Re: oppression when it will end?

    I think it's her personal jihad to solve this situation while in dunya.
    To change him or to change herself to accept him as he is or to find a way out of this marriage.

    Because I don't think that such a life of hypocrisy will be rewarded with Janna. Basically she dreams about other man, but shares her bed with a man whom she doesn't love.

  4. #3
    Ahmed.'s Avatar
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    Re: oppression when it will end?

    Walaikum assalam rahmatullahi barakatuh

    Yes sister on day of judgement if you don't want him to be your husband then you can choose another husband

    Don't worry you won't be a hypocryt and 'desiring another man' in the sexual sense, @Physicist is a new convert and he doesn't yet understand that in Muslim culture, divorce isn't such an easy matter for women and he is judging with the non-Muslim culture ...

    @Physicist ... you've got a lot to learn bruv
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    peacefulone's Avatar
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    Re: oppression when it will end?

    Salam alaykum.
    Thanks brother ahmed.
    Phyicist. Its not about desiring another man in this life. Its about being stuck with an abusive man after marriage and not wanting the sin of asking for divorce which is worse for women.
    A woman is not like a man. A woman can stay in a bad marriage being faithful if she will earn love of Allah. ...
    Jannah is where there is no injustice. So its not fair to see a woman suffer abuse throughout all of dunya then get stuck with the abuser fir eternity.
    An abuser never changes until he or she wants.
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    Physicist's Avatar
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    Re: oppression when it will end?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ahmed. View Post
    ... in Muslim culture, divorce isn't such an easy matter for women and he is judging with the non-Muslim culture ...
    But it is still possible, right? In Al-Baqara there are ayats regarding divorce.

    I can understand, when spouses already have children and bear responsibility for them.
    But if they didn't yet and she don't want to bear children from this man, why she has to?
    It is required to have consent of the woman to marry her. But it may happen, that before marriage he was playing nice but afterwards revealed his bad character.

  8. #6
    CuriousonTruth's Avatar
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    Re: oppression when it will end?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ahmed. View Post
    Walaikum assalam rahmatullahi barakatuh

    Yes sister on day of judgement if you don't want him to be your husband then you can choose another husband

    Don't worry you won't be a hypocryt and 'desiring another man' in the sexual sense, @Physicist is a new convert and he doesn't yet understand that in Muslim culture, divorce isn't such an easy matter for women and he is judging with the non-Muslim culture ...
    Conservative muslim culture.

    Keyword: Conservative

    It's not a problem in liberal, secular and western muslim societies.

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    Ahmed.'s Avatar
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    Re: oppression when it will end?

    Quote Originally Posted by Physicist View Post
    But it is still possible, right? In Al-Baqara there are ayats regarding divorce.

    I can understand, when spouses already have children and bear responsibility for them.
    But if they didn't yet and she don't want to bear children from this man, why she has to?
    It is required to have consent of the woman to marry her. But it may happen, that before marriage he was playing nice but afterwards revealed his bad character.
    The sister never said anything about not having children. I agree if she doesn't have any children then divorce May be the best solution for her if she has no hope of him changing his oppressive character,

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousonTruth View Post
    Conservative muslim culture.

    Keyword: Conservative

    It's not a problem in liberal, secular and western muslim societies.
    There is a problem with your last sentence

    95% of Muslims in the West are born Muslims living the conservative Muslim culture with slight adaptive westernisation. You make it sound as though the ratio is much more equal

  10. #8
    CuriousonTruth's Avatar
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    Re: oppression when it will end?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ahmed. View Post
    95% of Muslims in the West are born Muslims living the conservative Muslim culture with slight adaptive westernisation. You make it sound as though the ratio is much more equal
    I think your numbers are way off, even in Muslim countries 30-50% are conservative. And it's not slight, it's in the entirety. I doubt you will find clerics like Mufti Menk, Abu Layth, etc from classical Islamic period.

    But anyway I don't want to argue.


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