You have to be submissive only to Allah.
And in order to please Allah you are choosing most appropriate way in life.
You don't have to be slave of the family or the husband.
But. You should be wise and behave properly for mutual benefit.
If they know better than you, then you should obey. If you think you are right and they are wrong, you need to understand the source of the problem and solve it.
If you can't solve the problem and believe it is better to leave, then leave.
The same about husband. There is your choice, you can reject a man if you think he is not good enough to be your husband.
If you can't find anyone good enough, may be there is something wrong with your estimations. But the choice is yours always.
You may decide to live alone all life, just it is better to get married and give life to new Muslims.
Okay so anyways
Should I be a co wife to my problem or submissive slave woman?
Well I want to deal friendly with my family
But I have bipolar every time I try to be kind to them
My sharp tongue gets in the way
Tongue=takes you to hell
Also one more question
Does a muslim woman need a man to be muslim?
If so explain?....
Assalamu Alaikum sister,
Both a husband and wife ought to act in submission to Allah as the number one priority.
Sometimes it seems-both men and women are leaders for the family; other times- men are the leaders.
If the husband is disobedient then one would only have to think about the fate of Abu Lahab and his wife to be instantly reminded that accountability is for each individual.
Additionally, Islam states that Muslims/believers are protecting friends of each other. So with the case of a husband's disobedience/s a wife would have to correct him and be against him, rather than submissive.
With regards to a sharp tongue, then an advice would be to calm down before addressing certain matters. Usually, anger is a waste of time with damaging consequences, although sometimes inevitable...
I heard in a lecture that a woman was displeased with her husband and wanted a divorce, but the Shaykh told her wait until after Ramadan, focus only on your ibaadah and strengthening the relationship between you and Allah, afterwards then consider your decision once more. Well, apparently after Ramadan her mind had changed. So, there is a lesson here. (don't look for outside solutions when fixing things can be made possible...and hopefully so)
Just remember no one is perfect and when one regularly slips up majorly with tongue lashings and so forth then compensate otherwise by some goodly actions towards family etc. (By the way everything has a context-even the wives of the prophet peace and blessings, be upon him spoke up against perceived injustices!)
Lastly, that same Shaykh was known to have said... the man who cannot be just to his first wife should not have another. (Chances are they will both be treated unfairly...so please be very careful about this co-wife issue! etc.) Provided that anger is from really unfair treatment or provocations, then with such personal details, perhaps best seek scholarly advice/s.
http://www.askimam.org/ https://www.seekersguidance.org/answers/
May Allah make your affairs successful in every way possible. Ameen.
"Allah’s preeternal will coincides with His preeternal knowledge, and this by no means negates the free will of man and jinn.That is to say, Allah in preeternity knew and, based on His knowledge, willed that Firown would be the way he would. Allah decreed the actions of Firown as per His preeternal knowledge of Firown’s choices. Of course, there is no implication of time sequence in this (see below on Allah’s timelessness).
But in his own lifetime, Firown chose to act the way he acted, and was not forced by any means. The two realities are not mutually exclusive. We affirm human free will, and we also affirm divine knowledge, will and power.
This issue is a complex one that is difficult for the mind to grasp at even an elementary level. Indeed, at the root of our difficulty is that we cannot fathom the divine attribute of ‘timelessness.’ He Most High is the First and the Last, without beginning and without end. He is not bound by time, since time itself is His creation. As our Master Ibn Ata’illah states, “Allah existed, and there was nothing besides Him. And He is now just as He was.”
So all of creation, and all moments of creation, are “laid out” in front of the Divine, as it were. There is no ‘before/now/after’ with respect to Allah. So from the divine vantage point, Firown’s place in the Fire is not ‘after’ Firown’s birth… Divine knowledge of Firown did not increase one iota after Firown. This is essential to understand. It was already done, in a sense.
“They did not estimate Allah His rightful estimation; indeed, Allah is strong, mighty.” (22:74)
Last edited by HisServant; 07-01-2019 at 06:08 AM.
Reason: Stated something wrongly - astaghfirullah.
"(34. Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are Qanitat, and guard in the husband's absence what Allah orders them to guard. As to those women on whose part you see ill conduct, admonish them, and abandon them in their beds, and beat them, but if they return to obedience, do not seek a means against them. Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.) Allah said,
﴿الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَآءِ﴾
(Men are the protectors and maintainers of women,) meaning, the man is responsible for the woman, and he is her maintainer, caretaker and leader who disciplines her if she deviates. ﴿بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍ﴾
(because Allah has made one of them to excel the other,) meaning, because men excel over women and are better than them for certain tasks. This is why prophethood was exclusive of men, as well as other important positions of leadership. The Prophet said,
(People who appoint a woman to be their leader, will never achieve success.) Al-Bukhari recorded this Hadith. Such is the case with appointing women as judges or on other positions of leadership.
﴿وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُواْ مِنْ أَمْوَلِهِمْ﴾
(and because they spend from their means.) meaning the dowry, expenditures and various expenses that Allah ordained in His Book and the Sunnah of His Messenger for men to spend on women. For these reasons it is suitable that he is appointed her maintainer, just as Allah said, ﴿وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌ﴾
(But men have a degree (of responsibility) over them)."
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Sign Up
Hide
Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
Bookmarks